The Ordinary Family

Coleman and Abby Housefield
  • 5.0 (8)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Bimonthly

Welcome to The Ordinary Family Podcast! Where we celebrate the beauty in everyday family life! Whether you're trying to find time for an uninterrupted conversation with your partner, tackling the mountain of laundry or dishes, trying to keep your children alive, or just trying to figure out what’s for dinner, this is the place where real conversations happen about the highs, lows, and everything in between. This podcast is dedicated to everyone who is trying to make a living, build a strong relationship with your partner, raise good humans, and take care of yourself—because doing all this, some days, feels like more than an ordinary person can do. Our goal is to help you thrive in every area of your life: at home, at work, and in your community. Join your hosts, Coleman (marriage and family coach) and Abby (yoga teacher and homeschool enrichment business owner) as we explore the art of marriage, parenting and navigating life with honesty, humor, and support. We’ll share with you the tools we use, hilarious stories, and all the insights we’ve gained from being married for 15 years, parents for 11 years, and many more years of life and work experience. Have a question or comment to share? We'd love to hear from you! You can send us an email at: ordinaryfamilyshow@gmail.com Here’s where you can find us online: Websites: https://www.colemanhousefield.com/ https://www.thenaturelabschool.com/ Substack: colemanhousefield.substack.com Instagram: abbyhousefield coleman.housefield.coaching colemanhousefield.substack.com

