Practicing Love: Have the Best Love and Sex of Your Life After 40

Shana James
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Love between humans is not easy, and most of us never had great examples or education about emotions, communication, sex, or what keeps love alive. When you add the challenges of aging to the mix, love becomes even more complicated. Many people end up settling, or giving up on what they want most. But you don't have to! Dating and relationships become easier when you hear people share vulnerably about their struggles, and how they've created more connection and excitement. I bring my 20 years of experience, coaching thousands of people, to help you see what's possible, and how the practice of love makes it possible to have the best love and sex of your life! Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! https://shanajamescoaching.com/goodies

  1. #44: What Every Man Needs to Know About Women's Menopause for a Relationship to Survive

    6D AGO

    #44: What Every Man Needs to Know About Women's Menopause for a Relationship to Survive

    Menopause isn't just a women's issue. It's creates a relationship struggle for both partners. And for many couples, it's the moment things fall apart. In this episode of Practicing Love, I talk with men's guide Mark J. Platten about why relationships during menopause and midlife feel so challenging, and what men are rarely taught about how to show up. Most men enter relationships with what Mark calls "Prince tools." They try to fix, perform, or avoid conflict. But menopause often brings emotional intensity, physical changes, and deeper truths to the surface. The old tools stop working. When this isn't seen as a problem to solve, it's an invitation to grow. In this episode explore: • Why so many couples struggle or separate during menopause and andropause • The difference between "Prince" and "King" energy • How to stop shutting down or taking things personally • The biggest mistakes men make during this stage • How midlife becomes a rite of passage into emotional maturity • What real intimacy is, beyond just sex • How vulnerability becomes strength, not weakness If you love a woman in midlife — or you're moving through this season yourself — this conversation will help you show up with steadiness, heart, and depth. Because menopause doesn't have to be the end of intimacy. It can be the beginning of the most honest and connected love of your life.   In this episode of Practicing Love, I talk with men's guide Mark J. Platten about why relationships during menopause and midlife feel so challenging, and what men are rarely taught about how to show up. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: CNP489SMTIUXHOMC

    48 min
  2. #43: Desire Differences: What to Do When Sex Feels Blocked or Stuck

    JAN 29

    #43: Desire Differences: What to Do When Sex Feels Blocked or Stuck

    What happens when desire fades, sex feels effortful, or intimacy keeps getting interrupted by resentment, pressure, or exhaustion? In this episode of Practicing Love, I'm joined by Elana Auerbach, author of The Sure Thing: A Pleasure Practice to Revive the Spark, for a refreshing and deeply human conversation about desire differences, sensual connection, and what actually helps when intimacy takes a back seat. Rather than pushing through, fixing, or forcing desire, Elana offers a radically different orientation: pleasure as a practice of presence, intention, and safety. We explore: Why desire often disappears in long-term relationships, even when love is strong How resentment, withholding, and "trying to get it right" block sensual connection A new definition of orgasm as how much you can surrender to pleasure Why Responsive Desire needs context, safety, and curiosity to arise What to do when intimacy gets interrupted, and why nothing is lost when you pause How short, intentional pleasure practices (even 10 minutes) can rebuild closeness Learning to know what you want, and how to ask for it without pressure How devotion, play, and self-attunement can reignite the spark over time This conversation is for anyone who wants more aliveness, more connection, and more honesty around pleasure, whether you're partnered, single, or somewhere in between. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: CHROXRSGACRHE8NP

    41 min
  3. #42: Reclaim Eros: Erotic Intelligence for Deeper Love, Intimacy, and Vitality

    JAN 22

    #42: Reclaim Eros: Erotic Intelligence for Deeper Love, Intimacy, and Vitality

    Reclaiming eros can impact every area of your life!  In this episode of Practicing Love, Shana James is joined by Erotic Wholeness Guide Darshana Avila, whose work has been featured on Netflix's Sex, Love & goop, The Guardian, The New Yorker, and more. Together, they explore an expanded understanding of eroticism — not as performance or sexuality alone, but as the life force energy of Eros that supports your creativity, intimacy, passion, and aliveness. Darshana invites us to rethink everything we've been taught about erotic energy, showing how cultural conditioning, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and nervous system dysregulation often suppress our erotic vitality — leaving us exhausted, and disconnected from our authenticity and from one another. This conversation weaves together somatic wisdom, relational insights, and deep compassion as Shana and Darshana explore how reclaiming erotic wholeness creates safety, presence, and intimacy in sex and intimacy, as well as every area of life. In this episode, you'll explore: What erotic wholeness (beyond sex) actually means  How erotic energy fuels creativity, connection, and vitality Why many people feel disconnected from desire and aliveness The role of nervous system regulation in intimacy and pleasure How people-pleasing and perfectionism suppress erotic expression Why integrating grief, shame, and protective strategies is part of erotic healing How safety and relaxation allow erotic energy to flow naturally This episode is an invitation to let go of pressure, performance and shame and find more of yourself -- your body, truth, and the full spectrum of your aliveness. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: WGWRQANBJDWAVVM6

    36 min
  4. #41: How to Have a Deeply Connected Relationship and Ecstatic Intimacy

