The Time Traveler's Guide to NOT Getting Caught The Time Traveler's Guide to NOT Getting Caught
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This is the story of how I found a time traveling watch behind a dumpster and my subsequent adventures through time as I make the world a better place...for me...and sometimes for other people as well...I mean, I have no doubt other people also benefited from the changes I made, so in some ways, it's kind of the story of how I became the greatest hero of all time...as well as a guide for any of you who might wind up finding a time machine and becoming a time traveler.
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Ch 24: That Time I Met Jesus
Yes, it's true, I had wild sex with a Native American who was most definitely not super old, and it was awesome! All in all, my trip to Plymouth Plantation was a success, seeing as how I got a free meal and had some wild sex. But after the debauchery that took place in Puritan times, future me and present me felt like we needed to cleanse our soul, and so we decided to go back and meet Jesus.
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Ch 23: That Time I Went to the First Thanksgiving and Had Sex with an Indian
Finally, Alvie was brought to justice! Now, I know abandoning someone back in Ancient Pompeii before a volcano wipes out the entire town might sound cruel, but you gotta remember, this guy abandoned me on the Titanic...AND, his name's Alvie! ALVIE!! Anyway, even though we made our nemesis pay for his betrayal and we could've just gone home to watch iCarly, me and my future self still wanted to enjoy the very first Thanksgiving meal and also, make sweet, passionate and unselfish sex to the hot pilgrim. And so, we returned to Plymouth Plantation!
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Ch 22: That Time I Went Back to Plymouth Plantation to Paint Alvie's Face
It was time. Time for us to go back to the very first Thanksgiving and get my watch back from Alvie. Yes I know, it meant I had to go back to colonial America AGAIN, but despite the time period sucking, I was looking forward to a great meal and Alvie's great reckoning. Spoiler alert: I wind up getting my watch back...oh you don't like spoilers? Then why're you even reading these synopses?
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Ch 21: That Time I Met My Future Self
OMG, my future self who was 10 years older came back and rescued me from a miserable life being trapped in the past. And, if I may say, I was looking quite hot in my middle age. Me and myself wanted to do nothing more than bring Alvie to justice and reclaim my time traveling watch, but we both decided that first, we should go to a club and pick up a hot lady!
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Ch 20: Okay let's get this restarted
Well, I was screwed. Not only was I stuck on the Titanic as it hit an iceberg, but I was also feeling super emasculated being held down by the two Alvies and getting my time traveling watch stolen from me. But all was not lost. I could still find a way to survive this whole ordeal, but in order for me to somehow get back to the present, I would first need to get on a lifeboat. But how...
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Ch 19: That Time I was on the Maiden Voyage of the Titanic
Yes it's true, I had a threesome in 1944 Los Angeles, and it was as amazing as it sounds. It was so great that I had an immediate urge to share my story, and so I decided to meet up with my time traveling buddy and tell him all about it which meant, it was time to go on the Titanic. This was a doozy of a trip, and yes, I'm using the word doozy now. Do I use a lot of James Cameron Titanic references in this chapter? Yes. Do the James Cameron Titanic references ever get old? No. Do I enjoy asking myself questions in the episode synopsis? Yes.
Customer Reviews
Interesting
It’s unexpected to say the least. I have no idea how I found this podcast but I’m enjoying it. It gives me ideas and suggestions on what to do when randomly find a time travel device. There are times when I can’t stop laughing at the absurd scenarios with historical figures.
With all that said, the latest episodes are now just how to get laid, which is a funny concept but now it has become the central theme which is becoming annoying. Make sure to time travel with some penicillin and make more routine stops for STD tests than tacos.
Very funny!
Episode two won me over with the Porto-potty story and the fart sounds. That’s definitely the sort of sense of humor one needs to enjoy this podcast. It cracks me up and is a nice break from all the horror and murder stories I usually listen to on my way to work.
Time to reassess
The first half of season one was great. Started going downhill. Now the storyline spends too much time on selfishness and selfcentered insecurities.
You are repeating subjects of “costume rental” and following your older self. Episode 22 has a storyline where you focus on measuring up to the judgement of your future self.
If the show doesn’t get better by episode 25 or 26, I will delete on favor or back episodes of other shows.
Reflection: At the beginning you were causing havoc in historic events beyond chasing 1-2 girls. There are so many opportunities, for large and small disruptions and escapades.
Steve Berry has a great novel series. Where he does that. I wish you were 10% more like that, and retained most of your adolescent drivers,humor.