Along with Mike Stewart, Karen Kwan was my best friend in high school and so, of all the events taking place reunion weekend, I was most looking forward to the pre-party she was throwing at her parents’ home in Saratoga … 24) In the weeks leading up to the reunion, it felt like Karen and I were back to passing notes, the way we would during and between classes in high school. Now, of course, because of living almost 400 miles away from each other, but thanks to technology, our note passing takes the form of near-constant text messaging. One issue we went back and forth over via text was what the exact wording should be on the sign instructing all guests to the “Retired Matadors” party to enter through the side gate (and not come up to the front door). As should be obvious to anyone who is remotely familiar with me, my suggestion was the instruction sign indicate the “Mat-a-door” guests should use (and if you are listening to the narrated version of this essay without, at least, reading along, you are really missing out). Over the past handful of years, it has been great to become reconnected with Karen, and without a doubt, what I was most looking forward to during reunion weekend was getting to spend time with her. Frankly, I was worried that I might just end up dominating her dance card! I also was really looking forward to Lily getting to spend time with her. Suffice it to say, Lily did come away from the weekend duly impressed with Karen. And at least one of Karen’s daughters was impressed by Lily, not only raving about how pretty she is, but asking her mom (Karen) if she was wondering how I “pulled such a baddie”! I don’t think I had heard this terminology before. Even if I had, I certainly don’t understand what “baddie” means in this context. Still, you can bet I will be trying it out in conversation! 25) After all the back and forth about what the entry instruction sign should say, I ended up being quite amused by the final wording: Enter Class of ‘86 MAT-A-DOOR ← (Pun credit – Phil) Lily very much wanted to get a photo of me posed with the sign (Karen had promised that people would want to include the sign in pictures, and therefore, the wording was important). While we were taking the photo, Karen’s mom opened the front door and yelled at me to go through the side gate! I re-introduced myself to her, telling Mrs. Kwan who I was. She paused, remembered, and said, “Oh, Phil!” and then added, “Go through the side gate!” 26) Karen’s mom was in peak form throughout the party. Always a great hostess, she can prove herself to be an even greater taskmaster, as she did on this occasion, constantly yelling at me to move somewhere other than where I was. If I was outside enjoying a lovely beverage, she would shout at me to take off my shoes and go inside to get food. If I was inside getting food, she was right there telling me to go outside and sit down. If I was sitting down, I was told to go crouch behind a little Buddha statue to pose for a picture with Lily. It was all great fun and I loved joking about it. I also easily burned off whatever calories I was taking in, such were the paces Mrs. Kwan was putting me through. At one point she found it important to tell Lily what a troublemaker I had always been. Though the example she gave to support her claim was one I would vehemently push back against, the underlying claim itself is not without merit. 27) The spread was wonderful. Everything was delicious. What’s more, given Lily’s dietary restrictions, it was fabulously healthy. Karen is touched by genius in many creative fields, cooking is one of them, and she just seems to be getting better all the time. Honestly, though, I sort of expected her to knock our socks off. What snuck up on all of us was Forrest Lee’s Black Sesame Basque Cheesecake, made from scratch. The Stew and I came to the reunion weekend expecting to win it. During a quiet aside, he and I had to admit that Forrest Lee was not only going to be stiff competition, he might actually have been out in front at that point and that was BEFORE we knew about the cheesecake. 28) I enjoyed much of my meal at what Karen and our classmate Julie Yen’s husbands dubbed “the spouses table”. And though Bill Bennett’s wife, Michele, did not sit with us, Lily did. It was really fun getting to spend time with Karen’s husband, Geoff, and Julie’s husband, Scott, and I was grateful for the opportunity as I knew they would not be attending the main event later that evening. All of a sudden, after everyone had eaten, mingled, and had dessert, it was time, apparently, to do a line dance for TikTok. I was surprised at how game everyone was. Not surprisingly the exception to this was The Stew and myself. We repaired to the corner of the yard to basically just look handsome, as many photos documented clearly. From our vantage point safely off camera, we observed the spectacle as it unfolded. One thing that blew us