Hard & Holy with Cassandra Speer

Cassandra Speer
  • 4.9 (27)
  • CHRISTIANITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Do you ever feel weary in your faith journey? Whether you've been wounded by others or wandered away with disillusionment, life gets hard when we walk the path alone. Welcome to the Hard & Holy podcast, sweet friend. I'm your host, Cassandra Speer. My mission is to have hard conversations on holy ground. I want to invite you to carry the hard and heavy while holding the hope of eternity. After co-authoring two books (Her True Worth: Breaking Free from a Culture of Selfies, Side Hustles, and People Pleasing to Embrace Your True Identity in Christ and There's Beauty in Your Brokenness), I'll now be using my seminary education to dive deep into the difficult trials we encounter as believers and help us faithfully wrestle with hard questions, doubt, depression, and confusion as a Christian. Through candid solo reflections and enlightening interviews, we'll be chatting about things like: - Mental Health, - Forgiveness and Access, - Mentorship / Discipleship, - Addiction/Abuse, and - Overcoming Generational Cycles My heart is to point you to hope, healing, and the mighty power of God at work within and through you. I'm Cass, and this is the "Hard & Holy" Podcast—a sacred space where we confront life's challenges with faith, curiosity, and courage. https://cassandraspeer.com/

  1. 11/07/2025

    27. Blessed Are those Who Mourn: Finding Comfort in Grief

    "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4, NIV In this episode of The Blessed Are series, Cass reflects on the expansive meaning of mourning in Jesus' Beatitudes. Grief, she reminds us, is not limited to death—it also includes the losses we experience when life shifts in ways we didn't plan: lost dreams, fractured relationships, changes in identity, or the shattering of safety and belonging. Drawing from Scripture, personal stories, and the scholarship of R. T. France, Cass explores how mourning is not weakness but holy honesty—an act of faith that invites God's nearness. She shares her own story of childhood dependence on a food pantry and a later season of relying on public healthcare, connecting these experiences to our collective grief as millions face food and medical insecurity. This episode invites listeners to see grief as both a meeting place with God and a catalyst for compassionate action. Takeaways: Mourning is broader than bereavement—it includes unmet dreams, identity shifts, and collective pain. True comfort comes from God's presence, not from quick fixes or avoidance of sorrow. The Beatitudes call believers to embody a countercultural compassion that values the overlooked and oppressed. Collective grief—like food insecurity and healthcare loss—is worthy of lament.  Practical steps to respond: donate food, call representatives, volunteer, and extend hospitality. Not so that others can see our good deeds, but so others can know that God sees them in their need. The episode ends with a prayer for those walking through grief.  Join Cass next time as she explores what it means to hunger and thirst for righteousness... Blessed are those who mourn, because we don't mourn alone. Together, we bear witness to a God who turns sorrow into solidarity and lament into love. Resources to Give and Receive Support MutualAidHub.org — local networks where neighbors support neighbors with food, supplies, bills FindHelp.org — search by zip code for free/reduced-cost food, housing, healthcare Feeding America – Find Food — locate nearby food banks and pantries Victory Family Church (Norman, OK) Resources Page — food, clothing, addiction, shelter, and care resources in central Oklahoma Tinker AFB  (For military, federal workers only)— (405)739-2747 Located at 6001 Arnold Tinker, Open Mondays and Friday 9am-2pm, Wednesday 9am-1pm

    19 min

  2. 10/22/2025

    26. Hope Is Disruptive: Aimee Byrd on Escaping a Defaced Church

    In this honest and vulnerable conversation, author Aimee Byrd talks about her powerful new book Saving Face: Finding Myself, God, and One Another Outside of a Defaced Church. Aimee shares her deeply personal journey of experiencing spiritual abuse within her denomination, the process of finding her voice again, and discovering hope in the underground places where Christ meets us in our brokenness. The conversation quickly deepens as she recounts her painful experiences of betrayal within the church and how those very wounds became a catalyst for her voice, her theology, and her mission to empower others. This is a raw and moving dialogue about: ●      The story behind the Saving Face cover and its layered symbolism ●      What it means to find hope "in the underground" when everything else feels lost ●      Why leaving toxic spiritual spaces can be both disruptive and holy Through honesty, courage, and hope, Aimee invites us to consider what true freedom in Christ looks like and how we can begin to see our own faces again. Resources ●      Saving Face: Finding Myself, God and One Another Outside of a Defaced Church [available where all books are sold] ●      Website: aimeebyrd.com ●      Substack: "Byrd In Your Box" ●      Threads @AimeeByrdLife   If you or someone you know is experiencing spiritual abuse, please know that help is available. Consider reaching out to a trauma-informed counselor or spiritual abuse recovery resources.

