Sisters In Sobriety

Sonia Kahlon and Kathleen Killen
  • 4.9 (34)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

You know that sinking feeling when you wake up with a hangover and think: “I’m never doing this again”? We’ve all been there. But what happens when you follow through? Sonia Kahlon and Kathleen Killen can tell you, because they did it! They went from sisters-in-law, to Sisters in Sobriety. In this podcast, Sonia and Kathleen invite you into their world, as they navigate the ups and downs of sobriety, explore stories of personal growth and share their journey of wellness and recovery. Get ready for some real, honest conversations about sobriety, addiction, and everything in between. Episodes will cover topics such as: reaching emotional sobriety, how to make the decision to get sober, adopting a more mindful lifestyle, socializing without alcohol, and much more. Whether you’re sober-curious, seeking inspiration and self-care through sobriety, or embracing the alcohol-free lifestyle already… Tune in for a weekly dose of vulnerability, mutual support and much needed comic relief. Together...

  1. Why Successful Women Get Stuck in the Same Relationship Patterns With Riana M

    5d ago

    Why Successful Women Get Stuck in the Same Relationship Patterns With Riana M

    In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Riana Malia explore how old relationship patterns, identity shifts, and unconscious beliefs can keep women stuck in cycles that no longer match the lives they are trying to build. Riana is a board-certified neuro-somatic practitioner whose work helps women break long-standing relational patterns and create deeper, more authentic connection. They look at what happens when women have done the inner work, moved through sobriety, divorce, reinvention, or major life transitions, and are ready for relationships that reflect who they are now — not who they used to be. The conversation opens up big questions about why high-achieving women can be so successful, strategic, and clear in their careers, yet still feel confused or stuck in love, dating, friendships, family dynamics, or partnership. Why do the same patterns keep repeating? What is the difference between knowing a pattern intellectually and actually releasing it from the body? How do childhood beliefs, unconscious programming, and old identities shape the way women choose, attach, perform, shrink, over-function, or settle in relationships? Riana explains how neuroscience, somatic awareness, identity work, and emotional release come together in her Clear to Create method. She talks about clearing old stories, cycles, resentment, loss, limiting beliefs, and emotional charge so that women can create confidence, partnership, love, and a life that feels aligned. The episode also explores why “I don’t want this anymore” can still keep attention fixed on the very thing someone is trying to avoid, how the unconscious mind drives so many relationship patterns, and why replacing old neurology matters just as much as understanding it. Riana also shares practical tools, including her “Magnet for Miracles” exercise and a 72-hour rubber-band practice designed to interrupt negative thought loops and redirect attention toward what is actually desired. Riana shares the life experiences that shaped her work — growing up with a distant father, being forced to become resourceful at 18, entering a lonely young marriage, navigating a painful divorce, moving across the country, losing financial security, and eventually finding herself in a relationship that became her line-in-the-sand moment. Her story traces the path from survival and self-abandonment to clarity, self-trust, and becoming available for a different kind of love. She also shares how doing this work changed her own life and helped her become ready for the healthy partnership she once thought would never happen for her. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights [00:01:00] Riana Malia is introduced as a board-certified neuro-somatic practitioner helping women break old relationship patterns. [00:02:00] Riana shares the early experience of being left without college housing support and learning how to become resourceful. [00:03:00] She describes getting three jobs, renting a house, and staying in school despite having no clear path forward. [00:04:00] Riana talks about marrying young, feeling lonely in marriage, and becoming a mother. [00:05:00] She opens up about the fear, anger, and volatility that followed her divorce. [00:06:00] Riana explains the decision to move to California despite every instinct telling her not to. [00:08:00] She recounts the DEA investigation that upended her life and froze the assets she was relying on. [00:09:00] Riana describes choosing to stay in California to keep her promise to her daughter. [00:10:00] She shares the “never again” moment that led her to stop shrinking, performing, and abandoning herself in relationships. [00:11:00] Riana introduces her Clear to Create method and explains why people have to clear old stories before creating a new life. [00:12:00] She explains how unconscious patterns keep people repeating the same relationships, jobs, money patterns, or family dynamics. [00:14:00] Riana talks about becoming ready to receive healthy love after clearing old toxic patterns. [00:16:00] She uses a dinner order metaphor to explain why clarity, specificity, values, desires, and non-negotiables matter. [00:18:00] Riana explains why high-achieving women can feel confident at work but stuck in relationships. [00:19:00] She breaks down the conscious and unconscious mind using the 10% and 90% framework. [00:22:00] Riana compares old identities and beliefs to expired pantry items that need to be cleared out. [00:24:00] She explains the difference between becoming aware of a pattern and actually replacing the neurology behind it. [00:31:00] Riana shares the bridge metaphor for stepping into a new identity that matches who someone is becoming. [00:39:00] Sonia asks about manifestation, and Riana reframes it through neuroscience, frequency, and attention. [00:43:00] Riana walks through the “Magnet for Miracles” exercise using the away wall, toward wall, and 72-hour rubber band practice. Riana's Links 🌐 Website https://rianamalia.com/ SIS LINKS 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack– where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s WebsiteKathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

