You Have the Power - The Road to Truth, Freedom and Real Connection

Darla Ridilla

You Have the Power: The Road to Truth, Freedom and Real Connection is for women who are done asking why emotionally unavailable men keep showing up — and are finally ready to change the way they relate. This isn’t a podcast about fixing yourself or dissecting your past.It’s for the woman who has outgrown the old patterns and is tired of repeating the same dynamic with different men. The chemistry is there. The potential is there. And yet… the consistency, depth, and emotional presence never fully arrive. Hosted by Darla Ridilla, certified somatic, trauma-informed Relationship and Self-Leadership Coach, this podcast is rooted in the Magnetic Connections Pathway — Presence, Agency, and Empowerment — the embodied shift that changes who you attract and what you tolerate. Here, we name the moments most women minimize:  when your jaw tightens because he didn’t follow up after the date and you tell yourself not to make a big deal out of it, when you soften your voice before asking for consistency so you don’t seem “too much,” when you swallow your disappointment and say you’re fine because you don’t want to lose the connection.  That’s not maturity. That’s self-abandonment dressed up as patience.  Emotionally unavailable men aren’t the problem — they’re the feedback.  They show up when you’re still over-functioning in connection: waiting longer than you want for a text back, explaining away inconsistency, accepting vague plans, or telling yourself “this is just how dating is now” instead of naming what you actually need. Each episode names what most women are taught to tolerate — inconsistency, silence, mixed signals — and challenges you to stop managing relationships that require you to disappear, so you can lead from self-trust, clear standards, and agency that doesn’t ask permission.   This isn’t about becoming harder or more guarded. It’s about becoming unavailable for anything that requires self-betrayal.  Because you’re not asking for too much.You’ve just been accepting too little. And that ends here.

  1. 80: From People-Pleasing to Self-Leadership - Stop Fixing Men Who Won’t Show Up With Catherine Crestani

    4D AGO

    80: From People-Pleasing to Self-Leadership - Stop Fixing Men Who Won’t Show Up With Catherine Crestani

    If you’ve ever called yourself a “recovering people pleaser,” this episode is going to hit. People-pleasing doesn’t just show up in friendships or family dynamics. It shows up in who you date. It looks like:  Over-functioning. Over-giving. Seeing potential and trying to help him become it. Shrinking your preferences to keep the peace. Calling it loyalty when it’s actually self-abandonment.In this conversation, Catherine Crestani shares how she lost herself in marriage, in business, and in the identity of being the fixer — the one who holds everything together. And here’s the deeper truth: The way you tolerate misalignment in your work is often the same way you tolerate it in love. We talk about:  The fixer identity and how it forms Losing yourself in relationships without realizing it Shedding identities that no longer fit Saying no — even when there’s pushback Why emotionally willing men are drawn to women who have already chosen themselvesEmotionally unavailable men aren’t random. They’re aligned with the version of you that is still managing everyone. When you move from people-pleasing to self-leadership, your relationships change — because you change. This isn’t about fixing him. It’s about choosing yourself. Connect with Catherine Crestani: Website: https://willowhealing.org/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/willowhealingsh Podcast - Willow Healing Matters: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/willow-healing-matters-podcast/id1760975061 Substack: https://willowhealing.substack.com/podcast Connect with Darla Ridilla: 3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    36 min
  2. 79: Stop Tolerating What Drains You - Why Peace Is Not Optional

