The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes)

Lauren Hayes
  • 5.0 (4)
  • After Shows
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to an evolved "The Examined Lives" podcast!  What started as a deep dive into the drama of the The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives reality show has evolved into a bold exploration of modern love, non-monogamy, and its portrayal in mainstream media.  Join hosts Lauren, an ENM relationship coach and swinger, and Ben, an ex-LDS polyamorist, as they bring their unique perspectives to mainstream media’s portrayal of ethical non-monogamy. From dissecting TV shows to sharing their own insights and experiences, Lauren and Ben invite you to laugh, learn, and rethink what love can look like. Whether you're here for the spicy stories, thought-provoking discussions, or just some good company, this podcast is your go-to for real talk about relationships that break the mold. Buckle up—it’s about to get real, raw, and a little rebellious! Still, unofficially representing real communities sometimes misrepresented in media Hosted by: Lauren Hayes, Swinging Lifestyle Coach & her poly friend, Ben

  1. 6d ago

    Down to Feel Good St. Louis

    Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben return with a deep dive into HBO Max's DTF St. Louis - a weatherman, a case of peyronies, and a friendship intimate enough to be its own subplot. Is it a show about ethical non-monogamy? Not exactly. Infidelity is doing a lot of the heavy lifting here, but is it sex positive? Weirdly, mostly yes. Lauren and Ben work through where the line is between "ethical for me" and "not my responsibility to police," why validation and self-esteem get so tangled up in sex and dating apps, and why so many messy non-monogamy storylines in TV seems to end the same way (spoiler: it's not good). They also get into the show's surprisingly tender male friendship, a very memorable new term (SPH, if you're taking notes), and why "modern love" might be the most overlooked phrase in the series. Plus: BBC myths, hot wife dynamics, and the eternal question of what happens when your self-worth is riding on an app match. Got a show or movie with an ENM thread we should cover next? Send it our way. More from Lauren at swinginglifestylecoach.com and @swinginglifestylecoach on Facebook and Instagram. STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach.com/inperson-retreats Get my book: For Better or Even Better: 7 Lessons on Love & Life from a Non-Monogamist Website: SwingingLifestyleCoach.com  Social Media Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/swinginglifestylecoach Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SwingingLifestyleCoach YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVZR-9HggJ51NaJnXCnq0Ew

    39 min

  2. 11/10/2025

    She’s Gotta Have It — and So Do We

    Send us Fan Mail Ben and Lauren kick off this week’s episode with a few spicy tales from her latest swinger shenanigans at a lifestyle resort- because why ease in when you can dive right in? It’s late October, which means it’s officially Swinger Christmas (aka Halloween), so the party-talk begins. From there, they turn their attention to She’s Gotta Have It (2017), the bold, unapologetic series about Nola Darling - a free-spirited Black artist navigating love, sex, and identity as she dates three men and a woman. Lauren and Ben unpack the gender dynamics, power plays, and deeper layers that make Nola such a complex character - not just as a polyamorous woman, but as a whole human being. With themes touching on women’s autonomy, sexual assault, body image, and self-expression, this lively conversation explores how She’s Gotta Have It dares to mix art, sex, and social commentary in ways that still feel fresh and provocative today. STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach.com/inperson-retreats Get my book: For Better or Even Better: 7 Lessons on Love & Life from a Non-Monogamist Website: SwingingLifestyleCoach.com  Social Media Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/swinginglifestylecoach Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SwingingLifestyleCoach YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVZR-9HggJ51NaJnXCnq0Ew

    38 min

  3. 09/22/2025

    Splitsville: Comedy Win, ENM Fail

    Send us Fan Mail Lauren and Ben dive into Splitsville—the gloriously unhinged new movie where a handjob-fueled car crash leads to divorce, an “open marriage circus,” and a bro-fight so long it could’ve had intermission popcorn. Lauren actually saw the whole film (so you don’t necessarily have to), while Ben only managed the trailer—though that doesn’t stop him from handing out hot takes and wishing for raunchier American comedies. Along the way, we get weekend updates: cozy threesomes, Billy Idol rocking shirtless at 69, and Ben sheepishly asking Lauren to boss him around more. The conversation hits all the messy intersections of monogamy and ENM—“no rules” hookups that go sideways, honesty that isn’t honest, and whether penises deserve serious actor cred. It’s a roast of cinematic chaos, equal parts disaster and delight. STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach.com/inperson-retreats Get my book: For Better or Even Better: 7 Lessons on Love & Life from a Non-Monogamist Website: SwingingLifestyleCoach.com  Social Media Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/swinginglifestylecoach Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SwingingLifestyleCoach YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVZR-9HggJ51NaJnXCnq0Ew

