The Successfully In Love Podcast

Katarina Polonska
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Biweekly

Creating and keeping a healthy, meaningful, and fulfilling relationship can feel extra hard for high-achievers, especially when you're a career-driven professional with limited time, emotional bandwidth, and a lot on your plate. And of course, you want to maintain high standards for yourself. Join high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist Katarina Polonska (University of Oxford M.St, ICF ACC NLP IAT) as she delves into the complexities of having true healthy love, discerning whether to stay or go, and levelling up to create your ultimate relationship. If you are an ambitious professional who knows you deserve more in life but can't seem to figure out your relationships - whether that's improving your current partnership, getting clarity on what you should do, finding the love of your life, or breaking free from the painful patterns of your past - this show is for you. Each episode contains powerful insights into the Behavioral Science of Attraction, the proven science-based methodology to help you create your best relationship yet, and live your best life. Discover more about how I can help you at: www.katarinapolonska.com @katarinapolonska on Instagram https://www.linkedin.com/in/katarinapolonska/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. 3d ago

    It's Not That You Don't Want Love. It Feels Dangerous

    You can run a company, lead teams, and build something extraordinary — and still find yourself pulling away from the person you love most. Wanting closeness one moment, feeling trapped and desperate for space the next. If that push-pull sounds familiar, this video is for you. Because here's what most high performers don't want to hear: your hidden internal blocks don't disappear just because you're successful. You can be disciplined, capable, and entirely self-made, and still sabotage the relationships you most want — pulling back, overworking, picking fights, even cheating — without ever meaning to. It's not that you've stopped caring, and it's not that you don't want love. It's that on a deep subconscious level, intimacy started to feel dangerous. This is the heart of a fearful avoidant attachment style, and it's far more common in high achievers than anyone admits. Your success quietly became the safe place to hide from a closeness that, somewhere back in childhood, learned to feel unsafe. In this episode I break down why the people who crave connection most are so often the ones who run from it, why insight and awareness alone never break the pattern, and what it actually takes to rewire how your nervous system responds to intimacy — so you can finally stop sabotaging the love you want. 🎯 Watch the free masterclass: Why High Achievers Stay Stuck in Love (and What Actually Fixes It): https://www.successfullyinlove.com/ 💬 Book a free Strategy Call with Katarina: https://calendly.com/katarinapolonska About the Host Katarina Polonska is a High Performance Relationship Coach and a Gender Dynamic Social Scientist from the University of Oxford. She has 15 years of experience studying love, gender, and behavioural science. Follow Katarina on Instagram: @katarinapolonskaConnect with Katarina on LinkedIn Ready to fix the disconnect in your relationship? Get started with my step-by-step framework today for just $27: Click here to get the resource Want deeper support? Apply for a free Consultation Call with Katarina today: Click here to book your call Enjoyed this deep dive into love and leadership? Please take a moment to subscribe, leave a 5-star rating, and download a few more episodes. As a gift of gratitude, I will send you my program, the Over-Givers Reset if you leave a 5-star review and share what you love about the show. 🎁 To claim your gift, submit your review screenshot to this email: team@katarinapolonska.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    19 min

  2. Jun 5

    Affairs Are Never About the Other Person. Here's Why.

    Are you exhausted from living a double life? Caught between the partner you built a life with and someone else who makes you feel alive again — and completely paralyzed about what to actually do? If you're a high-functioning professional — a founder, a leader, a parent, the responsible one everyone leans on — this one is for you. Because here's what almost no one tells you: affairs are rarely about boredom, a broken marriage, or the other person being some magical unicorn. In my work with high achievers, they're almost always rooted in something much deeper — chronic self-abandonment. Years of being strong for everyone, putting your own needs last, and slowly going emotionally absent from your own life. That other person feels intoxicating because they remind you of a version of yourself you forgot existed. With them you feel seen, desired, alive. But this was never really about choosing between two people. It's about whether you're finally willing to choose you. In this episode I break down why high-functioning professionals end up here, why leaving for someone new almost never works long-term, and the practical first steps to reconnect with yourself — so the decision you make comes from clarity and honesty instead of guilt and fear. 🎯 Watch the free masterclass: Why High Achievers Stay Stuck in Love (and What Actually Fixes It): https://www.successfullyinlove.com/ 💬 Book a free Strategy Call with Katarina: https://calendly.com/katarinapolonska About the Host Katarina Polonska is a High Performance Relationship Coach and a Gender Dynamic Social Scientist from the University of Oxford. She has 15 years of experience studying love, gender, and behavioural science. Follow Katarina on Instagram: @katarinapolonskaConnect with Katarina on LinkedIn Ready to fix the disconnect in your relationship? Get started with my step-by-step framework today for just $27: Click here to get the resource Want deeper support? Apply for a free Consultation Call with Katarina today: Click here to book your call Enjoyed this deep dive into love and leadership? Please take a moment to subscribe, leave a 5-star rating, and download a few more episodes. As a gift of gratitude, I will send you my program, the Over-Givers Reset if you leave a 5-star review and share what you love about the show. 🎁 To claim your gift, submit your review screenshot to this email: team@katarinapolonska.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    14 min

