Sex and The One

Kris Vallay and Bianca El
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Sex and the One sees Kris (aka KV) and Bianca (aka B) get personal with all topics related to sex, dating and relationships. KV wrote a book about being a single mother of 4 adult children, having sex and looking for 'The One'. B is very happily married with 3 young daughters. Our unique and diverse views make for some spicy chats that will get you thinking about your own life. www.sexandtheone.com https://www.instagram.com/sexandtheone_podcast?igsh=cThrNDZ2c3Nrbm1i&utm_source=qr

  1. 1D AGO

    Cuddle Therapy: Scam or Science? & Why Couples Split in Their 50s (Sex & The One)

    In this episode of Sex & The One, KV & B get into the real conversation: cuddle therapy (what it is, why it’s trending, and whether it’s genuinely helpful or just “therapy” dressed up with a new name). We also dive into a topic that hits hard: why more couples are separating later in life, especially once the kids are grown and the “then what?” era begins. From touch starvation and nervous system regulation to identity shifts in motherhood and the changing expectations of modern relationships… this one is honest, funny, and a little bit confronting. In this episode: - What cuddle therapy actually is (and why the word “therapy” is controversial) - The science of touch: oxytocin, cortisol, nervous system regulation - Would you ever pay for a cuddle? - “Who am I now?”, identity after kids and long relationships - Why women are choosing joy over staying stuck - Is “forever” the right goal… or just a story we were sold? 🎧 Listen now, and tell us: Would you pay for a cuddle, yes or no?

    31 min

  2. FEB 9

    Have Women Outgrown Men? The Dating Gap No One Wants to Talk About | Sex and the One Podcast

    In this episode of Sex and the One, KV & B unpack a viral TikTok statement that hit a nerve: “Exceptional women are single because women have evolved faster than men.” From the dating app experience (and why it’s feeling worse than ever) to modern relationship expectations, we talk about the widening gap in emotional intelligence, effort, safety, and what “being the provider” even means now. We also get real about the double standard: why so many women give endless empathy to women… but feel a guttural “do better” reaction towards men. And then we flip it—because good men absolutely exist, and resentment can quietly become a filter that blocks them. This one’s honest, funny, a bit spicy, and deeply relatable if you’re single, dating, married, partnered, or simply watching the culture shift in real time. In this episode, we cover: - The “women evolved faster than men” debate - Why dating apps feel cooked (and expensive) - Men’s fear of rejection vs women’s safety planning - Why women’s standards rise when they build a peaceful life - The “competing with her peace” problem - Are expectations too high (for everyone)? - How to spot the good ones (without ignoring red flags) 👇 Question for you: Do you think the gap is real… or are we all just traumatised by the apps? Listen/Watch next: New episode every week. Subscribe for more conversations on love, sex, dating and relationships. #SexAndTheOne #Dating #Relationships #ModernDating #DatingApps #SingleWomen

    21 min

  3. FEB 2

    20 Brutally Honest Lessons About Married Sex (That Men Need to Hear)

    In this episode of Sex and the One, KV & B get into the real mechanics of desire in long-term relationships, inspired by an article from Andy Ziegler (“what I learned about married sex in 2025”). We unpack the spicy parts, the controversial parts, and the parts that honestly should not need saying out loud… yet here we are 😅 We chat about: - “Your wife wants to want you”, why desire is often about conditions, not rejection - The mental load, open tabs, and why intimacy can feel impossible when life is loud - Why “who initiates” isn’t the point (and how keeping score kills desire) - The truth: wives have fantasies too, and why shame keeps women quiet - Why women “read porn” (and what men miss because of it) - The hot take: improve the sex first, and the relationship follows - Taking the reins vs. actually caring about your partner’s needs (big difference) - Our scepticism around men telling men “what women want” (ask a woman, babe) If you’re in a long-term relationship, married, dating, or just fascinated by how desire actually works in the real world, this one’s for you. Subscribe for weekly episodes on sex, love, dating, and relationships, and hit the bell so you don’t miss the spicy ones. 💋

    25 min

  4. JAN 26

    Low-Effort Men, Married Men & The “Single Girl” Blame Game | Sex and the One Podcast

    Welcome back to Sex & the One, the podcast where we get down and dirty about love, life, sex, dating & relationships (and the taboo topics everyone thinks about, but no one wants to say out loud). In this episode, we unpack a story that honestly made us rage: a single woman at a New Year’s event, a married man crossing the line, and the gross reality that women still end up blaming themselves for men’s behaviour. Then we go deeper into the question so many of us avoid like: - Why do we feel pulled toward emotionally unavailable people, even when we “know better”? - The idea that attraction isn’t logic… It’s a nervous system response, and why “familiar” can feel safer than healthy (even when it’s chaos). Plus: the public cheating scandal conversation, when does a personal mistake become a professional consequence? Should it impact someone’s role, reputation, or leadership? In this episode: - The “single girl” blame game (and why it’s BS) - Married men flirting & why it’s so normalised - Emotional unavailability & low-effort relationships - “The Pattern No One Wants To Name” (and why it keeps repeating) - Attraction, sensation, safety & the nervous system Cheating, integrity & whether it should affect careers 🎧 Listen / watch Sex & the One on YouTube & Spotify 💬 Question for you: Is attraction a choice… or a trauma pattern? And should cheating impact someone’s job? #SexAndTheOne #DatingPodcast #Relationships #ModernDating #Cheating #EmotionalAvailability #AttachmentStyles #WomensStories #LoveAndRelationships #SexPodcast

