The Relationship Blueprint: Unlock Your Power of Connection

Colleen Kowal, LPC
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Colleen is a student of Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt who created the Imago Theory and have brought this work to over 50 countries around the world. She is profoundly influenced by this belief shared by Dr. Harville Hendrix. He said, "We are born in relationship, wounded in relationship and healed in relationship."What are you struggling with today?  Colleen believes that almost any problem we have began with a broken or unhealed relationship. The anxiety or deep sadness we feel often began with unresolved issues in our relationships with our parents, partner, family or friends. When we have unmet needs we are programed to get those needs met. When we don't get what we need we protest by protecting ourselves.  this often looks like defensive, critical,  demanding behaviors. these behaviors are most often ineffective. As a result we may  develop unhealthy relationship with food, sex, gambling our or a substance.  Colleen invites world renown relationship specialists from all over the world to help her guests explore their own relationships and see their problems through a relational lens. She will help us explore how to create intimacy to deepen our connections. Her listeners will gain insights to create a more joyful life. Colleen is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of South Carolina, a certified, Advanced Imago Clinical therapist,  a clinical instructor for the Imago International Trading Institute  while maintaining her clinical practice in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.   Thank you for joining Colleen today.  Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. Join her next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

  1. 7H AGO

    A Survivor Shares How Faith, Therapy, and Safe Relationships Rewire A Nervous System After Early Abuse;

    Send a text A tender, unflinching story can change the way we think about healing. Destiny joins us to share how early childhood sexual abuse, grooming, and years of anxiety shaped her sense of self—and how therapy, faith, writing, and the quiet weight of a small dog helped her find safety again. We set a strong container with trigger guidance and then move with care, connecting her personal truth to a wider landscape of accountability as global headlines revisit systemic exploitation. What emerges is a practical path forward that listeners can use today. We explore how the brain shields children from overwhelming events, why memory can return in pieces, and how the body often “knows” long before language arrives. Destiny’s phrase “born in connection, wounded in connection, healed in connection” threads through the hour as we talk co‑regulation with pets, guided grounding, and the power of one reliably safe adult. She describes the instability of bouncing between homes, the people‑pleasing that followed, and the moment education in developmental psychology reframed her experience from self‑blame to clarity. Along the way, we tackle generational trauma with compassion, acknowledge complex loyalty within families, and highlight the everyday tools that make recovery real: short centering breaks, boundaries, sober community, movement, prayer, and honest pages in a journal. There is hope here. Destiny’s reconnection with her father through his sobriety and shared hot yoga shows how healing relationships can be rebuilt with time and consistency. Her hardest work—self‑forgiveness—replaced the label “dirty” with a truth every survivor deserves to hear: innocence was stolen, worth remains intact. If you or someone you love has carried similar pain, press play for grounded encouragement, trauma‑informed insight, and practical steps you can take right now. If this conversation resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help more survivors find a safe place to land. Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

    58 min

  2. FEB 21

    From Silent Messages To Strong Boundaries: How Women Reclaim Voice, Value, And Connection

    Send a text Ever felt yourself shrink in a relationship even while you’re thriving at work? We dig into the hidden scripts that push women to overgive, stay likable at all costs, and walk on eggshells—and we show how to replace those scripts with boundaries, evidence, and dialogue that actually connect. Psychoanalyst and couples therapist Dr. Kerry O’Reilly joins us to name the silent messages many of us absorbed as girls: be agreeable, don’t be too much, earn approval to feel safe. Those messages harden into beliefs like I’m not enough or If I speak up, I’ll be left. Kerry explains why self-help tips don’t stick when the underlying belief is faulty, and she introduces the ABCDE method for challenging old stories with real-life proof. We talk about how cultural noise targets women in power, how approval addiction sneaks into love, and why generosity without balance becomes overfunctioning that drains desire. We also map practical steps for change at home. Think 50-yard-line teamwork, not tit for tat; clear asks rooted in longing, not criticism; and structured conversation that moves couples from monologue to dialogue. As we trade mind reading for curiosity, perspective becomes visible, empathy grows, and conflict softens. You’ll hear how partners can learn measured risk and steadiness from each other, and how updating beliefs lowers anxiety and raises presence across every relationship—romantic, family, work, and self. If you’re ready to stop dimming your light and start feeling seen, heard, and valued, this one’s for you. Listen, try the ABCDE exercise, and practice one small boundary this week. Then share your takeaways, subscribe for more Relationship Blueprint, and leave a review to help others find the show. Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