    23 min

  4. 09/12/2025

    Trigonometry & the Awkward Art of Adding a Third

    Send us Fan Mail  Lauren and Ben kick off with Ben's hilariously mundane life updates - school stress and parties - while Lauren reveals about her French nudist swinger village jaunt, where badges are mandatory but clothing is not. This episode covers everything from unicorn cakes to awkward throuple jealousy. They dissect "Trigonometry," a slow-burn British gem where a couple accidentally throuples with their Olympic swimmer lodger, complete with vulva slip-ups, drag bar unicorn roasts, and a honeymoon ruined by overthinking the "third." Their poly insights shine: no role models means dramatic mess-ups, but it's refreshingly real on unicorn vulnerabilities and coming-out chaos. Tune in for laughs around the truisms that ENM is sometimes stickier than movie theater floors.  STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach.com/inperson-retreats Get my book: For Better or Even Better: 7 Lessons on Love & Life from a Non-Monogamist Website: SwingingLifestyleCoach.com  Social Media Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/swinginglifestylecoach Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SwingingLifestyleCoach YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVZR-9HggJ51NaJnXCnq0Ew

    29 min

  5. Season 2 Trailer

    Season 2 Trailer: The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes) has Evolved (as everyone should)

    Send us Fan Mail We started out as a reaction podcast to The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives because we haaaate it when our community is represented by those who know nothing about our community. Well, we were fooled by the click-bait, and it had little to do with our community.  Ben and I pivoted and now we review shows with ENM themes. We review them and discuss how ENM is portrayed...and if the show is any good. We are a couple of friends - he's poly, I'm a swinger - and we love our communities - and hanging out with each other. So join us for some light-hearted ENM fun. STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach.com/inperson-retreats Get my book: For Better or Even Better: 7 Lessons on Love & Life from a Non-Monogamist Website: SwingingLifestyleCoach.com  Social Media Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/swinginglifestylecoach Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SwingingLifestyleCoach YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVZR-9HggJ51NaJnXCnq0Ew

    2 min

  6. 08/04/2025

    Dying for Sex (and Lasagna)

    Send us Fan Mail One host just got back from a 2500-couple sex convention. The other is sleepy by 11 PM. Let the games begin. Lauren and Ben tackle the profound TV show Dying for Sex. But not before they workshop the best story for a sprained finger. The whole thing descends into anarchy when Lauren realizes she missed the episode with all the kink, leaving Ben to explain dom/sub dynamics, dick-kicking, and the vital importance of bringing lasagna to a sex-party.  STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach.com/inperson-retreats Get my book: For Better or Even Better: 7 Lessons on Love & Life from a Non-Monogamist Website: SwingingLifestyleCoach.com  Social Media Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/swinginglifestylecoach Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SwingingLifestyleCoach YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVZR-9HggJ51NaJnXCnq0Ew

    29 min

  7. 07/07/2025

    Compersion Season 2: ENM & The How Not To

    Send us Fan Mail Fresh from the dusty desert plains of a Burning Man-esque festival, a sleepy Lauren and Ben kick things off with tales of naked bike rides, spanking vs. stomach-raspberries (you'll have to listen to find out who chose what), and a goddess statue with vape-juice teats. Then, they dive into the final season of "Compersion," a show with a plot so bonkers it leaves Ben speechless: a wife inviting her husband's affair partner over for lasagna to… get them back together?! Tune in for a masterclass in (mostly) what not to do. STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach.com/inperson-retreats Get my book: For Better or Even Better: 7 Lessons on Love & Life from a Non-Monogamist Website: SwingingLifestyleCoach.com  Social Media Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/swinginglifestylecoach Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SwingingLifestyleCoach YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVZR-9HggJ51NaJnXCnq0Ew

    30 min

  8. 06/03/2025

    Compersion Season 1: A (kinda) Cautionary Tale

    Send us Fan Mail Lauren kicks things off by humbling Ben’s enthusiasm—turns out she’s not soooo good, just “regular good.” From there, they dive into a lively pre-show chat that includes music festival misadventures and an unfiltered look at Lauren’s “Sacred Sluts” project. Then it's time for a no-holds-barred breakdown of Compersion Season 1: morning-after mishaps, questionable partner choices (maybe don’t date the kid’s teacher?), and the ever-controversial one-penis policy. There’s laughter, a little cringing, and plenty of insight into what not to do in non-monogamy.  STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach.com/inperson-retreats Get my book: For Better or Even Better: 7 Lessons on Love & Life from a Non-Monogamist Website: SwingingLifestyleCoach.com  Social Media Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/swinginglifestylecoach Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SwingingLifestyleCoach YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVZR-9HggJ51NaJnXCnq0Ew

    27 min
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Trailers

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Welcome to an evolved "The Examined Lives" podcast!  What started as a deep dive into the drama of the The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives reality show has evolved into a bold exploration of modern love, non-monogamy, and its portrayal in mainstream media.  Join hosts Lauren, an ENM relationship coach and swinger, and Ben, an ex-LDS polyamorist, as they bring their unique perspectives to mainstream media’s portrayal of ethical non-monogamy. From dissecting TV shows to sharing their own insights and experiences, Lauren and Ben invite you to laugh, learn, and rethink what love can look like. Whether you're here for the spicy stories, thought-provoking discussions, or just some good company, this podcast is your go-to for real talk about relationships that break the mold. Buckle up—it’s about to get real, raw, and a little rebellious! Still, unofficially representing real communities sometimes misrepresented in media Hosted by: Lauren Hayes, Swinging Lifestyle Coach & her poly friend, Ben

Information

  • Creator
    Lauren Hayes
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    23
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes)
  • Show Website
    The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes)

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