Healing My Parts: Real Talk on Dissociative Identity Disorder and Complex Trauma

Healing My Parts
  • 5.0 (27)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Biweekly

Real talk on Dissociative Identity Disorder and complex trauma—grounded in lived experience and clinical insight. Hosted by a therapist who lives with DID, Healing My Parts explores the complexities of life as a system, from trauma recovery to everyday realities. Through raw conversations, practical tools, and powerful guest interviews, this podcast empowers those living with DID, OSDD, and other dissociative disorders—as well as the professionals, friends, and family who support them. Together, we break stigma, celebrate system strengths, and shed light on one of the most misunderstood areas of mental health. healingmyparts.substack.com

  1. Finding Out at 64

    5d ago

    Finding Out at 64

    Episode Summary: Some people receive a DID diagnosis in their twenties. Some in their forties. And some spend more than six decades trying to understand themselves before finally finding an answer. In this deeply honest conversation, we’re joined by Tom from The Kids Are in Charge, diagnosed just 14 months ago at age 64. What began as a frightening wellness check during a period of profound loss ultimately opened the door to understanding a lifetime of experiences that suddenly made sense. Together we explore the grief of a late diagnosis, the challenges of being a man with DID, the isolation that can come with aging, and the surprising ways healing emerges when parts finally have room to be seen. But this conversation is also about something else: What happens when you spend 64 years believing one story about yourself—and then discover there’s another one underneath it? Thoughtful, vulnerable, funny, and full of hard-won wisdom, this is a conversation about survival, self-discovery, and learning what it means to finally live with compassion for all the parts that got you here. Inside This Conversation • Receiving a DID diagnosis later in life • Why dissociation is so often missed • Reinterpreting a lifetime of memories through a new lens • The unique challenges men face when navigating trauma and dissociation • Music, creativity, work, and the different parts that show up for each • Finding community later in life • Learning to care for younger parts • Moving from survival mode toward connection, compassion, and genuine relaxation A Line That Stays With You “I don’t know if I’m tired… or if this is what relaxed feels like.” Timestamps 03:20 — The wellness check that changed everything 06:50 — Looking back through a dissociative lens 24:00 — Discovering new parts through video journals 31:00 — When the wrong part shows up for work 39:30 — Doubt, denial, and "Holy Moses" moments 53:30 — Being a man with DID Resources Find Tom at The Kids Are In Charge on Instagram For more resources visit: healingmyparts.org Healing My Parts Substack @healingmyparts on Instagram Whether you're a system navigating your own journey or a clinician supporting one, we'd love to connect. Consults & Services for Professionals and Consultations for Systems Thank you for listening! 🩷🫶💜 Get full access to Healing My Parts at healingmyparts.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 7m
  2. Art, Memory, and the Generations Before Us Featuring Julia by Mes

    May 21

    Art, Memory, and the Generations Before Us Featuring Julia by Mes

    Some people find art. Others are found by it. Julia Mes had never made art in her life — until about a year and a half ago, when a stone-dotting workshop and a YouTube rabbit hole into neurographic art opened something she didn’t expect. Parts of her system turned out to be artists. Others are still not so sure. And one part has been loudly, clearly stating for months: “I am not an artist.” No further information. In this conversation, we explore what it looks like when creativity becomes a language between parts, how system mapping evolved from a spreadsheet to a 42-page Google Doc to a park in a shoebox to hand-painted stones. We also move into something rarely discussed: intergenerational trauma, the concept of the “Grandchildren of War,” and what it means to carry images that may belong to another generation entirely. This one is quiet, honest, and really beautiful. Inside This Conversation • When parts disagree about who you are — including one who is very clear: “I am not an artist” • System mapping as an evolving, tactile, annual practice • Neurographic art as an unexpected tool for internal communication • Late discovery, menopause, and the energy that was keeping things submerged • Growing up in Germany as a grandchild of the Second World War • Holding images that feel like memory — but may not be yours • What the messy, funny, sometimes devastating day-to-day looks like ⏱️ Timestamps 00:55 – Introducing Julia and her system 07:43 – How the artistic practice began — by accident 14:04 – When not everyone in the system wants to be an artist 23:01 – System mapping: from spreadsheet to painted stones 32:07 – Finding out you’re a system in your late 40s 34:46 – Menopause, DID, and the energy that kept things submerged 42:54 – Grandchildren of War: intergenerational trauma and the German context 56:54 – The messy middle — desperate days, dark moments, and laughing because it’s so sad 01:02:17 – What Julia wants listeners to take away If you’ve ever struggled to put your internal experience into words — Julia has an invitation: grab a piece of paper and a Sharpie, write “there is no way to do this wrong,” and see what happens. Resources Julia by Mes — juliabymes.com Instagram: @juliabymes For more resources visit: healingmyparts.org Consultation & Training Healing My Parts Substack — healingmyparts.substack.com @healingmyparts on Instagram Thank you for listening! 🩷🫶💜 Get full access to Healing My Parts at healingmyparts.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 6m
  3. What Protected Me? A System’s Journey from Chaos to Self-Trust

