I Tried to Be Straight

Nate and Susie
  • 4.8 (74)
  • PERSONAL JOURNALS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Welcome to the I Tried to Be Straight Podcast! We both grew up in Christian culture where being gay wasn't acceptable. After years of struggling with our sexualities, we both recently came out of the closet. We're here to unpack those journeys, and learn more about the struggle of accepting your sexuality in a culture where it's not ok to be gay. We're entering into the stories of others, digging into theology, learning more about gay culture, and trying to give you a little insight into just how hard it is to try to be straight.

  1. FEB 5

    No More Trying to Be Straight - Why We're Done Wrestling With Sexuality

    In this final episode of this era of I Tried to Be Straight, Nate and Susie reunite to close out a series that has been so close to our hearts. We reflect on where we started, how far we've come, and what it means to finally live without the constant tension of wondering whether being gay is somehow at odds with being a Christian. We chat about how our faith and identity have evolved, and the unexpected peace that comes when you stop trying to fix what was never broken. As this chapter of the podcast comes to a close, it’s not a goodbye, but it is the end of this era. But stay tuned, because there will still be more ahead!

    44 min

  2. JAN 22

    I Was Afraid God Wouldn't Love Me If I Came Out Gay

    For a long time, Davidson believed loving himself came with conditions. That if he came out, he might lose his faith, his family, or God’s love altogether. So he stayed quiet, faithful, afraid, and disconnected from himself. In this episode, Davidson shares how coming out wasn’t about rejecting God, but finally believing he was still loved by God. He opens up about the moment he realized he couldn’t fully love himself while hiding, the fear of being disqualified, and the surprising ways honesty deepened his faith instead of destroying it.

    53 min

  3. JAN 8

    The Megachurch Trying to Turn Gay People Straight - Bethel's Changed Movement

    Judah went to Bethel’s School of Supernatural Ministry to learn tools to go into ministry. Instead he found himself getting pushed into Bethel Church’s Changed Movement, a new ex-gay therapy program built on declarations, demon-casting, and false hope. In this episode, Judah shares what really happened behind the scenes: trusting leaders who said change was coming, being used as a testimony while nothing actually changed, and the quiet damage of being told you’re broken. This is the truth about Bethel’s secret gay “healing” ministry and how no one is actually changing.

    50 min

  4. 11/05/2025

    How Do We Show Christians that Being Gay is a Part of Us? - Gilbert Gonzalez Jr.

    When Gilbert Gonzalez Jr. fell in love with God, he was told he couldn’t be both gay and Christian. Years later, he’s learned that faith and identity don’t have to be enemies. In this episode of I Tried to Be Straight, Gilbert shares how he reconciled his faith, embraced his truth, and now fights for a church that fully affirms LGBTQ+ believers.

    56 min

  5. 09/04/2025

    I Was Ministering to Others But Begging God to Change Me

    Lewis Crompton was a respected prophetic leader and church counselor but he was denying his sexuality. For years, he prayed, fasted, and even tried conversion therapy, desperately hoping his sexuality would change. In this conversation, Lewis shares the painful cost of hiding, the deep questions he wrestled with and how he ultimately found the courage to come out as gay. https://www.instagram.com/withlewiscrompton/

    56 min

  6. 08/14/2025

    Singer William Matthews - Why I Finally Had to Accept My Sexuality

    William Matthews has been known for his powerful voice and songwriting in the Christian music world, but behind the music was a years-long struggle to accept his own sexuality. In this candid conversation, William opens up about the internal battles, the faith questions, and the turning points that led him to finally embrace who he was as a gay man.

    1h 14m

  7. 07/31/2025

    I Survived Four Years of Conversion Therapy

    Lucas Wilson shares his experience of spending four years in conversion therapy while attending Liberty University. Now, years later, Lucas is reclaiming his voice as the writer of Shame-Sex Attraction, a powerful anthology of stories from conversion therapy survivors. We dive into his story, the lasting effects of spiritual trauma, and what healing and queer joy can look like on the other side.

    50 min

  8. 07/17/2025

    At 24 His Book Started a Gay Christian Movement

    Ten years ago, at just 24 years old, Matthew Vines published God and the Gay Christian, a book that would challenge centuries of church teaching and ignite a movement. In this episode, Matthew reflects on the past decade: the backlash, the breakthroughs, and the communities that have formed around the idea that you can be fully gay and fully Christian. https://matthewvines.com/

    1h 17m
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Trailers

4.8
out of 5
74 Ratings

About

Welcome to the I Tried to Be Straight Podcast! We both grew up in Christian culture where being gay wasn't acceptable. After years of struggling with our sexualities, we both recently came out of the closet. We're here to unpack those journeys, and learn more about the struggle of accepting your sexuality in a culture where it's not ok to be gay. We're entering into the stories of others, digging into theology, learning more about gay culture, and trying to give you a little insight into just how hard it is to try to be straight.

Information

  • Creator
    Nate and Susie
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    56
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Nate and Susie
  • Show Website
    I Tried to Be Straight

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