Reclaiming Me: Heal Your Childhood Attachment Wounds, People Pleasing, and Complex PTSD for Women

Cindy Payne
  • 5.0 (10)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism? This trauma-informed podcast helps women with complex PTSD heal the lasting impact of childhood attachment wounds from parents and caregivers so you can finally release survival patterns, rebuild self-trust, and create relationships rooted in authenticity, confidence, and emotional safety. Listen each week to learn how to: • Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout. • Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small. • Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth. **Ready to begin your healing? Start with the rebrand episode of Reclaiming Me: E66: Why You Can’t Heal Your Attachment Style Without Trauma Work (The Truth Behind the Rebrand of Reclaiming Me). ** I'm your host, Cindy Payne—a licensed professional counselor, certified yoga teacher, and C-PTSD survivor—offers a new episode each Monday, and a Wednesday Midweek Reframe teaching a practical skill or concept, so you can reduce the impact of C-PTSD symptoms and improve relationships. Work With Me: Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com Connect With Me: Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast explores the real, human side of growth — from navigating anxiety, imposter syndrome, and codependency to rediscovering presence, confidence, and authenticity. Through honest conversations about vulnerability, leadership, and letting go, we dive into the balance between purpose and rest, mindfulness and action, boundaries and connection. Together, we unpack the layers of trauma, stress, and exhaustion that keep us from fulfillment, and explore how healing begins when we choose awareness, compassion, and alignment over overwhelm.

  1. 3d ago

    E150: One Tool, Three Patterns: The Anchor Practice for Dissociation, Certainty-Seeking & Comparison

    Monday's episode named three patterns a lot of listeners recognized in themselves. Today: one tool that works for all three. Underneath drifting away, needing proof, and comparing your present to your past is the same root cause — your nervous system trying to protect you using rules from the past. This short follow-up episode gives you a single, simple practice — the Anchor Practice — built to interrupt all three patterns in the actual moment they show up. A step-by-step, three-part practice you can use anywhere: Choose your anchors ahead of time — one physical, one visual, one auditory sensory detail, selected while calmName the moment without judgment — "This is an old alarm, not a current danger"Touch one anchor — a few seconds of contact with the present is enough to signal safety to your nervous system Choose your three anchors right now, before you need them — write them down somewhere you'll actually see them. If the practice helps this week, send Cindy a note about what's true for you right now; your experience might become a future episode. Episode Info Runtime: ~10–15 minutesFormat: Midweek reframe / companion practice episodeCompanion to: Week 1 full-length episode ("You're Not Broken, You're Time-Traveling") Connect with Cindy: Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com Instagram: @cindypaynerooted email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast supports women healing trauma, attachment wounds, codependency, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, and rebuilding self-worth, self-trust, boundaries, and confidence through trauma-informed guidance. Through honest, grounded conversations, it explores the real human experience of growth and leadership, the tension between purpose and rest, boundaries and connection, and how choosing awareness and compassion creates a more aligned and authentic life.

  2. 5d ago

    E149: You're Not Broken, You're Time-Traveling: A Listener Q&A on Presence, Certainty & Comparison

    Do you ever catch yourself drifting out of a moment you actually wanted to be present for? Or find yourself needing proof that a new relationship is "safe" before you can relax into it? Or notice you're comparing the wonderful people in your life now to the people who hurt you as a kid — even though you know it isn't fair to them? This episode answers a real listener's three questions — and if any of them sound familiar, you're not alone, and you're not broken. In this episode, Cindy unpacks why dissociation is actually an old survival skill still running on autopilot, why needing certainty in a new relationship is a nervous system asking an outdated question, and why comparing today's safe people to yesterday's unsafe ones is your brain doing exactly what it was built to do — just with outdated data. Drawing on the work of Peter Levine, Bessel van der Kolk, Pete Walker, Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, and Jeffrey Young, Cindy translates the clinical research into real, usable practices. Walk away with three concrete tools you can start using today: The Anchor List — pre-selected sensory details that pull you back into the present the moment you notice you've driftedThe Two-Minute Rule — a way to tell whether an urge for reassurance is actually asking for regulationThe Evidence File — a method for retraining your brain's outdated "danger filter" with specific, concrete proof of who's actually safe now Pick just one of the three practices this week and try it once — not perfectly, just once. Have a question you've never said out loud? Send it in; it's in the show notes email, and it might become the subject of a future episode. Then join Cindy this Wednesday for a follow-up practice episode, and next Monday for a deep dive into the ACE study and the resilience score that goes with it. Episode Info Runtime: ~30 minutesFormat: Listener Q&A / full-length episodeKey frameworks referenced: Peter Levine (polyvagal/freeze response), Bessel van der Kolk (body-based trauma healing), Pete Walker (emotional flashbacks, CPTSD), Amir Levine & Rachel Heller (attachment theory), Jeffrey Young (schema therapy) Connect with Cindy: Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com Instagram: @cindypaynerooted email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast supports women healing trauma, attachment wounds, codependency, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, and rebuilding self-worth, self-trust, boundaries, and confidence through trauma-informed guidance. Through honest, grounded conversations, it explores the real human experience of growth and leadership, the tension between purpose and rest, boundaries and connection, and how choosing awareness and compassion creates a more aligned and authentic life.