    Apr 30

    What Protected Me? A System’s Journey from Chaos to Self-Trust

    Episode Summary Some people discover they’re a system in a single moment. Others… don’t. In this episode, we’re joined by Mike and the Committee, a system who came to understand themselves not through diagnosis—but through patterns, reactions, and a question that changed everything: What protected me? From there, their journey unfolds in a way that’s messy, human, and deeply relatable. We talk about what it actually looks like to live as a system while navigating work, relationships, parenting—and the internal chaos that can come with it. Inside this conversation: * When system awareness feels more like chaos than clarity * Learning to recognize which part is activated—and why that matters * The shift from fearing intense or “dark” parts to understanding their role * A simple grounding tool they use in real time * Why safety—not insight—is the foundation of healing * What happens when you push too fast internally * The role of the body in healing (and why it doesn’t always happen in therapy rooms) * The impact of stigma, silence, and being misunderstood in the outside world This episode doesn’t offer a neat, linear path.It offers something more useful: A lived-in look at what it means to build trust inside a system—slowly, imperfectly, and over time. If parts of your experience feel overwhelming…If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re “doing this right”…If you’ve been trying to make sense of something that doesn’t follow clean rules… You may find a mirror in here. ⏱️ Timestamps * 00:01:05 – Meet Mike & the Committee * 00:02:07 – The question that changed everything * 00:02:18 – A simple tool for overwhelm (BAR) * 00:05:22 – When system awareness feels like chaos * 00:08:21 – Rethinking the parts you’re afraid of * 00:13:49 – An unexpected turning point * 00:17:02 – From “what’s wrong with me?” to something else * 00:24:20 – The cost of pushing too fast internally * 00:35:40 – Stigma, silence, and real-world consequences * 00:46:00 – Advocacy and being seen Resources Books: The Many Faces of Me The Throne Within Etsy Shop: HealWithCourage For more resources visit: healingmyparts.org Healing My Parts Substack @healingmyparts on Instagram Thank you for listening! 🩷🫶💜 Get full access to Healing My Parts at healingmyparts.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 10m
  4. Treating Dissociation: What Works, What Gets Missed, and What Needs to Change

