Throw Off The Lines - TOTL Podcast

Stephanie York

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Throw Off the Lines, the podcast where we navigate life’s changes, explore new horizons, and embrace the journey. Visit us at www.throwoffthelines.com.

6D AGO

EP 51: Contrast Loneliness - Get More From Your Social Interactions

Send a text Contrast loneliness, or post-social loneliness, is the unexpected feeling of isolation that can arise after socializing or even scrolling social media. It’s not about being alone; it’s the gap between the connection you hoped for and what you actually experienced. You can feel lonely in a crowded room if interactions lack depth or authenticity. This often stems from unmet expectations, comparisons, and our brain’s tendency to magnify negatives over positives. When one awkward moment overshadows everything good, socializing can start to feel stressful, reinforcing a cycle of withdrawal. Try this reflection practice: Before: Check your expectations, are they realistic?During: Notice small positives (music, atmosphere, one good conversation).After: List 3 positives and rate any negatives from 1–10 to avoid catastrophizing.To reduce contrast loneliness: Build meaningful connections, limit comparison on social media, practice self-compassion, and give yourself permission to leave when overwhelmed. Episode Summary Contrast loneliness (also called post-social loneliness) is the unexpected feeling of isolation that can happen after spending time with others, or even while scrolling social media. It’s not about being physically alone; it’s about a lack of meaningful connection when interactions don’t meet our emotional needs or expectations. Remember: Growth lives in discomfort. Stop comparing. You are not behind. The world doesn’t need a perfect version of you; it needs the real you, and that is wonderfully perfect! Listen for questions you can ask yourself.

41 min
FEB 12

Anger Series: The Constructive Expresser - Turning Anger into Power

Send a text The Constructive Expresser: Turning Anger Into Power (Final Episode in the Anger Series) Throughout this series, we’ve explored anger that simmers, explodes, or leaks out sideways. In this final episode, we turn to the healthiest—and least common—pattern of all: The Constructive Expresser. This is the woman who doesn’t suppress anger or let it control her. She uses it. The Constructive Expresser treats anger as information and energy; a signal that something matters and a tool for setting boundaries, improving relationships, and creating meaningful change. The good news? This is a skill, not a personality trait, and anyone can learn it. In this episode, we explore: What constructive anger actually looks like in real lifeHow this style differs from stewing, exploding, or leakingWhy direct, calm expression builds confidence instead of conflictA powerful reflection question: When have I spoken my truth calmly and felt stronger afterward?Five steps to practice constructive expression: Pause & process — notice anger without reacting immediatelyClarify the message — ask: What is my anger trying to tell me?Express with intention — use clear, direct language: “I feel… I need…”Set boundaries — let anger highlight where change, limits, or honesty are requiredTake action — channel anger into problem-solving, advocacy, or self-careSupport systems that strengthen this skill: Healthy anger doesn’t grow in isolation. We talk about how therapy or coaching, peer groups, mindfulness practices, and trusted relationships help reinforce assertive communication and emotional regulation—so anger stays grounded and effective. Hope & transformation: You may have been a Stewer. You may have been a Volcano. You may have been a Leaker. But you are not locked into any of those patterns. At any age, you can move toward constructive expression—one conversation, one boundary, one honest sentence at a time. Anger doesn’t have to push people away. It can be the fuel that pulls you closer to your truth, your voice, and your purpose. Resources mentioned: The Dance of Anger by Harriet LernerNonviolent Communication by Marshall RosenbergJournaling prompt: What boundary do I need to set today?Body-based support: walking, yoga, and mindful breathing to keep anger groundedClosing thought: Constructive anger is clarity. It’s your inner compass pointing to what matters most. Trust it. Use it. Let it guide you toward healthier relationships and deeper self-respect. Reflection for the week: Can you express one frustration calmly and directly, without apology? For more resources, courses, and ways to connect, visit www.stephanieyork.com

