The Divorce Decision Podcast

Kari Hoskins
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If you’re contemplating divorce, wondering whether your marriage can be rebuilt, or trying to make a clear decision without acting out of panic, fear, guilt, or pressure, this podcast is for you. The Divorce Decision Podcast is for people in unhappy, uncertain, or emotionally painful marriages who are asking one of the hardest questions of their lives: Should I stay, or should I go? Hosted by Kari Hoskins, a professionally certified relationship coach with a Master’s Degree in Communication and Interpersonal Communication, this podcast takes an honest, balanced look at the real dynamics behind divorce decisions. We talk about the marriage patterns, communication breakdowns, emotional disconnection, conflict cycles, resentment, trust issues, infidelity, and unresolved pain that lead couples to this crossroads. You’ll hear conversations about:  how couples get here  what rebuilding a marriage actually looks like  what separation and divorce can look like  how to communicate when everything feels fragile  how to make a thoughtful, clear, regret-aware decision  What makes this podcast different is simple: there is no agenda here. No pushing you to leave. No pressuring you to stay.  Because the truth is: leaving is scary, and staying is scary. This podcast is here to help you slow down, understand what’s really happening in your relationship, and make one of the most painful and important decisions of your life with more clarity, honesty, and self-trust. Kari has advanced training in couples coaching, trauma, relational coaching, conflict, infidelity, PTSD, and addiction, offering compassionate, grounded support for people facing the heartbreak, confusion, and complexity of relationship crossroads. If you are struggling in your marriage, questioning divorce, or trying to figure out whether repair is possible, The Divorce Decision Podcast will give you practical insight, emotional clarity, and a more balanced conversation about staying, leaving, and everything in between.    

  1. 4D AGO

    Ep. 46 Before You Say The Word Divorce: How to Tell Your Spouse You’re Unhappy

    Have you been secretly unhappy in your marriage but unsure how to tell your spouse? In this episode of The Divorce Decision Podcast, Kari Hoskins talks to the spouse who has been carrying private pain, resentment, loneliness, or discontent for months—or even years—without knowing when or how to finally say it out loud. Before you say divorce, there may be an honest conversation that needs to happen first. Kari explains why private unhappiness becomes so emotionally exhausting, how unresolved issues create “open loops” in a marriage. You’ll learn how to recognize when it may be time to share your unhappiness, how to begin the conversation in a more productive way, and what questions to reflect on before you talk with your husband or wife. If you feel lonely in your marriage, tired of pretending everything is fine, or afraid that one conversation could change everything, this episode will help you find language for what you’ve been carrying—and take the first step toward clarity. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karihoskinscoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kari.lifecoaching/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4A7XJcQEYfTh3E43IIw7Bg/about Website: https://www.karihoskinscoaching.com

    17 min

  2. APR 23

    Ep. 45 Are You Unhappy In Your Marriage? The Subconscious Thought Pattern Making It Worse

    Do relatively small things that your spouse does or says create big feelings inside of you?  Is it normal for you to feel upset, angry, annoyed  or some other negative emotion towards your spouse regularly? If you answered "yes" to either of these questions, you might have fallen victim to this subconscious thought pattern making your daily life feel worse.   In this episode of The Divorce Decision Podcast, Kari Hoskins unpacks one of the most powerful mental traps affecting unhappy marriages and divorce decisions: confirmation bias. When you’re hurt, resentful, lonely, or stuck in limbo, it becomes easy to interpret everything your spouse says and does through an already painful story: They don’t care. Nothing will ever change. I’m the only one trying. We’re too far gone. But that lens can distort what’s actually happening in your marriage and quietly shape how you feel, how you react, and whether you lean toward rebuilding or divorce.  Kari breaks down how confirmation bias works in struggling relationships, how it can make living under the same roof feel even more miserable, and how it can push people toward divorce too fast — or keep them hanging on to hope too long. Through real-life coaching examples, she shows how this subconscious pattern can fuel conflict, cloud clarity, and interfere with honest decision-making.  If you’re questioning your marriage, feeling stuck in uncertainty, or trying to decide whether to stay or leave, this episode will help you take a more honest look at the story you’re telling yourself — and the evidence you may be ignoring.  In this episode:  What confirmation bias is and how it shows up in marriage  Why small things start to feel huge in unhappy relationships  How negative and positive bias can both cloud the truth  Why confirmation bias can distort a divorce decision in either direction  Two powerful questions to help you think more clearly about your marriageInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/karihoskinscoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kari.lifecoaching/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4A7XJcQEYfTh3E43IIw7Bg/about Website: https://www.karihoskinscoaching.com