    Apr 16

    Treating Dissociation: What Works, What Gets Missed, and What Needs to Change

    ✨ Episode Summary What happens when the people who live with dissociation and the people who treat it finally sit at the same table—and actually listen to each other? In this deeply human conversation, we sit down with Dr. Paul Langthorne and Melanie Goodwin, two of the editors and contributing authors of a powerful new clinical text on treating dissociation—bringing together lived experience, clinical expertise, and something often missing from both: real relationship. This episode is for systems, clinicians, and anyone who has grappled with the tension inherent in complex dissociation care. There’s honesty here.There’s grief here.And something else too—quiet, persistent hope. This is one of those conversations that stays with you. 👥 About the Guests Dr. Paul LangthorneClinical Psychologist (NHS), working extensively with trauma-related dissociation Melanie GoodwinExpert-by-experience, co-founder of First Person Plural, and long-time advocate for improved care Together, they helped create a resource that bridges a gap many people have felt for a long time. 📚 Featured Resource BOOK: Working with Dissociation in Clinical Practice: Guidance for Mental Health Professionals and Multidisciplinary Teams A long-overdue bridge between research, real life, and the care people actually receive.. * Blends clinical knowledge + lived experience * Offers practical, grounded guidance * Designed for providers, systems, and supporters ✨ Use code: 26ESE1 by June 30th for 20% offWorking with Dissociation in Clinical Practice: Routledge ⏱️ Timestamps 00:00 – “Something is missing in how we treat dissociation…”Why this conversation matters more than most—and who it’s really for 07:30 – “I thought I was helping… and I wasn’t.”The quiet reality: most clinicians were never trained for this 18:30 – Head and heart—and what happens when they finally meet each otherWhy lived experience changes everything (and why it’s been left out) 32:00 – “They saw everything… except what was actually happening.”Misdiagnosis, being unseen, and the harm that follows 48:00 – It’s not the technique—it’s the relationshipWhat actually helps (and why that can feel risky in systems that want quick fixes) 1:05:00 – What if healing isn’t what you were told it would be?Stabilization, daily reality, and a kind of hope that doesn’t rush you 1:20:00 – If the system is broken… what now?What needs to change—and how this book begins to open that door 🌿 What You’ll Hear in This Episode * Why dissociation is still so often missed, misdiagnosed, or dismissed * The quiet harm of treatment that doesn’t fit—and how often it happens * What actually helps (hint: not just technique… but relationship) * How validation—even in small moments—can shift everything * Why collaboration between clinicians and lived experience isn’t optional—it’s essential 💬 A Line That Stays With You “It’s not the clever stuff—it’s the everyday human stuff that helps.” 🧠 For Providers You don’t have to get everything right. But being willing to: * step into authenticity * compassionately listen * genuinely validate * stay curious …can change the trajectory of someone’s life more than you may ever know. 🫶 For Systems If you’ve ever been: * misdiagnosed * disbelieved * told to “try harder” * or made to feel like the problem This conversation might feel familiar. And maybe—just maybe—a little less lonely. 🔗 Resources Working with Dissociation in Clinical Practice: Routledge Books Use code: 26ESE1 by June 30th for 20% off Conference: Building Foundations Together: The Future of Complex Dissociation in the UK. Playlist: (16677) Dissociation Conference Recordings - YouTube Training film Remy Aquarone, Melanie Goodwin and Jamie Wright More Resources: CTAD Clinic Youtube Dissociative Disorders Alliance- UK Carolyn Spring HealingMyParts.org An Infinite Mind A Couple of Multiples Beauty After Bruises The Plural Association Multiplied By One For more resources visit: healingmyparts.org Healing My Parts Substack @healingmyparts on Instagram Thank you for listening! 🩷🫶💜 Get full access to Healing My Parts at healingmyparts.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 35m
  5. Polyfragmentation and Coming Back to the Body

