Deafinitely Not The One Podcast

Deafinitely Not The One
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Society & Culture
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to DEAFinitely Not The One—the podcast where life, career, and boundaries get a masterclass in unfiltered, grown-up talk. We’re Tori and Taja, two millennial women navigating the world, sharing our journeys, and keeping it real. After a necessary hiatus, we’re back, rebranded, and bolder than ever. If you’re looking for authentic, witty, and insightful conversations from a perspective that’s as unique as it is relatable, you’ve found your new favorite space. Join us as we unpack the evolution of our lives and dive into the conversations that matter. Subscribe and join the evolution.

  1. 4d ago

    Why Being Alone in Your 30s Feels So Hard (And How to Fix It)

    Are you struggling with being single in your 30s or feeling awkward doing things alone? In this episode of Deafinitely Not The One, we dive deep into "Solo Dolo Season"—navigating solitude, unlearning codependency, and learning how to protect your peace. We discuss:• The awkwardness of public alone time (and why nobody is actually looking at you)• The societal pressure on single women in their 30s vs. 20s• Why adult friendships are so hard to maintain • Grieving unfulfilled relationship expectations & healing father wounds• How to grant "VIP Access" to your life and stop settling out of fearCHAPTER TIMESTAMPS:[00:00:00] Intro & The Cringe of Going Out Alone[00:03:04] Societal Pressures on Single Women in Their 30s[00:04:14] Female Friendships vs. Male Friendships[00:08:05] Embracing Solitude vs. Internalizing Shame[00:09:18] The "People-ing" Scale Check[00:10:57] Dating in Your 20s: Self-Exploration vs. Filling Voids[00:15:01] Post-Grad Isolation & Navigating Alone Time[00:16:29] Settling Out of Fear vs. Knowing Your Worth[00:19:54] Grieving the Future You Thought You’d Have[00:22:28] Protecting Your Peace: Giving "VIP Access" to Your Life[00:23:44] Solitude as a Spiritual Season: Hearing God's Voice[00:27:06] Unpacking Yourself: "Can You Stand on You?"[00:32:05] Healing Father Wounds & Unlearning Emotional Patterns[00:34:20] Homework Assignment & The Solo Date Challenge💬 WEEKLY HOMEWORK CHALLENGE:1. What is something you’ve done alone that you ended up loving?2. What is one thing you’re currently terrified to do by yourself?Drop your answers in the comments below!🔔 SUBSCRIBE & FOLLOW:Podcast Channel: @DeafinitelyNotTheOneInstagram: @DeafinitelyNotTheOneTikTok: @DeafinitelyNotTheOne#Solitude #SingleInYour30s #PersonalGrowth #DeafinitelyNotTheOne #SelfLove #HealingWounds #ProtectYourPeace

  2. Aug 12

    Breaking up is hard to do (therapy version)

    Are you staying with a therapist who no longer serves your growth just to avoid an awkward conversation? In this episode of Deafinitely Not The One, we are diving deep into the realities of mental health support, boundary setting, and why breaking up with your therapist might be the best decision you make for your personal development.We break down the rise of ghosting culture in millennials, the difference between passive "talk therapy" and actionable coaching, cultural alignment in mental health, and how Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) is changing the game for anxiety and trauma recovery. Plus, we share our exact framework for ending provider relationships professionally—without over-apologizing. 💬 QUESTION OF THE DAY: On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your relationship with your current therapist or coach? Let us know in the comments below!-------------------------------------------------- 📌 EPISODE TIMESTAMPS:00:00 - Welcome Back & Episode Overview00:46 - Ghosting Culture & Why Communication Is Dying01:50 - Can Therapy Fix Boundary Setting & Hard Conversations?02:47 - The Therapy Audit: Rating Our Relationship with Therapy (1–10)05:35 - Sex Coaching vs. Traditional Therapy: Outgrowing Your Provider07:01 - Why Talk Therapy Fails Body Image & Self-Esteem Issues08:20 - The Importance of Culturally Aligned Therapists & Real Application10:35 - How to Break Up With a Therapist Without Ghosting12:44 - Clinical Detachment vs. Real Connection (ASL Access & Cultural Fit)14:36 - What is ART Therapy? (Accelerated Resolution Therapy Explained)16:31 - "It’s Not Me, It’s Her": You Are the Client, Not the Caretaker22:18 - Email vs. Face-to-Face: How to Communicate the Breakup24:19 - Stop Over-Apologizing for Taking Up Space26:26 - Weekly Reset Homework: The "No Sorry" Challenge27:58 - Share Your Worst Therapy Stories & Outro-------------------------------------------------- 🔗 CONNECT & LISTEN: 📸 Follow on Instagram: @deafinitelynottheone🎵 Follow on TikTok: @deafinitelynottheone🟦 Join the Facebook Community: @deafinitelynottheone-------------------------------------------------- 📝 THIS WEEK'S HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT:Go an entire day without saying "sorry." Stop softening your boundaries, stop apologizing for asking questions, and stop saying "sorry" when stating your availability. "No" and "I can't" are complete sentences. Try it this week and report back in the comments!-------------------------------------------------- ⚖️ DISCLAIMER:The content presented in this video and podcast represents personal experiences, opinions, and general educational dialogue. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional medical, clinical, or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified healthcare or mental health provider regarding any individual health concerns or conditions.

