The Teachable Woman PodcastThe Approach: Character Before CostIntroductionWelcome back to the Teachable Woman Podcast, where Reverend Michele Owes and Reverend Diana P. Cherry continue their commitment to being “Teachers of Good Things.” Although the two hosts are recording from different locations in this episode, they emphasize that they remain united in their attitudes, actions, hearts, and desire to teach women and men according to biblical principles. Building on their previous conversation about “The Approach,” the hosts address a troubling dating expectation they have heard from young adults: the idea that a man should pay for a woman’s hair, nails, clothing, childcare, or other personal expenses before he can simply meet her for a cup of coffee. They also discuss the growing tendency to evaluate potential relationships according to income, real estate, investments, and financial status rather than character, conduct, and commitment. With honesty, love, humor, personal experience, and biblical instruction, Michele and Diana challenge listeners to examine their expectations, take responsibility for themselves, respect others, and trust God rather than attempting to obtain blessings through another person. 1. Are We Looking for Character or What Someone Can Buy?The conversation begins with the hosts addressing the expectation that a man should finance a woman’s preparation before a first meeting. Hair, nails, clothing, childcare, and other expenses should not become the price of admission for someone simply wanting to get to know you. The hosts question the heart behind such expectations. Are we interested in the person, or are we interested in what the person can provide? Diana emphasizes that a woman should never see herself as something that can be purchased. Michele points listeners back toward evaluating character, conduct, and commitment rather than financial status. 2. A Woman Should Know Her WorthDiana shares personal experiences from her younger years and explains that she has always valued independence and responsibility. She recalls an occasion when her future husband left money to pay an electric bill he had seen in her home. Rather than accepting the money, she told him she was capable of paying her own bill. Her point is not that people should never help one another. Instead, she challenges the mindset of expecting someone else to carry responsibilities that belong to us. The hosts remind women that their value does not come from what a man can purchase for them. They point to the biblical picture of a woman whose “price is far above rubies” and challenge women not to compromise their dignity for material benefits. 3. The Wise Woman Builds—She Doesn't Tear DownMichele connects the discussion to Proverbs and the biblical principle that a wise woman builds her house while a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. The hosts explain that demanding that someone else finance your appearance, childcare, or personal needs before even getting to know you can destroy an opportunity before it begins. They encourage women to take care of themselves. Personal grooming, appearance, responsibilities, and everyday needs should not automatically become another person's obligation. The larger lesson is self-responsibility. A woman should not enter a relationship expecting another person to do the work she is capable of doing herself. 4. What Are We Teaching the Next Generation?The conversation expands beyond dating and into parenting. Diana challenges mothers and fathers to teach their children biblical standards rather than allowing the culture to establish their values. She encourages parents to teach their sons how to recognize unhealthy expectations and to understand that manipulation and exploitation are not godly. She also speaks about observing children and noticing attitudes, behavior, clothing, and the ways children respond to their parents. The hosts stress that teaching begins early. Their message is clear: parents cannot wait until their children become adults to teach them values. Christian parents have a responsibility to teach children that following God may require them to be different from the culture around them. 5. Christians Are Called to Be DistinctiveDiana strongly emphasizes that Christians are supposed to be different from the world—not because they are better than other people, but because they belong to God. She challenges listeners to examine whether the church has become too comfortable adopting the world's thinking, behavior, standards, and priorities. The hosts call for a return to biblical truth, emphasizing that sin is still sin, righteousness is still righteousness, and obedience to God still matters. They remind listeners that loving God is demonstrated through obedience. Rather than constantly focusing on what God can do for us, believers should also ask what God requires of us. The goal is not merely to receive God's blessings but to live in a manner that honors Him. 6. Respect, Responsibility, and Reciprocity in RelationshipsMichele shares a personal example from her marriage. When she and her husband were living in different states, she decided she would not leave her job and move until she found comparable employment. She had student loans and did not want to make her husband responsible for debts that were hers. That story becomes a practical illustration of responsibility and consideration in relationships. Michele challenges listeners to reverse the situation and ask themselves: Would you do for a man what you expect him to do for you? Would you pay for his haircut, his clothes, childcare, or other personal expenses simply because he wanted to meet you? The hosts encourage women and men to respect one another as God's creation. A relationship should not be built around using someone for what they possess. Instead, trust should be built through character, good conduct, commitment, love, and mutual respect. 7. Don't Let a Shortcut Take You Away From God's BestThe hosts close the conversation with a powerful reminder: trying to obtain something through manipulation, entitlement, or another person's resources may look like a shortcut, but it can lead somewhere very different from where we intended to go. Michele explains that taking advantage of one man can affect the way he views women who come after you. It can damage trust and make it harder for him to believe that he can find a woman whose heart can be safely trusted. The hosts encourage listeners to allow God to love them, teach them, provide for them, and direct their lives. God's provision is greater than anything a human being can provide. They remind listeners that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, but love requires them to tell the truth. Their goal is not to condemn women but to help them recognize unhealthy thinking before it leads them down the wrong road. The episode closes with encouragement to be strong, remain encouraged, share the podcast, contact the hosts through teachablewoman.com, listen and re-listen to the episode, and remember the 37-second prayer. SummaryIn this episode of the Teachable Woman Podcast, Reverend Michele Owes and Reverend Diana P. Cherry address expectations, entitlement, responsibility, relationships, parenting, Christian standards, and the importance of trusting God. Their central message is that a person's worth should never be measured by what someone else can buy or provide. Healthy relationships should be built on character, conduct, commitment, respect, responsibility, and trust. Women are encouraged to care for themselves rather than expecting men to finance their personal needs before a relationship has even begun. Men are encouraged to recognize unhealthy expectations and not allow themselves to be exploited. Parents are challenged to teach their children biblical values early, and Christians are reminded that they are called to be distinct from the world. Most importantly, the hosts encourage listeners to stop looking for shortcuts and allow God to direct their lives. What God provides is greater than anything people can manufacture or obtain through manipulation. The hosts' desire throughout this conversation is not condemnation, but correction rooted in love. They want listeners to know better so they can do better, walk according to God's Word, protect their character, respect others, and receive God's blessings in a way that glorifies Him without destroying anyone else.
