Death on the Daily

Tanya Wilkinson

Let's bring the conversation about death out of the shadows and into the mainstream, where it belongs. Podcast hosted by bereaved mother, coach and death doula, Tanya Wilkinson

  1. Sep 25

    Why you’re already grieving before they die | Anticipatory Grief 101

    Are you caring for someone whose mind or body is slowly slipping away - or supporting a loved one as they navigate a terminal diagnosis?  What you are experiencing has a name: Anticipatory Grief, and we are going to be unpacking this today.  In today’s episode of Death on the Daily, certified grief coach Tanya Wilkinson pulls back the curtain on the silent tragedy of grieving before the end. We explore what anticipatory grief is, why it happens, and 3 practical tools to survive this emotional limbo without burning out. If this episode resonates with you, I’d love to hear any questions, reflections, or an honouring of any of your loved ones in the comments if you're watching on Spotify.  Are you journeying with grief? JOIN GRIEF COCOON, my new monthly virtual support session - a sacred space for grief in busy lives: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-cocoon  DOWNLOAD MY FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal GUIDED GRIEF MEDITATIONS PLAYLIST: https://youtu.be/JdQ60u1eHf8?si=72qCHQ5fV87Qdo-n  GUIDED "FIND YOUR SAFE PLACE" MEDITATION: https://youtu.be/RO1G2oAOIEU   Disclaimer:  This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.  Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief & Life Transitions Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com CHAPTERS: 0:00: Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive 0:35: Welcome to Death on the Daily 1:10: My Personal Story: Dementia & Anticipatory Grief 2:15: What Is Anticipatory Grief? 3:20: The 3 Hidden Realities of Pre-Death Loss 4:45: Why Society Fails Caregivers Before a Funeral 5:50: Tool 1: Separate 'Grieving the Past' from 'Meeting the Moment' 7:30: Tool 2: Releasing the 'Guilt of Living' 9:10: Tool 3: Naming the Loss As It Happens 10:35: How Employers & Friends Must Step Up 12:15: A Final Message for Every Caregiver

  2. Sep 12

    What 3 years of grief taught me about courage vs “strength”… (solo episode)

    What does grief actually make of us when we stop trying to "be strong" and start meeting our pain with a courage that allows for the messy and vulnerable parts?  Three years after the devastating death of my daughter, Ngākau Raiona (lioness heart) due to a severe birth defect that was diagnosed at her 20 week scan, I’m sitting down to honour what would be her 3rd birthday by sharing the 4 most profound lessons in grief that have completely transformed my life — not despite my grief, but because of it. If you are currently wading through loss and grief — whether you are in the raw early days, years down the path, or simply trying to navigate a major life transition—this episode offers a deeply compassionate reframe.  We break down why society’s obsession with "strength" is actually holding you back from real healing, how catastrophic loss strips away who you were to reveal a truer version of yourself, and why rebuilding your life takes its own sacred timeline. I also open up about a deeply personal update on our journey into IVF as bereaved parents, navigating PTSD and infertility, and how we can learn to resource our bodies when facing an uncertain future. 💡 KEY TAKEAWAYS & JOURNALING PROMPTS FOR HEALING: Courage Over Strength: Strength resists being moved; courage is the mental and heart-centered willingness to take the very next step, even when you're on your hands and knees.The Identity Shift: Ask yourself today: What is grief currently spotlighting in my life about what is and isn't important to carry forward?Body Connection: Learn to listen to your body’s nervous system when making restoration-based life changes or big decisions. 💬 COMMUNITY QUESTION:  Where are you currently at in your grief journey? What resonated most with you from today's conversation? Drop a comment below—I read and respond to every single one Are you journeying with grief? DOWNLOAD MY FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal GUIDED GRIEF MEDITATIONS PLAYLIST: https://youtu.be/JdQ60u1eHf8?si=72qCHQ5fV87Qdo-n  GUIDED "FIND YOUR SAFE PLACE" MEDITATION: https://youtu.be/RO1G2oAOIEU   Disclaimer:  This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.  Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief & Life Transitions Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com Chapters: 00:00: Intro: Walking through the thresholds of grief 02:38: Courage vs. Strength: Why "being strong" can be a trap and why courage allows space for your scars 07:20: Unearthing Truer Versions of Yourself: How loss acts as a transformative portal for identity 12:11: The Lifelong Tattoo of Grief: Why it’s normal for loss to still feel surreal years later 15:20: Rebuilding on Your Own Timeline: Resisting societal pressure to "move on" 16:49: Personal Share: Entering IVF after loss, body connection, and preparing your internal toolkit