    17 min

  3. APR 16

    Ep. 44 Three Ways Justifying Your Divorce Decision Messes With Your Clarity

    In this episode of The Divorce Decision Podcast, I talk about a common struggle people face when they’re trying to decide whether to stay in a marriage or leave: the pressure to justify their decision to other people. I explain why that pressure can be so damaging to your clarity, especially when family or friends want answers, have opinions, or expect your choice to make sense to them.  I also share two situations where this tends to hit hardest: when you’ve kept your marriage problems private, and when something major like infidelity or addiction is involved and everyone suddenly has strong opinions about what you should do.  I break down how over-explaining can create self-doubt, cause you to exaggerate or minimize what is really happening in the relationship, and keep you from making an honest, grounded decision. I also talk about why it matters to stay clear-eyed about your own patterns and your role in the marriage, whether you stay or leave. Finally, I share practical, neutral ways to respond when people ask why you’re staying or why you’re leaving, so you can answer with honesty without feeling like you have to defend your life.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karihoskinscoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kari.lifecoaching/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4A7XJcQEYfTh3E43IIw7Bg/about Website: https://www.karihoskinscoaching.com

    17 min

  4. MAR 24

    Ep. 43 Loneliness- The Invisible Marriage Struggle No one Talks About

    In this episode, I tackle one of the most painful and often invisible relationship struggles: feeling lonely in your marriage. And I’m not just talking about being physically alone. I’m talking about feeling emotionally disconnected, unseen, unheard, and like you’re living life next to your partner instead of with them. I break down how loneliness in a marriage happens over time, often through small patterns that slowly create distance: unresolved conflict, lack of meaningful communication, mismatched emotional needs, stress that gets internalized, and spending time together without truly connecting. I also share personal insight from my own past marriage and talk about why this kind of disconnection is far more common than many couples realize. In this episode, we look at why loneliness in a relationship should never be brushed off as “not that serious,” and how emotional distance can eventually lead to resentment, loss of intimacy, separate lives, and sometimes separation or divorce. I also walk through four key areas of intimacy that help us feel connected again: emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, shared experiences, and physical affection. Whether you’re the partner feeling alone or you’re the one hearing that your spouse feels disconnected, this episode will help you better understand what’s missing, why it matters, and one small place to start. Because loneliness in a marriage does not fix itself, and ignoring it is where the real trouble begins. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karihoskinscoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kari.lifecoaching/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4A7XJcQEYfTh3E43IIw7Bg/about Website: https://www.karihoskinscoaching.com

    22 min

  5. MAR 10

    Ep. 42 3 Sneaky Signs Your Relationship Is Taking A Toll On You

    Is your relationship affecting you more than you realize? In this episode of Lucky in Love, I break down 3 sneaky signs your relationship is taking a toll on you—mentally, emotionally, and even physically. If you feel tense when your spouse walks into the room, notice that your patience for everyone else is getting shorter, or find yourself daydreaming more about being alone than reconnecting, this episode is for you.  These subtle signs of relationship stress, marriage burnout, and emotional disconnection often get brushed off, but they can be powerful clues that your unhappy relationship is impacting your health and well-being. I share why chronic stress in a marriage can show up in your body, how emotional strain affects your daily life, and why getting support—whether from a trusted friend, therapist, or relationship coach—can help you feel clearer, calmer, and grounded. If you’re questioning your relationship, feeling stuck in an unhappy marriage, or wondering whether your relationship is hurting your health, this conversation will give you insight and next steps. In this episode, we cover: signs your relationship is taking a toll on youunhappy marriage symptomschronic stress and relationship healthsigns your marriage is affecting your healthdifferent types of help for relationship problems For coaching support, visit kahoskins.com Follow Kari on social: @KariHoskinsCoachingYou can click on the links below Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karihoskinscoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kari.lifecoaching/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4A7XJcQEYfTh3E43IIw7Bg/about Website: https://www.karihoskinscoaching.com

    13 min

  6. MAR 3

    Ep. 41 Want To Stop Feeling Resentful In Your Marriage? (Use the 3% Rule)

    In this episode, I'm breaking down a deceptively simple tool that can change the emotional temperature of your marriage fast: the 3% Rule.  If your partner is “97% responsible” for what’s wrong, where is your 3%—the part you can own, influence, and change? This isn’t about taking the blame or excusing bad behavior. It’s about taking responsibility in a relationship in a way that reduces resentment, lowers defensiveness, and gives you real agency instead of staying stuck in the blame game. I share how I learned this concept (inspired by Katherine Woodward Thomas and the work of Unconscious Uncoupling) after my first marriage ended—and how it helped me let go of lingering anger, regret, and bitterness so she could show up better as a co-parent and in other relationships. What you’ll learn: What the 3% Rule is (and why it’s not self-blame—it’s leverage)How the 3% Rule creates emotional peace by reducing resentment, blame, defensiveness, and regretThe biggest clue you’re stuck in the blame game (“they, they, they…” thinking) and what to do insteadHow to identify your recurring negative thoughts, triggers, and patterns to find your 3%What your 3% can look like in common dynamics:Feeling controlled → speaking up, setting and holding boundariesDealing with lies/omissions → creating emotional safety so honesty is possibleFeeling consistently let down → turning unspoken expectations into clear agreementsWhy vague requests (“I need more help”) don’t work—and how to make specific, actionable asksHow to stop ignoring the data when your partner has a track record (late, avoidant, forgetful) and respond with boundaries and/or supportThe “missing step” that keeps couples stuck: not closing the loop with a clear “next time” planA real-life example of how the 3% Rule can shift intimacy issues, desire, and disconnection in a marriageInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/karihoskinscoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kari.lifecoaching/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4A7XJcQEYfTh3E43IIw7Bg/about Website: https://www.karihoskinscoaching.com

