Inside the Pickle Jar: Connecting with the Spectrum

Tonya Weaver
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to ‘Inside the Pickle Jar,’ the only podcast where being in a pickle is a good thing! It’s your go-to audio feast for all things neurodivergent. We’re like the crunchy dill to your sandwich, adding flavor to the way you see the world. Each episode, we’ll dive headfirst into the kaleidoscope of neurodivergent life. Are you neurodivergent, or just neurocurious? A partner in crime to someone who marches to the beat of their own drum? Or maybe you’re a boss trying to decode the enigma of inclusive leadership? Buckle up, because this podcast is the Rosetta Stone for cracking the code of neurodiversity. Join us for expert chit-chats, heartwarming tales, and pro tips that are more useful than a Swiss Army knife. ‘Inside the Pickle Jar’ is here to jazz up your journey to stronger connections, one episode at a time. So, tune in and turn up the volume while we transform the way you perceive neurodiversity and unlock the potential in every unique mind.

  1. 16h ago

    Meet Rosie - The Stress Monster (and why you need rest)

    Meet Rosie. She is big, fluffy, lavender, and she has been in your nervous system your entire life. Rosie is the Stress Monster and she represents something that I think is one of the least understood and most exhausting aspects of the neurodivergent experience. Not stress in the way most people mean it. Not overwhelm from a difficult circumstance. The state of a nervous system that is running at a higher baseline level of activation than most people around you...all day, every day, without anyone being able to see it. She is the reason ordinary days feel extraordinary. She is the reason you come home from a completely normal day and have nothing left. She is the reason rest is not optional and quiet is not dramatic and alone time is not antisocial. And she has been with you the whole time. In this episode: Meet Rosie, the Stress Monster - the third character in the Inside the Pickle Jar neighborhoodWhat nervous system dysregulation actually means and what is happening physiologicallyWhy the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system matter for neurodivergent people specificallyWhat a day with Rosie in it actually looks like from the moment you wake up to the moment you collapseThe mask Rosie wears and why her cost is invisible even to the people closest to youWhat actually helps — reducing activation and building in recovery time that your nervous system actually needs FREE RESOURCE If there is someone in your life who cannot understand why you seem overwhelmed when nothing hard is happening, I made something that might help start that conversation. Four Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain A free guide that does the explaining for you. https://www.insidethepicklejar.com ROSIE'S STICKER Rosie has a sticker in the Inside the Pickle Jar shop. She is big and fuzzy and purple and she belongs on whatever surface you look at most often. Start your collection at https://shop.insidethepicklejar.com MISSED PREVIOUS EPISODES? Episode 6: Meet Emily — The Time Blindness Goblin https://www.buzzsprout.com/2378499/episodes/19588342 Episode 7: Meet Lily — The Executive Function Gremlin https://www.buzzsprout.com/2378499/episodes/19621364 Emily explains why you are always late. Lily explains why you cannot start. Rosie explains why you are exhausted before anything has even happened yet. MEET THE REST OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD The Inside the Pickle Jar neighborhood has six characters, each one representing a real part of the neurodivergent experience: Emily - The Time Blindness GoblinLily - The Executive Function GremlinRosie - The Stress MonsterMillie - The Hyperfocus DragonEleanor - The Focus SpriteLittle T - The Inner Child ArchivistEach character has their own episode. Subscribe so you do not miss them. CONNECT WITH TONYA 🥒 Grab something from the shop: https://shop.insidethepicklejar.com  📬 Get "4 Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain" (free): https://www.insidethepicklejar.com  💌 Join the Pen Pal Club: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com/the-jar/  🕸️ Website: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com & https://www.risingtidecoaching.org  🚇 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@insidethepicklejar_   📸 Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/tonya_weaver_coach  🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/tonyaweaver606  💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tmweaver IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear that their exhaustion is real and it has a name. Reviews help other neurodivergent adults find the jar. Be gentle with yourself, pickle friend. I'll see you next time inside the jar. #InsideThePickleJar #Neurodivergent #ADHD #Autism #AuDHD #NervousSystem #StressMonster #NDCommunity #PickleFriends #NeurodivergentLife #SensoryProcessing #NervousSystemRegulation #LateDiagnosis Support the show

    Meet Rosie - The Stress Monster (and why you need rest)