  3. Sep 16

    E148: Who Am I Without This Role? A Quick Identity-Rebuilding Practice

    Still feeling like you lost a piece of yourself along with the role? Let’s find what’s still there. We go deeper into Monday’s reframe, “this role ending doesn’t erase who I’ve become,” with three specific ways to practice it and a short grounding exercise. You’ll leave with the beginning of your own “underneath the role” list, a few grounded reminders of who you are, no matter what’s shifting around you. If today’s episode resonated, please take a moment to rate and review wherever you listen. All the ways to reach me are in the show notes. I would love to hear from you. Connect with Cindy: Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com Instagram: @cindypaynerooted email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast supports women healing trauma, attachment wounds, codependency, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, and rebuilding self-worth, self-trust, boundaries, and confidence through trauma-informed guidance. Through honest, grounded conversations, it explores the real human experience of growth and leadership, the tension between purpose and rest, boundaries and connection, and how choosing awareness and compassion creates a more aligned and authentic life.

  4. Sep 14

    E147: Rebuilding Your Identity After a Role Ends: A CPTSD Survivor’s Guide

    Have you ever felt like you lost yourself the moment a role in your life changed, even a role ending that was healthy, expected, or something you wanted? This episode is about why that disorientation makes complete sense. We explore how identity and role get fused early on for a lot of trauma survivors, and how that fusion shows up in career changes, empty nests, caregiving endings, and shifting friendships. This episode includes personal reflection on standing in a college dorm parking lot and not knowing, for about thirty seconds, who I was. By the end of this episode you’ll have a new reframe, “This role ending doesn’t erase who I’ve become,” and a concrete practice for finding steadier ground underneath a shifting role. If today’s episode resonated, please take a moment to rate and review wherever you listen. All the ways to reach me are in the show notes. I would love to hear from you. Connect with Cindy: Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com Instagram: @cindypaynerooted email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast supports women healing trauma, attachment wounds, codependency, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, and rebuilding self-worth, self-trust, boundaries, and confidence through trauma-informed guidance. Through honest, grounded conversations, it explores the real human experience of growth and leadership, the tension between purpose and rest, boundaries and connection, and how choosing awareness and compassion creates a more aligned and authentic life.

  5. Sep 9

    E146: How to Stop Over-Apologizing This Week: A Fawn Response Reframe

    Caught yourself apologizing again today? Let’s practice something different. We go deeper into Monday’s reframe, “I can hold space for myself first,” with three specific ways to practice it and a short body-based grounding exercise. You’ll leave with a tool you can use the moment you feel the urge to over-apologize rising. If today’s episode resonated, please take a moment to rate and review wherever you listen. All the ways to reach me are in the show notes. I would love to hear from you. Connect with Cindy: Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com Instagram: @cindypaynerooted email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast supports women healing trauma, attachment wounds, codependency, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, and rebuilding self-worth, self-trust, boundaries, and confidence through trauma-informed guidance. Through honest, grounded conversations, it explores the real human experience of growth and leadership, the tension between purpose and rest, boundaries and connection, and how choosing awareness and compassion creates a more aligned and authentic life.