  1. 5d ago

    #55: Your Kids Don’t Need You to Fix It—They Need You to Stay

    As parents, it can be incredibly hard to watch our kids struggle. They forget their homework. They have a friendship conflict. They don’t make the team they wanted. They’re frustrated learning something new. They feel anxious before a performance. They have a difficult coach or teacher. They spend all their allowance and regret it. And sometimes, we know exactly how to make the problem go away. We can email the teacher. Talk to the coach. Make the sandwich. Solve the sibling conflict. Pull them out of the uncomfortable situation. We can rescue them. But what if our job isn’t to remove every obstacle from our child’s path? What if our job is to help them become someone who is capable of navigating those obstacles? That’s the tension we explore in this episode of The Ordinary Family Podcast: supporting our kids versus rescuing them. The difference between support and rescue Rescuing says: I’ll remove the hard thing for you so you don’t have to be uncomfortable. Supporting says: I believe you can handle the hard thing, and I’ll stay beside you while you do. One of the most helpful visuals we discuss is imagining your child holding something heavy over their head. You can’t carry the weight for them. That’s their weight to carry. But you can support their arms. You can help them hold it longer without taking the weight away from them. That’s what good support can look like. Why rescuing is so tempting The hardest part of this isn’t necessarily our child’s discomfort. It’s often our own discomfort watching them experience it. When someone we love is struggling, we feel it. We want to make the pain stop. And because we’re often much more capable than our children, we have the ability to swoop in and fix things. But sometimes what looks like helping our child is actually helping ourselves escape the discomfort of watching them struggle. Our own childhood experiences can make this even more complicated. When we see our kids experiencing something that wounded us, we may feel an almost overwhelming urge to protect them from having the same experience. And sometimes that instinct is right. There are situations where intervention is absolutely necessary—especially when safety is at risk, when a child’s developmental readiness isn’t there, or when the emotional intensity exceeds their ability to cope. The goal isn’t to let our kids struggle alone. The goal is to stay with them without automatically taking the struggle away. Hard things don’t automatically create trauma One of the important distinctions we make in this episode is between experiencing something difficult and experiencing something difficult alone. Kids will encounter difficult people, uncomfortable social situations, failure, disappointment, conflict, and frustration. Our job isn’t necessarily to eliminate all of those experiences. It’s to make sure they know: I’m here. I see you. I believe in you. You aren’t alone. That might mean sitting beside them while they cry. It might mean helping them break a difficult task into smaller steps. It might mean helping them make a plan. It might mean reminding them of a time they successfully navigated something hard before. Or it might mean simply saying, “That sounds really hard. I’m right here.” Confidence comes after the hard thing One of the biggest ideas in this conversation is that confidence and resilience can’t simply be handed to our kids. Love can be a gift. Resilience can’t. Resilience has to be built through trying, failing, recovering, persevering, and discovering, I can do this. The same is true of confidence. Our kids don’t become confident because we constantly tell them they’re capable. They become confident because they experience themselves being capable. That means they have to get some things wrong. They have to experience disappointment. They have to solve problems. They have to recover from mistakes. They have to have uncomfortable conversations. And they have to discover that they can survive hard things. A simple progression for parents When you catch yourself wanting to rescue your child, start here: 1. Regulate yourself.Take a breath and ask: Is this dangerous, or is it simply uncomfortable? Am I responding to their need, or to my own anxiety? 2. Validate without fixing.“That sounds really hard.”“I can see why you’re upset.”“I’m right here.” 3. Ask instead of assuming.“What do you think would help?”“What are your options?”“Do you want comfort, brainstorming, or for me to just listen?” 4. Allow natural consequences.Natural consequences aren’t punishment. They’re opportunities for accountability, learning, and recovery. 5. Stay connected.Supporting your child doesn’t mean leaving them alone to figure everything out. It means staying present without automatically taking over. The sandwich lesson One of our favorite examples from the episode is incredibly ordinary: an eight-year-old who doesn’t want to make his own sandwich. It would have been much easier for Mom to make it. It would have taken thirty seconds. And everyone probably would have had a smoother afternoon. But eventually, he has to learn how to feed himself. So instead of taking over, he was allowed to experience the discomfort of solving the problem himself. Later, when he was ready to learn something new, Dad helped him make tuna—he did about 75% of the work, while Dad supported the remaining 25%. That’s collaborative responsibility. Not: “You do it all yourself.” And not: “I’ll do it for you.” But: “Let’s figure out what you’re capable of, and I’ll support you while you build that capability.” A reflection for this week Think back over the last week or month. * Where did you rescue your child too quickly? * Where did you allow them to struggle and then see them grow? * Where does your child’s struggle activate your own childhood wounds or fears? * Where might you be doing something for your child that you know they’re capable of doing themselves? * What would it look like to support them without taking the weight from them? And perhaps most importantly: Can you trust that your support is enough? The goal isn’t a struggle-free childhood. The goal is for hard things to happen—and for our kids to know they can handle them. Resources mentioned We reference several books and resources throughout the episode: * The Gift of Failure * How to Raise an Adult * Good Inside * The Whole-Brain Child * Simplicity Parenting * Raising Good Humans * The Anxious Generation Thanks for listening to The Ordinary Family Podcast. If this episode resonated with you, share it with another parent who might need the reminder: your child doesn’t need you to fix everything. They need to know you’re there. I highly recommend Coleman to anyone looking for a transformative coaching experience! In just two sessions, I've discovered more about myself than I had after months of cognitive behavioral therapy. Coleman's unique ability to reframe and break down my limiting beliefs and encouragement to embrace the process has allowed me to make actual, palpable progress towards goals I long thought were unattainable.Coleman is empathetic, intuitive and genuine, creating a comfortable and empowering environment for growth and self-discovery. With Coleman's help, I've been able to connect my thoughts to my feelings and illuminate patterns that shape my behaviors. With this clarity, I'm able to approach challenges with a renewed perspective and increased confidence. Can't thank you enough for your guidance. - Emily This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com

    #55: Your Kids Don’t Need You to Fix It—They Need You to Stay

  2. Sep 17

    #54: "Could You Imagine Going Through This Without the Work?" — Megynn & Jonathan Webb on Cancer, Epilepsy, and a Marriage That Held

    Megynn and Jonathan Webb have been married for ten years. In that decade, they’ve moved across the country multiple times, raised four kids eight and under, navigated postpartum depression, watched their youngest daughter get diagnosed with epilepsy at six months old, and last December, received a breast cancer diagnosis for Megynn. By most measures, they’ve been through more than most couples face in a lifetime. And yet — their marriage has never been stronger. In this conversation, Megynn and Jonathan get honest about what it actually took to get there: the hard early years, the expectations that made everything harder than it had to be, the therapy that helped but left Megynn still feeling stuck, and the emotional work through coaching with Coleman that finally changed everything. In this episode, we talk about: * Why Jonathan and Megynn say the seasons of their biggest external crises — epilepsy, cancer — have actually been some of the easiest on their marriage, and what made that possible * The role of faith, shared values, and commitment to something bigger than themselves in anchoring their relationship through a decade of hard * Megynn’s journey through postpartum depression, years of therapy that helped but still left her in a victim mindset, and what finally broke the cycle * How Megynn found coaching — and why the timing felt like more than coincidence * What changed in their home when Megynn starting making space for her kids emotions * Jonathan’s honest reflection on what it was like to live in a house ruled by big emotions — and what it feels like now * Why Megynn stopped measuring her success as a mom by her kids’ behavior — and what she measures instead * The moment in church when a fifty-pound four-year-old slapped Megynn across the face — and what she did instead of what came naturally * What they’d both tell their younger selves about expectations, values, and choosing a partner This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com