away was how unchanged our pal Ben Golub looks. His face, his movements - it was like we were glancing back in time! Sure, our vision might not be as precise as it was back then, but from our distance, Ben looked just like he did when we graduated high school! Everyone in the line acquitted themselves admirably. Quite rightly, Lily’s participation earned raves. Karen’s business partner, upon viewing the videos, said she would dance if she could dance like Lily, stating that Lily’s “got swagger”. All the spouses in attendance – Geoff, Scott, Michele and Lily - made very strong showings. At last (but certainly not least), it was time for the main event … 29) The Stew drove, I rode shotgun, and Lily climbed into the back of the giant SUV, not without help, however. Although I remembered how to get to the venue, The Blue Pheasant on Stevens Creek Boulevard, I really did not remember the place vividly at all. It’s a restaurant and bar, one of the most venerable spots (probably THE most venerable social spot left) in Cupertino. It’s located adjacent to the Blackberry Farm golf course, and operates colloquially as its “19th hole”. I was amused by the sign posted by the front door (in a frame no less), once de rigueur for such establishments, proclaiming, “We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to Anyone”. That unique use of capitalization was theirs, and the phrase was, indeed, in quotes. Beneath it was a small illustration of, I suppose, a blue pheasant with the following line beneath that: - The Blue Pheasant Who knew that The Blue Pheasant, its proprietors and its staff were the original authors of a disclaimer that would be seen at or in establishments all around the country, if not the world? Well done, guys! Our party was downstairs, in a private room. At the base of the stairs was another framed sign that amused me no end (say what you will about The Blue Pheasant, but they support local picture frame shops). It simply read: “Do Not Obstruct”. Although I do find this to be generally sound life advice, at least as a guideline, the purpose for this sign was clearly specific to the fact that the narrow staircase could prove to be quite the source of a bottleneck. Unfortunately, reading the sign requires one to stop on that very staircase, dramatically increasing the likelihood of said bottleneck. Isn’t it funny how often we humans, in thinking we are addressing a problem end up exacerbating that problem? It’s hilarious! Less hilarious was the status of the restrooms. I don’t want to be harsh. If the reunion proved nothing else, it certainly revealed that time does take its tolls, even on a group as fundamentally attractive as ours. Time has been far less kind to The Blue Pheasant, I must say. I have no idea how many years it had been since I had last stepped foot in the establishment, but it looked like it had been much longer since anyone had actually cleaned the men’s room. At some point someone had tended to a leaky sink, but the method of repair had been to wrap and knot a hand towel around the faulty pipe. 30) I had thought I might not drink all weekend. Yet, after a warm-up beer at Yoshi’s while getting ready, a beer at Karen’s upon arriving at the pre-party, two glasses of red wine while eating, and another beer to wash it all down, I decided upon arriving at the main event that I should go ahead and drink. After getting a (Hendrick’s) gin and tonic, I got to have the meaningful, in depth conversation with Chris Gregson that had been teased by our interaction on the tour that morning. Much of my early mingling occurred within just a handful of feet of the bar. Handy when it came time for The Stew to get me my 2nd gin and tonic of the night. I finally broke away from the area when I spotted my old neighbor from Columbus Avenue, Ted Mirch (as had been foreshadowed by the events of earlier in the day). He was a party crasher from Class of 1988, and I could not have been more delighted to see him. I have since learned that, apparently, all classes were invited to attend. 31) Shannon Engelbrecht and I were able to catch up. She and I have maintained a friendship through the years, getting together on occasion, and always having fascinating conversation when we did. She has been the picture of loveliness since we first met in, I believe, 7th grade and it always does my soul a world of good to see how she, seemingly, becomes ever more engaged and interested and amused by life. Lily has become quite taken by her as well. Good thing, too, because I know for a fact that as much as Shannon likes me, she likes Lily more! 32) I mentioned earlier that when speaking with Chris Gregson, I found myself wondering, “Why didn’t we ever hang out?” I imagine there are a lot of “Why didn’t we ever …” questions posed at reunions. I don’t really find myself regretting very much. There simply isn’t time for it, and I would never want to pull at even the loos