    JAN 8

    #41: How to Have a Deeply Connected Relationship and Ecstatic Intimacy

    A Conversation on Real Connection & Ecstatic Intimacy What do we actually long for in love? In this episode, Shana James is joined by Joanna Shakti, founder and facilitator of Ecstatic Intimacy, for a rich conversation about authentic connection, emotional depth, and intimacy that doesn't require shrinking, over-giving, or shape-shifting to be loved. Joanna introduces the concept of ecstatic authenticity — the shift from hiding parts of ourselves to keep the peace, to honoring who we truly are in relationship and lovemaking. From this place of authenticity, deeper emotional intimacy, trust, and soul-level connection become possible — and passion becomes grounded in honesty, support, and delight. Together, Shana and Joanna also explore masculine and feminine energy not as rigid roles, but as living polarities (like yin and yang) that can create greater attraction, freedom, and aliveness in conscious relationships. In this episode, we explore: Why authenticity is the gateway to deeper intimacy What it really means to feel fully seen, understood, and "gotten" in love How conscious conflict can become communion instead of disconnection A more liberating approach to masculine and feminine dynamics in intimacy The conscious path from authenticity → intimacy → ecstasy If you're longing for a relationship where you can be fully yourself — and experience passion, devotion, and real connection — this conversation is for you. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: OHMHFXBSHHFV307Z

    45 min
  5. #40: How Not to Get Divorced: A Divorce Coach's Keys to Stay in Love Longer

    12/25/2025

    #40: How Not to Get Divorced: A Divorce Coach's Keys to Stay in Love Longer

    On today's Practicing Love podcast, Shana James is joined by divorce coach and NLP practitioner Rachael Sloan for a powerful conversation about how relationships break down — and how they can be repaired before it's too late. Rachael works primarily with men navigating separation and divorce and is the creator of the Better Beyond Divorce program. Together, Shana and Rachael explore emotional regulation, conflict, boundaries, survival responses, and the unconscious patterns that couples bring into relationships. This episode is for anyone who wants to communicate more effectively, stay connected during conflict, and build a relationship that can weather hard moments with greater compassion and clarity. It's a hopeful conversation about staying in love longer, even when things get hard, and how to stop the downward spirals that couples get stuck in.   Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: 3XO0LDATK42BXEXU

    48 min
  6. #39: Why Communication Breaks Down in Long-Term Relationships — And How to Rebuild Connection

    12/18/2025

    #39: Why Communication Breaks Down in Long-Term Relationships — And How to Rebuild Connection

    Why does connection and communication break down in long-term relationships, even when love is still there? In this episode of Practicing Love, Shana James and Hannah Chapman explore the hidden dynamics that cause couples to talk past each other, shut down, or feel chronically misunderstood. Drawing from vulnerable relationship experiences and decades of coaching, this conversation illuminates how defensive communication forms, what matters more than "being right," and how to rebuild connection over time. You'll learn: Why long-term couples often repeat the same painful communication cycles The difference between defensive communication and open, connected dialogue How curiosity and nervous-system safety change dynamics What it really takes to rebuild emotional intimacy and trust How partners feel seen, heard, and met again Whether you're feeling disconnected, stuck in recurring arguments, or longing for deeper closeness, this episode offers practical insight and hope for creating a relationship where communication becomes a source of connection, not conflict. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: JYEBEACXSYUOYD5E

    40 min
  7. #38: AI Matchmaking: AI Reshapes Dating for Lasting Love

    12/11/2025

    #38: AI Matchmaking: AI Reshapes Dating for Lasting Love

    Dating feels brutal for so many relationship-ready singles, especially over 40. In this episode, Shana James talks with Adam Cohen Aslatei, CEO of Three Day Rule, about how AI is reshaping modern matchmaking and how AI makes it easier for people to date and find real, emotionally available love. They explore dating burnout, why the apps are failing people, the power of intentional dating, and how AI can even support deeper human connection. A must-listen for those who want to stop unconsciously swiping and start consciously dating and creating meaningful relationships. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble License code: IHVPCN3F5C1BO2Q0

    43 min
  8. Why Passion Fades in Relationships: How to Ignite and Reignite the Spark

    12/04/2025

    Why Passion Fades in Relationships: How to Ignite and Reignite the Spark

    Passion doesn't fade because "that's just what happens." Passion fades because couples are missing a few essential skills. When you learn them, you can create spark and reignite it in long term relationships. In today's video, I break down some deeper reasons passion fades in long-term relationships and marriages, based on 20 years as a dating and relationship coach and the teachings from my book Honest Sex.

    10 min
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About

Love between humans is not easy, and most of us never had great examples or education about emotions, communication, sex, or what keeps love alive. When you add the challenges of aging to the mix, love becomes even more complicated. Many people end up settling, or giving up on what they want most. But you don't have to! Dating and relationships become easier when you hear people share vulnerably about their struggles, and how they've created more connection and excitement. I bring my 20 years of experience, coaching thousands of people, to help you see what's possible, and how the practice of love makes it possible to have the best love and sex of your life! Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life! https://shanajamescoaching.com/goodies

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