Black and White and Gold

Carly and Rob Allred
  • 5.0 (11)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Deep conversations are a whole love language, and we're going there! Talking about many different topics, from the mundane to the taboo--we'll make it complicated, we'll hopefully create a little empathy and decrease judgment of others along the way. blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com

  1. 4d ago

    Episode 76 - Balancing Inner Harmony and Other Relationships

    Understanding the balance between our inner and outer worlds is crucial. We often think of sacred marriage as just a union between two people, but the capacity to relate well with others starts deeply inside the individual. As we work toward this inner balance, we can bring that whole self into our relationships. Imagine being able to hold space for someone else’s differences while still remaining true to yourself. Not only is it possible, it’s necessary for deep intimacy. The real magic is in the dance of differentiation, where we can connect deeply without losing who we are. What are your thoughts on this balance? We’d love to hear! Follow us on Instagram: @blackandwhiteandgold @wildravenbreathwork @greatsexforgoodguys This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

    54 min

  2. Jun 4

    Episode 75 - Religion + Marriage + Secret Porn

    Taking a break from the series we started because a conversation was alive in us the day we recorded. We discuss relationship dynamics, specifically within a religious framing, when pornography is part of the story. This episode explores the complex relationship between purity culture, sexuality, pornography, and religious frameworks. Carly and Rob discuss historical perspectives, cultural influences, and the impact of religious teachings on perceptions of sexuality and addiction. It’s a wild ride…you ready? This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Instagram handles: @blackandwhiteandgold @wildravenbreathwork @greatsexforgoodguys Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 10m

  3. May 28

    Episode 74 - Sacred Marriage -- With Yourself??

    This episode explores the concept of sacred marriage as introduced by Carl Jung, focusing on internal integration and individuation. It discusses the union of masculine and feminine energies within oneself, the symbolism across cultures, and practical insights for personal wholeness. Because sometimes us Western peeps need eastern philosophy reframed before we can hear it or understand it. This is not new—this is ancient understanding taught from a psychological framing that is essential to further emotional growth. Follow us on the socials: @blackandwhiteandgold | @wildravenbreathwork | @greatsexforgoodguys This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

    32 min

  4. May 21

    Episode 73 - Stay Connected to Your Spouse Without Losing Yourself

    As humans, we both want to be in deep connection AND own ourselves. The balance can be precarious. This episode helps walk us through some ways to get there individually and then as a couple. As discussed in the episode, this practice below can be super beneficial when you hit a rough patch to repair the intentional and unintentional damage caused through miscommunication. Rupture-and-Repair Ritual A Guided Couple Practice: Use this after the storm has passed — not in the middle of it. Sit facing each other, feet on the floor, phones away. Take three slow breaths together before you begin. * The Cooldown Check-In — Each person answers: "On a scale of 1–10, how regulated do I feel? What does my body need before I can really be here?" If either person is below a 5, pause. Take what you need — water, a walk, five minutes alone, then come back. * Uninterrupted Witness — (5–7 min each) One person speaks, the other listens — no sighs, no nods that are really disagreements. When the speaker finishes, the listener reflects back what they heard — not a rebuttal, just: “What I heard is….” Then switch. Consider the following phrases: "During the argument, my body felt ___” “I noticed [tight chest / shutdown / heat in my face / the urge to leave].” “The story I told myself was ___.” “What I actually needed was ___.” “What I'm still carrying is ___." * Accountability Without Collapse — Real accountability is neither over-apology nor deflection; it's clarity. Don't perform remorse you don't feel, and don't minimize to protect yourself. After both people speak, sit in silence for a moment. Let it land. "My part in this was ___.” ”I can see how [the tone I used / the way I shut down / what I said] felt/sounded like ___ for you.” “That wasn't what I wanted to create between us." * The Reach — One person extends their hand — palm up and open as an offering. Not as a grab, simply extending. The other places their hand in it, or says: "I'm not quite there — give me a moment." The first hand stays open and waiting, allowing the patience to help feed the repair. Close with something that feels good to the two of you, such as a phrase, gesture, familiar touch, something. End with each partner completing the sentence "What I want you to know right now is ___." More information on working with Carly: wildraven.carlyallred.com Find us on Instagram: @blackandwhiteandgold @wildravenbreathwork @greatsexforgoodguys This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 4m

