How to Lose the Wait

Holly Toscanini
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to How to Lose the ‘WAIT’—the podcast for women in midlife who are tired of living like their real life starts “later.” If you’ve been waiting for confidence, the perfect timing, the perfect body, the perfect relationship, or a braver version of you to take the wheel… you’re in the right place.  Holly Toscanini is the warm, witty, and refreshingly real voice behind How to Lose the ‘Wait’ — the podcast helping women over 40 stop postponing their lives and start living fully, exactly as they are. An Amazon bestselling author, empowerment coach, and creator of The Unwaiting Method™, Holly has made it her mission to help women trade perfectionism, self-doubt, and people-pleasing for confidence, intuition, and freedom. Through candid storytelling and laugh-out-loud truth-telling, she guides listeners out of the “waiting room” of life — where everything is on hold until things are perfect — and into a life that feels bold, meaningful, and completely their own. Every episode of How to Lose the ‘Wait’ feels like coffee with a best friend who actually gets it. Holly unpacks what it really takes to rebuild confidence in midlife, draw boundaries without guilt, and reconnect with the wisdom women were taught to ignore. With each conversation, she reminds listeners that it’s not too late to reinvent themselves — it’s right on time. If you’re ready to stop waiting for permission and start living the life you were meant for, How to Lose the ‘Wait’ will show you how to do it with humor, heart, and zero apologies. Stop Waiting. Start Living. https://www.howtolosethewait.com

  1. 2d ago

    137. Age, Wisdom, and the Power of Not Giving a Sh*t

    Why body insecurity and ageism keep women waiting to live, and three practices to rebuild self-trust and body confidence after 40 and 50. If you've been putting something off until your body looks right or you feel young enough, this episode is for you. Holly Toscanini looks at where body insecurity really comes from, why ageism makes it louder in midlife, and how self-trust helps you stop waiting. You'll get three practices to start this week and one honest question to sit with. Try "What's Next?”, Holly's free self-coaching tool: https://whats-next.hollytoscanini.workers.dev/ body image after 50, body confidence, midlife, aging, ageism, menopause, self-trust, intuition, diet culture, How to Lose the WAIT Licensed Podcast music https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetter License code: VGZ66UBEGXBP8YK8

    137. Age, Wisdom, and the Power of Not Giving a Sh*t

  2. Oct 5

    136. How You Were Conditioned to Stay Small with Christine Agro

    Most women have had this experience at least once. They’re in a conversation — a meeting, a relationship, a family situation — and they know exactly what they want to say. And then something happens in the space between knowing and speaking. What comes out is smaller, softer, more careful. Or nothing comes out at all. It’s not a confidence problem. It’s not a mindset problem. According to today’s guest, it’s something more specific — and something that most healing and growth approaches never reach. In this episode, Holly is in conversation with Christine Agro, founder of the Intrinsic Energy® Institute and the woman who identified and named Patriarchal Encodement™ — an energetic conditioning so embedded in women’s experience that it shapes how they think, feel, speak, and relate to themselves, often without any awareness that it’s happening. In this conversation, Holly and Christine cover: What Christine was observing in her clients that led her to identify Patriarchal Encodement™ — and the moment she realized it was systemic, not individualWhat Patriarchal Encodement™ is — and what makes it different from how we usually talk about patriarchal conditioningWhy women continue to struggle with the same patterns despite years of therapy, personal growth, and healing work — and what most approaches missThe specific experiences women have learned to tolerate: self-doubt, over-giving, difficulty setting limits, guilt, staying silent to keep the peaceWhat is actually happening when a woman knows what she wants to say and still can’t say itHow this conditioning shapes a woman’s relationship with her bodyWhat it means to clear something at its energetic roots — and why that produces a different resultFree resource from Christine: Patriarchal Encodement™ Workbook — download free at: https://www.christineagro.com/peworkbook Christine Agro — Intrinsic Energy® Institute: https://christineagro.com/ Instagram: @christineagro https://www.instagram.com/christineagro Facebook: @christineagro https://www.facebook.com/christineagro YouTube: youtube.com/christineagro https://www.youtube.com/christineagro why women stay silent, women silencing themselves, patriarchal conditioning, internalized patriarchy, how patriarchy affects women, women finding their voice, women’s self-worth, women’s boundaries, women’s empowerment, trusting your intuition, Christine Agro, Patriarchal Encodement, Patriarchal De-Encodement, Intrinsic Energy Institute, energetic healing women, clearing energetic patterns, women in midlife, why women hold back, women’s voice and power Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetter License code: VGZ66UBEGXBP8YK8

