The Relationship Blueprint: Unlock Your Power of Connection

Colleen Kowal, LPC
  • 5.0 (16)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

"Colleen 'Coco' Kowal, LPC" is a student of Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt who created the Imago Theory and have brought this work to over 50 countries around the world. She is profoundly influenced by this belief shared by Dr. Harville Hendrix. He said, "We are born in relationship, wounded in relationship and healed in relationship."What are you struggling with today?  Coco believes that almost any problem we have began with a broken or unhealed relationship. The anxiety or deep sadness we feel often began with unresolved issues in our relationships with our parents, partner, family or friends. When we have unmet needs we are programed to get those needs met. When we don't get what we need we protest by protecting ourselves.  this often looks like defensive, critical,  demanding behaviors. these behaviors are most often ineffective. As a result we may  develop unhealthy relationship with food, sex, gambling our or a substance.  Coco invites world renown relationship specialists from all over the world to help her guests explore their own relationships and see their problems through a relational lens. She will help us explore how to create intimacy to deepen our connections. Her listeners will gain insights to create a more joyful life. "Colleen 'Coco' Kowal, LPC" is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of South Carolina, a certified, Advanced Imago Clinical therapist,  a clinical instructor for the Imago International Trading Institute  while maintaining her clinical practice in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.   Thank you for joining Coco today.  Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. Join her next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.Contact Coco at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

  1. 1d ago

    What New Parents Need To Know About Perinatal Mental Health with Latasha McFarland

    Send us Fan Mail Nobody warns you that bringing home a baby can bring home anxiety, grief, anger, and scary thoughts too. We sit down with Latasha Harrison McFarland from the Imago Center of Washington, D.C. to talk about the real transition into parenthood and why perinatal mental health deserves the same attention as feedings, sleep schedules, and pediatric appointments. From conception through the first year after birth, the emotional load can be heavy, and the stats are eye-opening: about 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men experience a mental health concern during this window. We break down what postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety can look like, including intrusive thoughts, guilt, and the shame that keeps parents silent. We also clarify postpartum psychosis, what “psychosis” actually means, and why judgment and punishment often replace the treatment and support families truly need. Along the way, we name a problem that rarely gets airtime: dads and partners can feel invisible in medical settings and overwhelmed at home, which can quietly reshape a relationship for years. You’ll hear concrete ways to prepare, like building a support plan before the baby arrives, finding groups, and using simple sentence stems that open honest couple dialogue without blame. We also point you toward resources like Postpartum Support International and share how to connect with Latasha’s programs, including parenting workshops. If this conversation helps you feel less alone, subscribe, share it with a new parent, and leave a review so more families can find support sooner. Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember,  don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

  2. Sep 2

    Why Shame, Not Conflict, Is the Real Root of Relationship Problems w/ Jessica Fern and David Cooley

    Send us Fan Mail The hardest part of an argument is not the topic, it is the moment your body decides you are not safe. When that happens, we reach for defense, we project, we criticize, or we shut down and afterward we wonder, “What came over me?” I sit down with trauma specialist and Polysecure author Jessica Fern and restorative relationship facilitator David Cooley to map what is really happening under the surface and how to change it without pretending we do not get triggered. We start with their lived credibility: more than 23 years together that includes marriage, divorce, rebuilding, and successful co-parenting. From there, we get practical. David breaks down restorative relationship conversations, a structured approach drawn from restorative justice that prioritizes consent, clarity, preparation, and nervous system safety before you touch the “iceberg” topics like money or parenting. Jessica reframes attachment theory beyond monogamy, explains how betrayal can create sudden anxious attachment, and why romantic bonds can trigger primal panic even when you feel secure in other relationships. Then we go straight into their newest framework from Transforming the Shame Triangle. You will learn the three points of the Shame Triangle (inner critic, shame, and escapers), how escapers show up as perfectionism, numbing, or outward criticism, and how Internal Family Systems parts work helps you relate to your partner’s reactivity as a part, not their whole identity. If you want better communication skills, healthier conflict repair, and more authentic intimacy, this one gives you a clear path forward. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a gentler way to fight, and leave a review so more people can find the show.  Support Our Guests on this episode! Get their book here: https://goodreads.com/book/show/62998140.Polywise_A_Deeper_Dive_Into_Navigating_Open_Relationships Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember,  don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

  3. Aug 15

    You’re Allowed to Slow Down: Finding Rest When Your Mind Won’t with Kathryn Nicolai

