Soul Bruises

Christie Hodson
  • 5.0 (2)
  • RELIGION
  • UPDATED SEMIMONTHLY

 As a lifelong believer in Christ, I’ve grown weary of witnessing harm within spiritual settings. I’m tired of pretending it isn’t happening or convincing myself that spiritual abuse isn’t a serious issue—one that not only plagues the church but is also spreading beyond religious institutions. This is why the Soul Bruises podcast was created. It’s dedicated to exposing, educating, and ultimately working toward the eradication of spiritual abuse in all its forms. Whether you can relate to my experiences or bring your own perspective to the table, I hope Soul Bruises offers a balanced and thorough exploration of the issue. Whether you’re a spiritual leader, a member of a church, or someone with no connection to God or religion, I challenge you to reconsider your assumptions about spiritual abuse. I encourage you to tune in.  With each episode, I hope you gain a clearer understanding of what spiritual abuse is, how it manifests in religious and non-religious settings, who it affects, and why it’s crucial to address it with honesty and purpose.

  1. NOV 29

    Episode 22 - Your Nervous System Is Not Sinning; It Is Protecting You! - Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn through Spiritual Abuse

    Send us a text FREEZE YouTube Video of Bobi Gephart confronting Pastor John Lowe II  (13:39) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4Sh2-Peefo FIGHT YouTube Video of "Remembering Jennifer Lyell" (5:37) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7ekxdMchxA FLIGHT Who are the 2 x 2's? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83DZdzxpR84 (Short Version - 1:58) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o_vTxBShFA (Long Version - 16:10) FAWN Mars Hill Pastor Mark Driscoll https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQopCn4MFwM (10:52) The Rise & Fall of Mars Hill Podcast (Episode 1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Cou36nSmJY "When Religion Hurts You" Dr. Laura Anderson What is Religious Trauma? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjdBoBOhXvA (short clip) 4 Trauma Responses (Dr. Alex Howard) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQDRrs-a8A (6:28) *************************************************************************************************This episode of Soul Bruises explains how fight, flight, freeze, and fawn show up in faith spaces and why they are survival, not sin. We share real stories, practical regulation tools, and a path from shame to curiosity so survivors can rebuild safety, voice, and trust. • defining spiritual abuse and the autonomic nervous system • clear explanations of fight, flight, freeze and fawn • how churches mislabel trauma responses as moral failings • scenarios that map all four responses in a church conflict • whistleblowing, delayed disclosure and high control groups • tend and befriend versus fawning and why it matters • practical regulation skills and boundary setting • moving from survival to healing with supportive community • recommended reading: When Religion Hurts You by Dr Laura Anderson You can reach me at soulbruises@gmail.com or send me a message on Instagram at SoulBruises2023 "Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

    56 min

  2. OCT 12

    Episode 21 - Restoring the Flock: God’s Blueprint for Healing After Collective Trauma (Featuring: Pastor Kayleigh Clark)

    Send us a text In this podcast episode with our guest, Pastor & scholar Kayleigh Clark we  explore how collective trauma reshapes churches, why language and listening matter, how sometimes the first step of finding healing a church is about asking the right questions, and how new shepherds can gather what harm scattered. She shares a path from lament to restoration with trauma-informed ministry, empathetic witness, and patient trust-building. Additional topics, references, website & terms mentioned below. • Defining collective trauma and loss of communality • The body of Christ keeps the score as a diagnostic lens • COVID’s disruption, decision fatigue, and grief in congregations • Betrayal trauma and why defenses form around leaders • Jeremiah 23, negligent shepherds, and God’s new shepherds • Using careful, descriptive language before hard labels • Pastors’ secondary traumatic stress and pastoral self-care • After-pastors, church splits, and rebuilding safety • Theology that heals vs theologies that harm and shame • Shifting diagnosis from behaviors to “what happened to us” • Revitalization & Reformation.... with Restoration as a third path to consider • Lament, middle-space testimonies, and empathetic witnessing • Reading scriptures through the eyes of the sufferer • Practical methods to restore trust and communality YOUTUBE EPISODE LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rREm75DGcgk Check out Restor(y) resources at restorycenter.com Restor(y) is a nonprofit founded by Pastor Kayleigh Clark whose mission is to accompany churches through healing, restoration, and wholeness  Link to article of "New Shepherds For A Hurting Church https://www.restorycenter.com/blog/new-shepherds-for-a-hurting-church A Theological Framework for Religious Trauma (Short Video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSIpj-NhhnA  Kayleigh's Blog on Restor(y) https://www.restorycenter.com/blog Jeremiah 23  NIV https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/search=Jeremiah%2023&version=NIV  TERMS Secondary Trauma  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_trauma   DARVO is an acronym that describes a common pattern of behavior used by individuals—often abusers or manipulators—when they are confronted about their harmful actions. It stands for: D – Deny, A – Attack, RVO – Reverse Victim and Offender Soul Bruises Episode on DARVO https://www.buzzsprout.com/2240617/episodes/16013641  Collective trauma happens when a whole community or group of people goes through something deeply painful or disruptive—like abuse, conflict, disaster, or loss—and it impacts not just individuals, but the relationships, trust, and identity of the entire group. Betrayal trauma refers to the psychological harm that occurs when someone experiences a profound violation of trust or safety by a person or system they depend on for protection, care, or support. Communality refers to the quality or state of sharing things in common — a sense of belonging, mutual responsibility, and connection within a group or community  "Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