    55 min
  2. Sonia Does The Steps: Step 3 - From Willpower to Willingness

    Jun 8

    Sonia Does The Steps: Step 3 - From Willpower to Willingness

    In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen continue the 12-step series with Arlina Allen for a real, funny, and deeply honest conversation about Step Three: making a decision to turn will and life over to a higher power. Arlina helps unpack the language that can feel intimidating, especially the “God” part, and reframes Step Three as a practice of willingness, surrender, and learning to stop doing recovery alone. The conversation explores what it means to move from willpower to willingness, why “trying harder” often keeps people stuck, and how dependence on a higher power can actually create more freedom. Sonia and Arlina talk about abstinence, moderation, self-will, fear, control, family triggers, difficult conversations, and the emotional gymnastics of wondering whether there is an “easier, softer way” to stay sober. Along the way, they make Step Three feel practical and human. They discuss the difference between surrender and giving up, how intuition can show up as peace, why self-care is part of spiritual practice, and how resentment becomes a bridge into Step Four. The episode also touches on the Serenity Prayer, direct communication, emotional responsibility, and the inventory process: naming resentments, identifying how they affect self-esteem, security, relationships, and fear, and beginning to see one’s own patterns without collapsing into shame. In the personal story segment, Sonia reflects on the relief and grief of realizing that full abstinence is the easier, softer way for her, even when part of her wishes she could use substances differently. Arlina shares how old family patterns, friendship endings, people-pleasing, and “everybody hates me” thinking still show up after decades of sobriety—and how connection, gratitude, honest conversations, and returning to practice help bring her back to peace. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights [00:01:00] Sonia explains why Step Two felt like a mental hurdle. [00:03:00] Arlina reads Step Three and reframes it through willingness. [00:04:00] The set-aside prayer opens the door to new information. [00:05:00] Sonia shares when she finally became willing to consider abstinence. [00:06:00] Dependence on a higher power becomes independence of spirit. [00:08:00] Step Three is not abdicating responsibility. [00:09:00] Arlina explains ego, intuition, and the quiet voice of peace. [00:12:00] Outside perspective helps interrupt the silo of self-will. [00:14:00] Family triggers reveal old default settings. [00:16:00] Arlina checks self-care when “nobody likes me” thinking returns. [00:18:00] Sonia reflects on learning to treat herself like a precious object. [00:21:00] Recovery as a practice, not a one-time achievement. [00:23:00] “Ish” and dimmer switches offer a gentler view of consistency. [00:24:00] Arlina defines self-will as fear, control, and self-centeredness. [00:27:00] Love versus fear becomes a simple spiritual gut check. [00:30:00] Letting go of a friendship becomes an act of self-respect. [00:33:00] Sonia connects with “no easier, softer way.” [00:36:00] Running the experiment again is no longer necessary. [00:39:00] Resentments become the bridge into Step Four. [00:48:00] The Serenity Prayer becomes a tool for emotional disturbance and indecision. Arlina's Links 🌐 www.soberlifeschool.com 📸 Instagram: @arlinaallen | @odaatpodcast SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

