Black and White and Gold

Carly and Rob Allred
  • 5.0 (11)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Deep conversations are a whole love language, and we're going there! Talking about many different topics, from the mundane to the taboo--we'll make it complicated, we'll hopefully create a little empathy and decrease judgment of others along the way. blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com

  1. Jul 16

    Episode 81 - Integration

    What good is all this listening and learning if we don’t learn to apply it? Let us show you one of the ways we do that. Integration through processing and tying the loose ends together. You’ll see us circle back to topics and bring a new perspective or caveat as we do. This is our season 4 finale! We’ll be back for season 5 sometime late summer/early fall…as soon as we can get our plan settled. Thanks for allowing space for us to be multidimensional beings. Resources we mention in this episode: Jason Lang and Melanie Curtin Evolutionary Men Follow us on Instagram: @blackandwhiteandgold @wildravenbreathwork @greatsexforgoodguys This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

  2. Jul 9

    Episode 80 - Revisiting Partnership Over Hierarchy in a Marriage

    Revisiting part 3 of our relationship series from season 1. It ends with us saying a bunch of big words, but words that changed the game for us. If things like “differentiation,” “enmeshment,” and “co-create” are new-ish to you, hopefully there’s something good in this listen for you to take to your own relationships. Join the chat, and let’s talk about what we’re learning together! Some links to a few of the articles, etc. we discuss in the episode: https://www.crucible4points.com/crucible-four-points-balance/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enmeshment https://www.simplypsychology.org/attachment.html https://psychcentral.com/relationships/why-you-need-a-strong-sense-of-self-and-how-to-boost-it https://www.thebowencenter.org/differentiation-of-self Follow us on Instagram: @blackandwhiteandgold @wildravenbreathwork @greatsexforgoodguys This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

  3. Jul 2

    Episode 79 - Revisiting Vulnerability in Male/Female Relationships

    We are throwing it back to a 3-part series we originally recorded at the beginning of season 1, revisiting the conversation, woven into this season about individual and relationship growth. This is part 2 of the 3 episodes. There’s a lot of discussion about relationships and vulnerability, but it seems that men have a bit of a bad rap in this particular arena. But what does culture AND the women in their lives have to do with it? Let’s chat about whether or not we want men to even BE vulnerable, and if so, how do we encourage it? SHOW NOTES: Brene Brown’s TEDx talk about shame: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/emasculation https://www.huffpost.com/entry/violence-against-women_b_1959746 https://www.reddit.com/r/AskFeminists/comments/18slkug/thoughts_on_the_word_emasculate/ https://onbeing.org/blog/jonathan-p-higgins-what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-man/ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/nov/13/what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-man-reader-responses#:~:text=I%20can%20cook%2C%20clean%2C%20buy,more%20open%20and%20fulfilling%20fashion https://www.themix.org.uk/your-body/mens-health/what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-man-in-2018-29605.html#:~:text=It%20means%20not%20being%20afraid,and%20uplifting%20those%20around%20you.%E2%80%9D https://www.utdailybeacon.com/opinion/columns/making-of-man-what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-man/article_1a9f5836-2068-11ec-abd1-f3615d73f13d.html https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/byusq/vol45/iss3/1/#:~:text=Most%20Mormons%20have%20heard%20of,from%20the%20effects%20of%20exposure https://brycox.com/lds/BryCox-SweetwaterRescue.pdf https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=3783&context=byusq Follow us on Instagram: @blackandwhiteandgold @wildravenbreathwork @greatsexforgoodguys This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

  4. Jun 25

    Episode 78 - Revisiting Men & Relationships

    We are throwing it back to a 3-part series we originally recorded at the beginning of season 1, revisiting the conversation, woven into this season about individual and relationship growth. In this episode, we explore the unwritten social norms that govern men's interactions with other humans, alongside a deep dive into vulnerability, friendship, and emotional intimacy among men. We unpack how societal expectations shape behavior and how breaking these norms can transform relationships. This episode underscores how societal norms influence men's behavior in both public and private contexts and encourages embracing vulnerability to foster authentic relationships. We challenge the stereotype that strength means emotional stoicism and advocate for a culture of openness, support, and vulnerability to strengthen our communities. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

  5. Jun 18

    Episode 77 - The Irreversible Spiral

    In this episode, Carly introduces her innovative ‘Irreversible Spiral’ framework, a powerful tool for understanding personal and relational growth through paradigm shifts and choices. She discusses how recognizing these shifts can lead to greater agency and healthier relationships. For more info on working with The Irreversible Spiral, reach out to Carly on her website carlyallred.com, or through Instagram at @wildravenbreathwork. Follow us on Instagram: @blackandwhiteandgold @wildravenbreathwork @greatsexforgoodguys This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

    Episode 77 - The Irreversible Spiral

  6. Jun 11

    Episode 76 - Balancing Inner Harmony with Other Relationships

    Understanding the balance between our inner and outer worlds is crucial. We often think of sacred marriage as just a union between two people, but the capacity to relate well with others starts deeply inside the individual. As we work toward this inner balance, we can bring that whole self into our relationships. Imagine being able to hold space for someone else’s differences while still remaining true to yourself. Not only is it possible, it’s necessary for deep intimacy. The real magic is in the dance of differentiation, where we can connect deeply without losing who we are. What are your thoughts on this balance? We’d love to hear! Follow us on Instagram: @blackandwhiteandgold @wildravenbreathwork @greatsexforgoodguys This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

  7. Jun 4

    Episode 75 - Religion + Marriage + Secret Porn

    Taking a break from the series we started because a conversation was alive in us the day we recorded. We discuss relationship dynamics, specifically within a religious framing, when pornography is part of the story. This episode explores the complex relationship between purity culture, sexuality, pornography, and religious frameworks. Carly and Rob discuss historical perspectives, cultural influences, and the impact of religious teachings on perceptions of sexuality and addiction. It’s a wild ride…you ready? This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Instagram handles: @blackandwhiteandgold @wildravenbreathwork @greatsexforgoodguys Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

  8. May 28

    Episode 74 - Sacred Marriage -- With Yourself??

    This episode explores the concept of sacred marriage as introduced by Carl Jung, focusing on internal integration and individuation. It discusses the union of masculine and feminine energies within oneself, the symbolism across cultures, and practical insights for personal wholeness. Because sometimes us Western peeps need eastern philosophy reframed before we can hear it or understand it. This is not new—this is ancient understanding taught from a psychological framing that is essential to further emotional growth. Follow us on the socials: @blackandwhiteandgold | @wildravenbreathwork | @greatsexforgoodguys This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

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About

Deep conversations are a whole love language, and we're going there! Talking about many different topics, from the mundane to the taboo--we'll make it complicated, we'll hopefully create a little empathy and decrease judgment of others along the way. blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    Carly and Rob Allred
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    82
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Carly Allred
  • Show Website
    Black and White and Gold