  3. May 29

    Date Nights Won't Fix a Sexless Marriage. This Will

    Nobody falls into a sexless marriage by accident. You didn't stop loving each other, and you're not broken. So why does intimacy feel rare, mechanical, or like one more thing on an already impossible to-do list? If you're a high-performing professional who has built success in every area except your relationship, this one is for you. Most couples don't lose desire because something is wrong with them. They lose it because years of stress, unspoken resentment, and quiet emotional disconnection slowly shut it down. And no amount of scheduled date nights, new positions, or weekend getaways can fix a problem that actually lives in the nervous system. In this video I break down why successful couples drift into living like high-functioning roommates, why willpower and logistics never bring desire back, and the three things that genuinely rebuild lasting intimacy: emotional safety, real repair after conflict, and the subconscious patterns running underneath all of it. I also share the story of a high-achieving client who hadn't been intimate with his wife in four years, and what finally turned it around. This isn't about hacking desire. You can't. It's about clearing what's been quietly blocking it, so connection comes back on its own. 🎯 Watch the free masterclass: Why High Achievers Stay Stuck in Love (and What Actually Fixes It): https://www.successfullyinlove.com/ 💬 Book a free Strategy Call with Katarina: https://calendly.com/katarinapolonska About the Host Katarina Polonska is a High Performance Relationship Coach and a Gender Dynamic Social Scientist from the University of Oxford. She has 15 years of experience studying love, gender, and behavioural science. Follow Katarina on Instagram: @katarinapolonskaConnect with Katarina on LinkedIn Ready to fix the disconnect in your relationship? Get started with my step-by-step framework today for just $27: Click here to get the resource Want deeper support? Apply for a free Consultation Call with Katarina today: Click here to book your call Enjoyed this deep dive into love and leadership? Please take a moment to subscribe, leave a 5-star rating, and download a few more episodes. As a gift of gratitude, I will send you my program, the Over-Givers Reset if you leave a 5-star review and share what you love about the show. 🎁 To claim your gift, submit your review screenshot to this email: team@katarinapolonska.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    17 min

  4. May 22

    It's Not Divorce That Scares You. It's Being the Bad Guy.

    You've thought about leaving. You've turned it over a thousand times. And every time you get close to a decision, something pulls you back. Most people assume it's the fear of divorce itself. The legal mess. The financial cost. The disruption to the kids. But for high achieving men, the real fear is something underneath all of that. It's the fear of being the bad guy. Your entire identity has been built on being the responsible one. The provider. The person who shows up. The one who fixes things and doesn't let people down. So when you imagine leaving, your subconscious doesn't just see the end of a marriage. It sees the end of the version of yourself you've worked your whole life to be. That's not weakness. It's wiring. And it's the reason you've been stuck in the same loop for years. In this episode, I break down why high performing men get trapped in the do-I-stay-or-do-I-go cycle, what's actually driving the paralysis underneath, and how to separate the decision itself from the identity story your mind has wrapped around it. 🎯 Watch the free masterclass: Why High Achievers Stay Stuck in Love (and What Actually Fixes It): https://www.successfullyinlove.com/ 💬 Book a free Strategy Call with Katarina: https://calendly.com/katarinapolonska About the Host Katarina Polonska is a High Performance Relationship Coach and a Gender Dynamic Social Scientist from the University of Oxford. She has 15 years of experience studying love, gender, and behavioural science. Follow Katarina on Instagram: @katarinapolonskaConnect with Katarina on LinkedIn Ready to fix the disconnect in your relationship? Get started with my step-by-step framework today for just $27: Click here to get the resource Want deeper support? Apply for a free Consultation Call with Katarina today: Click here to book your call Enjoyed this deep dive into love and leadership? Please take a moment to subscribe, leave a 5-star rating, and download a few more episodes. As a gift of gratitude, I will send you my program, the Over-Givers Reset if you leave a 5-star review and share what you love about the show. 🎁 To claim your gift, submit your review screenshot to this email: team@katarinapolonska.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    16 min
  5. Why Successful Men Feel Lonely in Long-Term Relationships