  6. Sep 7

    E145: The Fawn Response Revisited: Why You Over-Apologize and How to Stop

    Have you ever caught yourself apologizing for something that genuinely did not need an apology? Sorry for asking a question. Sorry for having a preference. In this episode we’re taking another look at fawning, one of the lesser-known trauma responses, and why it shows up everywhere from work to romantic relationships. We reframe fawning as an intelligent survival adaptation, not weakness, and walk through where it comes from and how it quietly runs in the background of adult relationships. By the end of this episode you’ll have a new reframe, “I can hold space for myself first,” and a concrete practice for pausing before you smooth something over that didn’t need smoothing. If today’s episode resonated, please take a moment to rate and review wherever you listen. All the ways to reach me are in the show notes. I would love to hear from you. Connect with Cindy: Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com Instagram: @cindypaynerooted email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast supports women healing trauma, attachment wounds, codependency, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, and rebuilding self-worth, self-trust, boundaries, and confidence through trauma-informed guidance. Through honest, grounded conversations, it explores the real human experience of growth and leadership, the tension between purpose and rest, boundaries and connection, and how choosing awareness and compassion creates a more aligned and authentic life.

  7. Sep 2

    E144: How to Stop Overthinking Every Decision: A CPTSD Reframe Practice

    Still replaying a decision from earlier this week? This midweek reframe gives you something concrete to actually use before your next one. We go deeper into Monday’s reframe, “I trust myself to learn as I go,” with three specific ways to practice it in real life and a short grounding exercise to pair with it. By the end of this ten minutes you’ll have a tool you can use today, the next time a decision starts to spiral. If today’s episode resonated, please take a moment to rate and review wherever you listen. All the ways to reach me are in the show notes. I would love to hear from you. Connect with Cindy: Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com Instagram: @cindypaynerooted email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast supports women healing trauma, attachment wounds, codependency, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, and rebuilding self-worth, self-trust, boundaries, and confidence through trauma-informed guidance. Through honest, grounded conversations, it explores the real human experience of growth and leadership, the tension between purpose and rest, boundaries and connection, and how choosing awareness and compassion creates a more aligned and authentic life.

  8. Aug 31

    E143: Why CPTSD Makes Decision-Making So Hard (And How to Trust Yourself Again)

    Do you research every decision into the ground, ask five people for their opinion before trusting your own, or feel real physical anxiety when there’s no clear right answer? In this episode we’re naming a pattern a lot of us with complex trauma histories carry, and it has almost nothing to do with being “an overthinker” by nature. We trace decision paralysis back to its actual root, childhood conditioning that taught the nervous system mistakes were dangerous, not just inconvenient. This episode includes personal reflection on dropping two of my three kids off at college for the first time, and the flood of second-guessing that showed up in me that had nothing to do with them directly. By the end of this episode you’ll have a new reframe, “I trust myself to learn as I go,” and a concrete tool, the 70% rule, for acting without waiting for certainty that was never coming. If today’s episode resonated, please take a moment to rate and review wherever you listen. It genuinely helps more people find this content. All the ways to reach me are in the show notes. I would love to hear from you. Connect with Cindy: Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com Instagram: @cindypaynerooted email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast supports women healing trauma, attachment wounds, codependency, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, and rebuilding self-worth, self-trust, boundaries, and confidence through trauma-informed guidance. Through honest, grounded conversations, it explores the real human experience of growth and leadership, the tension between purpose and rest, boundaries and connection, and how choosing awareness and compassion creates a more aligned and authentic life.

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About

Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism? This trauma-informed podcast helps women with complex PTSD heal the lasting impact of childhood attachment wounds from parents and caregivers so you can finally release survival patterns, rebuild self-trust, and create relationships rooted in authenticity, confidence, and emotional safety. Listen each week to learn how to: • Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout. • Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small. • Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth. **Ready to begin your healing? Start with the rebrand episode of Reclaiming Me: E66: Why You Can’t Heal Your Attachment Style Without Trauma Work (The Truth Behind the Rebrand of Reclaiming Me). ** I'm your host, Cindy Payne—a licensed professional counselor, certified yoga teacher, and C-PTSD survivor—offers a new episode each Monday, and a Wednesday Midweek Reframe teaching a practical skill or concept, so you can reduce the impact of C-PTSD symptoms and improve relationships. Work With Me: Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com Connect With Me: Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com This podcast explores the real, human side of growth — from navigating anxiety, imposter syndrome, and codependency to rediscovering presence, confidence, and authenticity. Through honest conversations about vulnerability, leadership, and letting go, we dive into the balance between purpose and rest, mindfulness and action, boundaries and connection. Together, we unpack the layers of trauma, stress, and exhaustion that keep us from fulfillment, and explore how healing begins when we choose awareness, compassion, and alignment over overwhelm.

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