EsaysPsays

Paul and Ellyn Mock

What happens when a girl from Brooklyn and a boy from South Central Los Angeles find each other in college — and never let go? 37 years of marriage. 43 years of friendship. And enough real life between them to fill a book. EsaysPsays is the candid, unfiltered conversation of Paul and Ellyn Mock — told from our perspective. A special educator who survived the streets of South Central. A Brooklyn girl who grew up worlds apart but loved the same man through all of it. Together they've navigated young love, culture clash, grief, financial strain, family chaos, faith and a whole lot of laughter. This isn't a perfect marriage podcast. It's an honest one. New episodes every two weeks. Because real love stories don't have a finale — they just keep going. #BlackLove #BlackMarriage #Cheersto37Years #37YearsAndCounting

  1. 10h ago ·  Bonus

    Day 11 of 30: Love and the Tight Seasons (Tip #288)

    Day 11 of #NaPodPoMo, our 30 episodes in 30 days. Every day this month we’re sharing a tip from our book, 365 Tips to Avoid Divorce Court. Tip #288: “Love may not pay the bills, but it certainly makes working through financial challenges a little easier.” How do you get through a tight season? Paul and Ellyn have had several. They share what has worked: sitting down as a team after the frustration passes, and never making unilateral money decisions. Their rule is that two heads are better than one, even when you disagree. Ellyn admits that early unilateral decisions led to a few of those tight seasons. Over time, they had to hold uncomfortable conversations and make choices neither one loved so they could move forward together. Money talks are rarely happy ones, because each partner brings their own baggage to the table. Ellyn says our recent finance series with Michael Collison helped ease some of that tension. Paul adds that when you’re working toward something with someone you love, you might as well have the hard conversations early. And the goal doesn’t have to be big. Sometimes it’s just maintaining the home you have, and the staycation counts. New here? Catch our full four-part money series with Michael Collison. https://async.com/show/esayspsays-GQamM3s1/day-10-of-30-money-marriage-and-a-plan-finances-with-michael-collison-part-4-finale-TqP2Nvw6 Want all 365 tips? 365 Tips to Avoid Divorce Court is on Amazon, and signed copies are available through Square. Amazon Premium: https://a.co/d/03joMCHk
 Amazon Journal: https://a.co/d/0cXieps2
 Signed Premium: https://square.link/u/3uCUVzxY
 Signed Journal: https://square.link/u/GYIT5UR5
 Gift hardcover Available Now!!— open now, book goes live Nov 10: https://square.link/u/oa0Ase2F We’re not therapists, just a couple sharing what’s kept us together 37 years.

    Day 11 of 30: Love and the Tight Seasons (Tip #288)
  2. 2d ago ·  Bonus

    Day 9 of 30: Listen to Hear, Not to Respond (Tip #23)

    Day 9 of #NaPodPoMo, our 30 episodes in 30 days. Every day this month we’re sharing a tip from our book, 365 Tips to Avoid Divorce Court. Tip #23: “Listen to hear what your partner says. Do not listen to respond.” Ellyn asks Paul when he’s listened just to respond, and after 37 years he has a few examples. He used to think every comment needed an answer, and he couldn’t understand why she’d say “I just need you to listen.” They talk about how listening is a skill, why you shouldn’t tell your partner what they mean or feel, and what changed once they learned to let each other vent. Counseling years ago taught them another lesson: a partner’s reaction may come from their own history, not from anything you said. Neither is perfect (they say so themselves), but they’re both works in progress. Practice listening with your partner and with your children too. Coming up: Tomorrow is Part 4 of our finance series with Michael Collison, your FIRE Journey Coach, the season finale of the series. yourfirejourney.coach. Want all 365 tips? 365 Tips to Avoid Divorce Court is on Amazon, and signed copies are available through Square. Amazon Premium: https://a.co/d/03joMCHk
 Amazon Journal: https://a.co/d/0cXieps2
 Signed Premium: https://square.link/u/3uCUVzxY
 Signed Journal: https://square.link/u/GYIT5UR5
 Gift hardcover pre-order — open now, book goes live Nov 10: https://square.link/u/oa0Ase2F We’re not therapists, just a couple sharing what’s kept us together 37 years.

    Day 9 of 30: Listen to Hear, Not to Respond (Tip #23)
  3. 3d ago ·  Bonus

    Day 8 of 30: Your Kids Are Watching (Tip #257)

    Day 8 of #NaPodPoMo, our 30 episodes in 30 days. Every day this month we’re sharing a tip from our book, 365 Tips to Avoid Divorce Court. Tip #257: “You are your child’s first role model. So do your best to model a healthy relationship for them.” What do we hope our kids learned from watching us? Ellyn shares a story from early in their marriage, when a young Paul told Grandma about their arguments and the two of them were called into “the upper room.” It was a wake-up call that their conflict wasn’t just between them. They talk about the hope that their children saw them take criticism, work through problems and keep growing, including going back to school later in life, and that it’s never too late to work on your relationship. They share the values they tried to model, including faith, prayer before meals and hard work. They also share the bad habit they passed along: working too hard and going all in. The message is to aim for a healthy marriage, not a perfect one. Expect rough patches, work at it every day, and get help from a trusted friend, family member or professional when you need it. Want all 365 tips? 365 Tips to Avoid Divorce Court is on Amazon, and signed copies are available through Square. Amazon Premium: https://a.co/d/03joMCHk Amazon Journal: https://a.co/d/0cXieps2
 Signed Premium: https://square.link/u/3uCUVzxY
 Signed Journal: https://square.link/u/GYIT5UR5
 Gift hardcover pre-order — open now, book goes live Nov 10: https://square.link/u/oa0Ase2F We’re not therapists, just a couple sharing what’s kept us together 37 years.