  2. Aug 12

    You’re Not Lazy: Meet Lily - The Executive Function Gremlin

    Meet Lily. She is small, pink, and absolutely scrambling your start button right now. Lily is the Executive Function Gremlin, and she represents one of the most misunderstood and most unfairly judged experiences in the neurodivergent world. The gap between knowing what you need to do and actually being able to start it. If you have ever been called lazy or called yourself lazy because you could not begin a task that you genuinely wanted to do, this episode is going to change the story you have been telling yourself. It was never laziness. It was Lily. In this episode: Meet Lily, the Executive Function Gremlin, the second character in the Inside the Pickle Jar neighborhoodWhat executive function actually is and why it is often called the brain's CEOWhy starting is the hardest part and why the difficulty has nothing to do with how much you careThe inconsistency that makes neurodivergent people look like they are selective with their effort and what is actually happening neurologicallyThe guilt that lives in the gap between knowing and startingWhat actually helps - strategies that work with Lily rather than against her FREE RESOURCE If someone in your life has ever called what Lily does laziness, and you have been trying to explain that it is not, I made something that might help start that conversation. Four Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain A free guide that does the explaining for you. https://www.insidethepicklejar.com LILY'S STICKER Lily has a sticker in the Inside the Pickle Jar shop. She is small and pink and she is waiting for your water bottle, your laptop, or your journal. Start your collection at https://shop.insidethepicklejar.com MEET THE REST OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD The Inside the Pickle Jar neighborhood has six characters, each one representing a real part of the neurodivergent experience: Emily - The Time Blindness GoblinLily - The Executive Function GremlinRosie - The Stress MonsterMillie - The Hyperfocus DragonEleanor - The Focus SpriteLittle T - The Inner Child ArchivistEach character has their own episode. Subscribe so you do not miss them. CONNECT WITH TONYA 🥒 Grab something from the shop: https://shop.insidethepicklejar.com  📬 Get "4 Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain" (free): https://www.insidethepicklejar.com  💌 Join the Pen Pal Club: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com/the-jar/  🕸️ Website: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com & https://www.risingtidecoaching.org  🚇 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyaWeaverCoach  📸 Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/tonya_weaver_coach  🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/tonyaweaver606  💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tmweaver IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who has ever been called lazy when they were anything but. Reviews help other neurodivergent adults find the jar. Be gentle with yourself, pickle friend. I'll see you next time inside the jar. Support the show

    You’re Not Lazy: Meet Lily - The Executive Function Gremlin

  3. Aug 5

    Meet Emily - The Time Blindness Goblin (and Why It's Not Your Fault You're Late)

    Meet Emily. She is a small mint green goblin with a broken hourglass, and she has been living in your brain probably since childhood - stretching time, shrinking it, making transitions arrive without warning, and throwing emotional glitter over the whole experience. If you have ever been told that you are late because you do not care, or that you would be on time if you just tried harder, this episode is going to change the way you understand yourself. Time blindness is not a character flaw. It is not laziness. It is not disrespect. It is a brain that experiences time in a fundamentally different way and today we are giving that experience a name, a face, and a trading card. In this episode: Meet Emily, the Time Blindness Goblin: the first character in the Inside the Pickle Jar neighborhoodWhat time blindness actually is and what is happening neurologicallyWhy the now/not-now framework explains so much about how your brain experiences timeWhat it looks like in real daily life and why the apology you give when you are late is genuine even when nobody believes itThe shame that compounds the original problem and why it does not helpWhat actually helps...strategies that work with your brain rather than against it FREE RESOURCE If you are struggling to explain your experience to the people in your life, I made something for you. Four Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain A free guide that does the explaining for you. https://www.insidethepicklejar.com EMILY'S TRADING CARD Emily is the first character in the Inside the Pickle Jar trading card series. She is custom designed, hand crafted, and now available in the shop. Start collecting the originals. https://shop.insidethepicklejar.com MEET THE REST OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD Emily is just the beginning. The Inside the Pickle Jar neighborhood has six characters, each one representing a real part of the neurodivergent experience: Emily - The Time Blindness GoblinLily - The Executive Function GremlinRosie - The Stress MonsterMillie - The Hyperfocus DragonEleanor - The Focus SpriteLittle T - The Inner Child Archivist (seen in the five-part series on masking)Each character has their own episode coming up. Subscribe so you do not miss them. CONNECT WITH TONYA 🥒 Grab something from the shop: https://shop.insidethepicklejar.com  📬 Get "4 Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain" (free): https://www.insidethepicklejar.com  💌 Join the Pen Pal Club: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com/the-jar/  🕸️ Website: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com & https://www.risingtidecoaching.org  🚇 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyaWeaverCoach  📸 Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/tonya_weaver_coach  🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/tonyaweaver606  💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tmweaver IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who has ever been told they do not care because they are always late. Reviews help other neurodivergent adults find the jar. Be gentle with yourself, pickle friend. I'll see you next time inside the jar. Support the show

