What happens when the advice meant to help us succeed slowly teaches us to distrust our own voice? This episode is a replay of a fantastic conversation I had with Amy Lynn Durham, founder of Create Magic At Work and Magic Thread Media. The conversation aired on HER hit podcast Create Magic at Work back in June. And I’ll tell you, this one really hit a nerve with her listeners so I knew I had to share it on The Edge of Everyday. For years, women have been given advice about how to sound more confident, more authoritative, more professional, more “executive.” We’re told to eliminate filler words, avoid vocal fry, speak with more certainty, temper our emotions, stop saying “Does that make sense?” and learn how to project power. But who decided what powerful sounds like? And what happens when the qualities that make someone thoughtful, collaborative, emotionally intelligent, relational, or genuinely curious are interpreted as signs of weakness rather than strength? In this conversation, we unpack the hidden assumptions behind executive presence and the double standards that can shape how credibility and authority are perceived. We explore the subtle ways we learn to soften, edit, second-guess, or even abandon parts of ourselves in order to be heard. We also look at what can happen when we stop treating presence as a performance. Because authentic presence isn't simply about speaking louder or taking up more space. Sometimes it lives in a breath. A pause. A story. A moment of silence. The willingness to let yourself be seen before you have perfectly rehearsed what you're going to say. And sometimes the most powerful thing we can do isn't learn to sound more powerful. It's trust our own voice enough to use it. Moments That Create Momentum 1. Fixing Women—or Fixing the Room? Why does communication advice so often focus on changing women rather than examining the environments in which women are being evaluated? 2. When Authenticity Gets Mistaken for Weakness What happens when collaboration, emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and relational language are interpreted differently depending on who is speaking? 3. The Hidden Cost of Second-Guessing Yourself From “Does that make sense?” to carefully editing our words, tone, and emotions, we explore the subtle ways self-doubt can become part of our communication. 4. Silence Is Part of the Voice Presence isn't always about speaking faster, louder, or more often. Sometimes confidence sounds like a thoughtful pause—and the willingness not to fill every silence. 5. The Stories We’re Afraid to Tell The experiences we minimize, hide, or dismiss can sometimes contain the very stories that help us understand who we are and what we have to say. 6. Presence Beyond Performance Breath, body, intention, mindfulness, storytelling, and genuine connection can create trust and influence without requiring us to become someone we're not. About Amy Lynn Durham Amy Lynn Durham, known to her clients as the Corporate Mystic, is the founder of Create Magic At Work®, an executive coaching firm helping leaders build workplaces rooted in creativity, collaboration, and fulfillment. A former corporate executive turned Executive Coach, Amy blends practical leadership strategies with spiritual intelligence to unlock human potential at work. She is certified through UC Berkeley and the International Coaching Federation (ICF), with additional certifications in Spiritual Intelligence (SQ21), the Edgewalker Profile, and Archetypes of Change. Amy is also the host of the Create Magic At Work® podcast, author of Create Magic At Work® and Creating Career Magic: A Daily Prompt Journal, and founder of Magic Thread Media™. Through her work, Amy inspires intentional leadership—and helps people create thriving workplaces and lives where “magic” becomes reality. Connect with Amy: https://createmagicatwork.net/ LinkedIn: Create Magic At Work Facebook: Create Magic At Work Instagram: @createmagicatwork YouTube: @createmagicatwork About Sandra Bargman I help people find and express a more truthful presence through voice, storytelling, and deep listening. My work draws on decades as a professinal actor, singer, director, coach, and as a spiritual counselor, bringing together vocal technique with emotional intelligence, mindfulness, breath and body awareness, and the transformative power of story. My signature B.I.G. Approach explores Breath and Body, Intention, and Genuineness—because powerful communication isn't simply about what we say. It's about how fully we inhabit ourselves when we say it. Whether I'm working one-on-one or with a group, my goal is not to teach people how to sound like someone else. It's to help them hear themselves more clearly—and have the courage to let that voice be heard. Continue the Conversation If this episode resonates with you, I'd love to hear from you. What have you been told about the way you should speak, lead, or show up? And what might change if, instead of asking “How can I sound more powerful?”, you began asking: “What would it sound like to trust myself?” Listen to more conversations about voice, identity, story, presence, and the questions that live at the edge of everyday life on The Edge of Everyday. Mentioned in this episode: This show was brought to you in part by the Magic Thread Media Network. To learn more visit: https://magicthreadmedia.com/