    #54: "Could You Imagine Going Through This Without the Work?" — Megynn & Jonathan Webb on Cancer, Epilepsy, and a Marriage That Held

  3. Aug 10

    #53: How Emotional Regulation Works: Live with Ryan Maxwell

    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com

    #53: How Emotional Regulation Works: Live with Ryan Maxwell

  4. Jul 16

    #52: Why We Let Our Kids Witness Death

    There are moments in life that expose what we really believe. For our family, that moment came when we had to say goodbye to our 13½-year-old Labrador, Bross. This episode isn’t only about losing a dog. It’s about grief. It’s about parenting. It’s about what it means to honor commitment when things become inconvenient, painful, and uncertain. And it’s about the question every parent eventually faces: Do we protect our kids from life’s hardest moments—or invite them in? Over the course of three years, we watched Bross slowly lose the ability to do the things he loved. Eventually, he couldn’t stand on his own, couldn’t control his bladder or bowels, and required constant care. We wrestled with impossible questions: * When does compassion become prolonging suffering? * How do you know when it’s “time”? * Should children be part of those decisions? * What does grief actually look like inside a family? There weren’t easy answers. Only the opportunity to live according to our values. In this episode, we talk about: * Why we chose to involve our kids in every step of Bross’ final season. * The emotional weight of making life-and-death decisions. * Why we believe modern families are often disconnected from death—and how that affects us. * The surprising ways grief showed up differently in each member of our family. * The temptation to rush past pain instead of allowing ourselves to fully experience it. * How emotional regulation tools helped us navigate one of the hardest experiences we’ve faced together. * Why holding space for someone else’s grief can be just as exhausting as carrying your own. * The difference between protecting our children and preparing them for life. One lesson that changed us One realization kept surfacing throughout this journey: Grief isn’t something to fix. It’s something to experience. Our culture often tells us to move on quickly. Find the silver lining. Stay strong. Get back to normal. But healing didn’t come from convincing ourselves we’d made the perfect decision. It came from allowing ourselves to ask difficult questions. From crying. From doubting. From sitting together in silence. From letting every member of our family grieve in their own way, without trying to make it better. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do—for ourselves and for the people we care about—is simply make space. A question for you Is there something in your life you’re trying to “get over” instead of allowing yourself to feel? Maybe it’s the loss of a loved one. A relationship. A job. A dream. Or maybe you’re carrying grief that no one else even knows about. What would happen if, instead of rushing yourself through it, you gave yourself permission to simply be where you are? Our encouragement There is no perfect way to grieve. There is no perfect way to navigate loss. But there is tremendous growth available when we’re willing to stay present with the hard things instead of outsourcing them or escaping them. The deepest parts of being human aren’t found by avoiding pain. They’re found by walking through it—with honesty, courage, and people who are willing to sit beside us. If this conversation resonates with you, we’d love to hear your story. Leave a comment wherever you’re listening. You never know who needs the reminder that they’re not grieving alone. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com

    #52: Why We Let Our Kids Witness Death

  5. Jun 25

    #51: "We Don't Do Parallel Lives" — How Ben & Shauna Weaver Choose Their Marriage Every Day

    Ben and Shauna Weaver got married six months before COVID hit — and found out they were pregnant the same month the world shut down. What followed was a crash course in marriage, parenthood, and faith that neither of them saw coming. Ben spent fifteen years in vocational ministry before becoming an entrepreneur and men’s coach. Shauna is a mental health therapist and writer behind the Substack Upside Down Motherhood. Together, they’re two intense, independent people who made a decision early on: they would never sleepwalk through their marriage. In this episode, they get honest about what it actually looks like to keep choosing each other — through career changes, a black mold crisis, and the daily friction of two capable, strong-willed people sharing a life. We cover: * Why the pandemic ended up being one of the sweetest seasons of their marriage * The daily and weekly rhythms keeping them genuinely connected * Navigating two intense personalities without resenting your differences * The “orphan mentality” — living like God is absent even when you say you believe He’s not * Three real-time parenting frameworks: attachment, polyvagal theory, and body budgeting * What they’d tell their younger selves about marriage and parenthood Find Ben & Shauna:Shauna’s Substack: Upside Down MotherhoodBen’s YouTube: Life in the Bigger Story (@biggerstory) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com