    136. How You Were Conditioned to Stay Small with Christine Agro

  3. Sep 28

    135. Menorexia-Menopause, Body Image & Midlife Confidence

    What is menorexia? You've got a changing body, a culture that expects you to hide the change, & the old promise that life gets better once you get your younger body back. I draw on decades of dieting history and my years working in intuitive eating and body acceptance to explore why health-promoting habits & restrictive thinking can look so alike from the outside, & why the better question is what's driving a habit & what it's costing you.  The Honest Answer Coach If you'd like help finding your one honest next step, try The Honest Answer Coach, my free self-coaching tool. You tell it what you've been feeling, and it asks a few thoughtful questions to help you get to what's underneath and leave with a next step that fits your actual life. https://holly-toscanini-f50a.mykajabi.com/the-honest-answer-coach If You Need Support If food, exercise, or your body are taking up more space in your life than you'd like, you deserve support from someone who specializes in this. The National Alliance for Eating Disorders offers a free helpline staffed by licensed therapists at 866-662-1235 (Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Eastern), and a treatment directory at findEDhelp.com. The helpline isn't a crisis line. If you're in crisis, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Related Episodes Episode 134: Hormone therapy and sexual health with Dr. Jennifer Roelands Episode 133: You're Not Becoming Invisible. You're Becoming Harder to Ignore. Research Mentioned National Alliance for Eating Disorders, "Eating Disorders in Midlife and Beyond" (about 13 percent of women 50 and older report at least one current eating disorder symptom) 2023 analysis in Menopause estimating midlife eating disorder prevalence at roughly 3.5 percent, with individual symptoms more common (summarized by LifeStance Health) #menopause #perimenopause #menorexia #bodyimage #womenover50 #bodyacceptance #intuitiveeating #midlifewomen #howtolosethewait Licensed Podcast music https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetter License code: VGZ66UBEGXBP8YK8

    135. Menorexia-Menopause, Body Image & Midlife Confidence

  4. Sep 21

    134. Stop Waiting to Feel Like Yourself Again- Dr. Jennifer Roelands

    OB-GYN Dr. Jennifer Roelands on why women normalize symptoms for years, how to advocate in the exam room, and what to know about hormones and sexual health. You’ve noticed changes in your sleep, your energy, your mood, your body, or your sex drive — and you’ve been wondering whether you simply need to push through them — today’s conversation may help you ask a better question- What if you don’t have to keep waiting to feel like yourself again? Holly’s guest is Dr. Jennifer Roelands, a board-certified OB-GYN and Integrative Medicine specialist with 17 years of active clinical practice at Precision Health MD in Orange County, California. She has spent nearly two decades watching women be dismissed, misdiagnosed, and undertreated — and built her practice around the conviction that women over 35 deserve the clinical explanation their 15-minute appointment never has time for. Her book PIVOT | You Are Not Crazy: Perimenopause Edition releases October 15, 2026. What it means to become the SHE-EO of your health when you feel overwhelmed or talked over in the exam roomThe PIVOT framework from Dr. Roelands’ new book — and the step women most often skipThe most persistent myths about hormone therapy that still keep women from having an informed conversationWhy sexual health is still treated as optional rather than a core part of women’s healthcareHow to talk with a partner about changes in desire, discomfort, or how you feel in your bodyHow to think about long-term health without making aging another exhausting standard to meetResources from Dr. Roelands: Free guide — How to Talk to Your Doctor: https://drjenniferroelands.com/perimenopauseguide/ PIVOT | You Are Not Crazy: Perimenopause Edition (releases October 15, 2026): https://drjenniferroelands.com/pivotbook/ Precision Health MD: https://drjenniferroelands.com/ YouTube — Dr. Jen MD: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC16IWACsU9FPpkYlLENEjg Instagram: @dr.jenniferroelands https://www.instagram.com/dr.jenniferroelands/ #perimenopause #womenshealth #womenover40 #drjenniferroelands #selftrust #PIVOTbook #womenover50 #menopause Additional Resources Mentioned: Dr. Kelly Caspern- You Are Not Broken https://www.youtube.com/@kellycaspersonmd Emily Morse- Sex with Emily https://sexwithemily.com/ Dr. Emily Nagoski- Come As You Are https://www.emilynagoski.com/ Subscribe for weekly episodes on self-trust, honest communication, and what it actually looks like to stop waiting and start living. https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetter License code: VGZ66UBEGXBP8YK8

