Karin Walker - Family Lawyer - How to leave a Narcissist - the Practical Podcast

Karin Walker
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The term 'Narcissism' has been used increasingly to describe someone who is 'difficult' or 'unpleasant' - who treats other people badly. Narcissism is however a very real condition. Those who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder are very low in empathy and therefore particularly bad at maintaining long term personal relationships. As a consequence, those who work with couples who are separating are much more likely to encounter this particular pattern of behaviour during the work that they do. And it is most definitely  a pattern, which, when properly understood is quite easily identifiable. Once identified it becomes possible to plan a strategy intended to minimise the impact of narcissistic abuse and achieve an outcome based upon informed decisions.Taking the step to leave a toxic, abusive relationship requires a great deal of courage and support. It is vital to understand exactly what you are facing. You need to recognise that a narcissist is not likely to ever change. The only thing you can change is your reaction to their behaviour. Family Lawyer, Karin Walker and her guests, all experts in their field, talk through the various issues you need to consider with numerous practical tips and pointers, providing invaluable help at an extremely difficult time in your life.

  1. JUL 21

    How to deal with resolution of financial matters when separating from a Narcissist

    Send us a text Summoning up the courage to leave a narcissistic is a feat in itself. You may have made several attempts to leave, nervous of being subjected to narcissistic rage and anxious about what the future may hold. Deciding to actually take the step to separate can feel like you have painstakingly reached the summit of a mountain. You may feel an inexplicable sense of relief. But the decision to separate is just the first step. If you have children you need to look at how the arrangements for them will work moving forwards. In all cases you need to deal with resolution of financial matters between you. In this episode I look at how best to approach dealing with financial matters. It is important to remember that a narcissist will never change - the only thing that you can change is your reaction to their behaviour. It is vitally important that you 'pick your battles'. There is sometime a vast difference between what is 'fair' and what is 'achievable'. It is essential that you take legal advice. Resolution of financial matters is an economic exercise. You need to be emotionally in the right place to deal with what may be 'life' choices and be sure that you have proper support (which may be both legal and therapeutic) to deal with what lies ahead of you.

    25 min

  2. JUL 2

    Narcissism in the workplace - a conversation with Clare Chappell

    Send us a text So far in this podcast series we have focussed predominantly on narcissism in the context of personal relationships. But of course you will encounter narcissists in every area of life - and in particular in the workplace. We all spend a significant proportion of our lives at work. If you find yourself the recipient of narcissistic abuse your position may become completely untenable - yet your options may be limited as you are dependent upon your income and it may not be convenient or even possible to change job. And what is the position of the employer in this context? Clare Chappell is an independent employment solicitor and Partner at Carbon Law Partners. With 25 years experience in employment law, Clare guides employers and employees through tricky employment situations to help them get to a better place for themselves or their business.  Over the years Clare has developed an interest in how narcissism and narcissistic traits impact on the workplace and has learned to recognise the signs that employees are being treated unfairly due to particular actions by a narcissistic manager or business owner. Clare works in a holistic way, alongside coaches and other professionals, to help people remove themselves from toxic situations which are detrimental to their long term self esteem and well being.

    34 min

  3. JUN 19

    Arrangements for your children in the midst of narcissistic abuse - an interview with Nick Anderson of 1KBW

    Send us a text Leaving a relationship with a Narcissist can be one of the most difficult and frightening experiences you might endure. Everyone will tell you to 'run away and never look back'. But what happens if you have children? Are they entitled to have a relationship with both their parents? How might that work? Can 'co-parenting' ever be achieved? Or is 'parallel parenting' the only option. Must you necessarily close your mind to what happens to the children when they are with their other parent and focus on the time they spend with you - ensuring that they feel safe and secure, and that 'love' is given unconditionally. Nicholas Anderson of 1 KBW is described by Chambers and Partners 2025 as 'a master tactician, whose experience is undeniable. He has a practice covering all aspects of financial and private law children proceedings, including child abduction. he regularly represents clients in both the financial and children aspects of their cases. Nick has been involved in leading cases in the Court of Appeal and the Supreme Court and regularly appears in High Court financial and children proceedings. Nick specialises in applications to relocate children (within the UK or abroad) and deals with financial proceedings at all levels. He is a qualified arbitrator and mediator, and accepts instructions on a direct access basis, often following a referral from solicitors.

    32 min

  4. JUN 4

    Choosing your lawyer

    Send us a text Once you have taken the enormous step to decide that you want to bring your relationship to an end you need to select the legal representation which is right for you.  Finding the best person (or team) to navigate a path through the inevitable twists and turns that you will face when removing yourself from a relationship with a narcissist is vital. You need someone who understands the pattern of behaviour and who can put forward a strategy that ensures as far as possible that you stay two steps ahead. It is a bit like playing a game of chess - you need to think about your moves in advance, always focussing on the end goal. The wrong person who doesn't understand what they are dealing with could inadvertently make things a lot more difficult - or worse still compound the abuse to which you have already been subjected. In this episode Karin Walker examines the criteria that you will need to consider and provides her 'top tips' to ensure that you find the support and advice that you need.

