Fostering Conversations with Utah Foster Care

Utah Foster Care
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Utah Foster Care guides real and raw conversations about parenting for bio, foster, adoptive or blended families to increase understanding of issues we all experience as families. Utah Foster Care's mission is to develop innovative strategies to help recruit, train, and retain foster families.

  1. 6d ago

    Ep 74: Comfort and Care

    “Every single child deserves a foundation. Every child deserves to know there’s someone there rooting them on, and every child deserves to know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally.” — Rob Scheer Episode 74: Comfort and Care What happens when a child enters foster care carrying everything they own in a trash bag? For Rob Scheer, it is more than a heartbreaking image. It is a reality he lived. In this powerful episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith sits down with foster care advocate, author, and Comfort Cases founder Rob Scheer to discuss his journey from foster youth and homelessness to becoming a nationally recognized champion for children in care. Together, they explore the urgent need for dignity, support, and community in the foster care system. Key Takeaways Children in Foster Care Need More Than a Place to Stay A new placement can be frightening and uncertain. Something as simple as pajamas, a blanket, toiletries, and a stuffed animal can help a child feel seen, valued, and cared for on one of the hardest nights of their life. Dignity Matters Rob Scheer founded Comfort Cases after seeing firsthand how foster youth were still carrying their belongings in trash bags. Today, the organization provides backpacks, duffel bags, essential items, mentorship opportunities, and scholarships to young people in care. A Forever Family Can Come at Any Age One of the most touching moments of the episode is the story of Alex, a foster youth who aged out of care but eventually found permanence through adult adoption into the Scheer family. Healing Often Begins with Forgiveness Rob Scheer candidly shares his struggles with addiction, suicide attempts, and the difficult process of forgiving his parents. His story is a reminder that healing is not linear, but hope is always possible.   Support for Youth Aging Out of Foster Care Comfort Cases offers: Scholarships for trade schools, colleges, and continuing education Mentorship opportunities Support resources for foster youth and young adults Comfort Cases and Comfort XL duffel bags for children entering care   Connect With Comfort Cases and Utah Foster Care Learn more about foster care, adoption, and ways to support children and families in your community: Visit Comfort Cases to learn more. https://utahfostercare.org

  2. Jul 7

    Ep 73: Fostering in Small Towns

    In this heartfelt episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith sits down with Ellie Barlow, a dedicated foster parent from a rural Utah community. Ellie shares her family’s remarkable journey fostering 22 children, adopting five, and navigating the unique challenges of raising high-needs youth far from urban resources. From building a thriving support system in a small town to parenting children with trauma, autism, and medical fragility, Ellie offers honest insight and practical wisdom for foster and adoptive families alike. The conversation highlights the importance of partnership in marriage, trauma-informed care, community involvement, and the powerful beauty of reunification. What You’ll Learn What fostering looks like in rural communities How to prepare for high-needs placements Why being on the same page with your partner is critical The impact of trauma-informed parenting tools like TBRI How to build a support system when resources are limited The emotional realities of foster care and reunification Key Topics Covered Rural foster care challenges and creative solutions Supporting children with trauma, RAD, and autism The importance of training and ongoing education Community support and how others can help foster families Emotional resilience and self-care strategies A powerful reunification story that redefines success Memorable Takeaway Foster care is both deeply challenging and profoundly meaningful. As Ellie shares, “You don’t have to be perfect to step in. Showing up with consistency, compassion, and commitment can change lives.”