    134. Stop Waiting to Feel Like Yourself Again- Dr. Jennifer Roelands

  5. Sep 14

    133. You’re Not Becoming Invisible. You’re Becoming Harder to Ignore

    There’s a conversation happening about midlife invisibility. About the moment women realize they’re no longer turning heads, no longer registering the way they once did. And most of the responses are about how to fix it. I think the framing is off. Not because the experience isn’t real — it is. But because there’s a question nobody is asking before the style tips arrive: what kind of visible were you? And is that what you actually want back? In this episode of How to Lose the ‘WAIT’, I'll draw a distinction most conversations about midlife invisibility miss: the difference between the genuine experience of being dismissed or overlooked, and the loss of a conditional visibility that required women to perform, accommodate, and make themselves useful in order to be seen. Those aren’t the same thing. And treating them the same leads to the wrong solution. What you’ll learn: Why the experience of feeling invisible in midlife is real and worth taking seriously — without a list of style tipsThe two very different experiences women conflate when they say they feel invisibleThe question that changes everything: what were you visible as?What conditional visibility actually cost — and why its fading might not be entirely a lossWhat the most compelling, clear-eyed women in midlife have in commonThe specific waiting pattern the invisibility experience activatesWhy the visibility that actually sustains you doesn’t come from being confirmed by the right peopleSubscribe for weekly episodes on self-trust, honest communication, and what it actually looks like to stop waiting and start living. Newsletter- Subscribe https://holly-toscanini-f50a.mykajabi.com/newsletters/the-unwaiting-room/subscribe feeling invisible in midlife, midlife women visibility, women over 40 confidence, midlife identity, women feeling invisible at 50, midlife women empowerment, how to feel visible again, midlife invisibility, aging and self-worth, self-trust women over 40, women and aging, midlife confidence, women becoming invisible, showing up https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetter License code: VGZ66UBEGXBP8YK8

    133. You’re Not Becoming Invisible. You’re Becoming Harder to Ignore

  6. Sep 7

    132. When the Old You No Longer Fits: Identity Rupture, Self-Trust, and Grounded Expansion

    There’s a particular kind of stuck that happens when you’ve already thought about the problem from every angle. You know something needs to change. You may even know what the change is. But taking action still feels strangely difficult. Holly’s guest today, Embodied Integration Coach Natasha Ramlall, has a phrase that explains why: “You can’t think your way out of an overthinking problem.” Change isn’t only happening in your thoughts. Your body is part of the conversation too. After making her own pivot following a 25-year career, Natasha became deeply interested in the disorienting in-between — the space between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming. Her work now centers on Identity Rupture and Grounded Expansion: creating enough internal stability to experience the grief, uncertainty, possibility, and growth that come with real change. What you’ll learn in this conversation: What Identity Rupture means — and why it’s more precise than saying you’re “going through a transition” What it looks like for a woman who appears completely functional from the outside Why being highly capable can make major transitions harder, not easier What women do during this period that unintentionally makes the disorientation worse Why more thinking, planning, and self-improvement often keeps you stuck What somatic safety means in plain language — and how to recognize it How Grounded Expansion helps women move forward without rushing into a new identity Why grief and possibility need to coexist during a real identity shift How to tell the difference between a grounding pause and avoidance What aligned action feels like compared to action driven by pressure or panic Free Guided Resourcing Audio: https://humanistcoaching.eo.page/free-resourcing-audio Learn more about Natasha’s work: https://www.humanistcoaching.ca/ Subscribe for weekly episodes on self-trust, honest communication, and what it actually looks like to stop waiting and start moving. https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetter License code: VGZ66UBEGXBP8YK8

    132. When the Old You No Longer Fits: Identity Rupture, Self-Trust, and Grounded Expansion

  7. Aug 31

    131. The September Reset: One Overdue Decision to Make Before the Year Gets Away From You

    What decision did you expect to have made by now? Here’s how to use September to name the overdue thing — and take one real move before the year ends. What decision did you expect to have made by now? Not this year specifically — just by now. There’s something you’ve been circling. A direction you thought you’d have committed to. A conversation you’d have had. A change you’d have made. And every time September rolls around, the gap between where you thought you’d be and where you actually are becomes a little harder to ignore. In this episode, Holly Toscanini uses September’s natural transition energy to help you name one overdue decision — not to reinvent your life or start over, but to stop postponing one specific thing that already matters. Register for the free live class — Stop Waiting to Feel Ready — on September 12, 2026 at 10 AM PDT. https://holly-toscanini-f50a.mykajabi.com/stop-waiting-to-feel-ready-workshop overdue decision, September reset, stop postponing, how to stop waiting, making a decision you keep putting off, women over 40 decisions, September new year, preparation vs avoidance, readiness vs willingness, how to stop procrastinating a decision, decision making women, self-trust women, how to take action, stop waiting for the right time, overdue choice https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetter License code: VGZ66UBEGXBP8YK8