    31 min
  5. PART TWO! Meet a real-life Sugar Baby: Stigma, Safety, Shame & What Men Really Want

    JAN 19

    PART TWO! Meet a real-life Sugar Baby: Stigma, Safety, Shame & What Men Really Want

    Kate Kennedy from the Make Them Pay podcast is BACK for Part 2, because Part 1 was so good we weren’t done. 😮‍💨 This episode goes deeper into the stuff people don’t say out loud: the stigma that puts sex workers at risk, how shame gets weaponised, what it’s like to “come out” publicly, and why allyship matters (especially for people outside the industry). We also talk about the “Wild Wild West” of sugar sites, the most surreal moments Kate’s experienced, and one of the most important takeaways of the whole conversation: what men are actually paying for (hint: it’s not perfect lingerie or porn-star performances). In this episode, we cover: - How stigma shapes safety for sex workers (and why it’s the biggest danger) - Shame, secrecy, and what happens when you stop hiding - Why these conversations matter for people outside the industry - The “Wild Wild West” of sugar sites + the craziest stories Kate can share - Why men “outsource” intimacy, and what they really want - Kate’s advice to women: stop comparing, start connecting, bring back validation + closeness - Where Kate’s heading next with Make Them Pay Follow Kate: @makethempay_ Check out her podcast: Make Them Pay #sexandtheone #makethempay #podcast #sexwork #relationships #dating #intimacy #women

    26 min
  6. Being a Sugar Baby 101 with Kate Kennedy. Allowances, Boundaries & The Truth About “Sugaring”

    JAN 12

    Being a Sugar Baby 101 with Kate Kennedy. Allowances, Boundaries & The Truth About “Sugaring”

    Kate Kennedy from the Make Them Pay podcast joins Sex and the One for Part 1, and we get real about what “sugaring” actually is (spoiler: it’s not the fairytale people think it is). Kate’s been a sugar baby for 12 years, and she breaks down the blurry line between “paid girlfriend,” escorting, and trophy-wife dynamics, plus the mindset, boundaries, and emotional labour that most people never talk about. We also chat about wealthy men, loneliness, power, travel, and why being “good with money” matters when your income can swing wildly week to week. If you’ve ever wondered: “What is a sugar baby?” “Is sex involved?” “How do allowances work?” “Do sugar daddies catch feelings?” — this one’s for you. In this episode, we cover: - What sugaring is (and what it isn’t) - Why Kate chose it, and why she’s stayed in it - The travel “life hack” side (private jets… then back to backpacking 👀) - Boundaries, confidence, and handling men who push limits - Money talk: allowances, expectations, and setting the bar - When “dating problems” show up in sugaring too - The stigma & discrimination sex workers face (banks, platforms, real estate) - Why we’re having these convos: empowerment, honesty, and awareness If you enjoyed this ep, subscribe and drop a comment: Could you separate money from emotion in dating? #sexandtheone #makethempay #podcast #love #dating #relationship

    24 min

  7. JAN 5

    Dick Pics, Dating Hot Takes & Rogue One-Liners | Did We Say That or Not? | Sex and the One Podcast

    Ok so… Megs went through old episode transcripts and pulled out a bunch of our most chaotic one-liners. Now we’re sitting here like: “Did we say that?” “I don’t remember saying that.” …and then immediately realising we would say it because it’s literally us. 😂 This ep is a mix of laughing, cringing, and accidentally saying something kinda deep between laughs. We get into: - Unsolicited pics (yep, digital flashing) - Cheating / emotional cheating - Gut feelings + red flags - Reality TV takes we stand by and a few quotes that should’ve stayed buried 🫣 jokes, we love putting it all out there! If you want a proper “group chat on the couch” vibe, welcome. #podcast #comedy #relationship #love #dating

    22 min

  8. 12/29/2025

    New Year Goals Are a Scam? Try “Eulogy Goals” Instead | Sex and the One Podcast

    Happy holidays besties — we’re still in the festive blur, but this week we’re talking about what actually matters heading into 2026. B & KV unpack: - Why New Year’s resolutions make some people spiral (and what to do instead) - “Eulogy goals”: the mindset shift that instantly clears the noise - Vision boards vs values (and why KV stopped doing them) - Detaching from outcomes without going emotionally numb - Relationship goals: date nights, burnout, libido + being exhausted Dating in the public eye: ghosting, getting deleted, and why the pod/book can scare people off If you’re entering 2026 overwhelmed, unmotivated, or just… not vibing with “new year, new me”, this one’s for you. 🎧 Subscribe / follow so you never miss an episode. #podcast #christmasseason #podcastclips #holidayseason #comedy

    23 min
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About

Sex and the One sees Kris (aka KV) and Bianca (aka B) get personal with all topics related to sex, dating and relationships. KV wrote a book about being a single mother of 4 adult children, having sex and looking for 'The One'. B is very happily married with 3 young daughters. Our unique and diverse views make for some spicy chats that will get you thinking about your own life. www.sexandtheone.com https://www.instagram.com/sexandtheone_podcast?igsh=cThrNDZ2c3Nrbm1i&utm_source=qr

Information

  • Creator
    Kris Vallay and Bianca El
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    69
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Kris Vallay and Bianca El
  • Show Website
    Sex and The One

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