  3. Aug 4

    Shedding Your Old Self: Setting Hard Boundaries & Overcoming People-Pleasing in Your 30s

    Are you holding onto a version of yourself that no longer serves where you're going? In this episode of DEAFinitely Not The One, Tori and Taja dive deep into what it really looks like to shed your old self, let go of 20s mindsets, and step into unshakeable boundaries in your 30s.We’re getting honest about the subtle ways we used to people-please, how self-abandonment sneaks into relationships and careers, and what happens when you choose your internal peace over a six-figure salary or societal expectations. 🔥 KEY TALKING POINTS:• Post-Check: Navigating school, career stress, and 5 layers of intimacy [00:00:40]• Shedding the Old Self: Why your 20s self feels like a "long-distance cousin" [00:03:14]• Unpacking Subtle People-Pleasing & Self-Abandonment [00:06:55]• "My Time Is Not To Be Played With": Standing firm on 30s boundaries [00:12:10]• Choosing Peace Over Status: Leaving 6-figure corporate careers [00:25:30]• Operating as "Human Beings" instead of "Human Doings" [00:29:00]📌 CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS:[00:00:00] Weekly Pulse Check & Life Updates[00:03:14] The Theme: Shedding Your Past Self & Identity Shifts[00:05:45] "I Don't Know Her": Looking Back at Your 20s[00:06:55] Identifying Hidden People-Pleasing & Self-Sabotage[00:12:10] Lowering Your Tolerance & Protecting Your Energy[00:18:00] Academia & Pivoting Careers in Your Mid-30s[00:25:30] Walking Away From 6-Figures to Find Inner Peace[00:29:00] Human Beings vs. Human Doings: Learning Patience[00:32:00] Episode Homework Challenge: Drop Your Old Habit Below!📝 WEEKLY HOMEWORK CHALLENGE:What is ONE old habit or pattern that no longer serves the new version of you? Drop yours in the comments below so we can keep each other accountable!💬 SUBSCRIBE & CONNECT WITH US:Follow along as we navigate dating, growth, career shifts, and real talk in our 30s.#SheddingOldSelf #BoundariesInYour30s #OvercomingPeoplePleasing #DEAFinitelyNotTheOne #SelfGrowth #CareerPivot #PersonalDevelopment

  4. Jul 28

    Why Abstinence Hits Different in Your 30s: Celibacy, FWB Traps & Setting Boundaries

    Are you taking a break from dating or rethinking who gets access to your body and energy? In this episode of DEAFinitely Not The One, we dive deep into the real difference between celibacy and abstinence—and why secular, non-religious singles are suddenly embracing abstinence in modern dating.From navigating "skin hunger" (touch deprivation) as a single adult to avoiding the Friends With Benefits (FWB) trap and breaking soul ties, we’re having an unfiltered conversation about taking your power back, setting boundaries on dating apps, and practicing your "Holy NO."🔥 KEY TALKING POINTS:• Celibacy vs. Abstinence: Spiritual commitment vs. circumstantial boundaries [00:03:46]• Purity vs. Power: Why withholding access in your 30s feels empowering [00:11:05]• The FWB Trap: Energy exchanges, lack of aftercare, and feeling empty [00:13:12]• Understanding "Skin Hunger": How to deal with touch deprivation while waiting [00:21:33]• Digital Dating App Boundaries: Saying NO to unsolicited expectations [00:25:35]• Overcommunicating & Red Flags: How to protect yourself before intimacy [00:29:05]📌 EPISODE TIMESTAMPS:[00:00:00] Intro & Winter Slowdown Check-In[00:01:44] Rating Our Self-Discipline (1–10 Scale)[00:03:46] Celibacy vs. Abstinence: Defining the Difference[00:05:43] Why Non-Religious Singles Are Choosing Abstinence[00:07:34] Taking a Break in Your 30s vs. Your 20s[00:11:05] Purity vs. Power: Guarding Your Access[00:13:12] Friends with Benefits & Energy Exchanges[00:15:29] Why "Aftercare" Matters in Intimacy[00:16:39] Soul Ties & Emotional Confusion[00:21:33] What is "Skin Hunger"? (Touch Deprivation Explained)[00:25:35] Navigating Dating Apps & Setting Firm Boundaries[00:29:05] Protection, Overcommunication & Spotting Red Flags[00:33:00] Reframing Abstinence: What Are You Gaining vs. Losing?[00:36:11] Big Sister Advice: Seeking Security over Temporary Fun[00:38:48] Weekly Challenge: Practicing Your "Holy NO"💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION:Where are you on your self-discipline scale right now (1-10)? Are you practicing celibacy, abstinence, or navigating modern dating? Drop your thoughts below!#DatingAdvice #Celibacy #Abstinence #ModernDating #DEAFinitelyNotTheOne #SoulTies #BoundarySetting #PodcastForWomen

