Whats The Tea?

YMCA Exeter
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated Biweekly

Two ex Support workers, chatting about finding our way through life, and not being experts at it.

  1. Aug 12

    “Man Up”: The Messages Men Grow Up Hearing

    What messages do boys and men receive about strength, emotion and asking for help—and how much have those messages really changed? In this episode of What’s the Tea?, Andy and Lydia explore masculinity, men’s mental health and the pressure many men feel to deal with problems alone. Andy shares what happened when he became convinced that his blood-pressure readings meant something was seriously wrong—but chose not to tell his wife, friends or colleagues. This leads to a wider conversation about why men sometimes minimise health concerns, avoid worrying other people and try to remain in control rather than asking for help. Lydia also shares findings from a survey completed by men working at YMCA Exeter. The responses reveal some of the messages they heard while growing up, including: “Man up.”“Boys don’t cry.”Be tough and fight back.Handle your problems on your own.Be the provider.Don’t talk about your feelings.Don’t show weakness.Andy and Lydia discuss where these messages come from, why they can be difficult to identify and how they can affect men’s health, relationships and sense of identity. They also explore healthier versions of masculinity, including emotional openness, kindness, compassion, respect for others and finding a balance between strength and vulnerability. The conversation covers: Why men may delay seeking medical help.The pressure to protect others from worry.How work and providing can become tied to male identity.Whether younger generations are finding it easier to talk.The influence of parents, peers, media and social expectations.The importance of positive male role models.How fatherhood, relationships, faith, counselling and life experience can change someone’s understanding of masculinity.Why strength and vulnerability do not have to be opposites.If something does not feel right—physically or emotionally—please speak to someone. That might be a friend, family member, health professional, counsellor or another person you trust. Andy’s Man Club provides free peer-support groups for men across the UK. More information can be found at: andysmanclub.co.uk You can contact Andy and Lydia at:WhatsTheTea@ymcaexeter.org.uk Music creditMusic: April Showers by Kjartan Abel.Visit Kjartan Abel’s music library to download royalty-free music for your next project.Licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0 — Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International.

  2. Jul 29

    A Conversation about The Bystander Effect

    Content note: This episode discusses violence against women and girls, harassment, harmful attitudes, personal safety and domestic abuse. Please look after yourself and decide whether this is the right episode for you today. This is a more serious episode of What’s the Tea? Lydia and Andy explore the bystander effect: what happens when people witness concerning or harmful behaviour but do not challenge it. Sometimes this happens because we assume somebody else will act. At other times, it might come from embarrassment, uncertainty, fear of conflict or simply not knowing what to say. However, remaining silent, laughing awkwardly or joining in can unintentionally make harmful behaviour appear acceptable. Lydia discusses some of the everyday situations in which women may experience objectifying comments, inappropriate jokes, dismissive language or behaviour that creates discomfort and fear. These experiences can happen in group chats, workplaces, friendship groups, nights out and during ordinary journeys home. The episode also explores an important distinction: a woman may laugh, remain silent or remove herself from a situation as a way of protecting herself. A bystander who is in a safer position may have greater freedom and responsibility to challenge what is happening. Lydia shares findings from an anonymous internal survey of women working at YMCA Exeter. Among those who responded: 100% said they avoid walking alone at night.100% avoid certain routes or areas.100% remain alert to their surroundings.Around 90% regularly change their behaviour to feel safer.77% share their location with somebody.69% reported experiencing gender-based double standards.These figures come from a small internal survey and are shared as examples of lived experience rather than as national research. They nevertheless provide a striking picture of the precautions many women routinely take. Andy and Lydia discuss how challenging a comment with something as simple as: “Mate, that isn’t funny.” can interrupt harmful behaviour, support the person affected and make it easier for other people to speak up. One response might not immediately change somebody’s entire outlook, but it can begin to change the culture within a friendship group, workplace or community. Small actions can create permission for other people to challenge harmful behaviour too. Think about a recent situation in which you witnessed something uncomfortable, inappropriate or harmful: What did you notice?What did you do?What stopped you from speaking up?What might make speaking up easier?What responsibility do we all have for creating safer environments?Women already do a significant amount to protect themselves. Real change happens when other people move from simply noticing harmful behaviour to safely challenging it. This episode follows an earlier What’s the Tea? conversation exploring domestic abuse and violence against women and girls. 🎧 Listen to the earlier episode on Spotify Have you experienced the bystander effect? What helps you speak up when something does not feel right? Is there something you wish more people understood about the everyday precautions women take? You can contact Andy and Lydia at: WhatsTheTea@ymcaexeter.org.uk Please do not use this email to request urgent, confidential or specialist support. The organisations listed below are better equipped to help. Mayor of London — Have a Word and Say Maaate to a MateEnough — Help Stop AbuseWomen’s Aid — Information and SupportNational Domestic Abuse HelplineIf you or somebody else is in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you are calling from a mobile phone and cannot speak, listen to the operator and press 55 when prompted. ------------------------------------ Music: April Showers by Kjartan Abel.Visit Kjartan Abel’s music library to download royalty-free music for your next project.Licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0 — Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International. Music credit