12 min
FEB 5

Anger Series: The Leaker - When Anger Leaks Out Sideways

Send a text The Leaker: When Anger Comes Out Sideways Not all anger explodes. Some of it slips out quietly—through sarcasm, passive-aggression, or constant nitpicking. In this episode, we’re exploring The Leaker—a subtle but powerful anger pattern where feelings aren’t expressed directly, so they leak out sideways instead. This often develops in women who were taught that being openly angry wasn’t safe, polite, or acceptable—and who learned to protect themselves by staying indirect. If you’ve ever heard yourself say something sharp and thought, That came out harsher than I meant, this episode is for you. In this episode, we explore: What Leaker anger really is—and why it hides behind sarcasm and “small” commentsCommon signs like silent treatment, backhanded compliments, guilt-inducing remarks, and nitpicking that misses the real issueThe emotional and physical cost of leaking anger, including resentment, stress, jaw tension, and digestive discomfortA powerful reflection question: Do I focus on little things because I’m afraid to speak about the big ones?Five ways to work with Leaker anger: Spot the leak — notice sarcasm, snark, or nitpicking as it’s happeningPause and ask why — identify the real feeling underneath: hurt, disappointment, feeling unseenState needs directly — use clear “I” statements instead of vague or cutting remarksPractice emotional honesty — replace indirect comments with truthful ones, even when it feels vulnerableRepair in the moment — name it and reset: “That came out snarky. What I meant was…”Support makes change easier: Leaker patterns are learned—and they can be unlearned. We talk about how therapy or coaching, communication tools, accountability partners, and mindfulness practices can help interrupt old habits before they slip out sideways. Hope & healing: If you’re a Leaker, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you learned creative ways to protect yourself when direct expression didn’t feel safe. Each honest sentence weakens the habit of leaking. And every direct conversation builds confidence. Your voice matters—and speaking clearly isn’t rude, dangerous, or wrong. It’s freeing. Resources mentioned: The Dance of Anger by Harriet LernerRadical Candor by Kim ScottJournaling prompt: What do I really want instead of what I’m criticizing?Mind–body practices like meditation, yoga, walking, and breathworkClosing thought: When anger leaks out, it creates distance. When it’s expressed honestly, it creates connection. Reflection for the week: Can you turn one sarcastic or nitpicky moment into an honest statement? 👉 For more resources, courses, and ways to connect, visit www.stephanieyork.com

17 min
JAN 29

Anger Series: The Volcano - When Anger Erupts

Send a text The Volcano: When Anger Erupts Some anger stays quiet. Some turns inward. And some of it builds pressure until it explodes. In today’s episode, we’re talking about The Volcano—a pattern of anger that simmers beneath the surface until it erupts in sudden, intense, and often uncharacteristic bursts. If you’ve ever felt “fine” one moment and completely overwhelmed the next, you’re not alone. This type of anger is especially common for women in midlife who were taught—explicitly or implicitly—to suppress frustration, avoid conflict, and keep the peace. Eventually, that pressure has to go somewhere. In this episode, we explore: What Volcano anger really looks like—and why it can feel so uncontrollableCommon signs, including overreactions, regret after outbursts, and physical warning signals like a racing heart, clenched jaw, or tight chestA key reflection question: Do my reactions feel bigger than the situation? Do I regret what I say afterward?Five ways to work with Volcano anger: Identify triggers early — keep a simple anger log to notice patterns in people, situations, or times of dayLearn pre-eruption cues — your body often signals anger before your mind catches upCreate a pause practice — step away, breathe, count, or take a short walk before respondingChannel the energy — movement, journaling, or creative outlets help release intensity safelyCommunicate assertively — replace explosions with calm, direct language like: “I feel frustrated when…”Support makes a difference: Volcano anger doesn’t heal in isolation. We talk about how therapy, coaching, stress or anger support groups, medical check-ins (hormones, sleep, thyroid), and trusted relationships can provide accountability and safe outlets. The goal isn’t to eliminate anger—it’s to direct it before it detonates. Hope & healing: Noticing a trigger before you explode is progress. Pausing once when you didn’t before is progress. You’re not broken. Your anger is energy looking for direction. When you learn to release it safely, anger shifts from destruction to fuel—and becomes a compass pointing toward unmet needs and necessary change. Resources mentioned: The Dance of AngerEmotional AgilityMind–body tools like progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, and mindfulness practicesJournaling prompt: What did I need before I exploded—and how could I express that sooner next time?Closing thought: Volcano anger doesn’t define you. It usually means you’ve been holding too much inside for too long. The more you release in safe, honest ways, the less power the eruption has. Reflection for the week: Can you try one pause—just one—before reacting? 👉 For more resources, courses, and ways to connect, visit www.stephanieyork.com

