Stop Shrinking, Start Living with Christina Aaliyah

Christina Aaliyah
  • 5.0 (13)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

your cosy corner on the internet ☁️ psychology | gen z culture | self development contact: info@christina-aaliyah.com

  1. 4d ago

    controversial dating advice that actually works

    I ask my mum for dating advice all the time, so honestly, it felt slightly selfish not to bring her on here and let you guys ask her questions too.She got married at 22, divorced, spent years as a single mum, dated for decades, and eventually found a relationship that looks completely different from what she thought her “type” would be.So, safe to say, she has STORIES.We talk about dating red flags, how to know when someone actually likes you, why someone’s actions matter more than what they promise you, and why having a “type” might lowkey be keeping you away from the person who is actually right for you.One thing that really stuck with me was her advice to stop making excuses for behaviour that goes against your core values. Because sometimes we spend so much time wondering, “Am I overreacting?” when the better question might be, “Is this actually acceptable to me?”We also get into how to get over someone you can’t have, decentering men without completely giving up on dating, healing before dating, anxious vs. avoidant attachment, whether you should sleep with someone on the first date, when to define the relationship, and the whole instant spark vs. slow burn debate.This is basically dating advice for women in their 20s from someone who has actually lived through marriage, divorce, heartbreak, single motherhood, dating apps, bad dates, and eventually finding a healthy relationship.Real talk, I think a lot of us are trying so hard to find the “right person” that we forget to ask whether we even know what the right relationship should feel like. TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 — Intro 1:46 — Why My Mum Gives Me Dating Advice 2:29 — Getting Married at 22 3:00 — Falling in Love With Potential vs. Reality 4:59 — Dating Advice for Men 6:01 — Red Flags vs. Normal Flaws 7:37 — Should You Give Them Another Chance? 8:28 — Why You Need to Actually Date 9:19 — How Do You Know Someone Is Right for You? 10:43 — Why Your “Type” Might Be Wrong for You 13:13 — What Makes a Man Attractive? 14:31 — How to Get Over Someone You Can’t Have 15:19 — Should Women Decenter Men? 16:50 — Why My Mum Only Had One Child 18:03 — When Is the Right Time to Have Kids? 19:39 — You Cannot Change a Man 20:29 — Why Do We Try to Change People? 21:32 — Dating Again After Rejection or Heartbreak 22:46 — Rapid-Fire Dating Questions 23:43 — Sex on the First Date? 25:00 — Staying Friends With Your Ex 25:39 — When Should You Define the Relationship? 26:03 — Instant Spark vs. Slow Burn 26:58 — Being Desired vs. Being Understood 27:09 — Healing Before Dating vs. Healing Through Dating 27:52 — Anxious vs. Avoidant Attachment 28:15 — Final Thoughts So I’m curious: Are you dating based on what you genuinely need… or based on the person you always imagined you would end up with? UK 🇬🇧Samaritans 24/7 emotional support for anyone in distress Call 116 123 https://www.samaritans.org Shout Free, confidential 24/7 text suppotText SHOUT to 85258 https://giveusashout.org Mind Mental health info and support line for England and Wales https://www.mind.org.uk U S 🇺🇸Crisis Text Line Free 24/7 text support, text HOME to 741741 https://www.crisistextline.org NAMI Helpline Info, referrals, and support for mental health concerns, 1-800-950-6264 — https://www.nami.org 📖 Read Attached Here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Attached-Identify-attachment-style-perfect-ebook/dp/B0050CJNJC 🎟️ Become a LinkedIn Baddie (Join the waitlist) https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/linkedinwaitlist?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=description 👯 Cozy Meet Ups w/ our community London → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/meetManchester → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/manchester🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter💌 contact: info@christinaa-aaliyah.com