  3. Jul 15

    Good News, Weird News and a World Cup Duck

    It is hot. Very hot. The kind of British heat where everyone suddenly becomes an amateur weather correspondent, public health advisor and portable fan reviewer. After a brief but necessary discussion about heatwaves, hay fever, eczema, hydration and the very real struggle of surviving without air con, Andy and Lydia turn their attention to something much more uplifting: good news. This week’s episode is a deliberate break from the darker side of news and social media. When the headlines feel overwhelming, it can be easy to think everything is getting worse. So Andy and Lydia share a collection of hopeful stories from health, science, climate, sport and community life. They talk about the impact of the HPV vaccine on cervical cancer deaths in England, a new treatment that can delay the onset of type 1 diabetes, electric vehicle sales overtaking petrol-only cars in the UK, falling air-pollution-related deaths in London, wind and solar power overtaking gas globally, mangrove recovery, and how cleaner transport in China may be saving lives. There is also time to celebrate Chilangas FC, a women’s blind football team in Mexico creating space, confidence and opportunity for visually impaired women. And because it would not be What’s The Tea? without Weird News, the episode finishes with Merlin the duck — Mexico’s unofficial World Cup mascot — and Gracie the giraffe, who somehow managed to hide in Texas despite being, well, a giraffe.

  4. Jul 1

    Managing Busy Times Without Fully Malfunctioning

    In this episode of What’s The Tea?, Andy and Lydia talk about what happens when life gets busy — properly busy. Not just “I’ve got a lot on” busy, but the kind of busy where your brain fogs over, your to-do list starts multiplying like gremlins, and even drinking enough water becomes an achievement worthy of a gold star. They chat about how busyness can look different for different people: feeling overwhelmed, forgetting things, procrastinating, needing instructions written down, feeling physically stressed, or simply not knowing where to start. Andy shares how writing things down, using task lists and getting things out of your head can make life feel more manageable. Lydia talks about the importance of stepping away from a busy environment, finding a quieter space to work, and learning to balance “input” and “output” relationships — especially when life outside work starts feeling full too. There’s also the return of Adulting Stars of the Week, featuring DIY door sealant, chore days, and the tragic realisation that doing boring jobs can make you feel weirdly proud afterwards. And, of course, Weird News makes an appearance — this time involving a huge illegal cockroach bust in Australia and a student unexpectedly joining the orchestra at a La La Land concert in Sydney. Andy and Lydia talk about: What busyness can feel like emotionally, mentally and physicallyWhy verbal instructions can be harder to process than written onesBrain fog, overwhelm and procrastinationUsing lists, calendars and task apps to reduce mental clutterWhy changing your environment can help you focusBalancing friendships, social plans and personal energyThe difference between people or activities that feel like “input” and “output”How to make chores feel less impossibleAsking for support when things feel too muchWeird News involving cockroaches, concerts and unexpected stage appearances