  3. Aug 28

    Guided mindful walk for grief and other hard days

    If today feels heavy, overwhelming, or filled with grief, give yourself permission to step into the slow lane. This guided walking meditation is a gentle, moving practice designed to help you reconnect with the world through all five senses.  Whether you are navigating grief & loss, challenging life transitions, or simply a stressful and exhausting day, this session invites you to drop your shoulders, expand your horizon, and let the earth support you and your steps. If you are unable to walk, simply find a beautiful spot in nature to sit in, or soak up the view through a window. This practice has been designed to meet you where you are.  If this meditation supports you, please like, subscribe, or share it with someone who might need it too.  Safety notice: Please practice this walk only in a safe, familiar environment. Keep your volume low and keep at least one earbud out so you remain fully aware of your surroundings at all times.  Disclaimer:  This content is for entertainment and informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. This practice invites gentle awareness of your body and surroundings. Before you begin, check in with yourself and see whether it feels right for you to do this guided meditation today. You know yourself best - trust what feels right for you. This walking meditation is not a substitute for professional mental health care.  What This Meditation Is For Navigating Heavy Days: A safe space when you're experiencing grief, emotional overwhelm, or difficult life transitions.Finding Grounding: Reconnecting your mind to your physical body through slow, intentional steps and the 5 senses exploration.Breaking Tunnel Vision: Shifting out of stressed "fight-or-flight" focus by expanding your peripheral gaze.A Gentle Pause: Giving yourself permission to step into the "slow lane" without any expectation to be strong. Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief & Life Transitions Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com Chapters: 00:00: Welcome  01:10: Meditation Starts: Stepping into the Slow Lane (Pacing Your Breath) 06:05: The 5 Senses Practice (Sight, Sound, Touch, Smell, Taste)

  4. Aug 15

    5 minute grief check in ritual for busy days

    Do you ever feel like your busy life leaves no space for your grief? If so, you are not alone - even as a grief coach myself, I do! When we lead full lives, it’s easy for our grief to get crowded out, or for us to be in unconscious avoidance, where we pack our to-do lists and avoid sitting with and feeling our grief.  But honouring and making space for loss and grief doesn't always require elaborate rituals that take up an afternoon. Sometimes, all it needs is five minutes of gentle presence. In this quick 5-minute guided check-in, I (Tanya Wilkinson, an AC, IPHM and ACCPH certified Grief & Life Transitions Coach) guide you through a simple 3-step micro-ritual designed specifically for busy grievers: 1. Micro-grounding through breath and connection 2. Naming & validating your grief without judgment 3. Listening within to ask: "What do I need right now?" IMPORTANT NOTE:  Please meet yourself exactly where you are today. Only participate in this ritual if it feels right and safe for you in your grief today.  DISCLAIMER: This video and podcast is for educational, informational, entertainment and supportive purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, mental health therapy, or clinical treatment. Tanya is a certified Grief Coach, not a licensed healthcare provider or therapist.  Participation in this guided check-in is voluntary, and it is important that you honour your own needs and boundaries. If you are experiencing overwhelming distress, severe depression, or a mental health crisis, please reach out to a licensed professional or contact your local emergency/crisis services immediately. IN NEED OF IMMEDIATE SUPPORT?  Please visit findahelpline.com to find free, confidential support in your country. Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief & Life Transitions Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com CHAPTERS: 0:00: Introduction: Grief for Busy Lives 02:15: Setting Your Practice (You Are Your Best Guide) 02:36: Step 1: Micro-Grounding & Breathwork 03:38: Step 2: Asking How Your Grief Is Present Today?  04:31: Step 3: Validating Your Grief.  05:13: Step 4: Asking What You Need Today 06:01: Writing Your "Permission Slip" To Support Your Grief 06:30: Gentle Closing & Support

