“Shiva without Shakti is a corpse.” -Laura Ammazonne As a massively femme oriented being, I get that discipline can not only be a turn off, but enraging. I am all about the primal, pre-dogma and religious authorities type of spirituality and embodiment. But being in spaces where there is so much devotion oriented to the unseen and to being of service to humanity, I find a simultaneous kink around being told what to do and when to do it. the Difference is in the consent I have created within myself. And a new view on discpline. Discipline as being a disciple to Love. Authority, as we were taught it, was a clenched jaw, a spine held so tight it forgot how to listen, a voice that barked orders instead of tracking sensation. I am no longer interested in authority as control. I am interested in authority as collapse—the holy kind. The kind where you fall backward into the arms of the Divine and discover you were never meant to push your life forward at all. This is where my re-writing begins: not from effort, not from domination of self, but from listening so deeply the body becomes a tuning fork for truth. Most of us carry what I call boundary ruptures—moments where our no was ignored, where we learned to override our instincts to belong, survive, or be loved. Authority entered our nervous systems not as safety, but as threat. So we learned to submit, rebel, or dissociate. Rarely did we learn how to receive guidance without collapse, or how to lead without violence. Repairing boundary ruptures is not about harder edges or better performance. It is about restoring trust with the intelligence of the body. It is about letting the Divine speak through sensation instead of through shame, punishment, or spiritual striving. I am writing this from the sacred portal of Mother India—another dimension entirely—where reverence looks like a million different things and is felt not as obedience, but as shared joy. Here, devotion is not abstract. It is touchable. Audible. In the air. It lives in the excess of color, the chaos, the song, the tears, the laughter. It is an ecstatic devotion to Love itself, recognizable only to those who feel it in their bones. For the ones who get it, no explanation is needed. Devotion is felt. This is the authority I met years ago inside pre-religious mystical ritual with the Dark Goddess in India and again in Italy—before doctrine, before temples with rules, before God was turned into a father with conditions. There, authority was rhythm, drum, breath, voice cracking open. No hierarchy, only initiation by listening. The ritual did not command us; it waited for us to soften enough to hear it. The Goddess did not ask for obedience. She asked for attunement. And when we listened—truly listened—our lives reorganized themselves without force. To be a good leader, you must be a good servant—but I do not mean a servant to systems of oppression, productivity, or control, and I do not mean a servant to the dominant culture’s version of success. I mean a servant to something wider and more wild than yourself. A servant to eros, to truth, to the collective nervous system, to the living intelligence that moves through bodies, land, and time. Leadership, from this place, is not about directing others. It is about being so devoted to listening that others feel safe enough to hear themselves. This Capricorn New Moon, I am not interested in climbing another mountain or mastering another structure. I am interested in leasing my life up from beneath me—from the deep ground of devotion. From the place where discipline becomes reverence, responsibility becomes responsiveness, and authority is no longer a weapon but a sanctuary. True authority does not push. It receives the next instruction from the dark, fertile silence where God is not an idea, but a pulse moving through bone. This is where I begin again. We don’t just speak and write about the Divine Feminine over here in Body Temple, We embody Her. Come to France with us for a writing and womb healing embodied love and grief, Mary Magdalene and Black Madonna retreat in April. Taurus season. Find info and apply here. Get full access to Mother of the Sword at bodytemple.substack.com/subscribe
