If you’ve ever woken up in a cold sweat wondering whether a sapphire crystal really is superior to hardened mineral glass, or what the exact salinity level of your dive watch should be, then boy, do I have the podcast for you. Enter The Salty Horologist, where the hosts don’t just care about watches—they care about them too much.
First off, the name. “Salty” is right. These hosts bring enough sass and sarcasm to make you think the crown of their favorite timepiece is perpetually stuck, and they’re channeling all that pent-up frustration into their microphones. But don’t be fooled by their snark—their horological knowledge runs deep, like a luxury dive watch rated for 300 meters, even though you’re probably never taking it deeper than your kitchen sink.
Listening to this podcast is like sitting at a bar with the most pretentious watch aficionados in town, but somehow, instead of wanting to run away, you end up ordering another round just to hear more of their unapologetic rants about the unforgivable sin of a “display case back on a tool watch” or the existential crisis caused by the Quartz Crisis. You’ll learn more than you ever wanted to know about obscure watch brands you can’t pronounce (and definitely can’t afford), while being reminded repeatedly that if your collection doesn’t include a vintage Speedmaster, you’re basically wearing a sundial on your wrist.
The hosts dive into topics with the seriousness of a Swiss movement, dissecting watch minutiae that would make a Rolex fan club blush. But, oh, do they love to hate! Whether they’re roasting the latest fashion-watch fad or lamenting the fall from grace of a beloved brand, there’s a salty comment to go with every second tick. And don’t even get them started on smartwatches. According to them, if you wear one, you might as well be dead inside.
But beneath the sarcasm and wit, there’s a real love for the craft. You get the feeling that, deep down, these salty horologists are just trying to protect the soul of watchmaking from the clutches of Instagram influencers and their endless parade of “minimalist” brands.
If you’re in the market for horological elitism wrapped in irony and wit—or just need something to play in the background while you polish your collection of NATO straps—give The Salty Horologist a listen. Just don’t expect them to approve of anything you wear on your wrist.
Would you listen to it after that?