15 min
JAN 22

Anger Series: The Stewer - Turning Anger Inward

Send a text The Stewer: When Anger Turns Inward Some anger explodes. Some leaks out sideways. And some of it quietly simmers beneath the surface. In today’s episode, we’re talking about the Stewer, the woman who turns her anger inward, letting it build until it shows up as stress, headaches, sleepless nights, chronic tension, or even depression. This pattern is incredibly common for women in midlife, especially those who were taught to be agreeable, self-sacrificing, and “not angry.” If you’ve ever swallowed your feelings to keep the peace—and paid for it later—this episode is for you. In this episode, we explore: What it really means to be a Stewer, and why this kind of anger is often invisible to others but exhausting on the insideCommon signs of inward anger, including self-blame, rumination, physical pain, insomnia, and loss of joyA powerful reflection question: When was the last time I swallowed my anger instead of speaking it?Five ways to work with inward anger: Name it without judgment: “I feel angry because…”Listen to your body: tension, fatigue, and pain are often emotional signalsCreate safe release: journaling, breathwork, movement, or physical dischargePractice small expressions: saying no, sharing a frustration, setting one boundaryReframe anger as wisdom: ask: What is this anger protecting or pointing me toward?Support matters: Healing inward anger doesn’t happen in isolation. We talk about the role of therapy, coaching, support groups, trusted relationships, and even medical professionals when anger shows up physically. Being witnessed breaks the silence and the shame. Closing thought: The anger you’ve been carrying isn’t here to destroy you. It’s here to guide you toward change. If you recognize yourself as a Stewer, know this: you’re not broken, you’re listening, just inward instead of outward. And there are safe, healthy ways to let that anger move before it burns you from the inside. Resources mentioned: The Dance of Anger by Harriet LernerMind-body practices like meditation and gentle yoga (Balance, Calm, Headspace)Journaling prompt: What am I holding onto that I need to release?For more resources, courses, and ways to connect, visit www.stephanieyork.com Reflection for the week: Where can you express one small truth instead of swallowing it?

21 min
JAN 16

Season 2 Launch!! Anger is NOT the problem - It's the Message

Send a text Anger Is NOT the Problem, It’s the Message You may want to grab a journal for this one. Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions for women—especially in midlife. It’s often dismissed, minimized, or labeled. But what if anger isn’t a flaw to fix… what if it’s a signal worth listening to? In this episode, I explore anger as wisdom and energy, not something to suppress or be ashamed of. I share my own experience—how subtle anger showed up during my marriage, how depression quietly turned into bitterness, and how unfulfilled expectations hardened into something I didn’t recognize in myself. I’ve always seen myself as a happy person, so the depth of heartbreak and anger surprised me—and eventually forced me to look inward instead of blaming outward. What changed everything was realizing there are different types of anger. Once I could see where mine lived and how it expressed itself, I could finally begin working with it instead of against it. My hope is that these reflections help you recognize your own patterns—or help you understand someone you love. In this episode, we cover: Why women’s anger is valid—and why stereotypes only make it harder to expressThe four common ways anger shows up: the Stewer, the Volcano, the Leaker, and the Constructive ExpresserSeven root causes of anger in midlife, from hormonal shifts and grief to injustice and loss of identityHow anger evolves with age—and why “better control” doesn’t always mean healthier outcomesFive practical steps to work with anger through awareness, safe expression, boundaries, and connectionKey takeaway: Anger is not weakness. It’s information. And at this stage of life, it can become the map back to your voice and your power, if you’re willing to listen. Reflection question: When anger shows up this week, will you push it down… or get curious about what it’s trying to tell you? For more resources, courses, and ways to connect, visit www.stephanieyork.com Research referenced: Women’s Midlife Health Journal https://womensmidlifehealthjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40695-016-0019-x