    #51: "We Don't Do Parallel Lives" — How Ben & Shauna Weaver Choose Their Marriage Every Day

  6. Jun 4

    #50: Covenant, Not Commitment: How the Clapp Family Built a Marriage Worth Staying In

    What does intentional family life actually look like after 32 years of marriage, six kids, two international adoptions, and a whole lot of earned wisdom? In this episode, we sit down with Rick and Laura Clapp — coaches, parents, and longtime mentors to the Housefield family — for one of the most substantive conversations yet on the podcast. Rick is a faith-driven executive coach and strategic retreat leader. Laura is an assessment coach who spent years as a full-time mom before channeling her seminary training and life experience into coaching individuals and couples. Together, they’ve built a family and a marriage that is honest, intentional, and deeply rooted — and they hold nothing back here. They open up about what it took to keep their marriage strong through the chaos of six kids under ten, how they navigated two adoptions from Eswatini, Africa, and why the teenage years nearly broke Laura’s perfectly structured systems — in the best possible way. They get into the real differences between a commitment and a covenant, why laughter has been one of their most underrated marriage tools, and what it felt like when their adult kids came back with feedback they didn’t ask for but needed to hear. If you’re a parent who’s ever thought I know I’m going to hear about this someday, or a spouse who’s wondered whether you’re actually building something that will last — this one is for you. One of our favorite quotes from the interview was this (regarding parenting): You can plant and water but you don’t control the fruit. In this episode: * Why Rick and Laura agreed early on to remove the “eject button” from their marriage — and what that covenant actually looks like in hard seasons * How Laura thrived with toddlers and nearly tapped out with teenagers (and what changed) * The color-coded plate system, the laminated chore charts, and the senior year “living allowance” — practical family systems that actually scaled across six kids * Rick’s three tools for getting out of the “Valley of Suck” after hard parenting moments * What 32 years of pursuing their kids — and each other — has taught them about control, grace, and letting go * Why parenting is not a formula, and what it looks like to trust the process even when you can’t see the fruit yet If you’re curious to learn more about Rick and Laura’s coaching and family you can head over to this website → http://beyondsurvival.org You can also find Rick on Linkedin → Rick On Linkedin Have a question or comment to share? We would love to hear from you!You can send us an email at:ordinaryfamilyshow@gmail.com Here’s where you can find us online: Websites: https://www.colemanhousefield.com/ https://www.thenaturelabschool.com/ Substack:colemanhousefield.substack.com Instagram:abbyhousefieldcoleman.housefield.coaching This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com

    #50: Covenant, Not Commitment: How the Clapp Family Built a Marriage Worth Staying In

  7. May 21

    #49: The Check-In: One Simple Habit That Keeps the Geary Marriage Connected

    What does a thriving marriage actually look like after 16 years, two adopted daughters, and lots of travel? In this episode, Coleman and Abby sit down with Tommy and Brenda Geary — coaches, adventurers, and parents of two — for one of the most honest and warm conversations we’ve had on the show. Tommy is a men’s life coach and adventure guide, and Brenda works in health and wellness at a university. Together, they’ve built a life that looks a little different from most: no living room furniture, no TV, a woods trail behind their house, and a marriage they both genuinely want to be in. They open up about what it was really like to discover they couldn’t have biological children, how four months of travel in Central America shaped their relationship, and why parenting — not marriage — turned out to be the harder road. They also get into the adoption-specific challenges most parenting books don’t cover, how Dr. Becky Kennedy’s work completely changed the way they show up for their strong-willed eight-year-old, and the simple five-minute check-in practice that keeps them connected even when life gets loud. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing marriage or parenting differently than everyone around you — and wondered if that’s okay — this episode is for you. In this episode: * The “check-in” practice Tommy uses with couples and why Brenda is usually the one to ask for it * Why both Tommy and Brenda say marriage has been the easy part * What adoption taught them about grief, big emotions, and holding two truths at once * How they keep play alive between backpacking trips and bedtime shark games * What they’d each tell their younger selves about marriage and parenting If you’re curious to learn more about Tommy’s coaching and awesome adventure trips you can head over to this website → https://www.tommygcoaching.com/ Have a question or comment to share? We would love to hear from you!You can send us an email at:ordinaryfamilyshow@gmail.com Here’s where you can find us online: Websites: https://www.colemanhousefield.com/ https://www.thenaturelabschool.com/ Substack:colemanhousefield.substack.com Instagram:abbyhousefieldcoleman.housefield.coaching This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com