  5. Jun 17

    The UK Social Media Ban, Online Communities & Mental Health

    The UK social media ban for under-16s has put online safety, screen time and young people’s wellbeing back in the spotlight — but what about the positive side of digital communities?In this episode we talk social media, online friendships, gaming communities, Twitch, WhatsApp groups and how digital spaces can help people feel connected.We also mention the harder side of life online, including cyberbullying, rage bait, scrolling habits, screen time, online safety and how to notice when a digital space is affecting your mental health.Plus: Adulting Stars of the Week, IKEA blinds, health updates, productivity wins, and Weird News featuring Bruce the kayaking Alsatian and a dog with extremely questionable firearm safety skills.---------April showers by Kjartan Abel.Visit https://kjartan-abel.com/library to download royalty-free music for your next project.CC BY-SA 4.0 Attributi on-ShareAlike 4.0 International.Any Additional stock video thanks to Canva.

  6. May 20

    Why do we start things and not finish them?

    In this episode of What’s The Tea?, Lydia and Andytalk about unfinished tasks, distracted brains, ADHD traits, doomscrolling, laundry, healthy habits, gaming backlogs, and why even simple life admin can sometimes feel like a boss battle. They also share practical tools and ideas that can help,including: ScreenZen — an app Lydia uses to limit social mediaand shopping app use by creating a pause before opening distracting apps. Finch — a self-care app that works a bit like adigital pet, where looking after yourself helps your little character grow. BitePal — an app Lydia suggests to Andy as a more funway of tracking food, hydration, and healthier habits. Plus, Lydia shares an exciting update from YMCA Exeter’s newsupported accommodation in Paignton, and Weird News brings us a bear costume insurance scam and a table-tennis-playing robot. Find out more about new housing from YMCA Exeter here: https://www.ymcaexeter.org.uk/establishedpathways/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=established What’s The Tea? is hosted by Lydia and Andy, twoformer support workers catching up over a cuppa and trying to navigate life, one conversation at a time. Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe, and you canalso find What’s The Tea? on your favourite podcast platform. --------- April showers by Kjartan Abel.Visit https://kjartan-abel.com/library todownload royalty-free music for your next project.CC BY-SA 4.0 Attributi on-ShareAlike 4.0 International. Any Additional stock video thanks to Canva.

  7. May 6

    What is CBT and how can it help children and young people with anxiety, fears, and worries?

    In this episode of What’s The Tea?, Lydia and Andy are joined by Georgia, a Children’s Wellbeing Practitioner at YMCA Exeter, to talk about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), young people’s mental health, social anxiety, and practical tools that can help. They chat about CBT vs counselling, thoughts, feelings and behaviours, worry diaries, behavioural experiments, and how parents and carers can support children with their fears and worries. We also mention Helping Your Child with Their Fears and Worries by Cathy Creswell Find out more about YMCA Exeter’s CWP Wellbeing service:https://www.ymcaexeter.org.uk/services/cwpwellbeing/ Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe, and you can also find What’s the Tea? on your favourite podcast platform. Music: April Showers by Kjartan Abelhttps://kjartan-abel.com/libraryLicensed under CC BY-SA 4.0 Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International

  8. Apr 22

    Lies We Tell Ourselves: Procrastination, Perfectionism, Overthinking and Deadlines

    In this episode of What’s The Tea?, Lydia and Andy chat about the everyday lies we tell ourselves, from “I’ll do it later” and “I work better under pressure” to “everyone else is coping better than me.” We talk all things, procrastination, perfectionism, burnout, imposter syndrome, overthinking, and the pressure of adult life. Alongside their usual life updates and Gold Stars, they explore why so many of us delay tasks, aim for impossible standards, and convince ourselves that everyone else has life more sorted. There’s also a Weird News section featuring stolen Kit Kats and pilots meowing on air traffic control, so it’s not all emotional damage and to-do lists.

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About

Two ex Support workers, chatting about finding our way through life, and not being experts at it.

Information

  • Creator
    YMCA Exeter
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    45
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © YMCA Exeter
  • Show Website
    Whats The Tea?