    12 min

  5. MAY 21

    How to spot a Narcissist - back to basics

    Send us a text In this episode Karin Walker goes right back to basics  and explores the behaviour patterns which are likely to be demonstrated by someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissists and very charming and charismatic. They are expert at luring someone into a relationship with them - often very quickly. They will make you feel like you have found your soulmate. The relationship will often move at a very quick pace and you will feel literally 'swept off your feet'. But then slowly the 'devaluing' phase will begin and they will chip away at your self esteem - the intention being to make you totally dependent upon them. They will try to keep you away from your family and friends so that you become increasingly isolated. they will want you to be completely under their control. It is extremely difficult to break away from a Narcissist as you will have become trauma-bonded to them rather like an addiction. You are desperate for their approval and will be constantly striving to regain the feeling you had when you first met. If any of this sounds familiar this podcast is for you. Or if your relationship doesn't feel right; if you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells - you may want to learn more about the behaviour patterns demonstrated by the Narcissist. Narcissists behave in a very particular way. Once you are able to understand the pattern of behaviour you will be able to predict what they are going to do and how to manage your own response. This podcast will provide you with invaluable tools to protect yourself from narcissistic abuse

    30 min

  6. MAY 7

    Narcissism, Autism and Family Law - a discussion with Kelly Pougher

    Send us a text Kelly Pougher is the Founder and Director of Pougher-Round Solicitors, a bespoke law firm specialising in Family Law and Autism.  With over 20 years' experience in Family Law, Kelly is dedicated to helping neurodivergent families navigate the Family Justice system in a way which is tailored to meet the individual needs of each family.  Kelly is an Autism Advocate, Trainer and Public Speaker, who is passionate about leading the way for change within the Family Justice system. It is not unusual for those who are autistic to be be mis-described as narcissistic - particularly in the arena of separation and divorce -  with alarming and misleading implications. In this episode Kelly explores how this can sometimes be the case. She looks at how to identify whether your client (or the other party) is neurodiverse and the very particular steps which may need to be taken by family law professionals in these circumstances.

    32 min

  7. APR 23

    The impact of domestic abuse - a discussion with Elaine Richardson

    Send us a text If you are in a relationship with a Narcissist it is highly likely that you will be subjected to some form of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse does not only refer to physical abuse but also emotional and financial abuse. The abuser will often seek to present themselves as the 'victim' - attempting to suggest that in fact they have been subjected to abusive behaviour. Elaine Richardson runs her own family law business. She is a certified trauma informed solicitor and lectures regularly on the topic of domestic abuse, providing domestic abuse training to family law practitioners.  Elaine is a hybrid mediator. She supervises and trains other mediators and family lawyers. She is the co-chair of the national dispute resolution committee for Resolution alongside Tristan Harvey. During this discussion with Elaine you will learn how to recognise coercively controlling behaviour and all forms of domestic abuse and the steps which you should consider for your own protection. You will also gain an insight into the effects which trauma can have and the potential long term impact of being in an abusive relationship.

    29 min

  8. APR 9

    How to provide support to your child/relative/friend if they are in a relationship with a Narcissist

    Send us a text Watching someone you care about being subjected to emotional, financial or even physical abuse at the hands of their narcissistic partner/spouse can be heart-breaking and unbearable - particularly if the 'victim' is your child. It is so much easier to recognise the existence of narcissistic abuse when you are on the outside looking in. But when your loved one is caught in the web of narcissistic abuse they are often the last person to realise what the are being subjected to. Trauma bonding can result in you vehemently defending your abuser, failing to recognise that you are caught in a highly toxic and dangerous relationship. When you are trying to provide support this can create friction between yourself and the victim, causing your relationship to be strained. If you want to support your loved one and help them extricate themselves from this abusive relationship it is important that you do not allow yourself the become alienated, particularly as the narcissist will be keen to isolate their partner from any support network, ensuring that they are totally dependent on the narcissist. Handle your loved one with care, helping them to take things at their pace and providing them with support and guidance. Help them to make their own decisions and see through the love bombing to recognise that their partner is someone incapable of unconditional love, in fact incapable of love at all. This podcast will help you provide support without playing into the narcissist's hands and pushing your loved one away as you look on with despair at the toxicity to which they are being subjected. It will help you assess your role and how you can help draw them away from the lure of the narcissist.

    20 min
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About

The term 'Narcissism' has been used increasingly to describe someone who is 'difficult' or 'unpleasant' - who treats other people badly. Narcissism is however a very real condition. Those who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder are very low in empathy and therefore particularly bad at maintaining long term personal relationships. As a consequence, those who work with couples who are separating are much more likely to encounter this particular pattern of behaviour during the work that they do. And it is most definitely  a pattern, which, when properly understood is quite easily identifiable. Once identified it becomes possible to plan a strategy intended to minimise the impact of narcissistic abuse and achieve an outcome based upon informed decisions.Taking the step to leave a toxic, abusive relationship requires a great deal of courage and support. It is vital to understand exactly what you are facing. You need to recognise that a narcissist is not likely to ever change. The only thing you can change is your reaction to their behaviour. Family Lawyer, Karin Walker and her guests, all experts in their field, talk through the various issues you need to consider with numerous practical tips and pointers, providing invaluable help at an extremely difficult time in your life.

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