  3. Jun 9

    Ep 72: Pride in Every Home

    In this special Pride Month episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith speaks with Jessica and Giselle, a Utah foster care couple, about their journey into fostering and building a loving, inclusive family. They share how a chance encounter at a community event led them to foster care, ultimately resulting in the adoption of their first placement and the addition of another sibling to their home. Their story highlights the importance of representation, support, and belonging for children in care, especially those who identify as LGBTQ+. This episode explores: What it’s like to foster as an LGBTQ+ family Why belonging matters for every child How foster parents can support youth who come out The role of community, acceptance, and chosen family Simple ways anyone can be an ally Jessica and Giselle offer practical advice for foster parents and encouraging words for youth navigating identity and acceptance. Their message is clear: every child deserves to feel safe, celebrated, and loved. Learn more about supporting LGBTQ+ youth in foster care: Visit the Utah Foster Care LGBTQ+ Resource Page Transcript: ep72_jun26 [00:00:00] Happy Pride Month. This episode, we’re talking with Jessica and Giselle, a local lesbian couple who shares their insights on what it’s like to be part of the LGBTQ+ community Amy: Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Jessica and Giselle who are licensed Utah foster care parents, and we are excited to have them. Thanks for being with us today. Jessica: Thank you. We’re excited to be here. Amy: It’s June, it’s Pride Month, and you are a local L-G-B-T-Q family, and we are excited to get your perspective on what that is like. So tell us a little bit about what got you into fostering. Just give us [00:01:00] a little bit of background so our listeners kind of know who they’re listening to. Jessica: Yeah, I’m Jessica, my wife Giselle is right here with me. We have always wanted a family. We’ve been together almost six years and we just, we always knew that we wanted kids eventually. As you do know, there are lots of ways for LGBTQ plus families to start a family, And we started really looking into all the options. We looked into adoption, we looked into IVF, we did look into foster care a little bit initially and. We kind of were thinking it was gonna go a different route. We actually went in 2023 on Mother’s Day. We went to the zoo where they were having a Mother’s day celebration. And there were different organizations there. And we had gotten an email from the zoo and they said that someone was there and they were gonna be giving away. an IVF. To a family so you could enter into this contest and you could potentially win the chance to do IVF because as a lot of you know, it’s not cheap. We thought, let’s go, let’s take our chances, l...

  4. May 12

    Ep 71: First-Time Fostering

    In this episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith welcomes back Laura from Foster Parenting to discuss her first book, First Time Fostering. Designed as a practical field guide, the book brings together real-world strategies, scripts, and community-sourced wisdom to support new foster and kinship caregivers. Laura explains why she created a manual that caregivers can jump into by topic, rather than reading cover to cover. The conversation explores how the book helps families who are licensed, waiting for placement, or already feeling overwhelmed. They dive into what caregivers can control inside their homes, from building trust and connection to handling sleep, food, boundaries, and hard conversations.  Amy and Laura also discuss preparing friends and family for fostering, responding to inappropriate questions, advocating with caseworkers, knowing when to say no to a placement, and supporting permanent children already in the home. This episode offers reassurance, validation, and practical tools for foster parents at every stage. In this episode, you’ll hear: Why First Time Fostering was written as a practical, topic-based field guide How new foster parents can use the book when they feel overwhelmed What caregivers can control inside their homes, even when the system feels chaotic The power of scripts and role-play for hard parenting moments How to prepare friends, family, and community before placements arrive Ways to respond to inappropriate or insensitive questions Why saying no to a placement can sometimes be the most supportive choice The importance of putting agreements with caseworkers in writing How fostering impacts permanent children in the home Why flexibility and reassessment are essential throughout the year Resources mentioned: First Time Fostering by Laura Available through major retailers via https://firsttimefostering.com Follow Laura on Instagram at Foster.Parenting Learn more about foster care in Utah at Utah Foster Care Transcript Amy: Tune in to today’s episode we chat with Laura from Foster Parenting. Talking about her first book a must read for all foster parents. Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Laura from Foster Parenting. That is what she’s known for on her Instagram, and she’s joining us again for the second podcast and we’re so excited to have her. Thanks for being here, Laura. Laur...

  5. Apr 7

    Ep 70: Still Standing

    In this powerful episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith sits down with former foster youth Carlos Rios Redd to talk about lived experience in foster care, sibling separation, adoption disruption, resilience, and hope. Carlos entered foster care as a baby, lived in more than ten homes, and experienced three adoptions. Despite repeated trauma and instability, Carlos shares how relationships, faith, and supportive families helped shape the life he leads today. Now married and working as a K9 handler with the Utah Highway Patrol, Carlos reflects on how growing up in foster care influenced his compassion, maturity, and commitment to service. His story offers meaningful insight for foster parents, youth currently in care, and professionals who work within the child welfare system. In this episode, we discuss: What it is like to grow up in foster care and experience multiple adoptions The impact of sibling separation and staying connected Reconnecting with biological siblings after years apart Being a permanent child in a fostering household Resilience, healing, and allowing yourself to be loved Advice for youth currently in foster care Why maintaining relationships matters long after placements end Carlos speaks honestly about trauma without bitterness and shares why he believes connection is one of the most powerful tools for healing. Resources mentioned in this episode: Learn more about foster care in Utah: Utah Foster Care If you are a foster parent, considering fostering, or supporting youth in care, this episode offers perspective that is both grounding and hopeful. Transcript; Speaker: Join us for one of the most important aspects of foster care, former foster youth. Today we talk with Carlos who has gone through multiple homes and multiple adoption, and now he’s thriving. Amy: Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have a former foster youth, Carlos Rios-Redd. Thanks for being with us today, Carlos. Carlos: thank you for the invitation. Glad to be here. Amy: Yeah, we’re so excited to chat with you. I think this is one of the most important sides of foster care to discuss is the lived experience. So would you just introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about your story? Carlos: My name’s Carlos Rios-Redd shred. I grew up in foster care through the system about at a year old, and then lived through, 10 homes within 10 years and been adopted three different times. And, I guess left the system through adoption at the age of 14, but really never left because we always had kids coming into our home as well. So I was able to see both sides of the spectrum on, on the foster care system. Amy: Yeah. So you’v...