    57 min
  3. Sonia Does The Steps: Step Two - A Higher Power

    Jun 1

    Sonia Does The Steps: Step Two - A Higher Power

    In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia takes on something she has circled for years: the 12 steps. After years of attending meetings here and there, interviewing addiction experts, and seeing the way the steps have changed people’s lives, she is finally stepping in. Joined by recovery coach, One Day at a Time podcast host, and The 12 Steps for Skeptics author Arlina Allen, Sonia explores Step Two through the lens of skepticism, spirituality, language, and lived recovery. The conversation opens with Sonia’s honest reaction to Step Two: “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Together, Sonia and Arlina unpack why words like sanity, insanity, God, and character defects can feel outdated or loaded, especially for people who understand addiction through trauma, mental health, coping mechanisms, and neuroscience. They also explore how to “take what you like and leave the rest,” why looking for similarities matters, and how a higher power can be understood in a way that feels personal, flexible, and grounded. Arlina helps reframe Step Two as less about dogma and more about willingness, support, outside perspective, and access to something beyond one’s own fear-based thinking. The episode touches on spirituality versus religion, the pause between impulse and reaction, emotional triggers, “first thought wrong,” and why the hard choice is often the right one. Sonia and Arlina also talk about synchronicity, awe, honesty, music, emotional avoidance, and how sobriety can make room for deeper joy, grief, intuition, and connection. In the personal story segment, Sonia shares how she is beginning to recognize her higher power in real life: in moments of synchronicity, in sober awe, and in choosing honesty. Arlina offers a beautiful reflection on how witnessing someone else heal can soften and heal something inside us, too. The conversation becomes both practical and deeply human—a bridge for anyone who has wanted the wisdom of the steps, but needed a way in that actually feels possible. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. [00:00:00] Sonia introduces the episode and shares why doing the 12 steps feels like a big deal. [00:02:00] Arlina Allen joins Sonia to begin exploring Step Two. [00:03:00] Sonia explains why the word “sanity” immediately brings up resistance. [00:05:00] Arlina reframes insanity as repeating the same pattern and expecting a different result. [00:06:00] Arlina explains Step Two as the beginning of needing help and outside perspective. [00:08:00] Sonia and Arlina discuss trauma, coping mechanisms, guilt, shame, and neuroscience. [00:10:00] Arlina talks about looking for similarities instead of differences in recovery literature. [00:12:00] Sonia shares the “Fred drinking whiskey in milk” moment that took her out of the Big Book. [00:14:00] Sonia explains how the 12 and 12 and Arlina’s homework softened her resistance. [00:16:00] Sonia describes her current concept of spirituality and a higher power. [00:18:00] Sonia reflects on reliance versus defiance and asking for guidance instead of control. [00:20:00] Arlina explains why surrender is not abdicating responsibility. [00:21:00] Sonia and Arlina explore the difference between impulse, instinct, and inner guidance. [00:23:00] Arlina discusses triggers, condescension, and the power of pausing before reacting. [00:30:00] Sonia shares the qualities she wants in a higher power. [00:32:00] Arlina tells a powerful story about synchronicity, grief, and a sobriety date. [00:40:00] Sonia describes sober awe, inspiration, and the return of her inner life. [00:43:00] Sonia connects higher power to the pause between impulse and reaction. [00:49:00] Sonia shares an emotional story about grief, love, and witnessing healing. [00:54:00] Arlina explains why avoiding pain also blocks joy, awe, and wonder. Arlina's Links 🌐 www.soberlifeschool.com 📸 Instagram: @arlinaallen | @odaatpodcast SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

    59 min
  4. Sonia Does the Steps: Step One, Powerlessness, and the 12 Steps for Skeptics