    Apr 2

    Polyfragmentation and Coming Back to the Body

    Episode Show Notes Healing My Parts Podcast — with Body Wise: Many Selves, One Body This episode sits inside the lived reality of DID—specifically polyfragmentation—and what healing looks like when the body becomes part of the work, not just the story. We’re joined by Body Wise: Many Selves, One Body, a polyfragmented system and somatic trauma therapist, who shares openly about system discovery, co-consciousness, and the slow, often non-linear process of building safety in the body. There’s honesty here about how hard this work is.And also… a grounded kind of hope. In This Episode * What polyfragmentation can actually look like from the inside * Discovering DID suddenly—and skipping denial * Living as a co-conscious system (and holding a lot of memory) * Why somatic work can feel terrifying—and still be essential * How healing often happens in very small, tolerable steps * Trusting the internal intelligence of the system * What helps (and what doesn’t) in therapy for complex systems Timestamps 00:00 — Opening + podcast intention 01:18 — Meet the guest (polyfragmented system + therapist) 02:29 — Sudden DID discovery 05:01 — Understanding polyfragmentation + subsystems 07:28 — Co-consciousness and holding memory 11:33 — Why somatic work changed everything 17:22 — Healing slowly: building safety in the body 21:02 — Trusting your system’s internal guidance 33:04 — Somatic flashbacks + coping tools 43:49 — Rewriting trauma through the body For Listeners If your experience doesn’t match what you’ve seen elsewhere, remember: There isn’t one way to be a system.There isn’t one way to heal. Resources Connect with Body Wise Many Selves One Body on their Instagram: bodywise.manyselves.onebody Connect with them at their Natural Holistics Practice website. For more resources visit: healingmyparts.org Healing My Parts Substack @healingmyparts on Instagram Thank you for listening! 🩷🫶💜 Get full access to Healing My Parts at healingmyparts.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 23m
  6. The Biology of Survival with Dr. Frank Putnam

    Mar 19

    The Biology of Survival with Dr. Frank Putnam

    What happens when trauma doesn’t just shape memories — but reshapes the body itself? In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Frank Putnam, one of the most influential researchers in the field of childhood trauma and dissociation. For more than four decades, Dr. Putnam has studied how early maltreatment affects development, health, and survival across the lifespan. His groundbreaking Female Growth and Development Study has followed survivors of childhood abuse for more than 35 years, revealing something profound: trauma doesn’t only affect the mind. It changes biology, aging, health, and even the next generation. Together we explore how dissociation develops in childhood, why trauma survivors often experience earlier physical illness, and what the science actually tells us about healing. This conversation bridges research, clinical care, and lived experience — offering a rare look at the long arc of trauma and the resilience of those who survive it. Key Moments 03:20 — How childhood trauma can accelerate biological aging09:45 — Dissociation as a survival strategy, not a disorder18:10 — The origins of the Female Growth and Development Study32:40 — The “tentacles” of trauma across physical health and development46:15 — What clinicians often misunderstand about dissociation58:30 — Why stabilizing daily life must come before trauma processing About Our Guest Frank W. Putnam, MD is a professor of clinical psychiatry at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine and one of the leading researchers on childhood trauma and dissociation. His newest book, Old Before Their Time: A Scientific Life Investigating How Maltreatment Harms Children and the Adults They Become, brings together decades of research on the lifelong impact of childhood abuse. Who This Episode Is For • Survivors navigating dissociation, DID, or complex trauma• Clinicians working with trauma and dissociative systems• Anyone interested in the intersection of science, trauma, and healing Resources 📘 Old Before Their Time — Dr. Frank Putnam 📩Contact Dr. Frank Putnam 🌀About Dr. Putnam 🌐 healingmyparts.org Get full access to Healing My Parts at healingmyparts.substack.com/subscribe

    59 min
  7. 🎙️ DID Is a Brilliant Adaptation-With Sally Maslansky, LMFT — author of A Brilliant Adaptation

    Mar 5

    🎙️ DID Is a Brilliant Adaptation-With Sally Maslansky, LMFT — author of A Brilliant Adaptation