    1h 47m

  3. SEP 12

    Episode 20 - Breaking Out Of The Cage: Rebellion, Misplaced Loyalty and Authentic Faith - Part 3 of 3 (Featuring Pastor/Chaplain Kristy Hodson)

    Send us a text What happens when your spirituality becomes a battleground? When your voice, appearance, and very humanity are treated as problems to be fixed rather than gifts to be celebrated? Pastor and Chaplain, Kristy Hodson takes us deep into her journey through high-control religion, revealing the subtle yet devastating ways spiritual abuse can damage our connection to both community and the divine. With remarkable honesty, she shares how attempting to create positive change from within left her "bitter, resentful, and tired" as she faced resistance for simply refusing to make herself smaller. The conversation explores the unique challenges faced by women in patriarchal religious systems, where something as simple as correcting someone who addresses a room of pastors as "gentlemen" can lead to being labeled a "militant feminist." Kristy explains how the box of conformity becomes a cage, trapping both those who perpetrate spiritual abuse and those who experience it. Most powerfully, Kristy offers a profound reframing of how we talk about spiritual abuse: "My spirituality was abused by what you did. My soul was harmed and damaged." This shift centers the impact rather than debating whether actions qualify as abuse, making space for true healing to begin. For anyone who has felt their authentic spiritual self diminished by religious control, this episode offers both validation and hope. Kristy's journey toward healing includes learning to trust herself again, finding supportive community, and remembering who she was "before trauma gave me a detour." Her message resonates with unmistakable clarity: You are not alone, your voice matters, and true faith gives you a voice, not a muzzle. Join us for this essential conversation about breaking free from spiritual control and rediscovering an authentic connection to faith that honors your whole being. Wherever you are on your spiritual journey, this episode invites you to remember that you belong and that your spirituality is worth defending. "Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

    1h 12m

  4. AUG 22

    Episode 19 - Breaking Out Of The Cage: Rebellion, Misplaced Loyalty and Authentic Faith - Part 2 of 3 (Featuring Pastor/Chaplain Kristy Hodson)

    Send us a text What parts of yourself have you cut off to fit into someone else's spiritual mold? In this raw and revealing conversation, Pastor Kristy Hodson shares her journey through a high-control religious environment where authenticity was often sacrificed on the altar of conformity. Drawing from Brené Brown's powerful distinction—"Fitting in is about becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are" Kristy explores how religious systems can demand we amputate essential parts of ourselves to belong. Using the Brothers Grimm version of Cinderella as a striking metaphor, she describes how the stepsisters literally cut off toes to fit into the glass slipper, paralleling how believers are sometimes asked to cut away authentic pieces of themselves to fit religious expectations. The seemingly trivial battles over jewelry, coffee drinking, and social media posts mask deeper control mechanisms that stifle critical thinking and personal expression. Kristy's powerful question—"How much about myself do you want me to lie about?"—challenges us to consider the spiritual cost of conformity.  Through her story, we witness the exhausting cycle of trying to change a system from within, only to discover that true freedom comes not from rebellion but from creating your own existence from scratch. This conversation isn't about abandoning faith but finding authentic expression within it. Whether you've experienced spiritual abuse, felt like an outsider in religious spaces, or simply question whether you can be fully yourself while maintaining your faith, this episode offers healing perspectives on belonging without conforming. Join us as we explore how to embrace our whole selves—questions, uniqueness, and authentic expression—in our spiritual journeys. "Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

    1h 45m

  5. JUL 30

    Episode 18 - Breaking Out Of The Cage: Rebellion, Misplaced Loyalty and Authentic Faith - Part 1 of 3 (Featuring Pastor/Chaplain Kristy Hodson)

    Send us a text "Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

    1h 20m

  6. JUL 1

    Episode 17- Soul Cuffs: How Churches Turn Devotion Into Chains (Distorted Loyalty)