    May 25

    Sonia Does the Steps: Step One, Powerlessness, and the 12 Steps for Skeptics

    In this deeply personal first episode of a new Sisters in Sobriety series, Sonia begins something she has circled for years: working the 12 steps. Joined by Arlina Allen, recovery coach, host of the One Day at a Time podcast, and author of The 12 Steps for Skeptics, Sonia explores why she has always respected AA while still feeling hesitant to fully commit. Together, Sonia and Arlina open the door to Step One with honesty, curiosity, humor, and a modern lens for anyone who has ever wondered whether the steps could work for them. The conversation explores what it means to admit powerlessness over alcohol without collapsing into shame, why “unmanageable” does not always look like losing everything, and how women with high-functioning lives can still hit an emotional bottom. Sonia and Arlina talk about raising the bottom, separating the 12-step program from meeting culture, finding the right sponsor or guide, and why old recovery language can sometimes create resistance before people even get to the deeper wisdom underneath it. This episode breaks down Step One in a practical, accessible way: defining powerlessness and unmanageability, identifying patterns around moderation, understanding denial, and recognizing the difference between being sober and being emotionally sober. Arlina also explains why the steps are not just about quitting alcohol, but about self-honesty, accountability, nervous system regulation, recovery habits, and learning to meet the parts of ourselves we would rather avoid. Sonia also shares her own story of having what looked from the outside like a “silk sheet bottom”: a stable marriage, career success, financial security, and no dramatic external consequences. But inside, she was emotionally exhausted, self-loathing, and unable to keep the daily promise not to drink. Through Step One, she begins to see how alcohol had made her life unmanageable in quieter but powerful ways—and why this series may be less about joining a program perfectly and more about finally stepping inside the work. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Time-Stamped Highlights 00:00 Sonia introduces the new series and why she is finally choosing to work the 12 steps. 02:00 Arlina explains how she will guide Sonia through the steps using The 12 Steps for Skeptics. 03:00 Sonia shares why she has always “danced around” AA without fully committing. 04:00 The moment Sonia realized she could separate the 12-step program from meeting culture. 05:00 Arlina explains why the steps are an experience, not just words on a page. 07:00 Sonia opens up about the awkwardness of seeking a sponsor after years of sobriety. 08:00 Arlina explains why Sonia’s approach will be modified because she already has long-term sobriety. 09:00 Sonia reflects on being surprised by how much Step One had to offer. 10:00 The concept of “raising the bottom” helps Sonia reframe what recovery can look like. 11:00 Sonia describes having an emotional bottom even though her outside life looked stable. 12:00 Sonia shares how her brother’s AA experience planted the first seed that alcohol might be a problem. 14:00 Arlina clarifies that Step One means powerless over alcohol, not powerless over everything. 16:00 Sonia revisits Bill’s story with a more open mind than she had in the past. 18:00 Arlina introduces HOW: honest, open-minded, and willing. 21:00 Sonia and Arlina discuss finding similarities instead of differences in recovery stories. 23:00 Sonia defines powerlessness and unmanageability in her Step One homework. 24:00 Sonia shares the daily cycle of promising not to drink and drinking anyway. 26:00 Sonia connects deeply with the idea that when she enjoyed drinking, she could not control it. 28:00 Sonia questions whether rehashing old drinking stories is always helpful. 32:00 Arlina explains the difference between sobriety and recovery. 35:00 Sonia defines emotional sobriety as the ability to self-regulate without substances. 39:00 Sonia reflects on how drinking kept her from living in alignment with her values. 42:00 Sonia shares how sobriety helped her rediscover books, creativity, and her real personality. 45:00 Arlina explains how recovery asks people to love the parts of themselves they usually reject. 47:00 Sonia considers trying a women’s step study meeting as part of her homework. 48:00 Arlina gives Sonia the reading assignment for Step Two and they close the episode Arlina's Links 🌐 www.soberlifeschool.com 📸 Instagram: @arlinaallen | @odaatpodcast SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

    50 min
  5. The Recovery Conversation That Challenges Everything With Richard Taite

