Frustrated And Exhausted

Ruth Wood
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Welcome to 'Frustrated and Exhausted,' a podcast for women in leadership! I'm Ruth Wood, a leadership coach for women, and I’m here to help you navigate life without feeling overwhelmed. This podcast is for you if you're tired of juggling so many things. Here, I'll share experiences, tips, and practical ways to find balance and thrive in leadership without sacrificing your sanity.

  1. FEB 11

    When Leaders Mean Well

    In this episode I explore a tough but hopeful topic: why trust can erode in organizations even when leaders have the best intentions. Drawing from real conversations and coaching experiences with senior leaders, the episode unpacks the difference between a leader’s intent and the reality employees experience on the ground. Intent vs. Impact: Good intent is important, but employees don’t experience their leaders’ intentions—they experience systems, responses, and the outcomes of their actions. Trust is built (or eroded) not by what leaders say, but by what happens next. How Trust Erodes Quietly: Trust usually doesn’t break down with drama or scandals, but through small moments—unaddressed challenges, reversed decisions without explanation, or promises of openness that aren’t followed through on. Systems Over Intent: In pressured environments, what actually gets rewarded or discouraged in a system shapes behavior more than stated values or intentions. People adapt to stay safe, which can lead to silence and withdrawal instead of genuine trust. The Cost of Unseen Systems: When leaders aren’t aware of the behavioral patterns their systems create, they might mistake quiet for trust when in reality it’s withdrawal and disengagement. The grief for lost potential and silenced talent can be deeply felt on a personal level. Gaining Visibility: The real turning point is for leaders to honestly examine which behaviors are being rewarded, which carry risks, and what truly happens after challenge or dissent. Visibility (not just motivation or capability) is key to changing the culture. Building Trust through Action: Trustworthiness isn’t an inherent personality trait—it’s experienced through systems, responses, and consistent consequences, especially under pressure. Leaders are encouraged to reflect not just on their intent, but also on the actual impact they have. Reflection Questions for LeadersWhat behaviors are you truly rewarding—and which ones are risky in your system?What really happens after someone challenges or disagrees?Are you seeing quiet as trust, or could it be a sign of something else? Reach out on LinkedIn for further discussion and support. If you’re still showing up in spaces that weren’t built for you—keep going, you’re seen. Tune in next week for more insight into women, career, and leadership, with a focus on well-being and ambition. Connect with Ruth: Instagram LinkedIn  Website

    11 min

  2. FEB 4

    Too Nice to Trust?

    Welcome to Frustrated and Exhausted, In this episode, we dig into an important leadership topic: the difference between genuine trust and simply being “nice” within senior teams. Why do so many organizations confuse harmony and collegiality with real, risk-taking trust, and what does this confusion cost? Trust vs. Niceness Why being “nice” and avoiding conflict isn’t the same as building trust. Teams that focus on harmony can appear healthy but often avoid dealing with real issues, leading to fragility beneath the surface. Avoidance and Its Pitfalls Many teams soften difficult issues, delay challenges, and gloss over tensions rather than confronting them head-on. This kind of “pleasantness” promotes self-protection instead of collaboration. Impact on Women in Leadership The episode highlights how women—especially those seen as “strong” or “direct”—feel increased pressure to remain palatable, adding emotional labor and silencing valuable opinions. These dynamics can discourage honest contributions from everyone. Psychological Safety & Healthy Conflict Drawing on Amy Edmondson’s research, It explain that top-performing teams don’t avoid conflict; they surface, work through, and repair it. True psychological safety is about fairness and predictability, not constant comfort. How to Build Trust Through Challenge Tips for teams include naming disagreements early, staying curious (not defensive), and returning to repair after conflict. Clearing the air, owning your impact, and addressing tension directly helps strengthen relationships and trust. What Teams Miss Out On When people disengage because “niceness” is prioritized, organizations lose out on true expertise, clarity, and energy—even if the atmosphere feels superficially pleasant. If your team feels “pleasant but stuck,” consider what’s being protected—and at what cost. Ask yourself whether your workplace is fostering true trust or simply smoothing over discomfort. Thanks for tuning in to Frustrated and Exhausted. Don’t miss next week’s episode! Connect with Ruth: Instagram LinkedIn  Website