  5. Aug 1

    Grief 101: The truth about loss that no one taught us

    Have you ever felt completely confused by your grief? Or are you supporting someone who's grieving and don't know where to start? This is my Grief 101 - everything I wish I'd been taught about grief long before grief became part of my life. I'm Tanya Wilkinson, AC, IPHM and ACCPH certified Grief and Life transitions coach and bereaved mother to my daughter Ngākau Raiona (lioness heart in Māori). In this episode I share my 5 Grief Essentials: Grief is more than temporary sadness — grief is a full mind, body and spirit experience, showing up as anger, numbness, brain fog, a dysregulated nervous system, and even deep joy.Grief doesn't end, it integrates — using Lois Tonkin's "Growing Around Grief" model to explain why grief isn't linear and doesn't need to shrink or disappear.Grief is unique to each of us — exploring instrumental vs intuitive grieving styles, and how to spot when either tips into avoidance.Presence and curiosity beats avoiding or fixing — practical language for supporting a griever, including how to ask permission to check in.Their name matters — why saying the name of someone's person or pet, and continuing bonds practices, matter so deeply in grief. Whether you're grieving, supporting someone who is, or just want the language and tools around grief that none of us were taught growing up — this episode is for you. Are you journeying with grief? JOIN GRIEF COCOON, my new monthly virtual support session - a sacred space for grief in busy lives: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-cocoon  DOWNLOAD MY FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal GUIDED GRIEF MEDITATIONS PLAYLIST: https://youtu.be/JdQ60u1eHf8?si=72qCHQ5fV87Qdo-n  GUIDED "FIND YOUR SAFE PLACE" MEDITATION: https://youtu.be/RO1G2oAOIEU   Disclaimer:  This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.  Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief & Life Transitions Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com Chapters: 00:00: Introduction to Grief and Why It Matters02:20: Understanding All Forms of Loss and Transition04:16: Grief as Love and Its Variations05:14: Physical and Emotional Manifestations of Grief06:40: Secondary Losses and Their Impact08:04: The Non-Linear Nature of Grief: Lois Tonkin's Grow Around Grief Model10:00: Unique Grieving Styles: Instrumental and Intuitive12:17: Supporting Grievers with Presence and Curiosity13:10: The Power of Saying Their Name16:27: Final Thoughts and Resources for Grief Support

  6. Jul 23

    Grieving a parent you never knew with Miranda Malone | Preverbal loss

    She has no memories of her mother's voice, her laugh, or ever being held by her. Miranda Malone - clinical therapist, hypnotherapist, "dead mom girly," and founder of the Dead Mom Club - lost her mum Rosalie when she was just five months old. In this episode of Death on the Daily, Miranda and I go deep into what it means to grieve a parent you never consciously knew: how preverbal loss roots itself into the nervous system, why so many early-loss daughters become high achievers as a way of outrunning the feeling, and how to tell if a relationship is safe enough to hold your grief. We also talk about grief rituals (including the coffee ritual that made her famous), micro-dosing grief instead of saving it for the big anniversaries, and the permission slips every griever deserves to give themselves. Are you journeying with grief? JOIN GRIEF COCOON, my new monthly virtual support session - a sacred space for grief in busy lives: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-cocoon  DOWNLOAD MY FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal GUIDED "FIND YOUR SAFE PLACE" MEDITATION: https://youtu.be/RO1G2oAOIEU   Disclaimer:  This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.  In this episode: What it's like to grieve someone you have zero conscious memory ofWhy early mother-loss often creates "high-functioning overachievers"How to spot whether someone is safe to grieve in front ofPractical grief rituals: the coffee ritual, digital altars, and "micro-dosing" griefSpirituality, soul contracts, and what her mum might think of her life nowThe permission slips every griever needs to hear Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief & Life Transitions Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk You can connect with Miranda Malone here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deadmomtherapistCheck out Miranda's website for her offerings including membership, plus merch: https://www.mirandamalone.com The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com Chapters: 0:00 – Intro: growing up with no memory of your mother 1:20 – Miranda's story: losing her mum at 5 months old 2:37 – Grief that lives in the body, not just memory 5:32 – High-functioning grief and the overachiever pattern 8:32 – Grief, empathy, and vulnerability to toxic relationships 10:26 – The "safe person" checkpoint: can they hold your grieving inner child? 14:32 – How to show up for a grieving friend, even years later 19:10 – Fragments, stories, and building a picture of who they were 22:28 – Becoming older than your mother ever lived to be 23:31 – Soul contracts and what her mum might think of her life now 26:13 – Storytelling, graveyards, and immortalising the people we've lost 29:23 – Positive nihilism and making peace with being forgotten 32:18 – Numbing out vs. spiritual connection through grief 35:57 – The coffee ritual — how it started and what it means 39:16 – Microdosing grief instead of saving it for the big days 40:26 – Restorative vs. performative: the test for any grief ritual 41:13 – The permission slips every griever deserves