    May 16

    Why Successful Men Feel Lonely in Long-Term Relationships

    You’ve spent decades mastering your craft, building wealth, and earning a level of success most people only dream about. But behind closed doors, something feels off. The relationship that’s supposed to be your safe harbor feels more like another obligation. You’re providing everything and somehow still feel like you’re failing at home. In this episode, we get into the real reason high-performing men in their 40s and 50s quietly disconnect from their partners. Not because they stopped caring, but because the very mindset that built their success is working against them in their most important relationship. This is not about blame. It’s not about fixing your partner. It’s about understanding a pattern that affects more successful men than anyone talks about and what it actually looks like to break it. About the Host Katarina Polonska is a High Performance Relationship Coach and a Gender Dynamic Social Scientist from the University of Oxford. She has 15 years of experience studying love, gender, and behavioural science. Follow Katarina on Instagram: @katarinapolonskaConnect with Katarina on LinkedIn Ready to fix the disconnect in your relationship? Get started with my step-by-step framework today for just $27: Click here to get the resource Want deeper support? Apply for a free Consultation Call with Katarina today: Click here to book your call Enjoyed this deep dive into love and leadership? Please take a moment to subscribe, leave a 5-star rating, and download a few more episodes. As a gift of gratitude, I will send you my program, the Over-Givers Reset if you leave a 5-star review and share what you love about the show. 🎁 To claim your gift, submit your review screenshot to this email: team@katarinapolonska.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    18 min
  6. The Real Reason You're Attracted to Someone Outside Your Marriage

    May 9

    The Real Reason You're Attracted to Someone Outside Your Marriage

    In this episode, Katarina explains why attraction outside the relationship is rarely just about the other person, how unmet needs and subconscious patterns shape these dynamics, and what it takes to get real clarity before making life-changing decisions. Topics discussed: Why developing feelings for someone else does not automatically mean you should leave your partnerWhat outside attraction is really revealing about your unmet emotional needsHow high performers often suppress their needs without realizing itWhy emotional affairs and deep external connections can feel so intoxicatingThe subconscious patterns that keep repeating in relationshipsWhy logic alone cannot solve emotional and relational patternsHow to identify what this new connection actually represents for youWhat it can look like to repair the underlying issues inside your current relationshipA real client story about marriage, attraction, and transformationHow to use this experience as a wake-up call instead of a self-sabotaging escape About the Host Katarina Polonska is a High Performance Relationship Coach and a Gender Dynamic Social Scientist from the University of Oxford. She has 15 years of experience studying love, gender, and behavioural science. Follow Katarina on Instagram: @katarinapolonskaConnect with Katarina on LinkedIn Ready to fix the disconnect in your relationship? Get started with my step-by-step framework today for just $27: Click here to get the resource Want deeper support? Apply for a free Consultation Call with Katarina today: Click here to book your call Enjoyed this deep dive into love and leadership? Please take a moment to subscribe, leave a 5-star rating, and download a few more episodes. As a gift of gratitude, I will send you my program, the Over-Givers Reset if you leave a 5-star review and share what you love about the show. 🎁 To claim your gift, submit your review screenshot to this email: team@katarinapolonska.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    14 min
  7. Why Burnout is Killing Your Intimacy (And Why Scheduling Sex Doesn't Work)

    May 6

    Why Burnout is Killing Your Intimacy (And Why Scheduling Sex Doesn't Work)

