I used to think “the Donas” were different types of women with different personalities. They liked my posts, read my newsletter, showed up to my events…. I thought they were completely different kinds of women. And then…I realized they were all me. She wants people over for dinner, but she also wants everyone to go home so she can put on her PJs and go to bed She has it together, but also does not. Despite the internet's ongoing campaign to convince us we need to pick “a core” and stick with it. We contain multitudes. You can be whimsy on Tuesday, “girly” on Thursday, and want to toss your phone into the ocean by Friday. I’ve been it all - overly ambitious, burnt-out, the social one, the one who wants to disappear. A little chaotic, slightly rigid, the hostess, the homebody, the person who wants to fit in, and the one who could care less. I contain a lot of contradictions - sometimes the layers blend beautifully and others times; one version of me wins. “Donna” who made the reservation and “Donna” who wants to cancel are constantly negotiating. Depending on the the day, the weather, the situation, or where you are today in your life - one of them is the main character. There’s the “Overthinker”, “The Dreamer” who has found her new home in Portugal on Zillow - but has yet to renew her passport. She doesn’t even know where her birth certificate is…but she knows his birth chart like the back of her hand. My fav - “The Hustler” She works herself harder than a 10 person construction crew, “The Lover” can romanticize anything, including someone else's potential, The Rebel and the Curator, who needs to be reminded that collecting a life and living one are two very different things. They are all authentic and pretty great. Even if it can get a little off the rails if one of them is running the show for too long. And because different seasons bring out different versions of us, I want to start checking in with the Donas more often - what she's obsessed with, what she's avoiding, what might make her life more interesting, and occasionally what she needs someone to tell her before she does something…well dumb. The Donas aren’t archetypes you aspire to become. They’re personalities we already have to live with. They each have something f*****g fantastic about them AND something that gets ridiculous when left unsupervised. And just like you, my “Overthinker” is currently arguing with my “Dreamer” while she’s looking at villas in Tuscany whispering, “Wouldn’t it be nice?” So let’s figure out who’s been running your life lately. Not so we can fix her by 5 PM. Just so maybe we can get her off the couch by 8. THE DONAS: SEPTEMBER 2026 September has the energy of realizing you’ve been gripping the steering wheel so tight that your hands hurt - meanwhile, you haven’t even started the car yet. August was a lot. September opens with the one to punch of wanting to get it together while somehow being annoyed with yourself that there is, once again, shit to get together. I love September - it’s my favorite month to snap back in - I think of it as more of a reset that the new year. You might want to try harder (helloooo Hustlers) or not know where to start (I’m talking to you Overthinkers) - don’t do either. September isn’t asking you to become a new person. It’s not asking you to get abs in 6 weeks ( though if you figure it out let me know). It’s asking you to stop making everything so f*****g difficult. To stop making your life harder to make it easier. yeah say that out loud…again. stop making your life harder to make it easier So this month I’m less interested in what we need to “work on” and much more interested in one question: Which part of you has been running the show lately - and does she still get the keys for September? ☁️ THE DREAMER THE CHECK-IN: She’s planning her next life because she’s sort of over this one. The Dreamer has considered moving, changing careers, starting a completely unrelated business, writing a book, becoming fluent in Italian and living anywhere but here. She does not currently speak Italian. She doesn’t even have Duolingo downloaded September isn’t asking her to stop dreaming. It’s asking her to distinguish desire from escape. HER LINE: “Maybe I don’t need a different life. Maybe I need to participate more in this one.” WHAT I’M NOTICING: REINVENTION I’ve been thinking about how quickly we start treating a little discomfort as a reason to abandon our lives. Bad week at work? New career. Sometimes the fantasizing about another life is exciting because you’re barely participating in the one you already have. I know this, because I do it too. The Dreamer in me can daydream the evening hours away, instead of making myself dinner. But there’s a difference between a storyline that keeps coming to you because it’s yours VS an idea that appeared because Tuesday