    May 18

    The Recovery Conversation That Challenges Everything With Richard Taite

    In this episode, Sonia sits down with Richard Taite to talk about addiction, trauma, treatment, emotional sobriety, self-love, and what it really takes to build a life that feels worth staying present for. They explore Richard’s decades of experience as an addiction treatment entrepreneur, recovery advocate, founder of Cliffside Malibu and Carrera Treatment, and host of the mental health podcast We’re Out of Time. Richard also opens up about his own history with addiction, childhood trauma, homelessness, long-term recovery, and his controversial view that some people can transcend addiction after doing deep, sustained work. The conversation moves through some big questions: Is addiction always a lifelong identity? What does it mean to truly recover versus simply stop using? How does childhood trauma become the emotional engine behind substance use disorder? Sonia and Richard also discuss AA, therapy, treatment centers, the fentanyl crisis, emotional sobriety, reparenting, and why “getting sober” is only one part of the work. Richard challenges familiar recovery language while still crediting AA as a foundation in his own life, making space for a more nuanced conversation about addiction recovery, identity, and healing. Richard explains why therapy has been central to his recovery, how shame forms in childhood, and why so many people carry a “bad kid” narrative into adulthood. He shares his belief that self-care can become self-esteem, and self-esteem can become self-love—especially when recovery expands beyond abstinence into purpose, parenting, relationships, physical health, and joy. The episode also looks at what effective addiction treatment should include today, why therapeutic fit matters, and how families may need to think differently about drugs, alcohol, opioids, and fentanyl in the current recovery landscape. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.   Highlights [00:01:00] Richard corrects the record about his sobriety and explains why he no longer identifies as sober. [00:02:00] Richard describes what he means by “transcending addiction.” [00:03:00] He shares the Michelin-star wine-pairing moment that showed him his relationship with alcohol had changed. [00:04:00] Sonia asks whether his shift happened suddenly or slowly over time. [00:05:00] Richard explains why thriving matters after getting sober. [00:07:00] Sonia asks how his current relationship with alcohol differs from active addiction. [00:08:00] Richard opens up about becoming a father and losing the fantasy of eventually getting loaded again. [00:10:00] Sonia asks whether fatherhood pushed him into deeper emotional sobriety work. [00:11:00] Richard talks about being in therapy for much of his recovery. [00:12:00] Richard shares the therapy moment that helped him understand he was never “a bad kid.” [00:14:00] He explains how childhood shame can keep running the adult life. [00:16:00] Sonia and Richard discuss childhood trauma as a root driver of addiction. [00:18:00] Richard challenges the idea that one first drink automatically explains addiction. [00:19:00] He talks about AA as a foundation while also questioning rigid recovery identities. [00:21:00] Richard explains why he sees AA as support, not treatment. [00:23:00] He connects self-care, self-esteem, and self-love. [00:27:00] Richard explains why treatment should feel like care, not punishment. [00:32:00] Sonia asks how fentanyl changed the addiction treatment landscape. [00:34:00] Richard shares the overdose death that brought him back into treatment work. [00:40:00] Richard describes how he talks to his son about pills, powders, fentanyl, and peer pressure. [00:45:00] Sonia asks what families should look for in a recovery center today. [00:50:00] Richard closes with a message of hope for anyone afraid to ask for help.   Richard's Links https://www.instagram.com/richardtaiteofficial/ https://carraratreatment.com/author/richard/  SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

    52 min
  6. What Do You Do for Fun When You Stop Drinking With Amy Tangerine

    May 11

    What Do You Do for Fun When You Stop Drinking With Amy Tangerine

    Creativity isn’t just a hobby—it can be a sobriety tool, a self-care practice, and a way back to the parts of ourselves we forgot. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen explore how play, journaling, memory keeping, and hands-on creativity can help women rebuild identity and joy after alcohol. Sonia is joined by Amy Tangerine, a designer, author, creative director, memory keeper, and founder of a colorful creative brand that has inspired hundreds of thousands of people to reconnect with imagination, craft, and permission to play. The conversation opens up the question of what happens when drinking used to be the “play hard” part of life—and what it means to redefine fun in sobriety. Sonia and Amy talk about childhood creativity, cozy hobbies, scrapbooking, junk journaling, reading, Legos, collecting, and why many adults dismiss the very activities that once made them feel alive. They also explore how high-achieving women can struggle to do something without measuring it, monetizing it, or turning it into another task. Amy shares how creative flow can become a grounding practice, especially for people who feel anxious, overworked, disconnected, or unsure of who they are without alcohol. The episode covers memory keeping, analog journaling, vision boards, tactile creativity, pen-to-paper reflection, creative self-care, inner child work, and the difference between creating for an outcome versus creating for the process. Amy also talks about “taking your rage out on the page,” using journaling to process emotions, and building small systems that make creativity possible in 10- to 15-minute pockets. In the personal story segment, Amy opens up about being raised by immigrant parents, her early love of stickers, crayons, journals, and magazines, her transition from fashion into scrapbooking, and the burnout that pushed her to rethink success. She also shares the deeply personal role vision boards played during her miscarriages, how creativity helped her imagine and accept a different version of family, and how manifesting, aligned action, and self-belief shaped her life. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.   Highlights 00:00 Welcome to Sisters in Sobriety with Amy Tangerine 01:00 Amy’s earliest creative sparks: crayons, stickers, journals, and crafts 02:00 From fashion design to scrapbooking and memory keeping 03:00 The Hello Kitty journal that started Amy’s diary practice 04:00 Why Amy blended memoir and guidance in Craft a Life You Love 05:00 Why hobbies matter more than people think 06:00 Taking 15 minutes for creativity without explaining it to anyone 07:00 Amy’s immigrant parents and the freedom to follow what made her happy 09:00 Creativity as a way to design a more intentional life 10:00 Creative flow, harmony, and coming back to yourself 11:00 Collage as comfort during family stress and grief 13:00 Redefining play when drinking used to be the recreational hobby 14:00 Returning to the activities that brought joy in childhood 15:00 Sonia on rediscovering reading in sobriety 16:00 Legos, collecting, and childhood hobbies as adult comfort 18:00 Junk journaling and the return to analog creativity 20:00 What happens emotionally when people enter a playful state 21:00 Giving yourself permission to create in small pockets of time 23:00 Letting go of metrics, productivity, and the pressure of an end product 25:00 Pen-to-paper journaling versus digital memory keeping 27:00 Balancing AI tools, metrics, and the need for handwriting 30:00 What memory keeping really means 31:00 “Take your rage out on the page” as emotional release 34:00 Pickleball, anger, and accessing different parts of the self 35:00 Simple ways to incorporate photos, planners, and everyday memories 37:00 Why memory keeping does not have to be chronological 39:00 Vision boards, self-belief, and “what I desire is what I deserve” 42:00 Manifesting, higher power, and aligned action 47:00 Amy’s products, printables, stickers, and ways to get started creatively Amy's Links   http://www.amytangerine.com/ https://www.instagram.com/amytangerine/   SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