  5. Jul 21

    Reinventing Yourself in Your 30s (Grad School, ADHD, & Overcoming Failure)

    Are you feeling stuck, paralyzed by options, or wondering if it's too late to completely reinvent yourself? In this episode of Deafinitely Not The One Podcast, we are opening up about our 1-year hiatus, returning to grad school in our 30s, navigating ADHD and academic paralysis, and why failing in the past doesn't mean your story is over. From pursuing a Master’s in Social Work & Human Sexuality to writing books while terrified, we’re talking about what it really takes to bet on yourself and write a "goodbye letter" to your past self.🔔 Subscribe to the channel for weekly conversations on growth, relationships, and unlearned lessons📍 TIMESTAMPS:00:00 - We Didn't Go Into Witness Protection (Why Silence Isn't Failure)01:23 - The Growing Up Era: Hitting Your 30s Different07:05 - Weekly Pulse Check & Overcoming Academic Anxiety08:25 - The Gut Health Challenge & Holistic Productivity12:20 - Dropping Perfectionism & Celebrating Small Wins14:00 - Failing Grad School in 2016 vs. Bouncing Back Now22:00 - Pursuing Sex Therapy, Human Sexuality, & Big Dreams24:20 - The Hidden Struggle of ADHD in Academics25:30 - Doing It Scared: Writing a Book When You Feel Stuck30:40 - Listener Homework: Write a Goodbye Letter to Your Past Self🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS MENTIONED:• 42 Day Glow Up Challenge (Gut Health Info): https://youtu.be/TXbg3ZUsdC8?si=0VCMhmuQmH40OS1v• Follow us on Instagram: @deafintelynottheone• Follow us on TikTok: @deafintelynottheone#Podcasting #ReinventYourself #GradSchoolInYour30s #ADHD #PersonalGrowth #DeafinitelyNotTheOne

  6. Jul 17

    Why Personal Growth Feels Like Grief: Outgrowing Your Friends

    Are you outgrowing your friends? Personal growth often feels like grief, and navigating the transition of changing social circles in your 20s and 30s can be incredibly isolating. Welcome back to DEAFinitely Not The One with Tori and Taja. In Episode 2, we dive deep into the raw, uncomfortable side of personal evolution: the grief of outgrowing your old self. As we transition through our careers, academic research, and personal lives, we often have to shed the habits, personas, and friendships we built in our twenties. We break down the "liminal space"—that awkward transition period where you are no longer who you were, but you aren't yet who you are becoming. If you’ve felt lonely, isolated, or guilty for evolving, this episode is your reminder that growth is a process, and you have to embrace it.Stay tuned until the end for this week’s "homework assignment"—a challenge to write a goodbye letter to a version of yourself you have officially outgrown. DEAFinitely Not The One is hosted by Tori and Taja, two millennial Deaf creators (Black and Latina) utilizing SimCom to bring you raw, strategic, and unapologetic conversations on career growth, modern dating, and mastering boundaries.✨ SUBSCRIBE for weekly episodes on mastering your boundaries, scaling your career, and owning your unique path.📊 TIMESTAMPS & TOPICS• [00:00:00] - Shaking Off the Dust: We are Back and Better• [00:03:18] - Protecting Your Space: "I am Fresh Out of Capacity"• [00:08:50] - "Titty Up": Standing Firm on Boundaries and Exiting Stage Left• [00:13:12] - Real Talk: Tori on Self-Forgiveness (Why I Had to Forgive Myself for Not Graduating Grad School)• [00:16:39] - Reconnecting with Old Friends: Can You Ever Go Back?• [00:19:20] - Growing Up vs. Getting Older: Leaving Petty Confrontations Behind• [00:22:04] - Unpacking Emotional Baggage: Are You Mentally Still 19?• [00:26:41] - Accountability: Admitting When You Are the Villain in Someone’s Story• [00:30:38] - Self-Checking: Using ChatGPT and Therapy to Check Your Attitude• [00:36:33] - Stop Venting, Start Solving: Steve Harvey’s Book & Turning Knowledge Into Wisdom• [00:41:13] - Managing Conflict: The "Mary at Work" Blueprint• [00:44:04] - Boundaries: Asking Friends If They Have the Capacity to Listen• [00:46:26] - Standing on "Big Business" & Outro Homework Assignment🎧 LISTEN ON:• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5nQT8pkgLLC0DSJ8WBbsFy• Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/deafinitely-not-the-one-podcast/id1732826246📱 CONNECT WITH US:• Instagram: @deafinitelynottheone• TikTok: @deafinitelynottheone• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PinkTaxChat🔗 EXPLORE MORE:• LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/deafinitelynottheoneShare your thoughts in the comments: What is one version of yourself you are ready to say goodbye to?#DEAFinitelyNotTheOne #DeafCreators #SimCom #PersonalEvolution #OutgrowingFriends #MillennialGrowth #GriefAndTransition #BoundarySetting