sucked. YOUR MOVE : Take one thing from your imaginary life and put it into your actual life. You want to live in Paris? Go learn French. Take yourself to the French movie. Have a croissant. Spend Saturday immersed in all things France. Give the fantasy some reality. FOR THE PLOT : Book one thing you’ve been saying you want to do “someday.” I’M PRESCRIBING : A field trip. Museum you’ve never visited. Neighborhood you’ve never wandered. Train somewhere you’ve never gotten off. ⚡ THE REBEL / DISRUPTOR THE CHECK-IN Someone told her what she should do and now, unfortunately, we’re going to have to spend three days talking her out of doing the exact opposite. You want movement. You crave freedom. You want something to f*****g happen that you don’t have to take the lead on. But here’s the annoying question: Do you actually want change - or do you just hate feeling contained? They are Not the same thing. HER LINE: “I don’t have to destroy something to prove I’m free.” WHAT I’M NOTICING: WORK I’ve been stuck in this repetitive cycle of how kind of annoying it is when you’re good at something you don’t necessarily want to keep doing. There’s a particular kind of trap that comes from being capable. You’re reliable, responsible - you can handle anything. Dare I say resilient!! And suddenly the reward for being good at something, for handling the chaos and conflict with grace, is being expected to do it indefinitely. The Rebel wants to quit it all right now - I understand her. But freedom doesn’t always require a dramatic exit. Sometimes the rebellious thing is quietly building the next thing while the old thing continues paying your bills. YOUR MOVE : Identify one obligation you’ve been allowing to become your identity - when you don’t want it to be FOR THE PLOT: Say no once without providing the dissertation explaining why you’re allowed to say no. I’M PRESCRIBING: An afternoon where nobody can reach you. ♥️ THE LOVER THE CHECK-IN Venus moves into Scorpio this month and The Lover has apparently decided casual feelings are for cowards. The Lover wants it all. Intimacy, honesty, she wants to know what this IS 👀 September may reveal more in your relationships - romantic or friendships. Pay attention to where intimacy is a two way street and where you’ve been doing all the driving. HER LINE : “Access to me is not the same thing as intimacy with me.” WHAT I’M NOTICING: FRIENDSHIP I’ve been thinking about my friendship lately. Specifically how a lot of adult friendships are allowed to become wildly one-sided without anybody acknowledging it. If a dude only called when he needed something, was in the feels, forgot everything important happening in your life and expected you to continuously show up for him, your friends would have an intervention. When a friend does it? “She has a lot going on.” I mean… She probably does. We all do. But I think there’s a difference between loving someone through a difficult season and maintaining a relationship almost entirely through your own effort. The Lover doesn’t need to become colder. Her compassions and empathy is one of the best things about her. She just needs to notice who’s standing with her because they adore her and who’s there because they like who she’s standing next to or want to be in the rooms she’s gettting invited in to. YOUR MOVE: Don’t initiate, especially in that one relationship you always initiate. see what happens when you’re not maintaining the connection for both people. FOR THE PLOT: Invite the person you keep saying, “We should hang out!” to actually hang out. Get the plans out of the chat I’M PRESCRIBING: Dinner with the friend who makes you forget social media exists. 🍸 THE CURATOR THE CHECK-IN She’s currently convinced that the items in her cart with solve all her problems once she clicks “checkout”. Especially another notebook. But there’s a thin line between cultivating taste and endlessly shopping for the person you want to become. HER LINE : “I want a life with taste, not a life made of stuff.” WHAT I’M NOTICING: SPENDING How often are we trying to buy an identity? sometimes purchasing the costume gives us enough dopamine that we never actually become her. Taste isn’t the problem. I love beautiful stuff. Nothing gives me more confidence than a new fit. I just want to know whether I’m buying something because it makes my actual life better or because I’m trying on a new identity. YOUR MOVE : Before your next purchase ask: Do I want this - or do I want to be the woman I imagine owns this? FOR THE PLOT: Use the nice thing. Wear the dress. Light the candle. Eat dinner on the fancy plates. I’M PRESCRIBING: Your own house. Go shopping in it. Find three things you forgot you owned and put them back into circulation. 🌀 THE OVERTHINKER THE CHECK-IN Oh, she’s going to LOVE September. Systems? Analysis? Improvement? It’s like this