    Day 8 of 30: Your Kids Are Watching (Tip #257)
  4. 4d ago ·  Bonus

    Day 7 of 30: If You See It, Do It (Tip #204)

    Day 7 of #NaPodPoMo, our 30 episodes in 30 days. Every day this month we’re sharing a tip from our book, 365 Tips to Avoid Divorce Court. Tip #204: “If you see something that needs to be done around the house, do it. Don’t wait for your partner to do something that you can do yourself.” Paul admits that after 37 years there’s little he wishes Ellyn would just take over. She’s the dish-washing champion (and he finally admits she’s better at it), and he handles the trash. Then he turns the question around. Ellyn’s answer is “all of it,” and she explains why. With age, the heavy lifting gets harder, and one wrong move can mean months of recovery and a growing backlog. They connect it to Tip #12 (mind-reading is a fairy tale): say what you need before resentment builds. Their solution is to hire help for the heavy jobs, and they share a tip for finding it: Thumbtack. A reminder for younger listeners that your body will change, however fit you are, so plan ahead and ask early. Want all 365 tips? 365 Tips to Avoid Divorce Court is on Amazon, and signed copies are available through Square. Amazon Premium: https://a.co/d/03joMCHk
 Amazon Journal: https://a.co/d/0cXieps2
 Signed Premium: https://square.link/u/3uCUVzxY
 Signed Journal: https://square.link/u/GYIT5UR5
 Gift hardcover pre-order — open now, book goes live Nov 10: https://square.link/u/oa0Ase2F We’re not therapists, just a couple sharing what’s kept us together 37 years.

    Day 7 of 30: If You See It, Do It (Tip #204)
  5. 4d ago ·  Bonus

    Day 6 of 30: Honesty Is the Best Policy (Tip #148)

    Day 6 of #NaPodPoMo, our 30 episodes in 30 days. Every day this month we’re sharing a tip from our book, 365 Tips to Avoid Divorce Court. Tip #148: “Honesty is the best policy. If you are honest, you don’t have to remember the lie.” Paul and Ellyn admit they’ve tried every version of honesty, including omissions and half-truths. They talk about what changed when Paul stopped hiding things about his health from Ellyn, and how she learned to ask for the full story from the doctors. Then they trace their different upbringings. Paul grew up able to talk things out with his parents, while Ellyn’s house put respect first and opinions second. They discuss what kids need from their parents: being heard, even when the answer is still no, and parents presenting a united front so children can’t divide and conquer. They close on the hard part, which is that honesty doesn’t always land the way you hope. It often takes humility and time before the other person can say “you were right.” Want all 365 tips? 365 Tips to Avoid Divorce Court is on Amazon, and signed copies are available through Square: Amazon Premium: https://a.co/d/03joMCHk
 Amazon Journal: https://a.co/d/0cXieps2
 Signed Premium: https://square.link/u/3uCUVzxY
 Signed Journal: https://square.link/u/GYIT5UR5
 Gift hardcover pre-order — open now, book goes live Nov 10: https://square.link/u/oa0Ase2F We’re not therapists, just a couple sharing what’s kept us together 37 years.

    Day 6 of 30: Honesty Is the Best Policy (Tip #148)
  6. Nov 4

    Finances with Michael Collison, Part 3: Inflation, Real Estate and Buying Your Freedom

    Day 4 of #NaPodPoMo, our 30 episodes in 30 days, with a new tip from our book, 365 Tips to Avoid Divorce Court, every day this month. Ellyn and Paul continue their money conversation with Michael Collison, a retired software engineer who reached financial independence through systematic investing and careful budgeting. In this episode, Michael covers: How he got interested in investing, and what his hedge fund years taught him about rules over emotions Why inflation quietly eats your savings, and why saving alone can’t keep up What he means by “buying your freedom” Why he thinks real estate investing is overrated for most people The difference between your budget and your monthly expenses How the 25x rule and 4% withdrawal rate work for financial independence Why he doesn’t carry life insurance now, and how self-insuring works Why every account should have a purpose, and how to plan for inflation and longevity Part 4, the finale of our money series for this season, is next Tuesday. Find Michael: Your FIRE Journey Coach - https://yourfirejourney.coach Email - Michael@yourfirejourney.coach Budgeting tool: ynab.com (You Need A Budget). Want all 365 tips? 365 Tips to Avoid Divorce Court is on Amazon, and we’re happy to sign a copy. Amazon Links - Unsigned https://a.co/d/03joMCHk - Premium https://a.co/d/0cXieps2 - Journal Square Links - Signed https://square.link/u/3uCUVzxY - Premium https://square.link/u/GYIT5UR5 - Journal https://square.link/u/oa0Ase2F - Gift Hardcover (Pre-Order) We’re not therapists or financial experts. These are one person’s opinions and experiences, not financial advice. Talk to a professional about your own situation. *Correction: in the episode, Michael's email was mistakenly said as .com — the correct site is michael@yourfirejourney.coach

    Finances with Michael Collison, Part 3: Inflation, Real Estate and Buying Your Freedom

About

What happens when a girl from Brooklyn and a boy from South Central Los Angeles find each other in college — and never let go? 37 years of marriage. 43 years of friendship. And enough real life between them to fill a book. EsaysPsays is the candid, unfiltered conversation of Paul and Ellyn Mock — told from our perspective. A special educator who survived the streets of South Central. A Brooklyn girl who grew up worlds apart but loved the same man through all of it. Together they've navigated young love, culture clash, grief, financial strain, family chaos, faith and a whole lot of laughter. This isn't a perfect marriage podcast. It's an honest one. New episodes every two weeks. Because real love stories don't have a finale — they just keep going. #BlackLove #BlackMarriage #Cheersto37Years #37YearsAndCounting