  2. Sep 21

    Give me 20 minutes and I'll show you what to do with your life

    If you hate your job but have absolutely no idea what to do next, this video is for you.I spent £87,000 and five years in medical school for what I thought was my dream career, only to realise about 18 months into working as a doctor that I could not see myself doing it long term. That was a very expensive identity crisis.And honestly, I think a lot of people know they want to leave their job before they actually understand why.So in this video, I break it down into four things: pay, pressure, people, and purpose.Because sometimes you do not need to completely change your life. Maybe you need to negotiate your salary. Maybe you need a side hustle. Maybe your job is fine, but your boundaries are terrible. Maybe your coworkers are draining you. Or maybe you keep expecting your career to give you all the meaning that is missing from the rest of your life.Lowkey, I think that distinction matters.I also talk about what actually helped me leave medicine: building skills outside my job, becoming more visible on LinkedIn, creating financial independence, and slowly getting to a point where I had options instead of feeling trapped.Real talk, quitting is not always the answer.But neither is staying somewhere that is making you miserable just because you have no plan. TIMESTAMPS: 02:13 — You’re Not Paid Enough 08:20 — You’re Burnt Out 14:56 — The People Are the Problem 19:54 — Your Job Feels Meaningless. So if you are trying to figure out what to do with your life, what career to choose, whether to quit your job, how to find purpose in your career, or how to make more money without starting over completely, hopefully this gives you a clearer place to start.What if the problem is not that you chose the wrong career… but that you have not figured out which part of it is actually making you unhappy? 🎟️ Become a LinkedIn Baddie (Join the waitlist) https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/linkedinwaitlist?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=description Cozy Meet Ups w/ our community London → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/meet Manchester → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/manchester 🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter 💌 contact: info@christinaa-aaliyah.com

  3. Sep 14

    I tried speed dating for the 5th time

    check out Comu Action Pro!use code：CHRISTINA66 for an early bird discount!Amazon：https://amzn.to/4gwWqJXWebsite：https://bit.ly/4A6U0urUK：https://amzn.to/4hV0mGVso i've been using comu action pro for a while now and honestly it's changed how i work.i used to spend so much time transcribing videos, writing summaries, organizing everything manually.it was draining.i'd finish editing and think "oh god now i have to do all the admin work."comu action pro literally does that for you.unlimited live transcription, ai summaries, everything organized. and you only pay once. that's it. lifetime access.➜ get $10 off right now (only $169.99 at checkout, up to £11 off in the uk) ➜ lifetime value → you literally pay once! ➜ 100% privacy compliant (gdpr, hipaa, soc 2) ➜ 12 month warranty + lifetime supportI have genuinely had enough rejection to last me until 2028.The past month has humbled me. Dating rejection. Work rejection. Getting left on read. Speed dating and somehow leaving with zero matches. At one point, I genuinely started questioning my makeup, hair, clothes… everything.That’s the thing about rejection. When the “no’s” start piling up, it becomes really easy to make them mean something about you.I’m 25 and I’ve never had a proper relationship. For a long time, I thought having a boyfriend would finally prove that I was attractive or desirable. But honestly, I’ve realised I didn’t always want the relationship itself. I wanted the reassurance I thought it would give me.Your relationship status is just your relationship status. Someone rejecting you doesn’t change your value.Real talk, putting yourself out there means sometimes getting hurt. But avoiding rejection completely might cost you even more.Maybe you don’t need to become immune to rejection. Maybe you just need enough evidence that you can survive it.TIMESTAMPS:00:00 — Intro01:03 — Sponsor03:01 — The DM Saga04:47 — The Rejection Spiral06:05 — Client Challenges08:09 — Speed Dating14:53 — Thoughts on RejectionAre you afraid of rejection… or what you’ll make it mean about you?Cozy Meet Ups w/ our communityLondon → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.c...Manchester → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.c...🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.c...💌 contact: info@christinaa-aaliyah.com