    11 min

  3. JAN 28

    Why Leaders Avoid Clarity

    Welcome back to another episode of Frustrated and Exhausted. In this episode, I dive deep into the reasons why leaders often shy away from clarity—and the real costs this can have on teams and organizations. Clarity vs. Certainty: I explain how clarity is often mistaken for certainty or the illusion of having all the answers. Instead, clarity is really about reducing unnecessary anxiety by being transparent about what’s known, what’s unknown, and who makes decisions.Why Leaders Avoid Clarity: Avoiding clarity is rarely accidental. Sometimes, leaders use vagueness as a form of protection, keeping accountability diffuse and leaving room to maneuver. But this actually creates unpredictability that can erode trust within teams.The Real Cost of Vagueness: When communication is fuzzy, people fill in the gaps with their own stories and assumptions—which often leads to rumors, defensiveness, and a sense of instability in the workplace.Trust and Psychological Safety: How trust doesn’t erode due to lack of integrity, but rather when people can’t reliably predict how decisions are made and issues are handled. This unpredictability leads to stress and hyper-vigilance, not because people are naturally anxious, but because the environment demands it.Handling Uncertainty: Research shows that uncertainty itself isn’t the biggest driver of stress; uncertainty without explanation is. Being honest about what’s unclear is far better than offering meaningless reassurances. Notice where a lack of clarity might be doing more harm than uncertainty itself in your work or life. What small changes in transparency could make things better for your team? If you found this episode resonated with you or shifted your perspective on leadership, don’t forget to share and subscribe for more empowering conversations every week. Connect with Ruth: Instagram LinkedIn  Website

    12 min

  4. JAN 21

    Pointless Leadership Conversations

    Welcome back to Frustrated and Exhausted! In this insightful episode, I dive into the reality behind those endlessly repetitive leadership conversations that never seem to spark real change. If you’ve ever left a meeting feeling like “everything was said but nothing changed,” this one’s for you. Why so many leadership conversations feel unsatisfying and unproductive.The difference between stated values (“espoused theory”) and the lived reality (“theory in use”)—and how this gap erodes trust.How surface-level talks and reluctance to address core issues feed organizational ambiguity and exhaustion.The hidden impact of unspoken power dynamics, unresolved tensions, and unclear decision rights.Why inspirational words from leadership aren’t enough—change comes from consistency, clarity, and actually following through.The psychological toll of environments where honest dialogue is discouraged, leading people to disengage and comply instead of contribute.Strategies to break the cycle: embracing messier, more courageous conversations to address the real drivers of frustration and stagnation. Real organizational change happens not through another round of agreement on values, but through honest, ongoing conversations about what really shapes behavior—and the courage and consistency to do something about it. Thanks for tuning in. If you’re tired of pointless conversations and want more clarity (and less exhaustion) in your leadership journey, this episode is a must-listen! Connect with Ruth: Instagram LinkedIn  Website

    12 min

  5. JAN 14

    Belonging Is A Performance Issue

    In this episode, I explore the often-overlooked connection between belonging and performance at work. Rather than framing belonging as something "nice" or optional, I make the case that real belonging is foundational for teams and organizations to function at their best. Belonging’s Branding Problem: How belonging has been misunderstood as comfort or indulgence, rather than a core driver of decision-making and leadership.Performance Erosion: When belonging is missing, teams don’t collapse, but performance slowly ebbs away through slower decisions, less challenge, and increased impression management.Belonging vs. Fitting In: The difference between psychological safety (belonging) and self-editing (fitting in), and how women and minoritized groups often feel pressured to conform.Trust and Safety: Without trust, people won’t challenge or share fully — what looks like disengagement might really be self-preservation.Real-Life Signals: Flat leadership meetings, agreement in the room but dissent in the corridors, and “niceness” that masks lack of real challenge.Conditional Belonging: Particularly for those who are “different” in some way, belonging often depends on fitting in, leading to adaptation and energy spent on self-management.Project Aristotle (Google Study): Psychological safety (not talent or workload) drives high-performing teams — illustrating belonging in practical terms.Leadership Implications: Belonging is shown not by politeness or lack of conflict, but by the quality and openness of contributions.Moving Beyond Slogans: True belonging is created by consistent conditions, not catchphrases (“bring your whole self to work”). If this episode sparked something for you — challenged, reassured, or made you feel less alone — I would love to hear your thoughts or stories! Thanks for tuning in. Keep going, especially if you’re showing up in spaces that weren’t built for you. Connect with Ruth: Instagram LinkedIn  Website