    40 min

  3. 10/16/2025

    25. Blessed Are the Poor in Spirit: Embracing Spiritual Bankruptcy

    In the opening episode of the Blessed Are the _______ series, Cass invites listeners into a guided walk through Jesus' words that turned the world upside down: the Beatitudes. Each week, we'll look at one verse at a time. Cass begins our journey with Matthew 5:3: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." This episode is for anyone who feels spiritually empty, weary, or unsure of what they have left to offer God. Cass unpacks what it means to be poor in spirit, not as a mark of failure but as the posture that makes room for divine favor. Through honest storytelling and gentle reflection, she shares how moments of spiritual bankruptcy can become places of holy encounter. You'll hear Cass reflect on seasons when she felt emptied out and how Jesus met her there with compassion and strength. Together, we'll rediscover the beauty of dependence and the freedom of knowing that the Kingdom of God belongs to those who come with nothing but their need. The episode closes with a prayer of blessing and an invitation to see your own neediness not as weakness, but as the space where God's love draws near. Takeaways: What it truly means to be "poor in spirit" How spiritual poverty opens us to God's presence Why the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to the willing, not the self-sufficient A prayer to help you rest in God's sufficiency Join Cass week by week as we unpack the Beatitudes line by line and explore what it means to live a blessed life in the way of Jesus. If this episode resonates with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might need the reminder that their emptiness is not the end of their story.

    13 min

  4. 06/13/2025

    24. Take What You Need: Soft Words, Strong Boundaries

    What if tending to your own needs is one of the holiest things you can do? In this deeply grounding episode of Hard & Holy, Cass sits down with Aundi Kolber: bestselling author, licensed professional counselor, and trauma-informed therapist—to talk about her newest release, Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days.  Together they unpack how trauma can disconnect us from our God-given needs, why an embodied faith doesn't bypass our emotions, and how compassionate boundaries create room for real connection.   Listen in to explore: How unaddressed trauma scrambles our internal "need detectors" and what healing can look like. Practical ways to practice self-compassion that overflow into loving others well. The surprising link between boundaries and belonging. Why healing is both present-tense care and gentle attention to the past. Aundi's go-to "soft words" for the days that feel anything but soft.   If you've ever felt guilty for having needs—or unsure how to name them—this conversation will feel like a warm, steady hand on your shoulder. Grab a cozy drink, press play, and let's take what we need… together. Connect with Aundi: Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aundikolber?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==  Visit her website: https://aundikolber.com/  Order Take What You Need : https://aundikolber.com/take-what-you-need/

    41 min

  5. 05/30/2025

    23. Can I Say That? The Taboo Topics We Don't Talk About in Church

    In this heartfelt and honest conversation, I'm joined by Brenna Blain—wife, mom, Contemporary Theologian, and author of the bestselling book Can I Say That? How Unsafe Questions Lead Us to the Real God. Together, we dive into the taboo topics the church often avoids: Doubt, Mental Health, Sexuality, and the Real God Who Meets Us There. Brenna shares her personal journey from black-and-white theology student to a voice for trauma-informed, biblically grounded compassion. She opens up about her experiences with mental illness, same-sex attraction, and the messy, beautiful tension of faith and lived experience. We talk about how the church can unintentionally wound those already hurting—and how scripture, when approached with care and honesty, can move from wounding to healing. If you've ever asked yourself: "Can I say that?" — this conversation will remind you: you're not alone, and God can handle your questions. We cover: Why asking hard questions isn't a threat to faith How to engage scripture with honesty and compassion Why trauma-informed theology matters How faith intersects with mental health and sexuality Experiencing God in the midst of personal struggle   Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussions of mental health, suicidal ideation, drug overdose, and trauma. Please listen with care. Connect with Brenna: Buy Can I Say That? → https://www.canisaythatbook.com  Partner with her speaking ministry → www.brennablain.com  Follow Brenna on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/bunonmyhead

    39 min

  6. 05/09/2025

    22. The Art of Leaving Well (Without Burning It All Down)

    In this powerful episode of Hard & Holy, Cassandra sits down with friend, prayer warrior, and fellow Denver Seminary student Cheryl Luke to talk about the holy tension of knowing when it's time to go. Whether it's stepping away from a church, job, ministry, or relationship, discerning when to leave is never easy but it can be holy. With over 45 years in ministry, Cheryl shares her personal journey of leaving a beloved church community after 30 years of faithful service. She unpacks the emotional complexity of that decision, the grief and clarity it brought, and how to leave well—with integrity, love, and the leading of the Holy Spirit. Cheryl Luke is a speaker, coach, podcast host, and seminary student pursuing her Master of Arts in Biblical and Theological Studies. She's the visionary behind The Mosaic Life, a nonprofit equipping leaders to live with intention and purpose. With decades of leadership experience, including her role as National Director for Cultural Communities with Celebrate Recovery, Cheryl is known for her ability to foster community, create space for healing, and empower people—especially people of color—through recovery and restoration. Together, Cassandra and Cheryl discuss: How to discern when God is calling you to leave a space that once felt like home The difference between leaving with bitterness and leaving with blessing Why obedience to the Holy Spirit sometimes looks like disappointing people How to care for relationships and community even in your leaving What Cheryl wishes more leaders understood about longevity and surrender A prayer for those standing at the edge of transition, longing for courage and clarity This episode is a companion for anyone wrestling with what's next and wondering if it's okay to let go. If this episode spoke to you, would you take a moment to leave a review? Your words help others find Hard & Holy and remind us that we're not walking through these hard and holy moments alone. Subscribe, share with a friend, and tag @cassandralspeer  Resources & Links: Learn more about Cheryl Luke and The Mosaic Life: themosaiclife.org Subscribe to Hard & Holy wherever you listen to podcasts Follow Cassandra on Instagram: @cassandralspeer Join the Hard & Holy Broadcast Channel for behind-the-scenes updates, bonus content, and giveaways

