You know that person who can walk into a room and irritate you before they've said a word? A two-word text, and you've already written a six-paragraph response in your head. We've all got one. So here's my question: What if that person isn't actually the problem? Or at least not the whole problem? My guest, Sam Osborne, has spent decades studying exactly that. Connection is easy to talk about when we like each other. The real test is what happens when we don't. IN THIS EPISODE Why Sam's business card has a photo of his injured eye, and what it taught him: the brain fills the gaps The hidden cost of losing your composure (you can't unring that bell) Why you actually want an equal amount of support and challenge in your life The first step of the Demartini Method: name the trigger in three or four specific words. No story, no drama, no labels. How a lawyer used Sam's method before walking into court with the one guy who knows how to push his buttons What appreciation actually means (it's not what you think) My challenge for you: What have you decided is true about the person who gets under your skin? KEY TAKEAWAYS Your brain fills in the gaps. You're not always seeing exactly what's in front of you. Get specific. "They're cruel" keeps you triggered. "Tuesday at 4 p.m., they interrupted me" calms you down. You're not erasing the costs. You're finding the benefits that balance them. Sometimes the box that needs flipping is the one we've put somebody else in. THE FLIP 50 50 leaders. Five cities: Seattle, Chicago, New York, Nashville, and Dallas. 10 leaders at each dinner, then 50 days of putting the Flip the Box method into practice. Request a seat or nominate a leader at sharileid.com/flip-50. COMING FEBRUARY 2027 My fifth book. You'll hear it here first. ABOUT SAM Sam Osborne is a speaker, author of about seven books, former high school teacher, and trained facilitator of the Demartini Method, developed by Dr. John Demartini, with whom Sam trains twice a year. He works with attorneys, advisors, executives, and sales teams on conflict, triggers, and composure, and delivers his program The Conflict Advantage as a keynote, breakout, half-day workshop, sales kickoff, and small-group or individual leadership advisory. His most recent book is How to Beat Imposter Syndrome and Be Confident. Coming next: The Conflict Advantage: Own the Trigger, Own the Room. CONNECT WITH SAM samosborne.net Instagram and TikTok: @sam.osborne.speaker LINKS & RESOURCES Flip the Box® with Shari Leid is for leaders and entrepreneurs who've built something impressive and still feel disconnected underneath it all. Each week, TEDx speaker, 4x author, and connection coach Shari Leid helps you connect to yourself, your career, and your community using the Flip the Box® framework, a four-step method for building real connection in any room, in sixty seconds or less. CONNECT WITH SHARI Website YouTube Instagram To work with Shari, visit www.sharileid.com The Flip 50: https://sharileid.com/flip-50/ For media inquiries, contact Kourtney Jason at Kourtney@pacificandcourt.com For speaking engagements, contact AAE Speakers Bureau or email info@sharileid.com Download the free Connection Audit App, a practical tool for evaluating and strengthening the quality of your personal and professional relationships. Music by Viacheslav Starostin from Pixabay