    12 min

  6. JAN 7

    Living With The Cost Of Unreliable Leadership

    In this episode of Frustrated and Exhausted, Speaker I dive into the powerful topic of how unreliable leadership impacts women, their well-being, and their performance at work. Instead of focusing on personal shortcomings, I challenge the common narrative around burnout and exhaustion, encouraging listeners to look at the environments and conditions that drive these feelings. A Different View on Burnout:Eexplain that chronic exhaustion isn’t always about individual resilience or personal flaws. Instead, it’s often a normal response to unpredictable, unreliable, and unsupportive work environments.The Impact of Leadership:The conversation highlights how inconsistent communication, shifting priorities, and a lack of transparency from leaders can leave teams feeling exhausted and on edge—even when leaders don’t intend harm.Research on Psychological Safety:Referencing Amy Edmondson’s work, the episode discusses how low psychological safety in a workplace can suppress openness, making employees hide mistakes rather than seek support, ultimately harming performance and engagement.Internalizing Systemic Problems:The episode acknowledges that high-performing women often internalize systemic issues, believing they’re at fault and that self-improvement alone is the solution—even when the real issue is the broader environment.Questions Leaders Should Ask:Calls on leaders to look beyond individual performance and to ask more insightful questions: What are people in my team actually adapting to? What conditions do they face each day?Building Trust & Performance:By fostering trust, belonging, and a culture of honesty, organizations can move away from blame and toward higher energy, engagement, and real performance. Connect with the show: Have thoughts, questions, or stories to share? Get in touch via LinkedIn or visit resonateleadership.co.uk. Your experiences matter! Thanks for tuning in. If this episode resonates with you, remember—you’re not alone, and it’s not just you. Keep going! Connect with Ruth: Instagram LinkedIn  Website

    12 min

  7. 12/31/2025

    The Year We Carried

    In this reflective year-end episode, I take listeners on a gentle pause to sit with the reality of the year they've just carried. It's not the polished, social-media version of the year, but an honest look at what women, especially in leadership and career spaces, have held—often invisibly. From emotional loads and endless mental tabs to the weight of responsibilities, self-doubt, and cultural change, this episode speaks directly to those feeling stretched and tired. What We Carried: The high expectations, emotional labor, unending mental lists, unclaimed responsibilities, and even self-doubt—all these made the year heavier than most realize. What It Cost Us: Rest, clarity, confidence, joy, boundaries, parts of our identity, and sometimes our own breathing space suffered under the weight of all that carrying. Compassion for Ourselves: Resonate Leadership Podcast Host reassures listeners: fatigue hasn’t come from weakness, but from holding too much, for too long. Lessons Learned: This year revealed our limits, the importance of belonging, the exhaustion of masking, and the difference between performing strength and true strength. It taught us who supports us—and who only sees the results. What to Put Down: Before the new year, listeners are encouraged to shed burdens they don’t need to carry: the pressure to always be available, the belief they must earn rest, invisible emotional labor, guilt for saying no, and the need for constant competence. What to Welcome: By putting some things down, we make space to pick up new boundaries, honest joy, real belonging, supportive communities, and permission to be unapologetically ourselves. Takeaways: Leadership is human work—messy, emotional, relational, systemic.Rest is not something to be earned; it’s something we deserve.Putting down unnecessary loads makes space for renewal.The hard year does not define your worth or strength—your continued showing up does. Thanks for being part of Frustrated and Exhausted this year. Here’s to the reset you need and deserve! Connect with Ruth: Instagram LinkedIn  Website

    11 min

  8. 12/24/2025

    The Permission Slip

    Welcome to "Frustrated and Exhausted, a podcast dedicated to empowering women in their careers and leadership journeys without compromising well-being or sanity. In this heartfelt holiday episode, Resonate Leadership I offer listeners a gentle, much-needed "permission slip" for Christmas Eve—a reminder that self-care is just as important as caring for others. It’s an invitation to pause, rest, and release the weight of perfectionism, especially as the year comes to a close. Key Themes: Permission Granted: You don't have to finish every task or reflect on every goal tonight. The to-do lists and intentions can wait.Feel Your Feelings: However you feel right now—whether joyful, tired, overwhelmed, or peaceful—is valid. There are no "shoulds" here.Lower the Bar: Good enough is genuinely good enough, especially during the festive season.Rest Without Earning It: Rest is a biological need—not something you have to earn through productivity.Belong to Yourself First: Amidst taking care of others, remember to show up for yourself, whether that means a quiet moment alone or simply saying no.Put Down Responsibility: Especially if you’re the household planner, fixer, or emotional anchor—you’re allowed to set some of that burden down, even just for tonight.Slow Your Pace: Pause, breathe, and ask yourself what you truly need right now. You’ve carried a lot this year—often more than anyone sees or even than you admit to yourself. Tonight, you have full permission to put some of it down, rest, and extend kindness to yourself. Your gift this Christmas Eve is the smallest, most realistic act of care for yourself. Share your thoughts or stories via LinkedIn or learn more at resonateleadership.co.uk. Rest well, be gentle with yourself, and remember—you’re not alone in how you feel. Thank you for listening! Wishing you a Merry Christmas and gentle self-care. Connect with Ruth: Instagram LinkedIn  Website

    7 min
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About

Welcome to 'Frustrated and Exhausted,' a podcast for women in leadership! I'm Ruth Wood, a leadership coach for women, and I’m here to help you navigate life without feeling overwhelmed. This podcast is for you if you're tired of juggling so many things. Here, I'll share experiences, tips, and practical ways to find balance and thrive in leadership without sacrificing your sanity.

Information

  • Creator
    Ruth Wood
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    119
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Ruth Wood
  • Show Website
    Frustrated And Exhausted