    #49: The Check-In: One Simple Habit That Keeps the Geary Marriage Connected

  8. Apr 30

    #48: Stop Waiting for the Weekend: How to Recharge in the Micro Moments

    These micro moves can turn your depleted days into energized ones—plus a surprising insight into self-care. It’s not about trying to cram more productivity into every hour; it’s about understanding where our energy actually goes—and how to create more of it. The core insight? We can minimize our drains, but we’ll never fully eliminate them (and you don’t want to, trust me). Instead, the real magic is in managing our energy by adding micro gains—tiny, strategic moments that refill our tank before it hits zero. In this episode, we talk about three camps people fall into when it comes to energy management: those who don’t know what energizes them, those who only associate gains with big, time-consuming acts, and those who mistake entertainment or indulgence for recovery—like binge-watching TV or doom-scrolling. We give you the key to recognizing the difference between relief and recovery. Relief is numbing pain temporarily, but recovery restores us physically, emotionally, and mentally. And here’s something that might surprise you: the most effective gains don’t have to cost a thing. A ten-minute walk, a slow kitchen prep, a focused conversation with someone you love—these micro-moves matter more than we think. They help us stay connected, grounded, and resilient throughout our week. What’s vital, though, is becoming self-aware. Do we know what drains us, or are we just reacting to obligation, culture, or comparison? For example, Abby shared how she realized late-night social media browsing only made her feel more scattered. Once we can name these things, we can start to intentionally design our days, adding short, restorative micro gains and managing inevitable drains. It’s also about language—learning to dig a little deeper than “I feel tired” or “I’m overwhelmed.” Are you overstimulated? Mentally cluttered? Bored? Sometimes, a simple shift in words exposes what our body and mind are actually asking for—movement, rest, or connection. Self-awareness, frankly, is the secret to living intentionally without burning out. Because when we operate from a place of energy—rather than depletion—we show up better for those who matter most in our lives. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of overhaul, start small. Look at your schedule—what’s draining you most? What micro gains can you build in? And plan ahead—if you know a big drain is coming, like a tough meeting or social event, prep yourself with some refueling points. Your body knows what it needs. Your job is to listen, name, and honor it. We wouldd love to hear—what micro gains are you planning to add this week? Or which drain are you working to manage better? Have a great weekend! Coleman + Abby Have a question or comment to share? We would love to hear from you!You can send us an email at:ordinaryfamilyshow@gmail.com Here’s where you can find us online: Websites: https://www.colemanhousefield.com/ https://www.thenaturelabschool.com/ Substack:colemanhousefield.substack.com Instagram:abbyhousefieldcoleman.housefield.coaching This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit colemanhousefield.substack.com

    #48: Stop Waiting for the Weekend: How to Recharge in the Micro Moments
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About

Welcome to The Ordinary Family Podcast! Where we celebrate the beauty in everyday family life! Whether you're trying to find time for an uninterrupted conversation with your partner, tackling the mountain of laundry or dishes, trying to keep your children alive, or just trying to figure out what’s for dinner, this is the place where real conversations happen about the highs, lows, and everything in between. This podcast is dedicated to everyone who is trying to make a living, build a strong relationship with your partner, raise good humans, and take care of yourself—because doing all this, some days, feels like more than an ordinary person can do. Our goal is to help you thrive in every area of your life: at home, at work, and in your community. Join your hosts, Coleman (marriage and family coach) and Abby (yoga teacher and homeschool enrichment business owner) as we explore the art of marriage, parenting and navigating life with honesty, humor, and support. We’ll share with you the tools we use, hilarious stories, and all the insights we’ve gained from being married for 15 years, parents for 11 years, and many more years of life and work experience. Have a question or comment to share? We'd love to hear from you! You can send us an email at: ordinaryfamilyshow@gmail.com Here’s where you can find us online: Websites: https://www.colemanhousefield.com/ https://www.thenaturelabschool.com/ Substack: colemanhousefield.substack.com Instagram: abbyhousefield coleman.housefield.coaching colemanhousefield.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    Coleman and Abby Housefield
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    56
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Coleman Housefield
  • Show Website
    The Ordinary Family