  6. Mar 10

    Ep 69: Reunification

    In Episode 69, Amy Smith sits down with longtime foster and adoptive mom Crystal Dukes for a heartfelt conversation about the real purpose of foster care: reunification. Crystal shares her family’s journey fostering more than 30 children, adopting through both private adoption and foster care, and developing deep, lasting relationships with biological families. This episode offers a candid, uplifting look at what it truly means to support reunification even when it’s challenging, emotional, and full of unknowns. What We Discuss • Why reunification is the primary goal of foster care • Crystal’s early experiences as a new foster parent and the mindset shift she had to make • The story of two young brothers placed in her home and how their mother’s gratitude changed everything • Navigating a Safe Haven baby placement and ultimately adopting her youngest son • Maintaining meaningful relationships with biological families long after reunification • The emotional complexity of children moving between homes • How foster families can cheerlead, support, and build trust with parents • A multi‑year case that transformed into a true village of caregivers • Advice for new or prospective foster parents • Why openness, compassion, and connection benefit everyone involved Key Takeaways • Foster care works best when caregivers approach it as a team effort with biological families. • Kids thrive when they can remain connected to parents, grandparents, and others who love them. • Reunification can be challenging but often leads to beautiful, long‑term relationships. • Supporting parents and honoring their role makes the experience healthier for children. • The more people loving a child, the better. Resources Mentioned Learn more about foster care in Utah at: https://www.utahfostercare.org About Our Guest Crystal Dukes is a former foster parent, adoptive mom, and advocate for reunification. Over seven years she and her husband cared for approximately 30 children, building ongoing relationships with many of the families they supported. Her compassionate, connection‑driven approach provides valuable insight for anyone exploring foster care. Listen & Subscribe New episodes of Fostering Conversations are released regularly. Subscribe on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss a conversation that matters. Transcript: Speaker: On today’s episode, we’ll be talking to a former foster adoptive mom about reunification. The entire goal of foster care is to reunify the kids in our home join us. Amy: Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Crystal Dukes, who is a foster and adoptive mom, and we are so glad to chat with her today. Thanks for being here, Crystal. Crystal: Thank you so much for having me. Amy: So we wanna just start off by letting our audience know who you are. So tell us a little bit about yourself. my name’s Crystal Jewkes like Amy said, and,My husband and I have been married for 27 years, and we have four kids of our own. We’ve had about 30 kids in and out of our homes, many of which we’re still, in contact wit...