  7. Jun 20

    Steady like a tree: Grounding meditation for grief & stormy days

    When grief makes life feel unsteady, sometimes what we need isn't to "fix" the feeling - it's to find something solid to stand on.  This guided meditation invites you to visualise yourself as a tree: roots growing deep and stable into the earth, a steady trunk at your core, and branches that can move with life's winds without losing their connection to what holds them. Grief is a part of us - but it is not all of us. This practice offers a few quiet minutes to reconnect with the steadiness that's still there within, even on the hardest days. This meditation is for you if:🌳 You're feeling ungrounded or overwhelmed by grief🌳 You want a short, accessible practice (eyes open or closed)🌳 You want to connect to a sense of calm, safety or neutrality within.  In this guided meditation, you'll: Visualise roots growing from your feet into the earthConnect to the steady "trunk" within your coreExplore your branches - the more delicate, moveable parts of youReturn to a felt sense of stability that you can access anytime If this meditation supports you, please like, subscribe, or share it with someone who might need it too.  Disclaimer:  This content is for entertainment and informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. This practice invites gentle awareness of your body. Before you begin, check in with yourself and see whether it feels right for you to do this meditation today. You know yourself best - trust what feels right for you. This meditation is not a substitute for professional mental health care.  Are you journeying with grief? Download my FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal JOIN GRIEF COCOON, my new monthly virtual event - a sacred space for grief in busy lives: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-cocoon Follow & Support Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this meditation with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/ Buy me a coffee and support the production of this free podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/tanyawilkinson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/death_onthedaily  Find out about my work including as a grief coach: www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedaily This meditation is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com Chapters: 0:00: Introduction 0:54: Guided Meditation Begins

  8. Jun 13

    Father's Day grief survival guide: Permission to do it your way

    Does Father's Day fill you with grief and dread? You're not alone, for many grievers this day is so hard. This episode is your Father's Day grief survival guide. Whether your dad, stepdad, or any other father figure in your life has died, whether your relationship with your dad is complicated or estranged, whether you've lost a child or been through any stage of baby loss, or whether you simply long for the family life you imagined - all of you and your grief is welcome here. In this episode, I (Tanya Wilkinson, an AC certified grief and life transitions coach and bereaved mother) will walk you through: → Why grief intensifies on mass celebration days like Father's Day and Mother’s Day.  → The secondary losses we rarely talk about when we lose a father figure.  → How to approach Father's Day on your own terms — from honouring your person in your way, to setting boundaries of sacred no's, to giving yourself full permission to opt out.  → The permission slip practice: a journalling exercise to help you move from intention to action There is no one-size-fits-all in grief. This episode will help you understand what Father's Day can look like when it honours you — in all your uniqueness. If this episode resonated, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you're new here, hit subscribe - new episodes every week on grief, life transitions, and finding your forwards path. Are you journeying with grief? JOIN GRIEF COCOON, my new monthly virtual support session - a sacred space for grief in busy lives: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-cocoon  DOWNLOAD MY FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal GUIDED "FIND YOUR SAFE PLACE" MEDITATION: https://youtu.be/RO1G2oAOIEU   Disclaimer:  This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.  Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief & Life Transitions Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com

About

Let's bring the conversation about death out of the shadows and into the mainstream, where it belongs. Podcast hosted by bereaved mother, coach and death doula, Tanya Wilkinson