  7. Jul 10

    Life Isn't Linear: Overcoming a Hiatus & Choosing Growth | DEAFinitely Not The One Ep. 1

    We had some mic issues this week, but the gems in this episode were too good to lose. Audio is pristine for Episode 2—thanks for growing with us! --- Life is rarely a straight line, and taking a break doesn't mean you've stopped growing. Welcome to the premiere episode of DEAFinitely Not The One, hosted by Tori and Taja. After a one-year hiatus, we are back to challenge the status quo, drop the perfectionism, and talk about what it actually takes to rebuild, reset, and re-enter your life with intention.In Episode 1, we dismantle the cultural myth of the linear life path. We dive deep into our own recent journeys, framing our time away not as a simple stall, but as a mandatory period of personal and professional expansion. From conducting vital capacity checks to managing major life transitions—including academic research and book writing projects—we are breaking down how to protect your energy while scaling your ambitions. DEAFinitely Not The One is a space where career growth, millennial dating, and boundary setting intersect. As Black and Latina Deaf creators utilizing SimCom, we offer a distinct, intersectional perspective on navigating corporate spaces, modern relationships, and personal alignment. ✨ SUBSCRIBE for weekly episodes on mastering your boundaries, scaling your career, and owning your unique path.📊 RESOURCE & TIMESTAMPS0:00 - Introduction & The Re-Entry02:30 - The Capacity Check: Evaluating Your Energy06:15 - Debunking the Myth of the Linear Life Path12:40 - Behind the Scenes: Book Writing & Academic Research Updates18:50 - Defining Boundaries for the New Season23:10 - Final Takeaways & What's Next🔗 CONNECT WITH US• Instagram: @deafinitelynottheone• TikTok: @deafinitelynottheoneIf you enjoyed this episode, please leave a comment below sharing your thoughts on non-linear life paths. How do you handle your own capacity checks? #DEAFinitelyNotTheOne #DeafCreators #SimCom #CareerGrowth #SettingBoundaries #MillennialDating #PersonalGrowth #Intersectionality

  8. Season 2 Trailer

    Welcome to DEAFinitely Not The One | Finding Your Voice in a Noisy World

    Growth isn't linear—it’s an evolution. In this trailer, we pull back the curtain on the intersection of professional ambition and personal authenticity. We are exploring how to build a career on your own terms, the importance of embracing the messy process of transformation, and why setting boundaries is the most underrated tool for success. Whether you are navigating a career shift or trying to find your unique voice as a speaker, this show is a space for those who value integrity, strategy, and the courage to change. Join me as we build, pivot, and evolve. #BoundarySetting #PodcastLaunch #DeafCreators #MillennialWomen #DeafPodcast #PodcastTrailer #CareerGrowth

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Trailer

About

Welcome to DEAFinitely Not The One—the podcast where life, career, and boundaries get a masterclass in unfiltered, grown-up talk. We’re Tori and Taja, two millennial women navigating the world, sharing our journeys, and keeping it real. After a necessary hiatus, we’re back, rebranded, and bolder than ever. If you’re looking for authentic, witty, and insightful conversations from a perspective that’s as unique as it is relatable, you’ve found your new favorite space. Join us as we unpack the evolution of our lives and dive into the conversations that matter. Subscribe and join the evolution.

Information

  • Creator
    Deafinitely Not The One
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    50
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Deafinitely Not The One
  • Show Website
    Deafinitely Not The One Podcast