  7. Feb 10

    Ep 68: Mentorship Program

    In this episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith sits down with Michelle Ostmark, the Statewide Mentoring Coordinator for Utah Foster Care, to discuss the Utah Foster Care Mentoring Program and why it matters. Michelle explains how the program pairs experienced foster parents with new or existing foster and kinship families to provide guidance, emotional support, and real-life insight throughout the fostering journey. From navigating first placements and court processes to coping with reunification, burnout, and self-care, mentors help ensure families don’t feel alone. The conversation highlights how mentoring builds community, strengthens placements, and improves outcomes for children by supporting the adults who care for them. Michelle also shares how the program began, its statewide growth, success stories, and how former foster parents can continue giving back as mentors—even if they’re no longer licensed. Learn how to request a mentor or become one at: https://utahfostercare.org/foster-parent-resources/mentors/ Transcript:  Welcome to Fostering Conversations. On today’s episode, we’ll be talking about the statewide Utah Foster Care Mentoring Program and its importance to our Utah foster families. Amy: Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Michelle Ostmark, who is the statewide mentoring coordinator for Utah Foster Care. Thanks for joining us, Michelle. Michelle: Thank you for having me. Amy: So we’re excited to talk about the mentoring program. It is part of Utah Foster Care and available to all of our foster families in the state of Utah. Is that correct? Michelle: It’s also available to kinship families that have gone through the licensing process or have started the licensing Amy: which is awesome. I think kinship, all foster families need support, but kinship have an added layer of need of support, so I love that you’ve included that now. Michelle: Yeah. I think it’s important that they also have support for the children that are coming into their home. They have the same. Needs that any other child coming into care have, and they just have an extra dynamic of having a personal relationship with the biological families. Amy: Yeah, absolutely. So let’s just start by what is the mentoring program? Michelle: So the mentoring program is designed to pair a seasoned foster family with a new or existing family that needs additional support, or. Resources in each of their communities. We gear it towards new families just so that as they’re starting their foster care journey, they’re able to have somebody that they can call and gather information from, learn what’s appropriate, what’s not, questions to ask as they’re getting placements in their home, um, when they’re struggling, when there’s. exciting news for a child or their family, they have somebody that they can share those things with. Yeah. So that they’re not feeling alone. Amy: I love that because I think back to when I started fostering and I didn’t know like anything, like you just like you get trained. But then you forget what you’re doing and then a kid shows up and you’re like, wait, what am I doing again? Yeah. Michelle: Yeah. And I think our training is amazing, Amy: It is. It’s beautiful. Michelle: But like during that process, you go through the training and then you wait for your licensing and approval, and oftentimes there’s a few months that pass by. Yeah. And so all of that training t...

  8. Jan 13

    Ep 67: Trust-Based Relational Intervention

    In this episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith sits down with Terumi Sagers, TBRI Specialist for Utah Foster Care, longtime foster parent, and adoptive parent. Together, they unpack the foundations of Trust‑Based Relational Intervention (TBRI)—a relationship‑centered, trauma‑informed caregiving approach developed by Dr. Karen Purvis and Dr. David Cross. This conversation is filled with real‑life examples, practical tools, and compassionate insights for foster parents, kinship caregivers, educators, and anyone raising children—because, as Terumi explains, TBRI works for all humans, not just those with trauma backgrounds. Episode Summary Terumi shares her extensive experience fostering, adopting, and training caregivers for over 15 years. She explains the three core TBRI principles—Connecting, Empowering, and Correcting—and why trust must be rebuilt from a “negative starting point” for many children who enter care. You’ll hear: How simple, consistent connection builds safety Why correcting behavior isn’t effective until trust is established How sensory needs, movement, nutrition, and hydration affect behavior Practical examples caregivers can implement today Clear guidance on where families (foster or not) can access TBRI training This episode is a comforting mix of vulnerability, practical strategy, and hope for caregivers navigating the complexities of trauma‑impacted parenting. Guest Terumi Sagers TBRI Specialist, Utah Foster Care 20 years as a foster parent • Adoptive parent • Trainer and practitioner Key Topics Covered 1. What Is TBRI? A trauma‑informed parenting philosophy centered on trust‑building and relational connection. Originally developed for children with trauma histories, but now shown to benefit all children and even adult relationships. 2. Why Trust Starts Below Zero Children in care often enter new homes with trauma, loss, and disrupted attachment. Caregivers must focus on connection to help kids reach “zero” before growth can begin. 3. The Three TBRI Principles Connecting: Relationship‑building through presence, attunement, and positive interactions. Empowering: Meeting physical and sensory needs (movement, hydration, blood sugar, calm environments). Correcting: Teaching life skills and addressing behavior after safety and connection are in place. 4. Real‑World Examples A withdrawn teen reconnecting through daily small affirmations. A family eliminating after‑school meltdowns simply by offering protein snacks and water right after pickup. 5. Training Opportunities Utah Foster Care’s 8‑class TBRI Caregiver Series (20 hours). Community resources including My Healing Home, Raise the Future, and online courses from TCU. 6. Becoming a TBRI Practitioner A rigorous process including 10 weeks of study, an intensive adult attachment interview, and a 5‑day immersive training. Resources Mentioned Books: The Connected Child and The Connected Parent by Dr. Karen Purvis Training: UtahFosterCare.org → TBRI Caregiver Series Community Providers: My Healing Home • Raise the Future Online Learning: TCU’s TBRI 101...

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Utah Foster Care guides real and raw conversations about parenting for bio, foster, adoptive or blended families to increase understanding of issues we all experience as families. Utah Foster Care's mission is to develop innovative strategies to help recruit, train, and retain foster families.

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