    Meet Emily - The Time Blindness Goblin (and Why It's Not Your Fault You're Late)

  4. Jul 29

    How to Start Unmasking as a Neurodivergent Adult

    ***100th Episode*** You don't have to rip the mask off overnight. Unmasking isn't an event. It's a direction. A slow, gentle turn toward yourself that starts somewhere much smaller than most people expect. In this episode we talk about what actually comes next after you recognize you've been masking...the first steps, how to find safe spaces to practice, what unmasking looks like in real life, and what to do when it doesn't go the way you hoped. In this episode: Why unmasking feels terrifying and why that fear makes complete senseWhy you don't have to do it everywhere at onceHow to identify where it's safe to put the mask downWhat small, honest moments of unmasking actually look likeWhat to do when it goes wrong without using it as proof to stopComing back to yourself, one data point at a timeFREE RESOURCE: 4 Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain https://www.insidethepicklejar.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE: https://youtu.be/Lw9PvmuDnbU THIS EPISODE IS PART OF A SERIES: Episode 1 — What Neurodivergent Masking Really Looks Like: https://youtu.be/1kATEAoYFxY Episode 2 — The Hidden Cost of Masking: https://youtu.be/q8YsgAKOY00 Episode 3 — Why Late-Diagnosed ND Adults Feel They've Been Acting Their Whole Life: https://youtu.be/xjqnCWYhQ9g Episode 4 — The Social Rules Nobody Teaches You: https://youtu.be/m3yMIRMmZWo CONNECT: 🥒 Grab something from the shop: https://shop.insidethepicklejar.com  📬 Get "4 Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain" (free): https://www.insidethepicklejar.com  💌 Join the Pen Pal Club: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com/the-jar/  🕸️ Website: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com & https://www.risingtidecoaching.org  🚇 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyaWeaverCoach  📸 Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/tonya_weaver_coach  🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/tonyaweaver606  💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tmweaver Be gentle with yourself, pickle friend. I'll see you next time inside the jar. Support the show

    How to Start Unmasking as a Neurodivergent Adult

  5. Jul 22

    The Social Rules Neurodivergent People Are Expected to Know

    Nobody handed you the rulebook. But everyone expected you to know it. Eye contact. Small talk. When to speak, when to stay quiet, how close to stand, when a question is rhetorical. Most people absorbed these rules without ever being taught them. Some of us had to study them like a foreign language. In this video we talk about the unspoken social rules that neurodivergent people are expected to just know — and why trying to learn them is one of the biggest reasons masking develops in the first place. In this video: -The rulebook nobody hands you and why that matters -Why social interactions feel like a test you never studied for -How masking develops directly from trying to survive these rules -What this costs in the relationships that matter most to you -Why you were never failing the test FREE GUIDE: 4 Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain https://www.insidethepicklejar.com WATCH THE FULL MASKING SERIES: Video 1 - What Neurodivergent Masking Really Looks Like: https://youtu.be/1kATEAoYFxY Video 2 - The Hidden Cost of Masking: https://youtu.be/q8YsgAKOY00 Video 3 - Why Late-Diagnosed ND Adults Feel They've Been Acting Their Whole Life: https://youtu.be/xjqnCWYhQ9g Video 4 - https://youtu.be/y4mhTPNKCcw Connect with Me: 🥒 Grab something from the shop: https://shop.insidethepicklejar.com  📬 Get "4 Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain" (free): https://www.insidethepicklejar.com  💌 Join the Pen Pal Club: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com/the-jar/  🕸️ Website: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com & https://www.risingtidecoaching.org  🚇 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyaWeaverCoach  📸 Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/tonya_weaver_coach  🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/tonyaweaver606  💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tmweaver Be gentle with yourself, pickle friend. I'll see you next time inside the jar. 💚 Enjoyed the episode? Help us grow by leaving a review on your favorite podcast app! Your support helps us reach more listeners in the neurodivergent community. Follow Inside the Pickle Jar for more stories, advice, and resources tailored for the neurodivergent journey. #Neurodivergent #UnspokenRules #Masking #ADHD #Autism #LateIagnosis #NeurodivergentAdults #MaskingTax #NDCommunity #InsideThePickleJar #SocialRules #NeurodivergentIdentity #PickleFriends Support the show