    51 min
  7. Powerless or in Control: Rethinking Addiction Recovery with Dr. Daniel Hochman

    May 4

    Powerless or in Control: Rethinking Addiction Recovery with Dr. Daniel Hochman

    Sonia sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Hochman for a candid, nuanced conversation on addiction, recovery, and what actually works in the real world in this episode of Sisters in Sobriety. Daniel Hochman, is a board-certified psychiatrist and creator of Self Recovery, an online program helping people address substance and behavioral addictions through a science-based, psychologically informed approach that prioritizes privacy, agency, and emotional understanding. The conversation explores the limits of traditional recovery models, including where 12-step programs can feel outdated or incomplete, and why concepts like “powerlessness” may actually undermine long-term change. Sonia and Dr. Hochman dig into questions around agency vs. external control, whether addiction is a disease or learned behavior, and how approaches like urge surfing, emotional regulation, and behavioral strategies fit into recovery. They also examine the role of medication like Antabuse and naltrexone, the rise of alternative recovery models, and how high-achieving individuals experience addiction differently. Dr. Hochman reframes addiction as a response to “intolerable emotions,” highlighting how anxiety, dissatisfaction, and internal conflict can quietly drive addictive behaviors. He introduces a practical framework—moving from underlying distress to cravings to action—and explains how different “points of attack” can interrupt that cycle.  As the conversation unfolds, Sonia shares her own experience navigating sobriety outside of traditional systems, including her curiosity about the 12 steps and her journey into emotional sobriety. The episode shifts into a more personal exploration of identity—especially for high achievers whose self-worth is tied to performance—and what it looks like to rebuild a sense of self without alcohol. Through this lens, recovery becomes less about restriction and more about rediscovery, experimentation, and learning how to sit with discomfort rather than escape it. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights [00:00] Introduction to Dr. Daniel Hochman and Self Recovery [01:00] Why willpower isn’t enough in addiction recovery [02:00] What a psychiatrist actually does in addiction treatment [03:00] Early exposure to rehab systems and gaps in care [04:00] Problems within the addiction treatment industry [05:00] The role of untrained providers in recovery spaces [06:00] Sonia’s experience exploring the 12 steps [07:00] “Powerlessness” and the problem with vague frameworks [09:00] Locus of control and reclaiming agency in recovery [12:00] Why vague advice like “try harder” doesn’t work [14:00] What traditional recovery models get right—and wrong [16:00] Why addiction science hasn’t been fully integrated into AA [18:00] Addiction as a response to underlying emotional distress [20:00] Trauma, boredom, dissatisfaction, and hidden drivers [22:00] The “current” model: from pain to craving to action [24:00] Urge surfing and behavioral tools for early sobriety [26:00] Why deep emotional work shouldn’t come first [28:00] Limitations of CBT and surface-level therapy [30:00] Inside the Self Recovery program framework [33:00] Sobriety vs. moderation: choosing your own path [36:00] Medications in recovery: Antabuse vs. naltrexone [41:00] High achievers, identity, and addiction patterns [45:00] Rebuilding a sense of self beyond achievement [49:00] Rediscovering hobbies, curiosity, and joy in sobriety [51:00] One simple awareness practice to start changing behavior Dr. Hochman's Links Self Recovery's Website: https://www.selfrecovery.org/ Self Recovery's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfrecoveryhealth/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