    FEB 9

    79: Stop Tolerating What Drains You - Why Peace Is Not Optional

    You don’t need more insight. You need less tolerance. In this episode, Darla gets brutally honest about peace — not the performative version that looks good on the outside, but the kind that actually lets your nervous system settle and your life move forward. This is a conversation for women who have been staying because it’s doable. Staying because it’s not that bad. Staying because leaving feels harder than tolerating what’s draining them. We’re talking about emotionally unavailable men — the confusion, the half-connection, the waiting, the low-grade tension that slowly becomes normal. And we’re also talking about emotionally willing men — why peace is the filter that reveals the difference, and why so many women never get to experience that kind of connection because they’re still negotiating with what they already know doesn’t work. This episode weaves together real-life stories about relationships, family dynamics, holidays, motherhood, and the quiet exhaustion that comes from constantly managing emotional environments that aren’t aligned. This is not about fixing yourself. It’s about stopping self-abandonment. You’ll hear why: “Doable” keeps women tiredPeace exposes confusion, inconsistency, and half-connectionWaiting for later is how women stay stuckAnd why peace isn’t passive — it requires choosing differently, even when it’s uncomfortableIf you’re ready to stop tolerating what drains you and start building a life that can actually hold an emotionally willing partner, this episode will meet you exactly where you are. Peace isn’t optional. And neither is the life you’re here to live. Connect with Darla Ridilla: 3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    24 min
  3. 78: He’s Not Confused — He’s Entitled

    FEB 2

    78: He’s Not Confused — He’s Entitled

    He’s not confused. He knows exactly what he’s doing. What he’s struggling with isn’t attraction — it’s losing entitlement to access. In this episode, we dismantle one of the most exhausting lies women have been conditioned to believe: that when a man is inconsistent, vague, or avoidant, it’s because he “doesn’t know what he wants.” He knows exactly what he wants — access without accountability. He wants your time without responsibility. Your attention without consistency. Your emotional labor without reciprocity. And the moment access becomes conditional, entitlement shows itself. This episode is for the woman who is done: explaining basic expectations, waiting for clarity that never comes, and shrinking herself to keep the peace. We talk about: • Why emotionally unavailable men feel entitled to women’s time, attention, bodies, and emotional labor • The difference between attraction and access — and why confusing the two keeps women negotiating with entitlement • How entitlement disguises itself as avoidance, deflection, silence, and gaslighting • Why your irritation, anger, and exhaustion are not flaws — they’re boundary alarms • What actually changes when you stop accommodating entitlement and start regulating access • Valentine’s Day as a mirror — not a reset button • Why flowers, gifts, or one “good day” don’t erase patterns of emotional absence • What emotionally available men do differently — without pushback, punishment, or power games This isn’t about blaming men. It’s about ending self-abandonment. Your future self isn’t more patient. She’s more discerning. She doesn’t argue for clarity. She watches behavior. She doesn’t earn peace by disappearing. She protects it through alignment — even when it costs her approval. If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much” for wanting consistency… If you’ve ever felt chemistry without safety… If you’ve ever watched a man pull away the moment you held a boundary… This episode names what most women are pressured to excuse. Because emotionally unavailable men aren’t the goal. They’re the entitlement pattern you stop repeating. And once you stop negotiating with entitlement, your entire relationship dynamic changes. And if you’re ready to stop negotiating with entitlement and start choosing from clarity, my masterclass Three Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men is available now. Link in show notes. You’re not asking for too much. You’re asking the wrong men. Connect with Darla Ridilla: 3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    24 min
  4. 77: Divorce Doesn’t Create the Problem — It Reveals It With Mardi Winder-Adams

    JAN 26

    77: Divorce Doesn’t Create the Problem — It Reveals It With Mardi Winder-Adams

    Divorce doesn’t create the problem. It exposes what’s already been there. In this episode, I sit down with divorce coach Mardi Winder-Adams to talk honestly about what divorce actually reveals — especially for high-achieving women who have spent years holding everything together. We talk about: Emotional loneliness inside relationships that aren’t “technically” abusive.The pressure women face to keep the family intact while excelling professionally.How divorce brings hidden dynamics into the open — emotional unavailability, financial control, high-conflict behavior, and the unspoken expectation that women should carry it all without falling apart.This is not a conversation about blaming men or glorifying divorce. It’s about clarity. Divorce shines a spotlight on patterns that were already present long before papers were filed. It reveals where emotional labor has been one-sided, where access to information or power has been uneven, and where a woman has been quietly minimizing her own experience to keep the peace. We also talk about the real costs of divorce — emotional, financial, physical — and why clarity often comes with consequences. Not because a woman failed, but because she stopped pretending. This episode is for women who are single, married, divorcing, or simply questioning what they’ve been normalizing in their relationships. Divorce is not the end of a woman’s life. For many women, it’s the moment the truth finally comes into focus. Connect with Mardi Winder-Adams: Website: https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/ Connect with Darla Ridilla: 3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    1h 1m
  5. 76: Discernment vs. Desire - Why Red Flags Get Negotiated