    The Social Rules Neurodivergent People Are Expected to Know

  6. Jul 15

    Why Late-Diagnosed Neurodivergent Adults Feel They've Been Acting Their Whole Life

    If you were diagnosed neurodivergent later in life, you might look back and realize you weren't coping as well as everyone thought. You weren't coping at all. You were performing. In this episode we talk about the moment of recognition, the one where the whole story of your life gets a new narrator. The relief. The grief. The disorienting question of who you actually are underneath decades of masking. And why the answer takes longer to find than anyone tells you. If you've ever thought "that's me, that has always been me" and didn't know what to do with that feeling, this one is for you. In this episode: -The moment everything in your life gets recontextualized -Why relief and grief arrive together after a late diagnosis -What it means to realize how much of your life has been performance -The question "who am I without the mask?" and how to start answering it -Why self-compassion matters more than self-criticism at this stage FREE RESOURCE If you're recently diagnosed and struggling to find the words to explain what you're going through to the people you love, I made something for exactly that moment. Four Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain A free guide that does the explaining for you. https://www.insidethepicklejar.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Prefer to watch? Find the full video here: https://youtu.be/xjqnCWYhQ9g Episode 1: What Neurodivergent Masking Really Looks Like https://youtu.be/1kATEAoYFxY Episode 2: The Hidden Cost of Masking as a Neurodivergent Adult https://youtu.be/q8YsgAKOY00 Connect with Me: 🥒 Grab something from the shop: https://shop.insidethepicklejar.com  📬 Get "4 Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain" (free): https://www.insidethepicklejar.com  💌 Join the Pen Pal Club: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com/the-jar/  🕸️ Website: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com & https://www.risingtidecoaching.org  🚇 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyaWeaverCoach  📸 Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/tonya_weaver_coach  🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/tonyaweaver606  💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tmweaver Be gentle with yourself, pickle friend. I'll see you next time inside the jar. 💚 Enjoyed the episode? Help us grow by leaving a review on your favorite podcast app! Your support helps us reach more listeners in the neurodivergent community. Follow Inside the Pickle Jar for more stories, advice, and resources tailored for the neurodivergent journey. IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who is navigating a late diagnosis or just beginning to understand their own masking. Reviews help other neurodivergent adults find the jar. Start at Episode 1 if you're new here. Each episode builds on the last. Be gentle with yourself, pickle friend. I'll see you next time inside the jar. Support the show

    Why Late-Diagnosed Neurodivergent Adults Feel They've Been Acting Their Whole Life

  7. Jul 8

    The Hidden Cost of Masking as a Neurodivergent Adult

    What if the version of you that everyone praises for coping is actually the version that's burning you out? In this episode we go deeper into neurodivergent masking, moving past what it is and into what it actually costs. The exhaustion that doesn't make sense given what you did today. The performance of "fine" when you're anything but. The slow drift away from knowing who you actually are underneath all of it. If you've ever come home from a completely ordinary day and had absolutely nothing left, this one is for you. In this episode: Why "fine" is a performance word and what it's actually hidingWhat the cost of masking really looks like day to dayThe masking tax, and why it doesn't reset overnightThe disconnection that happens when you mask for long enoughWhy none of this is your fault FREE RESOURCE If you're struggling to find the words to explain your experience to the people you love, I made something for you. Four Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain A free guide that does the explaining for you. https://www.insidethepicklejar.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Prefer to watch? Find the full video here: [INSERT YOUTUBE LINK] Connect with Me: 🥒 Grab something from the shop: https://shop.insidethepicklejar.com  📬 Get "4 Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain" (free): https://www.insidethepicklejar.com  💌 Join the Pen Pal Club: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com/the-jar/  🕸️ Website: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com & https://www.risingtidecoaching.org  🚇 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyaWeaverCoach  📸 Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/tonya_weaver_coach  🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/tonyaweaver606  💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tmweaver Be gentle with yourself, pickle friend. I'll see you next time inside the jar. 💚 Enjoyed the episode? Help us grow by leaving a review on your favorite podcast app! Your support helps us reach more listeners in the neurodivergent community. Follow Inside the Pickle Jar for more stories, advice, and resources tailored for the neurodivergent journey. IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. Reviews help other neurodivergent adults find the jar. PREVIOUS EPISODE Episode 1: What Neurodivergent Masking Really Looks Like https://youtu.be/1kATEAoYFxY Start here if you haven't listened yet. It lays the foundation for everything we cover in this episode. Be gentle with yourself, pickle friend. I'll see you next time inside the jar. Support the show

