Drop the Mask - For Nice Guys and People Pleaser

Frederik Herre
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For the men who’ve always been “nice” — and are tired of getting overlooked, friendzoned, or are just not getting what they truly crave. If you’ve built a life everybody approves of on the outside but feels off inside, this podcast is for you. Hi I am Frederik — recovering nice guy turned men´s coach. Come drop the mask, and ask yourself the question "What do I want" (maybe for the first time) together with me. Welcome to your safe space.

  1. 10/24/2025

    #003 - Why the Path to Happiness Feels So Wrong

    Hey, it’s Frederik. This conversation goes straight into the “honest mirror.” If you’ve ever felt numb, over-rational, or stuck in achievement mode while you know, that there has to be more out there. THis one is for you! I’m joined by Carly Stephan, creator of the Personal Light Grid Activation—a somatic way of reconnecting your body’s “points of light” so you can feel grounded, clear, and alive again. We talk about the long journey from head to heart, why comfort and convenience keep us disconnected, emotions as signals (not problems to fix), fear of rejection, and how to begin with simple curiosity.  In this episode: • Head vs heart in Western culture—and how to recalibrate • Numbness, micro-traumas, and why embodiment matters • Heart coherence as a practical bridge between physiology and emotion • Men, fear, and “Can I still love myself after a ‘no’?” • A gentler way to start: follow childlike curiosity, not another 10-step plan 

    1h 2m

  2. 09/18/2025

    Why Relationships Require Risk (Especially for Nice Guys) - Nice Guy Pattern #4

    I recently had two conversations with friends — and both revealed a painful pattern I know many Nice Guys carry: the fear of hurting others. It feels noble, right? To protect someone from pain, to hold yourself back until you’re “healed enough.” But if you are really honest with yourself, most of the time, it’s not about protecting *them*. It’s about protecting *you*. From discomfort. From rejection. From being seen as the bad guy. And in doing so, you not only deny them the chance to choose for themselves — you also deny yourself the life and love you want. In this episode, we break down: - Why avoiding pain is not noble, but fear in disguise - How “protecting her” is really about avoiding your own emotions - Why trust means letting others handle their own pain - How courage in love means risking heartbreak

    12 min

  3. 09/04/2025

    Why You Feel the Need to Solve Everyone’s Problems - Nice Guy Pattern #3

    This week, we’re looking at a subtle but powerful Nice Guy pattern: the urge to fix others. Maybe you recognize it, that you always try to solve people’s problems, lighten their moods, or “fix” their anger and sadness. On the surface, it feels caring. But underneath, it often hides fear: fear of rejection, conflict, or being outcast. I know how this is! For many years, I thought my worth came from being the one who could help, the one who made things better and I was very proud of it. Until I realised - it is a trauma response. It’s survival. It doesn´t come from inspiration but from fear. And I can´t stop doing it…even if I want to. In this episode, I’ll share stories of how this pattern shaped my friendships and emotions, and how you can begin to break free from it.

    10 min

  4. 08/28/2025

    The Fear That Keeps You From Speaking Your Truth - (Nice Guy Myth #2)

    I used to be proud that I could get along with everyone. That I could fit into any group and be liked by almost anybody. But here’s the truth I later realized: that came at a cost. To be liked, I had to hide my needs, my emotions, even my mistakes. I became a shapeshifter — generous, peaceful, helpful — but not truly me. In this episode, I share how people-pleasing turned me into someone I wasn’t, why it disconnects your head from your heart, and the single most powerful question that helped me come back to my authentic self.

    10 min

  5. 08/22/2025

    Why Always Giving Is Slowly Poisoning Your Relationships - (Nice Guy Myth #1)

    Today we’re talking about one of the most common Nice Guy patterns: Giving more than you get. On the surface, it looks kind and selfless. But underneath? There’s often a hidden contract — an unspoken expectation that others should return the favor. The problem is, no one else knows about this contract. So you give, and give, and give… and when nothing comes back, resentment grows. I’ve been in this situation. It’s exhausting, and it’s not who you truly!! are.

    7 min

  6. 07/28/2025

    Men Are Struggling Too — And No One Talks About It, Why Men Are Numb And Lonely (Public Speech)

    I wrote this speech to shine a light on male pain and struggle, because I feel there’s a growing gap — especially online — between the genders. Both sides are hurting, and both struggle to truly understand the other’s pain. Since I’m a man, I can only speak from that side of the experience. Social media, in particular, has become increasingly toxic toward men — often invalidating their feelings, labeling them as privileged, or painting them solely as beneficiaries of the patriarchy. While there are structural issues and outdated mindsets that need to shift, I believe no one grows from a place of blame and shame. There are countless young men out there — playing video games all day, isolated, without close friends — using porn as just one way to numb the pain. Many of them have grown up without role models or mentors, trying to figure it out all on their own. I know how that feels. Because I was one of them. I don’t believe the world becomes a better place by constantly calling men out — that cycle only deepens the wounds, and in the end, it hurts women too. I believe in a world where men receive the mentorship and emotional guidance they’ve longed for. Where they are supported in becoming the best, most grounded, and safest versions of themselves. And I believe that this is what will ultimately make the world a more beautiful place — for all of us.

    6 min

  7. 07/07/2025

    #001 - 7 Hidden Habits That Keep Nice Guys Lonely

    What if being the “nice guy” is what’s keeping you stuck? You show up. You’re kind. You keep things together. But inside, something feels off. Like no one really sees you. In this episode, I talk about that feeling — and how I lived with it for a long time without really knowing it. We explore how so many of us, especially as men, learn to hide our emotions, stay quiet about our needs, and try to be “good” just to feel safe. Not to blame. Not to fix anything. Just to be real with what’s there — and maybe feel a little less alone. Here’s what we explore 👇 - Why “being nice” can leave us feeling unseen and disconnected - How we learn to shut down our emotions without even noticing - Why we can not express your needs, wants and boundaries - What it means to be a Nice Guy So..…you are not alone!

    23 min

  8. 07/04/2025

    Podcast Update + Jahresrückblick (ehrliches Tagebuch eines Nice Guy)

    In der heutigen Episode schaue ich zurück auf das letzte Jahr und rede über das Update dieses Channels und wie es weitergehen wird. Seit dem ich das Video aufgenommen habe, habe ich mich entschlossen in Richtung Coaching für Nice Guys und People Pleaser zu gehen und habe dafür auch einen neuen Channel aufgemacht. Ich werde dort ausschließlich englischen Content hochladen, da ich viel als Digitaler Nomade unterwegs bin und es mich immer genervt hat, wenn ich neue Menschen treffe und ihnen dann sagen muss, dass mein Podcast leider nur auf Deutsch ist, obwohl Interesse besteht ihn mal anzuschauen. Ich werde mich hauptsächlich auf IG und YT konzentrieren.

    18 min
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About

For the men who’ve always been “nice” — and are tired of getting overlooked, friendzoned, or are just not getting what they truly crave. If you’ve built a life everybody approves of on the outside but feels off inside, this podcast is for you. Hi I am Frederik — recovering nice guy turned men´s coach. Come drop the mask, and ask yourself the question "What do I want" (maybe for the first time) together with me. Welcome to your safe space.

Information

  • Creator
    Frederik Herre
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2025
  • Episodes
    16
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2024, Frederik Herre, Drop the Mask Podcast. All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, derived, or otherwise used without prior written permission.
  • Show Website
    Drop the Mask - For Nice Guys and People Pleaser