    JAN 19

    76: Discernment vs. Desire - Why Red Flags Get Negotiated

    Women don’t ignore red flags. They negotiate with them. They explain them away. They minimize what doesn’t feel right. They tell themselves it’s not that bad, he just needs time, maybe they’re asking for too much. And the cost of that negotiation is exhaustion. In this episode, we’re talking about the difference between discernment and desire — and why so many women keep finding themselves in relationships with emotionally unavailable men. This is not a conversation about fixing men. And it’s not about blaming yourself either. It’s about getting honest about the patterns you’ve been rationalizing, the standards you’ve been negotiating, and the moments your body already knew the truth long before your mind caught up. We’re breaking down what emotional unavailability actually looks like in real life — not silence, not slowness, not “men just being men” — but inconsistency, avoidance, defensiveness, lack of accountability, and disappearing when things get uncomfortable. We’re also talking about the difference between emotionally unavailable men and emotionally willing men, and the part you play in discerning that early, before you over-invest, over-give, or abandon yourself for connection. And because Valentine’s Day has a way of exposing the gap between what you want and what you’re actually experiencing, this episode goes straight into the quiet frustration so many women feel this time of year — whether you’re single, dating, or partnered — and why it’s not the holiday that hurts, it’s the pattern. Inside this episode, I’m also announcing my brand new masterclass, 3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men, created for the woman who is done choosing potential over reality and ready to relate differently — starting with herself. If this episode hits, it’s probably because you already know something needs to change. This is where that shift begins. Connect with Darla Ridilla: 3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    27 min
  6. 75: You’re Not Being Ghosted - You’re Being Shown the Standard

    JAN 12

    75: You’re Not Being Ghosted - You’re Being Shown the Standard

    Connection means nothing without follow-through. Not chemistry. Not shared values. Not deep conversation on day one. In this episode, I break down why consistency matters more than potential, and how women get stuck explaining behavior instead of observing it. You’ll hear: why “invest and test” is not manipulation, it’s discernmenthow reciprocity shows up in action, not intentionwhat it actually means to be stood upwhy blocking and deleting can be aligned, decisive, and groundedhow access is earned through behavior, not promisesThis is not about waiting longer, explaining better, or staying hopeful. It’s about enforcing standards in real time and choosing clarity over confusion. If something in you tightened, leaned in, or went quiet while listening, don’t brush past that. That wasn’t inspiration. It was recognition. You’re not asking for too much. You’re finally asking for balance. And when you stop giving full access before it’s earned, everything changes. Connect with Darla Ridilla: 3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    14 min
  7. 74:  Fear Is the Signal - Why Fear Rises Right Before Your Next Level in Relationships With Cassandra Rosa

    JAN 5

    74: Fear Is the Signal - Why Fear Rises Right Before Your Next Level in Relationships With Cassandra Rosa