    If you love your partner but your intimate life feels flat, distant, or like just another exhausting task on your to-do list, you are not alone. In this solo episode of the Successfully in Love® Podcast, Katarina reveals why chronic stress and burnout are the true culprits behind a plummeting libido. Discover why you can't simply logic your way out of survival mode, why "scheduling sex" usually backfires for high-achievers, and how to actually heal your nervous system so desire, play, and deep connection can naturally return to your marriage. Key Themes Explored in This Episode: The Survival Mode Trap: Why your nervous system literally shuts down the operating systems responsible for desire and play when you are experiencing chronic stress.The Root Cause of Burnout: How unhealed childhood "core wounds" (like feeling unworthy or not good enough) create a dysregulated, anxious internal operating system that constantly runs on frenetic energy.The "Scheduling" Myth: Why going to a therapist to talk about positions or schedule intimacy like a work meeting fails, and why high performers need to stop overriding their bodies.A Real-Life Turnaround: How a chronically exhausted senior executive repaired a year-long intimate disconnect with his wife by addressing his nervous system—and how his work productivity actually increased as a result.Redefining Rest: Why true rest isn't just taking a vacation—it's actively regulating your nervous system, clearing out subconscious blocks, and creating deep emotional safety.Changing Your Fuel: How to shift the driving force behind your career success from anxiety and survival to abundance, self-love, and secure connection. Links & Resources Listen to more episodes and explore Katarina's work: www.katarinapolonska.com About the Host Katarina Polonska is a High Performance Relationship Coach and a Gender Dynamic Social Scientist from the University of Oxford. She has 15 years of experience studying love, gender, and behavioural science. Follow Katarina on Instagram: @katarinapolonskaConnect with Katarina on LinkedIn Ready to fix the disconnect in your relationship? Get started with my step-by-step framework today for just $27: Click here to get the resource Want deeper support? Apply for a free Consultation Call with Katarina today: Click here to book your call Enjoyed this deep dive into love and leadership? Please take a moment to subscribe, leave a 5-star rating, and download a few more episodes. As a gift of gratitude, I will send you my program, the Over-Givers Reset if you leave a 5-star review and share what you love about the show. 🎁 To claim your gift, submit your review screenshot to this email: team@katarinapolonska.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    14 min
  8. Why Lack of Repair, Not Conflict, is Destroying Your Relationship

    May 6

    Why Lack of Repair, Not Conflict, is Destroying Your Relationship

    Most relationships do not end because of massive betrayals or big drama. They erode slowly from emotional distance that never gets properly repaired. In this solo episode of the Successfully in Love® Podcast, Katarina reveals the insidious, silent killer of intimacy: sweeping things under the rug. If you and your partner have stopped fighting but feel miles apart, or if your attempts to resolve conflict always lead to a shutdown, this episode will teach you the essential skill of intentional repair to bridge the gap and restore emotional safety. Key Themes Explored in This Episode: The Silent Killer of Intimacy: Why brushing things under the rug and rushing to say "I'm sorry" is far more damaging to your marriage than having a blowout argument.The Nervous System Trap: How leaving minor disagreements unresolved actually trains your brain to view your partner as an emotional threat.The "Perfect" Co-Parents: A real-life case study of a highly successful couple who looked great on paper but had lost all emotional connection—and the exact steps they took to get it back.The "Time Heals" Myth: Why simply giving an argument time or choosing to "move on" actually compounds emotional distance over the years.The Art of Intentional Repair: Katarina’s step-by-step framework for truly closing the loop on an argument, including how to listen without getting triggered and how to find the root of the hurt.The 30-Second Reset: How to use a long hug and an "amnesty space" to fully close out a conflict and actually grow closer because of it.A Message of Hope: Why decades of emotional distance do not mean your relationship is broken, and how you can start bridging the gap today. Links & Resources Apply for a free Consultation Call with Katarina: https://calendly.com/katarinapolonska/20minconsultVisit Katarina's website: www.katarinapolonska.com About the Host Katarina Polonska is a High Performance Relationship Coach and a Gender Dynamic Social Scientist from the University of Oxford. She has 15 years of experience studying love, gender, and behavioural science. Follow Katarina on Instagram: @katarinapolonskaConnect with Katarina on LinkedIn Enjoyed this deep dive into love and leadership? Please take a moment to subscribe, leave a 5-star rating, and download a few more episodes. As a gift of gratitude, I will send you my program, the Over-Givers Reset if you leave a 5-star review and share what you love about the show. 🎁 To claim your gift, submit your review screenshot to this email: team@katarinapolonska.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    16 min
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About

Creating and keeping a healthy, meaningful, and fulfilling relationship can feel extra hard for high-achievers, especially when you're a career-driven professional with limited time, emotional bandwidth, and a lot on your plate. And of course, you want to maintain high standards for yourself. Join high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist Katarina Polonska (University of Oxford M.St, ICF ACC NLP IAT) as she delves into the complexities of having true healthy love, discerning whether to stay or go, and levelling up to create your ultimate relationship. If you are an ambitious professional who knows you deserve more in life but can't seem to figure out your relationships - whether that's improving your current partnership, getting clarity on what you should do, finding the love of your life, or breaking free from the painful patterns of your past - this show is for you. Each episode contains powerful insights into the Behavioral Science of Attraction, the proven science-based methodology to help you create your best relationship yet, and live your best life. Discover more about how I can help you at: www.katarinapolonska.com @katarinapolonska on Instagram https://www.linkedin.com/in/katarinapolonska/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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