Most Muslim women shy away from the word “leadership.” But what if you’re already leading every single day—and just don’t realize it? In this episode on the Muslim Life Hackers podcast, Ustadha Maryam Alsamarrai dismantles the idea that leadership is only for certain people. With 16+ years of mentoring Muslim women and as a mother of five daughters, she shows why every decision you make, every value you hold, and every boundary you set is an act of leadership—whether you own the title or not. This isn’t about adding more to your plate. It’s about recognizing the power you already have and learning to use it with clarity, intention, and connection to your soul. What You’ll Learn Leadership Is Already Yours [02:00-08:00] * Why “everyone is a shepherd” means everyone is a leader * How motherhood, choices, and service are all forms of leadership * The resistance to owning leadership as a Muslim woman * Why we’re created for service, including serving ourselves Leading Yourself First [09:00-13:00] * The critical practice of knowing your values * How clarity becomes your compass * Why boundaries flow naturally from knowing who you are * The internal work required before you can lead others The Power of Decision-Making [18:00-24:00] * Why indecision is still a decision * How vagueness and confusion create blockages * The conditioning that tells women their decisions belong to others * Why quick, clear decisions move you forward faster Khadijah’s Model of Leadership [24:00-27:00] * How she chose the Prophet ﷺ based on values (sadiq and amin) * Making decisions before Islam existed—guided by human nature * The laws of the universe: right foundations lead to success * What it means to choose with clarity and conviction Quran + Therapy: Not Either/Or [29:00-38:00] * Why we weren’t raised with Quran as a compass for life * When external perspective becomes essential * Khadijah’s example: giving positivity, then seeking Waraqah’s expertise * The importance of Muslim therapists who understand deen and dunya Listening to Your Soul vs. Your Ego [38:00-48:00] * How to recognize the voice of your soul (peace, love, compassion) * The markers of ego: fear, grudge, revenge, proving yourself * Why your soul always guides you toward Allah * The practice of discernment (and yes, you’ll make mistakes) Breaking Free from Self-Blame [49:00-54:00] * Why self-blame goes against purification of the nafs * The cycle that keeps you stuck: blame, sabotage, repeat * Allah’s invitation to repent, return, and move forward * Learning from your toddler: try, fall, get up, keep going Key Quotes “Leadership is choices. Leadership is having the integrity and characteristics of believers and taking people with you on that journey.” “Not taking a decision is actually a decision you have made as well.” “When you ask a question from Allah, you’re not responsible for finding the answer. You just ask the question and Allah brings the answer to you.” “The call of your soul comes from a place of peace, stability, love, and compassion. The call of ego comes from fear, grudge, revenge, and proving yourself.” “We ruin most of our lives sitting within ourselves and self-blaming. Allah wants you to identify the problem, seek forgiveness, return back to Him, and move forward.” Guest Bio Ustadha Maryam Alsamarrai is a former youth leader with UK Islamic Mission where she served for six years and has over 16 years of experience mentoring Muslim girls and women across the UK. As a mother of five daughters (three of them teenagers), her leadership style is grounded in real-life experience rather than theory alone. She is the founder of AlHusnaa Academy, where she teaches Islamic studies, runs transformational courses like The Seven Doors, and leads the Khadija Initiative—a leadership program for mothers who want to lead with intention. Her mission is clear: helping every Muslim woman remember that she was created to lead with strength, wisdom, and faith. Connect with Ustadha Maryam * Instagram: @Nurturing5muhsinaat * AlHusnaa Academy Instagram: @Alhusnaa_academy Subscribe to the Podcast * Apple Podcasts * Spotify This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit muslimlifehackers.substack.com
