What happens when healing itself becomes something we use to avoid what we're actually feeling? In this episode of The Shaman Stories Podcast, Jeremy sits down with author, tech executive, energy healer and creator Tova Citrin for a deeply personal conversation about trauma, nervous-system healing, spirituality, creativity and learning to live as your authentic self. Tova spent years exploring different forms of spiritual and energetic healing while simultaneously maintaining a very different professional identity in the technology and financial industries. For much of her career, she kept those two sides of herself separate. Eventually, she realized she no longer wanted to hide parts of who she was. Her own healing journey began much earlier. After experiencing a difficult childhood and later becoming seriously ill with meningitis in her late twenties, Tova found herself questioning who she was without her career, health and the identity she had built around herself. That experience eventually led her deeper into spirituality, energy work and ultimately to Israel, where what was intended to be a three-month stay became more than two decades. In this conversation, we explore: • Why healing can sometimes become another thing we chase • Trauma and nervous-system dysregulation • Living with hypervigilance • Why energetic healing alone isn't always enough • The relationship between the mind, body, emotions and spirit • Giving yourself permission to actually feel grief • Turning painful experiences into music, writing and art • Creativity as part of the healing process • Learning to stop saying “I'm fine” • How childhood experiences can shape intuition and awareness • Integrating a spiritual identity with a conventional career • Social media, fear and its effect on our nervous systems • Learning to be compassionate with ourselves • Why it's never too late to become who you really are • Jewish spirituality, Kabbalah and prophecy • Tova's spiritual thriller, Ten Seconds to Midnight • Her music project, Aviya Sage • Her Broadway-style musical, Company Man Tova also speaks candidly about living in Israel during years of conflict and how repeated alerts, rockets and trips to the safe room affected her nervous system even when her conscious mind told her she was fine. She describes still waking every few hours because her body learned to anticipate the next alarm. That leads us into a conversation about something we both understand personally: sometimes surviving the experience isn't the end of the trauma. The body can continue responding long after our conscious mind believes the danger has passed. Tova eventually realized that after years of exploring energy healing, one of the missing pieces for her was working directly with her nervous system. She says that as she began addressing that layer, other pieces of her life started falling into place and her creativity began flowing again. We also explore Tova's novel, Ten Seconds to Midnight, a spiritual thriller she describes as something like The Da Vinci Code meeting Jewish mysticism and Kabbalah. The story explores prophecy, redemption, darkness, destiny and what happens when we're finally forced to confront what we've spent our lives avoiding. Above everything else, Tova leaves listeners with a simple message: Be compassionate with yourself. Don't wait to live your life. Create what you feel called to create, and stop apologizing for who you are. The Shaman Stories Podcast Presented by Aldren Sanctuary Wisdom Returned. Connect with Tova Citrin ova's official website: https://www.tovacitrin.com/ Her site includes information about Ten Seconds to Midnight, Aviya Sage, Company Man, her speaking work and ways to contact her. Her official site describes her work as existing at the intersection of leadership, storytelling and spirituality. Ten Seconds to Midnight Available through the purchase link on: https://www.tovacitrin.com/ Tova describes the book as a spiritual thriller exploring Jewish mysticism, Kabbalah, prophecy and redemption. Aviya Sage Tova's music project can also be found through: https://www.tovacitrin.com/ Her official site describes Aviya Sage as an AI music artist project featuring Tova's original lyrics with AI-generated music and voice. Tova also mentions during the episode that she can be found on LinkedIn under Tova Citrin. Explore Aldren Sanctuary https://www.aldrensanctuary.com https://www.facebook.com/TheAldrenSanctuary https://www.facebook.com/shamanstoriespodcast jeremy@aldrensanctuary.com Interested in being a guest? shamanstoriespodcast@gmail.com