    Send us a text What happens when your loyalty to God becomes twisted into a weapon against your own soul? In this deeply insightful exploration of distorted loyalty, we unravel how spiritual abuse manipulates our noblest virtues into chains of obligation and fear. Distorted loyalty isn't just about misplacing your allegiance—it's about how that loyalty functions internally, creating an agonizing inner turmoil that makes you stay in harmful religious environments despite recognizing the damage being done. This episode carefully distinguishes between healthy devotion and the twisted version that leaves you feeling trapped, silenced, and spiritually hostage. Through powerful real-life scenarios, we examine six harmful narratives where distorted loyalty manifests: refusing to address abuse to "avoid division," judging other Christians who don't conform to denominational expectations, equating leaving a church with betraying God, treating questioning as rebellion, reframing silence about wrongdoing as spiritual maturity, and merging personal identity so completely with group identity that departure feels like self-annihilation. Most dangerously, fear-based obedience replaces authentic faith, leading people to stay in abusive systems not from love but from terror of rejection, punishment, or eternal consequences. This distortion fuels what some call "Spiritual Stockholm Syndrome," where victims emotionally attach to and defend the very religious systems harming them. For anyone caught in these webs of twisted obligation, this episode offers profound validation and hope. You're not crazy for recognizing harm. You're not betraying God by protecting yourself. In fact, walking away from what damages your soul might be the first authentic step toward Him in a very long time. Because true loyalty should never demand the sacrifice of your conscience, dignity, or voice. Have you experienced distorted loyalty in your spiritual journey? How did you recognize it, and what helped you break free? Share your story and join our community working toward healthier, more honest expressions of faith. "Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

    36 min

  7. JUN 1

    Episode 16 - Misplaced Loyalty: Are We Loyal to Christ, or Our Tribe?

    Send us a text Misplaced loyalty in religious settings occurs when commitment to institutions trumps truth, justice, and human dignity. This harmful dynamic enables spiritual abuse by silencing those who recognize problems, creating environments where manipulation and control thrive under the guise of faithfulness. • Institutional cover-ups of abuse scandals (Catholic Church, Southern Baptist Convention) prioritize reputation over justice • Theological isolation creates echo chambers where learning from other traditions is discouraged • Gender-based restrictions in ministry show loyalty to tradition over recognizing spiritual gifts • Discouraging questions treats curiosity as rebellion and suppresses critical thinking • Refusing cross-denominational cooperation promotes division over unity in Christ's body • Elevating denominational rules over loving people creates legalistic environments • Silence about racism, sexism and abuse within churches to "keep the peace" • Fear of leaving toxic religious environments due to identity entrapment and loss of community Join me for the next episode where we'll explore distorted loyalty and how these two concepts work together to create spiritually harmful environments. "Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

    39 min

  8. APR 18

    Episode 15 - Your Mind Is Not Their Property: How High Controlled Groups Manipulate Thought - Spiritual Abuse Tactics & Behaviors 5 of 12 (Part 2)

    Send us a text Show Note Links: Allender Center: https://theallendercenter.org/ Allender Center Podcast: https://theallendercenter.org/category/podcast/ Restore Conference: https://julieroys.com/restore/ "The Roys Report" Podcast: https://julieroys.com/podcast/ Steven Hassan's Influence Continuum: https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/influence-continuum/ Steven Hassans BITE Model of Authoritarian Control: https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/ Dr. Janja Lalich website & resources: https://www.lalichcenter.org/ Description of the Episode: Mind control represents the most dangerous form of psychological manipulation in religious settings, designed to influence and dominate a person's thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors without their awareness. • Differences between Mind Control, Brainwashing, Thought Reform, and Bounded Choice • Steven Hassan's BITE model (Behavior, Information, Thought, Emotional control) explaining psychological control techniques • Historical examples of mind control including the Nazi regime, Scientology, and the Stanford Prison Experiment • How high-control groups exploit normal human desires for belonging and connection • Dr. Janja Lalich's Bounded Choice Theory explaining why people remain in controlling groups • Warning signs that a religious organization may be using mind control tactics • The importance of maintaining autonomy and critical thinking in spiritual contexts • Robert J. Lifton's eight criteria for thought reform environments • Resources for those affected by spiritual abuse including the Allender Center & The Restore Conference Faith should not be about living in fear or control. Christ offers freedom, not bondage. Your spiritual journey belongs to you and you have the right to seek truth for yourself. "Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

    1h 9m
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

 As a lifelong believer in Christ, I’ve grown weary of witnessing harm within spiritual settings. I’m tired of pretending it isn’t happening or convincing myself that spiritual abuse isn’t a serious issue—one that not only plagues the church but is also spreading beyond religious institutions. This is why the Soul Bruises podcast was created. It’s dedicated to exposing, educating, and ultimately working toward the eradication of spiritual abuse in all its forms. Whether you can relate to my experiences or bring your own perspective to the table, I hope Soul Bruises offers a balanced and thorough exploration of the issue. Whether you’re a spiritual leader, a member of a church, or someone with no connection to God or religion, I challenge you to reconsider your assumptions about spiritual abuse. I encourage you to tune in.  With each episode, I hope you gain a clearer understanding of what spiritual abuse is, how it manifests in religious and non-religious settings, who it affects, and why it’s crucial to address it with honesty and purpose.

Information

  • Creator
    Christie Hodson
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2025
  • Episodes
    22
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Soul Bruises
  • Show Website
    Soul Bruises