In this episode, host Ashley Blackington sits down with Caroline Benefield—digital marketer, stepparent, and someone who found herself living a decade of life in 18 months. Caroline shares what it really means to become the third parent in a blended family, how she navigated losing both parents while building a new family dynamic, and what happens when your dream job turns out not to be your dream. Between January 2022 and June 2023, Caroline got engaged, bought a house, moved in with her fiancé and his two kids, lost both parents, managed two estates as an only child, canceled her wedding, got married on her back porch, left corporate life, wrote a romance series, and started a digital marketing business. Through it all, she's been learning how to show up as a secure, trusted adult in her stepkids' lives—with boundaries, intention, and a lot of therapy. In This Episode -What it means to be "the third parent" in a blended family—not the replacement, not the villain, but an additional secure adult -Why Caroline's approach is about enhancing existing support rather than reinventing the wheel -How she and her husband decided which parenting responsibilities she'd take on—and which ones stay with the biological parents -The importance of moving into a new house together rather than slotting into an existing family home -Navigating grief while building a new family—losing her father after a decade-long decline and her mother suddenly within 18 months -Estate planning lessons: why her mom's organized estate closed in 9 months while her dad's is still open after 4 years -What happens when your dream job (becoming a romance author) turns out not to be your dream -Why she started a digital marketing business specifically for moms and women—the people shortest on time with the most to give -The fiber arts connection: how teaching the kids to crochet and needlepoint became a way to share something her own mom taught her Key Quotes "My job as a stepparent is not to reinvent the wheel in their lives. My job is to come in and give them extra support and resources to navigate all of the complications and emotions that come with little bodies and little brains." — Caroline Benefield "If you are not married to your partner and you don't intend to be, please, please set them up for success. Please set everything up." — Caroline Benefield on estate planning Resources & Links Caroline's website: southerngritdigital.com Services: Digital marketing for creatives, entrepreneurs, moms, and women (email marketing, compliance audits, digital ads, full-service packages) Action Steps for Listeners 1. If you're dating someone with kids: Ask yourself if you can be a safe and secure adult in their lives. That's the starting point. 2. If you're in a blended family: Have clear conversations about boundaries and responsibilities before integration gets messy. Who handles discipline? What decisions require both biological parents? 3. Estate planning reminder: Set up rights of survivorship, trusts, and clear documentation. Even if you have a will, it's not enough if things have to go through probate. 4. If you're a long-term partner but not married: Make sure you're set up legally. Your partner's kids will be next of kin, not you, unless paperwork says otherwise. 5. Therapy isn't optional: Caroline, her husband, and their relationship all have their own therapy. It's how they navigate the hard stuff. 6. For moms and women entrepreneurs: If you're at the point where you know you need marketing help but don't know where to start, visit southerngritdigital.com. Connect with Ashley: Website: https://www.ashleyblackington.com Podcast website: https://www.andbothpodcast.com/ Dovetail® App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dovetail-app/id6744341822 Instagram: @mydovetail.app LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyblackington/