  4. Sep 7

    It’s time to disappoint your parents

    🎟️ Become a LinkedIn Baddie (Join the waitlist) https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/linkedinwaitlist?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=description If you’re constantly choosing between disappointing other people and disappointing yourself, honestly, this video is for you. I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently because I’m 25, I’m planning to move to London, five hours away from my mum, and for probably the first time in my life, I’ve really felt that tug between what I want and what the people I love might prefer for me. And lowkey, I think learning how to disappoint people might be one of the most important parts of growing up. I’ve done it with my career too. I went to medical school because I wanted to. Then I eventually quit being a doctor, even though I knew my dad didn’t necessarily understand the decision. I spent so long weighing the pros and cons, and I genuinely reached the point where I knew my life would be worse if I stayed in medicine. That sounds dramatic, but it was true for me. This isn’t about becoming selfish or ignoring everyone’s advice. Real talk, sometimes your parents are right. Sometimes you genuinely do not know as much as you think you do. But there’s a difference between listening to people who love you and building your entire life around the fear of disappointing them. Especially if you’re trying to figure out how to stop people pleasing, how to set boundaries with family, how to stop caring what your parents think about your career, or how to choose yourself without feeling guilty. Working in healthcare also changed how I see all of this. Seeing young people suddenly become seriously unwell made me realise how unbelievably short and unpredictable life can be. It made me question why I was playing small just to keep everyone comfortable. Now I keep coming back to one question: Can I keep living like this? I asked it when I wanted to leave medicine. I’m asking it again while moving out of my small hometown and starting a new chapter. Honestly, every time I answer it truthfully, my life moves a little closer to something that actually feels like mine. So maybe the question isn’t, “Who will I disappoint if I choose myself?”Maybe it’s: How long are you willing to disappoint yourself instead? Cozy Meet Ups w/ our communityLondon → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/meetManchester → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/manchester 🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter 💌 contact: info@christinaa-aaliyah.com

  5. Sep 2

    Why Purpose Is So Hard For Gen Z

    🎟️ Become a LinkedIn Baddie (Join the waitlist) https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/linkedinwaitlist?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=description i spent years chasing this concept called ikigai. that concept where the four circles that overlap - something that pays you - something you're good at - something the world needs - something you love. i was convinced that if i could just find where all four circles met, my life would be perfect. so naturally as a type A, overahieving girlie i became a doctor. i checked all the boxes. i had my ikigai. but i very quickly realised, this was NOT my life's purpose because finding your purpose doesn't actually fix everything like everyone says it does. just because you do what you love doesn't mean the rest of your life is going to be perfect. you can be good at your job, get paid well, help people who need you, and still hate it. because there's always going to be deadlines you don't like, colleagues that drain you, pressure that weighs you down, and sacrifice that costs more than you expected. this video is about how we're thinking about purpose completely wrong. we're told to find our ikigai and everything will fall into place. i think what we actually need is meaning. purpose is what so manny people chase but meaning is the small moments that give you a real sense of fulfillment. a conversation with someone that actually mattered. helping someone when they needed it. connecting with a friend. those tiny ingredients that make life feel worth living. that's what gave me the idea for The Kitchen Theory i didn't realize until i quit: life is always going to be stressful. there's always going to be something to worry about. you're always going to have ups and downs. so instead of waiting for the stress to end, instead of waiting for the perfect job to fix everything, maybe the answer is learning how to find joy in the midst of the chaos. i spent so many years counting down. counting down to sixth form, to university, to graduation, to becoming a doctor, to quitting my job. always waiting for the next thing to finally make me feel relieved. and it took me quitting to realize i was missing my actual life while i was waiting for it to start.but what do you think do you have a purpose?or are you just finding ways to make life feel more meaningful? 0:00 Intro 2:08 Your Job =/= Ikigai 7:22 The Kitchen Theory 11:07 My Purpose Cozy Meet Ups w/ our community London → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/meet Manchester → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/manchester 🌱 sign up to my newsletter https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter 💌 contact: info@christinaa-aaliyah.com

  6. Aug 16

    I quit my job as a doctor 6 months ago (update)

    🎟️ Become a LinkedIn Baddie (Join the waitlist) https://presellstudio.short.gy/ytdescription ⭐️ Cozy Meet Ups w/ our community London → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/meet Manchester → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/manchester 🌱 sign up to my newsletter https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter 0:00 intro 3:14 work life balance 4:43 social life 8:24 earnings 13:12 purpose 21:20 what’s next 💌 contact: info@christinaa-aaliyah.com

  7. Jul 29

    i'm done playing it safe in dating

    ⭐️FREE Quarter Life Clarity WorkbookGrab yours here → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/qlc🌱 sign up to my newsletterhttps://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/newsletter💌 contact: info@christinaa-aaliyah.com

  8. Jun 15

    The Art of Wasting Money In Your 20s

    ⭐️FREE Money Print Workbook Grab yours here → https://christina-aaliyah.myflodesk.com/moneyprint 0:00 intro 2:51 what is wasting money? 08:08 - What I'm planning to 'waste' money on 💌 contact: christinaa@makrwatch.com

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your cosy corner on the internet ☁️ psychology | gen z culture | self development contact: info@christina-aaliyah.com

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