Conflict Owner's Manual

Dr. Deborah Sword, with co-host Tyson Bankert
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we show how your conflict competencies help you do conflict better.  Our logo is a dandelion because conflict is like a weed you don't want in the garden. Since it's there you want to know how to manage it, keep it from spreading, and feel good about how you dealt with it.  Dr. Deborah Sword is a specialist in conflict analysis and management. Tyson Bankert is a community facilitator and artist. We have decades of experience and training in helping people expand their conflict competencies. 

  1. 2D AGO

    115 How do you manage in polarized debates?

    Have you been uncomfortable when someone you disagree with insists on telling you why you're wrong? We discuss some conflict competent responses to bridge the gap between you and the person who is scolding you. We use examples of polarizing topics, and suggest sample questions that turn the division into conversation. Send us a text. We love hearing from you. Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

    9 min

  2. DEC 14

    114 Is perspective taking a skill that diffuses conflict?

    What happens when your discomfort with taking risks clashes with someone's need to be on time? Or, you think your comment is realistic but someone calls you a negative thinker for saying it?  We show how to use Perspective Taking to turn differences in opinions and values into conversations before they become conflicts. Send us a text. We love hearing from you. Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

    10 min

  3. DEC 7

    113 What stops you listening and how to fix it

    Are you more polite to strangers than to friends? Do friends trigger you in ways that co-workers don't? Why do you listen and react differently to your loved one than with a friend?  Listening is one of the greatest gifts we can give for free. Despite costing nothing and improving much, listening can be rare in relationships. We discuss some conflict competencies for listening better, because listening improves the quality of relationships. Send us a text. We love hearing from you. Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

    8 min

  4. NOV 30

    112 What's a good breakup?

    Have you ever dumped a friend? Did you do it well? Would the dumped friend agree you did it well? Or, have you stayed friends with someone for a reason other than enjoying their company? We discuss some conflict competencies for breaking up with a friend, to give choices, set boundaries, speak up sooner, respectful decision making, accommodating discomfort, and answering (or not) their question, "why?" Send us a text. We love hearing from you. Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

    8 min

  5. NOV 23

    111 The benefits you get from trying to be conflict competent

    Sure, there are lots of benefits to handling your conflicts competently. And there's also effort involved. How do you stay motivated enough to make that effort? Tyson and Deborah chat about the conflict competencies acquired from the effort of being conflict competent, because even the fact of trying reaps benefits. We are motivated from desires to be kind, relate well to others, gain clarity about what is really going on, and have quality relationships. And, we avoid the regret of losing relationships we value.  show notes: Corb Lund''s music https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsv9x5qGWcjjK1ogRDZ-O6w Send us a text. We love hearing from you. Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

    8 min

  6. NOV 16

    110 How is your relatability a conflict competence?

    Do you want to be so likeable that you never have conflict? Is your goal to be so nice that any conflict is either avoided or is resolved as fast as possible? We suggest that being relatable might be the conflict competency you're looking for. show note: Watch episodes 106 and 107 for more information on communication audits. Send us a text. We love hearing from you. Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

    6 min

  7. NOV 9

    108 What benefits do you get from conflict competence?

    How do you feel during and after you have a conflict? Our goal is for you to manage your conflicts well enough that you don't feel bad, awful, or regret. You'll do conflict better when you know the real issue that's the problem, and then choose the right conflict competency to manage that issue. That's how you own your conflict. Let's see how you can own your conflict. show note: examples of conflict analysis are in my substack newsletter: https://substack.com/@deborahsword Send us a text. We love hearing from you. Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

    6 min

  8. NOV 2

    109 What conflict competencies help when you're overwhelmed

    These are overwhelming and complex times, with demands on our time and resources from many directions. Sometimes, you need help sorting out how to address your internal conflicts. We demonstrate a process, name some conflict competencies to use, and suggest you approach your internal conflict kindly, with humility and hope. show note: Dr. Norman Yan, quoting the late Canadian poet Richard Outram, believes the cardinal human values are humility and hope. Send us a text. We love hearing from you. Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

    5 min
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About

we show how your conflict competencies help you do conflict better.  Our logo is a dandelion because conflict is like a weed you don't want in the garden. Since it's there you want to know how to manage it, keep it from spreading, and feel good about how you dealt with it.  Dr. Deborah Sword is a specialist in conflict analysis and management. Tyson Bankert is a community facilitator and artist. We have decades of experience and training in helping people expand their conflict competencies. 

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Deborah Sword, with co-host Tyson Bankert
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2025
  • Episodes
    114
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Conflict Owner's Manual
  • Show Website
    Conflict Owner's Manual