    The Hidden Cost of Masking as a Neurodivergent Adult

  8. Jul 1

    What Neurodivergent Masking Really Looks Like

    FREE: The Four Things I Want My Friends to Know ~~~~ https://www.insidethepicklejar.com ### Understanding Neurodivergent Masking: A Survival Strategy In today's world, many neurodivergent individuals often find themselves engaging in a behavior known as masking. This is the practice of hiding one's true self to fit into a neurotypical society, and it can leave one feeling exhausted and disconnected. By exploring the concept of masking, we can gain insight into the struggles faced by those who are neurodivergent. ### What is Masking? Masking, or camouflaging, is the process of suppressing natural neurodivergent behaviors to appear more neurotypical. It's not merely a choice but a survival strategy developed during childhood. Many children notice that their natural behaviors do not align with those of their peers. They learn to adapt, rehearsing conversations and suppressing certain behaviors to avoid negative feedback. This leads to a mask that feels so integrated into their identity that it becomes difficult to distinguish between their true self and the persona they've created. ### The Origins of Masking For most neurodivergent individuals, masking begins in childhood. In a classroom setting, neurodivergent children often struggle to understand unspoken rules of social interaction. They may be labeled as "too loud" or "too sensitive" for expressing themselves naturally. This feedback, whether explicit or implicit, prompts them to adapt by mirroring the behavior of their peers. Over time, this adaptation becomes automatic, leading to a deeply ingrained habit that can feel like the only way to interact with the world. ### The Cost of Masking Masking is more than just a habit; it can be exhausting. Neurodivergent adults often find themselves drained after a typical day. While others may see a normal workday, these individuals have been managing complex social interactions, processing sensory input, and performing a version of themselves that feels safe to show. This "masking tax" accumulates over time, resulting in profound fatigue and disconnection from their authentic selves. ### Recognizing and Understanding Masking The moment of recognition often comes with a diagnosis or hearing someone describe masking for the first time. This recognition can evoke relief, as individuals finally have language for their experiences. However, it can also bring grief for the years spent performing a version of themselves that was not true. Understanding that masking is not a flaw but a necessary adaptation can be liberating. ### Finding Authenticity Once individuals recognize their masking behaviors, they can start to make choices about when and where to mask. It’s not about removing the mask entirely but rather finding safe spaces where they can be themselves. This journey towards authenticity can lead to deeper connections and a greater sense of belonging in their personal and professional lives. ### Conclusion Neurodivergent masking is a complex survival strategy that many individuals have developed to navigate a world that often feels unwelcoming. By understanding this phenomenon, we can foster greater empathy and support for neurodivergent individuals, encouraging them to embrace their authentic selves. If you resonate with this experience, know that you're not alone, and there are communities and resources available to support your journey toward authenticity. Connect with Me: 🥒 Grab something from the shop: https://shop.insidethepicklejar.com  📬 Get "4 Things I Need the People in My Life to Know About My Brain" (free): https://www.insidethepicklejar.com  💌 Join the Pen Pal Club: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com/the-jar/  🕸️ Website: https://www.insidethepicklejar.com & https://www.risingtidecoaching.org  🚇 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyaWeaverCoach  📸 Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/tonya_weaver_coach  🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/tonyaweaver606  💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tmweaver Be gentle with yourself, pickle friend. I'll see you next time inside the jar. 💚 Enjoyed the episode? Help us grow by leaving a review on your favorite podcast app! Your support helps us reach more listeners in the neurodivergent community. Follow Inside the Pickle Jar for more stories, advice, and resources tailored for the neurodivergent journey. Support the show

    What Neurodivergent Masking Really Looks Like
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About

Welcome to ‘Inside the Pickle Jar,’ the only podcast where being in a pickle is a good thing! It’s your go-to audio feast for all things neurodivergent. We’re like the crunchy dill to your sandwich, adding flavor to the way you see the world. Each episode, we’ll dive headfirst into the kaleidoscope of neurodivergent life. Are you neurodivergent, or just neurocurious? A partner in crime to someone who marches to the beat of their own drum? Or maybe you’re a boss trying to decode the enigma of inclusive leadership? Buckle up, because this podcast is the Rosetta Stone for cracking the code of neurodiversity. Join us for expert chit-chats, heartwarming tales, and pro tips that are more useful than a Swiss Army knife. ‘Inside the Pickle Jar’ is here to jazz up your journey to stronger connections, one episode at a time. So, tune in and turn up the volume while we transform the way you perceive neurodiversity and unlock the potential in every unique mind.

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