33 min
07/16/2025

EP 42: Manifest Series Pt. 6: The Power of Connection in Creating What You Want

Send a text You are not manifesting alone. Your thoughts, energy, and intentions are connected to a greater whole—the people around you, the energy of the universe, and the field of possibility that exists beyond the self. This series is inspired by The Source by Dr. Tara Swart. “Everything is connected—from your neurons to the people you meet to the unseen currents of energy moving through this world.” Let’s get to some of the science behind this interconnectedness. Neuroscience of interconnection: - Mirror neurons - Reticular Activating System (RAS): The more you believe in connection, the more your brain filters for signs of alignment. Energy psychology: Emotions have a frequency. There is a frequency to Joy and grief. As humans we can feel it. The law of resonance: Like attracts like. Brain and body in unity: Your nervous system regulates—and your manifesting power increases. Finding a way to quiet the nervous system, feel the peace and work towards the actions You are not separate: Your thoughts influence your actions, which influence others. The universe is responsive—not random. Everything is relationship: Your job is to move in alignment with others, not in competition with them. Ways connection shows up: - Synchronicities (aka "signs") - Unexpected help or conversations. - Feeling a strong “pull” toward someone or something. Dr. Swart's insight: “When you make decisions in alignment with your higher self and the greater good, opportunities seem to flow to you more easily.” 4 steps to find a universal connection through your practice. Step 1: Connect with others mindfullyStep 2: Send out clear energetic signalsStep 3: Use visualizations of interconnectionStep 4: Gratitude strengthens the connection Reflection prompt: “Where in my life am I trying to manifest in isolation? And what opens up when I remember I’m connected to something greater?” Connection Challenge: For the next 7 days, do one intentional action each day that honors your connection to others: Reach out to someoneExpress gratitude Help someone else move closer to their dreamFinally, a closing mantra for you from this manifestation episode . Say to yourself “I am connected to everything I need—and everything I need is connected to me.” Manifestation isn’t a solo game. You are a thread in a much larger tapestry. Thank you for listening to our series. It has been a lot of fun turning what is sometimes considered a fluffy practice, by me as well, into an actionable thing that helps me continue to grow and change and lead a healthier happier more purpose driven life. Besides, what do you have to lose? Send any questions you may have to info@throwoffthelines.com. Until next time throw off those line that are holding you tied down. Have a TOTL day and take care. https://www.taraswart.com/the-source/

25 min
07/09/2025

EP 41 Manifest Series Pt. 5 Manifestation in Harmony: Create Without Harm

Send a text This is a podcast series inspired by The Source by Dr. Tara Swart. Today, we’re diving into a vital and often overlooked principle: Harmony in manifestation.” “You can manifest your dreams and still be kind. Still be ethical. Still be in integrity.” Dr. Swart offers this framework: “Neuroscience shows that our success is deeply influenced by our relationships and our alignment with shared human values.”The ego vs. the aligned self: Ego says: “Get what you want no matter what.”Alignment says: “Get what you want in a way that’s sustainable, kind, and true.”Ego vs. Aligned Self — Key Points The ego operates from fear and scarcity. The aligned self operates from truth and trust. Why harmony matters: You can’t attract peace if your actions generate harm.Manifestation that comes from greed, competition, or deception is not sustainable—and often collapses under its own weight.Ego Based Manifestation is often referred to as Shadow What It Looks Like: GreedCompetitionDeceptionWhy It’s Harmful: It often leads to short-term gains but long-term disconnection, burnout, or collapse.It feeds insecurity, envy, and scarcity in others.It violates trust—with others and with your own deeper self.Ethical Reframe: Instead of “How can I get more?” Ask: “How can I create more in a way that’s true, generous, and aligned with my values?” Signs You’re Out of Harmony Red flags:Guilt or unease manipulative tactics What this does to your brain and energy:Activates your stress responseCreates subconscious blocks Limits ability to receive Reflection prompt: “Am I proud of the way I’m going after this desire?”“Would I feel good if this was printed on the front page of a newspaper?”How to Manifest in Harmony Step 1: Choose integrity-based desiresStep 2: Consider ripple effectsStep 3: Align your nervous system with peaceStep 4: Focus on co-creationReflection questions: “Where can I move with more compassion this week?”“What’s one small change I can make to manifest more ethically and peacefully?”Harmony Challenge: This week, pause before every major decision or action and ask: “Is this in harmony with who I truly want to be?” Closing affirmation: “I create my dreams with grace, integrity, and respect for all life.” https://www.taraswart.com/the-source/

26 min

5

out of 5

6 Ratings

Throw Off the Lines, the podcast where we navigate life’s changes, explore new horizons, and embrace the journey. Visit us at www.throwoffthelines.com.

Creator

Stephanie York
Years Active

2024 - 2026
Episodes

51
Rating

Clean
Copyright

© 2026 Throw Off The Lines - TOTL Podcast
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Throw Off The Lines - TOTL Podcast