    What if dissociative identity disorder is a brilliant, life-saving strategy? In this moving and grounded conversation, therapist and author Sally Maslansky shares her lived experience of DID and the therapeutic relationship that changed everything. Diagnosed in the 1990s (when it was still called MPD), Sally entered treatment during a cultural moment steeped in fear and shame. But her therapist, Dr. Dan Siegel, offered something radically different: Not “What’s wrong with you?”But “What did your mind do to survive?” From disorganized attachment to learned secure attachment.From fragmentation to fluidity.From terror without context to memory with meaning. ⏱ Timestamps 00:04 – Romania, terror, and the shock of not remembering childhoodAdoption awakens something she can’t ignore. 08:58 – The diagnosis in the 90sFrom “Am I crazy?” to “This is a brilliant adaptation.” 11:33 – Disorganized attachment: fear without solutionHow the brain fragments to survive. 14:37 – Parts as verbs, not nounsWhy dissociated states are processes — not separate people. 21:46 – What healing actually feels likeMemory intact. Suffering over. 33:55 – Implicit vs. explicit memory“If I’m hysterical, it’s historical.” If you’ve ever feared that healing means losing your parts, this episode offers another picture. Memory intact.Suffering over.Safety carried securely from the inside. Links & Resources Sally’s Website Sally’s Book A Brilliant Adaptation Sally at the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium March 20th Sally & Dr Dan Siegel Speaking March 11th The Wheel of Awareness Dr Dan Siegel’s Website Dr Ruth Lanius Website Dr. Bethany Brand’s Website HealingMyParts.org Get full access to Healing My Parts at healingmyparts.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 11m
  8. Cheryl Rainfield on Cult Torture, Programming, and Healing DID with Compassion

    Feb 19

    Cheryl Rainfield on Cult Torture, Programming, and Healing DID with Compassion

    In this deeply nuanced conversation, we’re joined by author and survivor Cheryl Rainfield to explore the realities of cult torture, dissociative identity, and the layered impact of organized abuse. We unpack what it means to reclaim the word torture, how cult-created programming functions inside dissociative systems, and how healing unfolds when compassion replaces fear. We explore: • Why some survivors reclaim the term cult torture• How programming operates — and how it can be gently dismantled• The distinction between cult-created parts and other trauma-based or persecutory parts• Subtle indicators that may suggest a history of organized abuse• Why relational repair, attachment, and emotional responsiveness matter profoundly in treatment• What therapists often misunderstand about working with survivors of organized abuse• How systems can begin building trust with cult created parts This conversation does not sensationalize. It names. It clarifies. And it holds hope. Cheryl speaks candidly about what survivors need most: to be believed, to be heard, and to be met with steady compassion. Whether you are a survivor, clinician, or someone seeking to better understand complex dissociation, we hope this episode offers clarity, validation, and thoughtful guidance. Time Stamps 00:00 – Introduction + reclaiming the term “cult torture”08:40 – What programming is and how it functions21:15 – Cult-created parts vs. persecutory/trauma parts36:20 – Subtle signs of organized abuse histories52:10 – What therapists need to understand1:06:30 – Modifying modalities (EMDR, grounding, attachment needs)1:20:45 – Community, writing, and reclaiming voice1:32:00 – Hope for survivors + practical next steps Content Note This episode discusses organized abuse, dissociation, and suicidality. Please listen at your own pace and care for yourself as needed. Connect with Cheryl CherylRainfield.com Cheryl’s Books Cheryl’s Social Media TikTok @Cherylrainfield Instagram @Cherylrainfield Facebook Cheryl Rainfield YouTube Cheryl.Rainfield Substack Cheryl Rainfield Cheryl’s Articles Some Signs and Symptoms of Cult Torture and How To Help: Article on cult torture and programming: Cheryl’s Links to Resources on Cult torture and DID Cheryl’s Recommended Books on cult torture/RAMCOA: Becoming Yourself by Alison Miller Healing The Unimaginable by Alison Miller Demystifying Mind Control & Ritual Abuse Safe Passage to Healing by Chrystine Oksana. Cheryl’s Recommended Websites: Survivorship.org ra-info.org ritualabuse.us endritualabuse.org grassroots-ra-mc-collective.org Get full access to Healing My Parts at healingmyparts.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 28m
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About

Real talk on Dissociative Identity Disorder and complex trauma—grounded in lived experience and clinical insight. Hosted by a therapist who lives with DID, Healing My Parts explores the complexities of life as a system, from trauma recovery to everyday realities. Through raw conversations, practical tools, and powerful guest interviews, this podcast empowers those living with DID, OSDD, and other dissociative disorders—as well as the professionals, friends, and family who support them. Together, we break stigma, celebrate system strengths, and shed light on one of the most misunderstood areas of mental health. healingmyparts.substack.com

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