  5. May 14

    Episode 72 - Differentiation and Boundaries vs Manipulation

    In this episode, we explore the vital concepts of differentiation and boundaries in relationships, even getting into the nitty-gritty of what healthy boundaries do and don’t look like. We discuss how maintaining a healthy sense of self, effective boundary setting, and understanding different relationship dynamics can foster healthier, more collaborative connections across all types of relationships. Because you know you want better connections. Links to resources mentioned: wildraven.carlyallred.com Find us on Instagram at @blackandwhiteandgold @wildravenbreathwork @greatsexforgoodguys This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 7m

  6. May 7

    Episode 71 - Are Men the Problem? Part 2 of 2

    Let’s talk about the CNN article, Gisele Pelicot, and Man v Bear all in one two-part convo. Oh, and we’ll wrap in what the regular human person can do about any of it.Sound good? Yeah…it’s rough, but it’s necessary. If we want a different reality, we’re gonna have to be part of the solution. Let’s go! Our Instagram handles: @blackandwhiteandgold | @wildravenbreathwork | @greatsexforgoodguys Accounts we recommend you follow: instagram.com/professor_neil ( Professor Neil ) instagram.com/thespeechprof ( Professor Chesko ) instagram.com/pinkpillrx ( PinkpillRx ) instagram.com/evolutionarymen instagram.com/heybrotherjohnny instagram.com/realjonjacobs ( Jonathan Jacobs ) instagram.com/streetlighteyesdontdie ( Andrew Bailey ) instagram.com/mens.relationship.therapist ( Jeremy Mohler ) instagram.com/jimmy_on_relationships instagram.com/marriageishappening This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

    54 min

  7. Apr 30

    Episode 70 - Are Men the Problem? Part 1 of 2

    Let’s talk about the CNN article, Gisele Pelicot, and Man v Bear all in one two-part convo. Oh, and we’ll wrap in what the regular human person can do about any of it. Sound good? Yeah…it’s rough, but it’s necessary. If we want a different reality, we’re gonna have to be part of the solution. Let’s go! Our Instagram handles: @blackandwhiteandgold | @wildravenbreathwork | @greatsexforgoodguys Accounts we recommend you follow: instagram.com/professor_neil ( Professor Neil ) instagram.com/thespeechprof ( Professor Chesko ) instagram.com/pinkpillrx ( PinkpillRx ) instagram.com/evolutionarymen instagram.com/heybrotherjohnny instagram.com/realjonjacobs ( Jonathan Jacobs ) instagram.com/streetlighteyesdontdie ( Andrew Bailey ) instagram.com/mens.relationship.therapist ( Jeremy Mohler ) instagram.com/jimmy_on_relationships instagram.com/marriageishappening This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thanks for reading! This post is public so feel free to share it. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

    52 min
  8. Episode 69 - Are you feeding the shame, or feeding the relationship?

    Apr 23

    Episode 69 - Are you feeding the shame, or feeding the relationship?

    This episode explores the deep-rooted stories and identities that influence our behavior, relationships, and self-perception. Carly and Rob discuss how loyalty to old stories can hinder growth and how to consciously shift these narratives for a more authentic life. Key topics: * Loyalty to old stories and identities * Shadow work and shadow questions * Family, religious, and cultural conditioning * How stories influence behavior and relationships * Steps to shift from old scripts to authentic self Join us on Instagram: @blackandwhiteandgold | @greatsexforgoodguys | @wildravenbreathwork This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

    55 min
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About

Deep conversations are a whole love language, and we're going there! Talking about many different topics, from the mundane to the taboo--we'll make it complicated, we'll hopefully create a little empathy and decrease judgment of others along the way. blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    Carly and Rob Allred
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    77
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Carly Allred
  • Show Website
    Black and White and Gold

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