    Fear isn’t showing up because you’re doing something wrong. It’s showing up because you’re about to outgrow the version of yourself that felt familiar. This episode follows our conversations on Expression and Standards inside the Magnetic Connections Pathway — the moment after you’ve found your voice and raised the bar… when fear suddenly gets loud. Not because you failed. But because something is about to change. In this conversation, we explore: Why fear is often the signal that you’re on the edge of expansionHow energetic intuition guides you when logic can’tWhat imposter syndrome actually reveals about your next levelWhy the same patterns surface in business, dating, and relationships right before a breakthroughHow clarity is created by staying in motion without abandoning yourselfThis episode was recorded six months ago, and listening back now, the message is unmistakable. Sometimes what looks like a setback is a bridge. A bridge between who you were… and who you’re becoming. I share a personal truth about choosing presence over pride, leaving old identities behind, and why forcing certainty will never give you the clarity you’re looking for. If you’ve ever thought: “I should be past this by now,” or “If I were really aligned, this wouldn’t be happening,” This episode will meet you exactly where you are. Because fear isn’t here to stop you. It’s here to signal that you’re ready to rise. Connect with Cassandra Rosa: Website: https://www.cassandrarosa.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cassandrarosaa Connect with Darla Ridilla: 3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    44 min
  8. 73: Standards Aren’t the Problem, Self-Abandonment Is

    12/29/2025

    73: Standards Aren’t the Problem, Self-Abandonment Is

    Let’s get something straight. If your standards feel “too much,” it’s not because they are. It’s because you’ve been abandoning yourself for so long that self-respect feels aggressive. This episode is not gentle. It’s not reassuring. And it’s not here to make you feel better about what you’re tolerating. It’s here to tell the truth. In this episode of You Have the Power – The Road to Truth, Freedom and Real Connection, Darla Ridilla dismantles the lie that standards scare men away and names what’s actually happening: You’re not losing men. You’re losing yourself. This conversation is for the woman who: Knows better but still accepts breadcrumbingExplains her needs instead of standing in themFeels resentment building and doesn’t know whyKeeps telling herself “it’s not that bad” when her body knows it isDarla shares raw, unfiltered stories about holding standards in real time, why emotionally unavailable men are repelled by embodied women, and the moment she crossed a value she had never crossed before because she couldn’t yet express her standards. Not because she didn’t have values. But because she didn’t yet have Presence. This episode will challenge you to look at: Where you soften instead of speakWhere you negotiate instead of chooseWhere you accept excuses instead of alignmentStandards are not rules for other people. They are the line you stop crossing back over when you’re tempted to betray yourself. You’re not too much. You’re just accepting too little. And if this feels confronting, good. That’s the sound of self-abandonment ending. If you’re done negotiating your standards, book a Magnetic Connections Call and move as the woman who chooses herself.  Connect with Darla Ridilla: 3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    22 min
4.3
out of 5
12 Ratings

About

You Have the Power: The Road to Truth, Freedom and Real Connection is for women who are done asking why emotionally unavailable men keep showing up — and are finally ready to change the way they relate. This isn’t a podcast about fixing yourself or dissecting your past.It’s for the woman who has outgrown the old patterns and is tired of repeating the same dynamic with different men. The chemistry is there. The potential is there. And yet… the consistency, depth, and emotional presence never fully arrive. Hosted by Darla Ridilla, certified somatic, trauma-informed Relationship and Self-Leadership Coach, this podcast is rooted in the Magnetic Connections Pathway — Presence, Agency, and Empowerment — the embodied shift that changes who you attract and what you tolerate. Here, we name the moments most women minimize:  when your jaw tightens because he didn’t follow up after the date and you tell yourself not to make a big deal out of it, when you soften your voice before asking for consistency so you don’t seem “too much,” when you swallow your disappointment and say you’re fine because you don’t want to lose the connection.  That’s not maturity. That’s self-abandonment dressed up as patience.  Emotionally unavailable men aren’t the problem — they’re the feedback.  They show up when you’re still over-functioning in connection: waiting longer than you want for a text back, explaining away inconsistency, accepting vague plans, or telling yourself “this is just how dating is now” instead of naming what you actually need. Each episode names what most women are taught to tolerate — inconsistency, silence, mixed signals — and challenges you to stop managing relationships that require you to disappear, so you can lead from self-trust, clear standards, and agency that doesn’t ask permission.   This isn’t about becoming harder or more guarded. It’s about becoming unavailable for anything that requires self-betrayal.  Because you’re not asking for too much.You’ve just been accepting too little. And that ends here.

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