    Send us Fan Mail Sleep problems rarely start in the bedroom. They start in the stories we tell ourselves about worth, productivity, and whether we’re allowed to slow down. I’m joined by Kathryn Nicolai, creator of the world-famous Nothing Much Happens podcast, longtime yoga and mindfulness teacher, and author of On the Street Where You Live. Together we unpack why so many capable, caring people lie down at night and suddenly feel unsafe in their own minds and bodies. Kathryn shares how gentle, atmospheric bedtime stories use sensory detail and repetition to lower cognitive load, regulate the nervous system, and give your brain permission to let go. We also talk about why “cozy” is really a form of safety, and why a familiar voice in the background can help your body settle in a way silence sometimes can’t. We get practical about insomnia and the dreaded 3 AM wake-up. Kathryn explains the default mode network spiral and why the most effective move is often to give your brain a simple external task, not to “try harder” to sleep. We also address the real health stakes of deep, regular sleep for memory, cognition, immunity, and cardiovascular health, plus an important reminder: there’s no shame in the medication game if that’s what helps you climb out of the sleep-deprivation hole. Finally, we explore bibliotherapy and stories as medicine, how kindness in narrative can repair the wear and tear of daily life, and bedtime rituals that feel good without turning sleep hygiene into another performance. If you’re ready for a calmer relationship with sleep and a gentler relationship with yourself, press play, then subscribe, share this with someone who’s struggling, and leave us a review with your favorite nighttime wind-down habit. Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember,  don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

  4. Jul 24

    The Real Biology Of Anger In Relationships with Jill Wolf

    Send us Fan Mail Anger has a strange superpower: it can make us feel strong in the exact moment we’re most likely to damage the relationship we care about. We sit down with Jill Wolf, an Imago therapist and faculty member, to unpack what anger is really doing in the body and why it so often fails as a communication strategy even when the complaint is valid.  We talk through the biology of anger management and emotional self-regulation: how anger can act like an anesthetic for physical and emotional pain, how it creates a temporary “boost” of inauthentic energy, and why the crash afterward can leave us depleted or ashamed. Jill explains why anger distorts perception, narrows our focus, and shuts down problem-solving when we “flip our lid.” We also explore a key relationship dynamic: anger can feel satisfying to send, but it almost always feels unsafe to receive.  From there we get practical. We share what it looks like to express anger in a relationship-safe way: taking a real timeout (and coming back on purpose), speaking “by appointment,” and using simple tools like Jill’s “anger jar” to release intensity without aiming it at your partner. We also name what often sits underneath anger, like shame, fear of abandonment, powerlessness, rejection, and the need to feel lovable, plus the cultural double standards that change how anger and tears get interpreted.  If you want better conflict resolution, healthier communication skills, and more connection in your relationship, listen now, then subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find Relationship Blueprint. Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember,  don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

  5. Jul 14

    What If The Opposite Of Addiction Is Connection? With James and Maureen Brine

    Send us Fan Mail Addiction can make you feel like you’re watching someone disappear in slow motion, and we wanted to create something that feels honest, practical, and full of hope. I’m joined by Maureen Bryan, an addiction specialist and relationship therapist, and her son James Bryan, who’s been clean for over eight and a half years and now works as an addiction counselor and sober coach. Together, we talk about what recovery really looks like when you’re living inside the fear, the guilt, and the constant “what now?” calls. James shares how substance use started young as a way to numb an empty feeling tied to abandonment and early trauma, and why the real question isn’t “Why the addiction?” but “What’s the pain underneath?” We dig into the difference between sober coaching and sober companions, why one-size-fits-all recovery plans can backfire, and why therapy and trauma-informed support often matter as much as stopping the substance. If you’ve searched for help with addiction recovery, family support, or how to help a loved one get sober, this story offers language and direction you can use immediately. Maureen also opens up about the brutal middle ground families live in: trying to stay connected without enabling, getting shamed as “codependent,” and learning that love has to have edges. We talk about speaking with respect while still being direct, setting boundaries you can keep, and how community and surrender can change everything, especially in a world where opioids and fentanyl have raised the stakes. If this conversation helps you, subscribe, share it with someone who needs hope, and leave a review so more families can find it. Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember,  don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

  6. Jun 21

    How Internal Family Systems Turns Inner Chaos Into Calm

    Send us Fan Mail Your mind isn’t the enemy, even when it feels like it. We sit down with Gregg Bossen from Atlanta to unpack how Internal Family Systems (IFS) turned decades of inner chaos into something he can finally live with and lead. After years of therapy and a painful marriage ending that sent him into anxiety, insomnia, and a frightening spiral, Gregg found a different approach: stop fighting the voices and start listening to them. Gregg breaks down IFS in clear, human terms: the exiled younger parts holding raw pain, the protector parts that built “one job” strategies to keep him safe, and the core Self that can reparent the whole system with calm and compassion. We talk about why cognitive counter-statements can become a mental tug-of-war, and why welcoming a part with “I love you, I hear you” can actually quiet the nervous system. He shares practical tools like asking “Who’s talking right now?” plus naming parts and even giving them images, including “George” the comparative voice and “Belle” the worrier. We also go deeper into what healing really looks like over time: earning protectors’ trust, feeling safe without needing external validation, and facing shame tied to identity and worthiness in relationships. We end with a fascinating preview on using ChatGPT for journaling and reflection as a feedback tool while staying grounded in professional mental health support. If this story gives you hope, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find Relationship Blueprint. What inner “part” do you notice showing up most lately? Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember,  don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