    19 min

  7. FEB 17

    Episode 40 3 Everyday Habits That Quietly Kill Desire

    In this episode, Lucky in Love, I’m breaking down how sex quietly turns into a chore in long-term relationships—and how to start fixing it fast.  If you’re in a dead bedroom, a sexless marriage (or nearly sexless relationship), or struggling with mismatched sex drives (a desire discrepancy), this episode will help you understand why your sexual desire may be fading—and what to do to fix a dead bedroom by changing a few everyday habits that kill desire. When sex turns into a checkbox, your brain starts treating it like work—something you power through, avoid, or resent—making it harder to want sex and harder to get turned on. I help you understand why these everyday habits: Sex only at bedtime, initiating sex out of nowhere, quickies only are quietly killing your desire and I offer practical fixes that will help you rekindle desire.  If you want to rebuild intimacy, rekindle attraction, and make sex feel connected again, these small habit shifts can restart the desire loop. Kari Hoskins is a Communication & Conflict Specialist who helps couples stuck in the pain of uncertainty over the future of their relationship. She holds a Master’s degree in Communication & Interpersonal Relationships, spent 20+ years as a college professor, and is a certified relationship coach with specialized training in emotional intimacy, trauma, infidelity, and addiction. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karihoskinscoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kari.lifecoaching/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4A7XJcQEYfTh3E43IIw7Bg/about Website: https://www.karihoskinscoaching.com

    14 min

  8. FEB 10

    Episode 39: Three Passive Aggressive Behaviors That Push Your Partner Away

    In this episode of Lucky in Love, we’re talking about the sneaky relationship habit that quietly pulls couples apart: passive-aggressive behavior.  Not the “big blow-up” fights—more like the slow drip of little moments that leave your partner feeling tense, guarded, and emotionally unsafe over time. And the worst part? A lot of us don’t even realize we’re doing it… or how much it changes the way our partner feels about us. I break down why passive aggression is so damaging: it keeps you from dealing with the real issue directly, and it creates a constant low-grade “hum” of stress in the relationship. Every sarcastic jab, cold shoulder, or “fine, I’ll do it” moment might seem small—but those little pull-backs add up. Eventually, your partner starts bracing for you instead of relaxing with you. That shift is subtle, but it’s a big deal. Then I walk you through three common passive-aggressive behaviors that show up in long-term relationships—especially for couples who are “functioning” on the outside but feel disconnected behind the scenes. We’ll talk about what these behaviors look like in real life, why people use them (hint: it’s often self-protection or punishment), and how to interrupt the pattern before it becomes your relationship’s default setting. Most importantly, you’ll learn what to do instead— how to handle everyday annoyances in a way that builds trust instead of slowly burning it down. If you’ve ever thought, “We’re not terrible… but we’re not close,” this episode will hit home. Listen in, and then pick one small change you can practice this week—because the little things don’t just add up in the negative direction. They can add up toward reconnection, too. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karihoskinscoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kari.lifecoaching/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4A7XJcQEYfTh3E43IIw7Bg/about Website: https://www.karihoskinscoaching.com

    18 min
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5
out of 5
10 Ratings

About

If you’re contemplating divorce, wondering whether your marriage can be rebuilt, or trying to make a clear decision without acting out of panic, fear, guilt, or pressure, this podcast is for you. The Divorce Decision Podcast is for people in unhappy, uncertain, or emotionally painful marriages who are asking one of the hardest questions of their lives: Should I stay, or should I go? Hosted by Kari Hoskins, a professionally certified relationship coach with a Master’s Degree in Communication and Interpersonal Communication, this podcast takes an honest, balanced look at the real dynamics behind divorce decisions. We talk about the marriage patterns, communication breakdowns, emotional disconnection, conflict cycles, resentment, trust issues, infidelity, and unresolved pain that lead couples to this crossroads. You’ll hear conversations about:  how couples get here  what rebuilding a marriage actually looks like  what separation and divorce can look like  how to communicate when everything feels fragile  how to make a thoughtful, clear, regret-aware decision  What makes this podcast different is simple: there is no agenda here. No pushing you to leave. No pressuring you to stay.  Because the truth is: leaving is scary, and staying is scary. This podcast is here to help you slow down, understand what’s really happening in your relationship, and make one of the most painful and important decisions of your life with more clarity, honesty, and self-trust. Kari has advanced training in couples coaching, trauma, relational coaching, conflict, infidelity, PTSD, and addiction, offering compassionate, grounded support for people facing the heartbreak, confusion, and complexity of relationship crossroads. If you are struggling in your marriage, questioning divorce, or trying to figure out whether repair is possible, The Divorce Decision Podcast will give you practical insight, emotional clarity, and a more balanced conversation about staying, leaving, and everything in between.    

Information

  • Creator
    Kari Hoskins
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    47
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Divorce Decision Podcast
  • Show Website
    The Divorce Decision Podcast