    46 min

  3. FEB 14

    "Medication Isn't Giving Up-It's Giving Yourself a Chance,"with Dr. Jana Wheeler

    Send a text What if sobriety is only the first chapter of healing? We sit down with Dr. Jana Wheeler, a psychiatric and wellness nurse practitioner, to unpack how mental health care—thoughtful assessment, smart medication, and steady therapy—can turn fragile recovery into a grounded, connected life. From pediatric roots to lifespan psychiatry, Jana’s path shows how compassion and science meet to support kids, teens, adults, and older adults with care that actually fits their lived experience. We get real about medication: who might benefit, who might not, and how to weigh risks against relief without fear or shame. Jana walks us through the questions people are afraid to ask—Will I gain weight? Will I lose my spark?—and explains why the right meds should help you feel like yourself, not less you. We break down suicidal ideation in clear terms, including how clinicians assess risk, why those intrusive thoughts are red flags for depression, and how quickly the right treatment can quiet them. ADHD gets the spotlight, especially in women who were overlooked as kids and learned to mask chaos with achievement. Jana shares her own late diagnosis and how targeted treatment sharpened focus, organization, and presence. We trace how untreated ADHD can spiral into self-medication and addiction, and why early screening, therapy, and evidence-based medication can change the story. We also confront stigma—across generations and cultures—and make the case for routine mental health checkups the way we book dental cleanings. Serious conditions like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are not the monsters culture makes them out to be. With consistent care, many people lead stable, meaningful lives; the challenge is sticking with treatment long enough to build insight and confidence. Along the way, we talk couples work, family support, and why recovery thrives in relationships. Healing is not a solo sport—when therapy, medication, and community row in the same direction, people move. If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review to help others find us. Your story might be the bridge someone else is waiting for. Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

    35 min

  4. FEB 7

    Your Partner Is Your Best Teacher When You Let Differences In, with Dr. Raluca Anton

    Send a text Love rarely breaks on differences; it breaks on our inability to make space for them. We sit down with Dr. Raluca Anton—psychologist, author, and Imago faculty member—to unpack why couples often share the same core needs but use opposite coping styles to get there. One partner finds safety in structure and planning, the other in freedom and exploration. When those worlds collide, fights about schools, money, or schedules are rarely about the topic. They’re about nervous systems, history, and the parts of ourselves we exiled to survive. Raluca shares a candid story from her own marriage—rules versus freedom—and how they learned to see the shared need beneath the clash. We map the power struggle’s hidden agenda (“I’ll love you once you change”) and offer a practical way out: create room for two truths without erasing yourself. Using Imago Dialogue, mirroring, validation, and empathy, couples can slow reactivity and start solving the real problem. You’ll hear why the traits you’re most annoyed by are often the ones your nervous system secretly craves, and how partners become unlikely teachers who help us reclaim lost parts like risk taking, play, or tenderness. This conversation is a field guide for building secure connection in a polarized world. Expect concrete takeaways: how to locate the shared need under any argument, craft “both-and” solutions that serve two nervous systems, and treat mistakes as essential data. Growth is not instant; brains learn through trial and error and repetition. When we honor effort, repair quickly, and repeat what works, we move from symbiosis to mature connection—two full selves choosing one life. Listen, reflect, and ask yourself: what do I lose when I refuse to accept difference, and what might I gain by making space for it? If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review to help more couples find their way back to each other. Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

    46 min

  5. 10/12/2025

    Are You Tired of Carrying All the Feelings? With Andrea DIndinger

    Send a text We explore the hidden costs of emotional labor and how unspoken expectations drain couples, then map simple ways to share the load with clarity, compassion, and practice. Andrea Dindinger returns with practical scripts, the “emotional leader” idea, and her Loop Breaker course on ending repeat fights. • defining emotional labor and why it’s exhausting • naming transitions and creating simple homecoming contracts • turning complaints into wishes and using soft startups • avoiding mind reading with clear weekly check‑ins • perfection pressure, comparison, and self‑talk that reduces resentment • walking on eggshells with kids and modeling repair • handling withdrawal and loud silence with explicit timeouts • rotating “emotional leader” roles for small wins and relief • early repairs versus costly avoidance and roof‑leak metaphor • choosing one next step and building confidence through practice “It's called The Loop Breaker... a really short digestible course that helps couples move out of the dynamics where they're having that same fight again and again... Find it at therapywithandrea.love or follow me on socials at Andrea Dindinger.” Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

    47 min

  6. 09/02/2025

    Death, Divorce, and Goldfish: A Surprisingly Hopeful Conversation with Kim Mackay-Pearson

    Send a text Therapist Kim Mackay-Pearson brings deep wisdom and compassion to grief counseling, helping individuals navigate loss while discovering pathways toward healing and hope. Kim creates safe spaces where people can honor their pain, reconnect with themselves, and reimagine life after grief. • Kim's journey into grief counseling began in middle school when selected for a program teaching children about death • Hospice work allowed Kim to witness more peaceful, caring end-of-life experiences • Grief extends beyond death to include retirement, divorce, identity changes, and physical limitations • Children need space to process grief rather than being shielded from funeral rites and discussions • The best thing to say to someone grieving: "I have no words, just know I'm here for you" • "Grief groceries" (comfort foods delivered) offer practical support when someone is grieving • Include children in conversations about death early - even a goldfish with limited lifespan provides learning opportunity • Prepare for end-of-life by documenting your wishes to ease burden on family members • The "NOK Box" organizes important information for next of kin after death If you're experiencing grief, reach out to Kim at kampcounseling@gmail.com or find her on Psychology Today. Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