    54 min
  8. The Hungry Ghost Effect: Why Nothing Ever Feels Like Enough in Addiction With Jeremy L

    Apr 27

    The Hungry Ghost Effect: Why Nothing Ever Feels Like Enough in Addiction With Jeremy L

    Sonia sits down with Jeremy Lipkowitz to unpack addiction, dopamine, and the hidden patterns behind compulsive behaviors—from alcohol to everyday habits. They dive into the questions most people avoid: What actually drives compulsive behavior? Why does dopamine keep us chasing more instead of feeling satisfied? How do perfectionism, shame, and high achievement intersect with addiction? And what happens when we swap one coping mechanism for another—alcohol for work, porn, social media, or even productivity? They also explore how habits quietly escalate and how identity becomes entangled in addiction. Jeremy breaks down neuroplasticity and how repeated behaviors wire the brain, reinforcing cycles of craving and avoidance. He reframes dopamine as the chemical of wanting—not pleasure—and explains how this fuels the loop of desire. The conversation introduces tools like urge surfing, mindfulness, and creating space between stimulus and response, alongside a deeper look at emotional avoidance, shame, and the “hungry ghost” cycle of never feeling like enough. They also demystify meditation—what it actually is, and how to practice it without perfection. The episode also traces Jeremy’s personal turning point—from a high-achieving student battling insecurity and compulsive behaviors to discovering meditation and a new definition of fulfillment. As Sonia reflects on her own patterns in real time, the conversation becomes a powerful example of what it looks like to pause, notice, and choose differently. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. TIME-STAMPED HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 – Introduction to Jeremy Lipkowitz and his work in addiction recovery 01:30 – Jeremy’s early struggles with insecurity and addiction 03:45 – Realizing the path he was on wasn’t leading to happiness 06:15 – Why success didn’t translate into fulfillment 08:00 – Neuroplasticity and how habits shape the brain 10:30 – Dopamine explained: wanting vs. liking 12:45 – How addiction escalates over time 14:30 – Addiction as emotional avoidance 16:10 – Why we struggle with boredom and discomfort 17:45 – Identity and shame in addiction 20:00 – Rationalizing harmful behaviors 21:30 – Addiction as a universal pattern 23:00 – The “dry drunk” concept and root causes 24:30 – Healthier vs. harmful coping mechanisms 26:00 – Recognizing subtle compulsions 28:15 – What urge surfing is 31:00 – Creating space before reacting 34:00 – Building mindfulness as a skill 37:00 – Meditation myths and perfectionism 41:30 – Different types of meditation 45:00 – Mindfulness in everyday life 49:00 – Perfectionism as addiction 52:00 – The “hungry ghost” mindset 55:30 – Sonia’s real-time habit awareness 58:30 – Learning to sit with boredom 01:02:00 – Why abstinence can help moderation 01:06:00 – How subtle habits take hold 01:09:00 – Finding freedom from external validation Jeremy's Links Podcast: https://unhooked.buzzsprout.com/ Website: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremylipkowitz/   SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

    1h 11m
See All (158)

Trailer

4.9
out of 5
34 Ratings

About

You know that sinking feeling when you wake up with a hangover and think: “I’m never doing this again”? We’ve all been there. But what happens when you follow through? Sonia Kahlon and Kathleen Killen can tell you, because they did it! They went from sisters-in-law, to Sisters in Sobriety. In this podcast, Sonia and Kathleen invite you into their world, as they navigate the ups and downs of sobriety, explore stories of personal growth and share their journey of wellness and recovery. Get ready for some real, honest conversations about sobriety, addiction, and everything in between. Episodes will cover topics such as: reaching emotional sobriety, how to make the decision to get sober, adopting a more mindful lifestyle, socializing without alcohol, and much more. Whether you’re sober-curious, seeking inspiration and self-care through sobriety, or embracing the alcohol-free lifestyle already… Tune in for a weekly dose of vulnerability, mutual support and much needed comic relief. Together...

Information

  • Creator
    Sonia Kahlon and Kathleen Killen
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    158
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Sisters In Sobriety
  • Show Website
    Sisters In Sobriety

You Might Also Like