    37 min

  7. 05/01/2025

    20. Facing failure, naming your fear, and refusing to play small

    In this gripping episode of Hard & Holy, bestselling author and speaker Mary Marantz joins Cass for a vulnerable conversation about what it means to feel underestimated—by others, by life, and even by yourself. Mary is the first in her immediate family to go to college, a Yale Law School graduate, and the host of The Mary Marantz Show, where she shares powerful stories of grit, grace, and gospel truth. Drawing from her newest book, Underestimated: The Surprisingly Simple Shift to Quit Playing Small, Name the Fear, and Move Forward Anyway, Mary shares what it feels like to be the girl in the red cape, running from the big bad wolf of fear, survival mode, and burnout. They talk about the invisible rulebook everyone else seems to have, the ache of not measuring up, and the unexpected freedom that comes when you finally stop trying to prove your worth and start living from it instead. If you've ever felt underestimated—even by yourself—or caught in a cycle of self-sabotage you can't quite name —this episode is for you. Explore more from Mary: NameTheFear.com Archive Your Old Story: ArchiverQuiz.com Which Mary Marantz Message is Yours? Follow Mary on social media @marymarantz Order Underestimated wherever books are sold Loved this conversation? Subscribe to Hard & Holy wherever you listen, and if the episode made you feel seen—share it with a friend. Your ratings and reviews mean so much and help more people find these sacred conversations.

    34 min

  8. 04/25/2025

    19. When You Need to Feel Seen: Motherhood, Ministry, and Revival in the Ordinary

    In this heartfelt episode of Hard & Holy, Cass sits down with Cleere Reeves, special needs mother, entrepreneur, host of Let's Be Cleere podcast, and author of Revive: Declarations of God's Truth To Renew Your Spirit. They dive into a rich conversation about the beauty and burden of caregiving, the loneliness that can come with ministry and motherhood, and the intentionality it takes to both give and receive grace. Cleere shares what led her to write Revive, and the ways declaring truth has changed how she walks through hard seasons. This episode will speak to anyone who's ever struggled to feel seen, known, or supported—especially in seasons that feel overlooked or misunderstood. In this episode, we talk about: Navigating motherhood, ministry, and entrepreneurship with honesty and faith Cleere's journey as a special needs mother and how it shapes her spiritual life Why receiving grace can be harder than offering it The purpose behind Revive and how declaring God's truth brings renewal The deep longing for community, safety, and belonging Trusting God in the detours you never saw coming This episode is for you if you've ever wondered whether your unseen faithfulness matters, wrestled with receiving grace, or longed to feel less alone in your season. Connect with Cleere Reeves: Get her book Revive: Declarations of God's Truth To Renew Your Spirit → https://cleerereeves.com/revive  Visit her website → https://cleerereeves.com Follow her on Instagram → @cleere.reeves Loved this conversation? Subscribe to Hard & Holy wherever you listen, and if the episode made you feel seen—share it with a friend. Your ratings and reviews mean so much and help more women find these sacred conversations.

    40 min
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About

Do you ever feel weary in your faith journey? Whether you've been wounded by others or wandered away with disillusionment, life gets hard when we walk the path alone. Welcome to the Hard & Holy podcast, sweet friend. I'm your host, Cassandra Speer. My mission is to have hard conversations on holy ground. I want to invite you to carry the hard and heavy while holding the hope of eternity. After co-authoring two books (Her True Worth: Breaking Free from a Culture of Selfies, Side Hustles, and People Pleasing to Embrace Your True Identity in Christ and There's Beauty in Your Brokenness), I'll now be using my seminary education to dive deep into the difficult trials we encounter as believers and help us faithfully wrestle with hard questions, doubt, depression, and confusion as a Christian. Through candid solo reflections and enlightening interviews, we'll be chatting about things like: - Mental Health, - Forgiveness and Access, - Mentorship / Discipleship, - Addiction/Abuse, and - Overcoming Generational Cycles My heart is to point you to hope, healing, and the mighty power of God at work within and through you. I'm Cass, and this is the "Hard & Holy" Podcast—a sacred space where we confront life's challenges with faith, curiosity, and courage. https://cassandraspeer.com/

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