    131. The September Reset: One Overdue Decision to Make Before the Year Gets Away From You

  8. Aug 24

    130. Is the Silent Treatment Abuse? What Every Woman Needs to Know — with Ama K. Karikari

    Ama K. Karikari spent 15 years in a marriage defined by chronic silent treatment before recognizing it as abuse. Here’s what she learned. Sometimes the hardest relationships to leave are the ones that don’t look obviously harmful from the outside. There may not be a single incident you can point to or a piece of evidence that makes everyone around you immediately understand what you’re feeling. Instead, there’s withdrawal, punishment, confusion, and a growing sense that you can’t trust your own interpretation of what’s happening anymore. My guest today, Ama K. Karikari, spent fifteen years experiencing chronic silent treatment in marriage before recognizing it as a form of emotional harm. Today she helps other women and mothers find language for experiences they may have struggled to explain even to themselves. In this conversation, you'll learn: What the silent treatment actually is — and the critical distinctions between it, a cooling off period, and involuntary stonewallingWhy the silent treatment triggers the same neurological pain centers as physical violenceWhy it’s so hard for others — friends, family, even clinicians — to recognize it as abuse when there’s no visible evidenceHow chronic silent treatment erodes self-trust over time and causes women to doubt their own perceptionThe four potential outcomes of staying in a narcissistic relationship, according to researchThe one safest first step for a woman who still feels confused or afraid to trust her own experience Ama’s free resources Find both in the links below. Website: https://www.amakkarikari.com/ Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/amakkarikari/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amakarikariyawson/ eBook — Silenced to Soaring: Heal from Chronic Silent Treatments, Toxic Relationships and Abuse: https://www.amakkarikari.com/ Soaring Sisters Community — guided lessons, practical exercises, community webinars, and optional weekly peer support circles: https://www.skool.com/silenced-to-soaringmoms/about the silent treatment, chronic silent treatment, emotional abuse in marriage, narcissistic abuse recovery, silent treatment in relationships, emotional harm women, how to recognize emotional abuse, self-trust after abuse, toxic relationship recovery, mothers in abusive relationships, Ama K. Karikari, Silenced to Soaring, gaslighting and silence, narcissistic tendencies, rebuilding self-trust after toxic relationship https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetter License code: VGZ66UBEGXBP8YK8

    130. Is the Silent Treatment Abuse? What Every Woman Needs to Know — with Ama K. Karikari
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out of 5
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About

Welcome to How to Lose the ‘WAIT’—the podcast for women in midlife who are tired of living like their real life starts “later.” If you’ve been waiting for confidence, the perfect timing, the perfect body, the perfect relationship, or a braver version of you to take the wheel… you’re in the right place.  Holly Toscanini is the warm, witty, and refreshingly real voice behind How to Lose the ‘Wait’ — the podcast helping women over 40 stop postponing their lives and start living fully, exactly as they are. An Amazon bestselling author, empowerment coach, and creator of The Unwaiting Method™, Holly has made it her mission to help women trade perfectionism, self-doubt, and people-pleasing for confidence, intuition, and freedom. Through candid storytelling and laugh-out-loud truth-telling, she guides listeners out of the “waiting room” of life — where everything is on hold until things are perfect — and into a life that feels bold, meaningful, and completely their own. Every episode of How to Lose the ‘Wait’ feels like coffee with a best friend who actually gets it. Holly unpacks what it really takes to rebuild confidence in midlife, draw boundaries without guilt, and reconnect with the wisdom women were taught to ignore. With each conversation, she reminds listeners that it’s not too late to reinvent themselves — it’s right on time. If you’re ready to stop waiting for permission and start living the life you were meant for, How to Lose the ‘Wait’ will show you how to do it with humor, heart, and zero apologies. Stop Waiting. Start Living. https://www.howtolosethewait.com

Information

  • Creator
    Holly Toscanini
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    137
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Holly Toscanini
  • Show Website
    How to Lose the Wait