  7. Jun 13

    How Ketamine Assisted Therapy Helps Partners Reconnect: A dive into alternative healing with Jayne Gumpel and Carol Kramer

    Send us Fan Mail Ketamine is one of those words that can stop people cold and for good reason if all you’ve heard are headlines, overdoses, or “Hollywood drug” stories. So we slow it down and get specific: what does ketamine assisted psychotherapy look like when the goal is not just symptom relief, but helping a couple actually reconnect when they’re locked in defensiveness, blame, and the same painful loop? We’re joined by Jayne Gumpel, a seasoned couples therapist trained in Gestalt, Imago Relationship Therapy, mindfulness-based stress reduction, and psychodrama, and Carol Kramer, long-time Imago faculty and therapist who brings decades of dialogue work plus a deeply personal account of what changed for her when ketamine helped “melt the walls.” Together, we talk about the neuroscience in plain language, including how ketamine can relax the default mode network so partners can see their stories with more spaciousness, curiosity, and real vulnerability instead of automatic protection. You’ll also hear why integration is non-negotiable. We contrast infusion-only ketamine clinics with a full ketamine assisted psychotherapy model that includes prep, a guided dosing session, and integration sessions that stitch insight into daily life. We dig into safety, screening, ethics, the role of licensed medical providers, and special considerations for people in recovery or with addiction history. And we close by zooming out into the bigger frame: spirituality, community, hope, and the idea that cultivating joy is part of healing in relationships and in the world. If this conversation opens your mind or challenges your assumptions, subscribe, share it with someone who cares about relationship repair, and leave us a review on your podcast app or YouTube. What part of your relationship would you want to see with fresh eyes? Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember,  don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

  8. May 23

    What is your pain trying to tell you? Explore physical, emotional and spiritual healing with Tanya Colucci

    Send us Fan Mail You can’t heal what your body still protects. Pain that won’t budge. A mind that understands the pattern but can’t change it. Relationships that stay stuck because your nervous system won’t let you soften. We wanted a conversation that goes deeper than advice, so I brought on my longtime friend Tanya Colucci, a myofascial release therapist and coach, to talk about what actually helps when “trying harder” isn’t working. If you’ve ever wondered whether stress, trauma, and emotions live in the body, you’ll hear a clear, grounded take on fascia, myofascial release, and why physical symptoms can be tied to protective patterns you didn’t choose. We walk through Tanya’s own turning point: sudden, intense back pain in her twenties that sent her searching beyond conventional approaches. From there we get practical about somatic healing and trauma stored in the body. Tanya explains how fascia responds to life experience, why release can feel emotional even when the touch isn’t painful, and how body-based work can create the lightness and awareness that makes better decisions possible. We also talk openly about where talk therapy can be limited when defenses are locked in the nervous system, and why vulnerability is hard until the body feels safe. Then we shift into the tools that turn insight into action. Tanya shares what she gained from Brown University leadership and performance coaching training and how her coaching approach relies on powerful questions and accountability instead of telling people what to do. We dig into Enneagram assessment reports, blind spots, stress patterns, and growth edges, including how these frameworks can support recovery, PTSD healing, and major life transitions like retirement. If you’re curious about retreats, virtual coaching, or deeper self-awareness work, explore Tanya’s work at Sacred Soul Guidance and follow along for upcoming resources, retreats, and coaching opportunities. If this resonated, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, share it with a friend who’s feeling stuck, and leave a review so more people can find the show. You can also follow Tanya Colucci and learn more about her work through Sacred Soul Guidance. Support the show Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember,  don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection. Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

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About

"Colleen 'Coco' Kowal, LPC" is a student of Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt who created the Imago Theory and have brought this work to over 50 countries around the world. She is profoundly influenced by this belief shared by Dr. Harville Hendrix. He said, "We are born in relationship, wounded in relationship and healed in relationship."What are you struggling with today?  Coco believes that almost any problem we have began with a broken or unhealed relationship. The anxiety or deep sadness we feel often began with unresolved issues in our relationships with our parents, partner, family or friends. When we have unmet needs we are programed to get those needs met. When we don't get what we need we protest by protecting ourselves.  this often looks like defensive, critical,  demanding behaviors. these behaviors are most often ineffective. As a result we may  develop unhealthy relationship with food, sex, gambling our or a substance.  Coco invites world renown relationship specialists from all over the world to help her guests explore their own relationships and see their problems through a relational lens. She will help us explore how to create intimacy to deepen our connections. Her listeners will gain insights to create a more joyful life. "Colleen 'Coco' Kowal, LPC" is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of South Carolina, a certified, Advanced Imago Clinical therapist,  a clinical instructor for the Imago International Trading Institute  while maintaining her clinical practice in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.   Thank you for joining Coco today.  Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. Join her next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.Contact Coco at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!

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