    39 min

  7. 08/26/2025

    From Fear to Fierce Advocacy: A Parent's Journey with an LGBTQ+ Teen

    Send a text How do you respond when your child comes out as LGBTQ+? For many parents, this moment arrives without warning, triggering confusion, fear, and countless questions. Through Heather Hester's powerful story, we discover that this journey doesn't require perfect understanding—just an open heart. Heather never expected to become an LGBTQ+ advocate. Coming from a conservative evangelical background, she was completely unprepared when her 16-year-old son came out as gay. What followed was a profound transformation, as she navigated from initial shock to becoming the founder of Chrysalis Mama and host of the "More Human, More Kind" podcast, where she guides thousands of parents through similar journeys. The conversation offers crucial distinctions between sexual orientation and gender identity, helping parents understand these separate aspects of their child's experience. But beyond the terminology, Heather delivers a message that resonates universally: when your child shares who they truly are, believe them. This disclosure doesn't happen lightly—it follows intense introspection and courage. Perhaps most powerful is Heather's candid discussion of parental vulnerability. She shares how acknowledging mistakes, admitting uncertainty, and showing your own humanity transforms relationships with teenagers. "The minute we let our kids see us as human beings—not untouchable, perfect people—it changes everything," she explains, offering hope to parents struggling to connect with their teens. For parents hearing this news from their child, Heather recommends taking a pause to ask: "What is the best thing I can do in this moment?" The answer is almost always to validate, see, and love unconditionally. You don't need perfect understanding to offer perfect acceptance. Whether you're parenting an LGBTQ+ child or simply want to create more authentic connections with your teenagers, this conversation offers a blueprint for moving beyond fear toward deeper understanding, vulnerability, and love. Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

    38 min

  8. 08/13/2025

    What is Relational Literacy and How Do We Develop Conflict Positivity? with Dr. Banu İbaoğlu Vaughn

    Send a text What if everything you thought you knew about relationships was missing a crucial piece? That's the revelation Dr. Banu İbaoğlu Vaughn had despite years of clinical psychology training. "There comes a moment in each relationship where the pain of childhood comes to the surface, and that's what you wrestle with," she shares, recounting the transformative insight that changed her 25-year marriage. This episode introduces the powerful concept of "relational literacy" – the fundamental understanding of why relationships function as they do and how this knowledge helps us sustain meaningful connections. Dr. Banu brilliantly reframes conflict as "growth trying to happen," offering a perspective that turns relationship challenges from threats into opportunities for profound personal evolution. Through vulnerable stories from her own marriage, Dr. Banu demonstrates how our unconscious patterns inevitably emerge in intimate relationships. She describes a recent revelation about interpreting her husband's helpfulness as judgment – a reaction rooted in childhood experiences of criticism – and how awareness of this pattern created space for healing and deeper connection. The conversation explores the delicate balance between safety and aliveness that sustains long-term relationships. As Dr. Banu explains, "Humans are always conflicted between safety and aliveness. Safety is really important to stay alive. At the same time, safety, when above a certain degree, gets in the way of being alive." This tension creates the creative possibility for growth when approached with curiosity and compassion. Ready to transform how you understand and navigate your most important relationships? Listen now to gain insights that aren't taught in school but are essential for creating relationships where both partners can thrive. How might your relationship change if you approached conflict as an opportunity rather than a problem? Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

    40 min
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5
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About

Colleen is a student of Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt who created the Imago Theory and have brought this work to over 50 countries around the world. She is profoundly influenced by this belief shared by Dr. Harville Hendrix. He said, "We are born in relationship, wounded in relationship and healed in relationship."What are you struggling with today?  Colleen believes that almost any problem we have began with a broken or unhealed relationship. The anxiety or deep sadness we feel often began with unresolved issues in our relationships with our parents, partner, family or friends. When we have unmet needs we are programed to get those needs met. When we don't get what we need we protest by protecting ourselves.  this often looks like defensive, critical,  demanding behaviors. these behaviors are most often ineffective. As a result we may  develop unhealthy relationship with food, sex, gambling our or a substance.  Colleen invites world renown relationship specialists from all over the world to help her guests explore their own relationships and see their problems through a relational lens. She will help us explore how to create intimacy to deepen our connections. Her listeners will gain insights to create a more joyful life. Colleen is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of South Carolina, a certified, Advanced Imago Clinical therapist,  a clinical instructor for the Imago International Trading Institute  while maintaining her clinical practice in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.   Thank you for joining Colleen today.  Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. Join her next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

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