The Lulu Essey Podcast

Lulu Essey
  • 4.6 (10)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

The Lulu Essey Podcast helps you build Mental Fitness, my way of talking about mental health, together with Self-Love, and emotional resilience from the inside out. I'm Lulu, and each week I share honest, unedited conversations, practical tools, and personal stories to help you grow and deepen your confidence, build self-worth that stays firm during your hard days, and find more joy and freedom in the life you already have. Take what's true for you, make it your own, and let the rest fall away. Here we adapt, not adopt so you can do this glorious, messy thing we call life, your way.

  1. 20h ago

    Why Self-Help Can Make You Feel Like the Problem

    Does self-help leave you feeling like the problem? Like you did the work, followed every step, and your life still did not change, so the failure must be you? If self-improvement is not working for you, I want you to hear this: I reached the same conclusion about myself once, and it took me years to see that the reasoning was broken, not the woman doing the reasoning. There is a shouty conversation happening in the self-improvement world right now, about what gets promised and what gets sold with the promise. Underneath the noise there is something more important: so many of us are measuring our lives against those promises, coming up short, and deciding that we are the problem. So this week I am not weighing in on anyone else. I am telling you plainly who I am, who I am not, and what you can count on me for in this space. I will never hand you my life as a template, only as company. Blame and agency have been mushed together in this space, and we pull them apart. And we sit with the question that follows the words you are not broken: then where am I? The answer changed how I see this path. This is Season Two, where we explore the space between knowing the work and living it. This conversation is the foundation everything else this season stands on. IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN Why doing everything right and still feeling stuck was never proof that you are the problemThe difference between blame and agency, and why confusing them leaves us feeling worseWhat it means to be whole and becoming at the same time, and that both can be trueMy honest take on the wounded healer: why wounds give you a lens, not a licenseWhat fluid, not flimsy looks like in practiceWhy I chose the words Mental Fitness for this show, and never self-help Connect with Lulu: Website: https://www.luluessey.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey This is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛 The Lulu Essey Podcast is a proud member of the ALIVE Podcast Network: https://alivepodcastnetwork.com/

  2. Aug 13

    Why You Feel Guilty Every Time You Rest

    Do you feel guilty every time you rest? Like rest has to be earned, and you have not earned it yet and you definitely don't deserve it? I know that voice well. It showed up this summer, big time, when I took my first break in 88 episodes. Welcome to Season Two, Beauties. I am opening this season with the truth about that break. For weeks before it, a voice in my head listed all the reasons I hadn't earned the right to rest. I didn't fight that voice. I didn't obey it either. I sat down with it. In a workshop with Elizabeth Gilbert, I heard her describe fear as a passenger that rides sidecar. I loved it, and I do not drive. So I did it my way. I invited fear in for a coffee, let it say everything it had to say, and then asked it one question. This episode names what Season Two is really about: the gap between knowing this work and living it, and what it takes to truly embody the work. We have never consumed more of this content, and so many of us are still stuck. Closing that gap is uncomfortable, sometimes painful and often awkward. That is exactly where we are going together. And some news that means the world to me: The Lulu Essey Podcast is now part of the ALIVE Podcast Network, founded by the incredible Angel Livas. In This Episode You Will Learn Where the belief that rest has to be earned comes from, and why it gets louder the harder you workWhat happened when I stopped arguing with fear and let it speak insteadThe Coffee Invitation, a practice for hosting a feeling without letting it decideThe one question that reveals what a feeling is really trying to do for youWhy knowing this work is not the same as living it, and why that gap is the heart of Season TwoWhat joining the ALIVE Podcast Network means for this communityNext week on Season Two: trust. I tell you plainly who I am, who I am not, and what you can count on from me in this space. Explore the ALIVE Podcast Network: https://alivepodcastnetwork.com/ Connect with Lulu:Website: https://www.luluessey.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.esseyThis is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

  3. Jul 16

    Group Chat Gone Quiet? What Their Silence Really Means

    When group chats go quiet and friends stop reaching out, the silence can start to feel like a judgment. Researchers are now talking about the friendship recession, adult friendships fading with no argument and no goodbye, and it is happening everywhere. This episode is about what that silence does to our sense of worth, and the one question that stops it. What makes a fading chat so painful is seldom ever the absence of messages, but rather the meaning we attach to those missing messages. And somehow we always seem to reach for the harshest explanation and treat it as fact. This conversation feels personal because I am almost always the one who messages first, so I know this silence from the inside. What years of being the one who reaches out has taught me about what the silence has meant, and what it has never meant, sits at the heart of this episode. This is a short summer episode, honest and practical, made to fit inside the season you are living. And it is the last one before my four-week summer break. I will be back on Thursday the 13th of August, and there are 88 episodes waiting for you in the meantime. If a silence has ever told you a story about yourself, join me. Let's stop that story together. In This Episode You Will Learn What the friendship recession is, and why adult friendships now fade instead of endingWhy the person who never replies almost certainly is not thinking what you fear they are thinkingWhat being the one who always texts first taught me about what silence does and does not meanThe moment the silence starts talking, and how to recognize whose voice it really isThe one question that stops the story mid-sentenceThe one message worth sending, and the two reasons never to send it Connect with Lulu:Website: https://www.luluessey.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.esseyThis is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

  4. Jul 9

    Summer Feels Too Short? Stop Measuring, Start Living

    Summer feels too short, so we grip every warm day and demand that it counts. Make every moment count sounds like such good summer advice, and it is also one of the fastest ways to miss the season entirely. This episode is about the moment the review begins, and the two small questions that keep us from throwing our summer away without realising it. This is not a conversation about doing more with your summer. It is about the invisible standard so many of us hold our days to, where that standard came from, and why someone else's measure leaves us feeling behind in a summer meant for joy. There is a scorecard involved, a ruler that was never ours, and yes, a gorgeous sundress. The sundress will make sense, I promise. I share the two questions I use when the pressure to make the most of summer starts humming, a small piece of Mental Fitness that turns the season from a test back into a life. To me, this is Self-Love in practice, choosing our own measure of what counts and letting the rest go. These summer episodes are short, honest, and made for the season you are living right now. If your summer has started to feel like something you are performing instead of something you are in, join me. Let's put the scorecard down together. In This Episode You Will Learn Why making every moment count is the opposite of what it promises to beThe invisible standard we hold our summers to, and the surprising thing you find when you go looking for its originWhy the same habit that has us measuring our bodies in summer also has us measuring our timeThe question that catches you mid-review and brings you back into your own eveningWhat adapt, not adopt looks like when you apply it to time itselfHow to write your own measure of a summer that counts, and the case for letting one moment count for nothing Connect with Lulu:Website: https://www.luluessey.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.esseyThis is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And subscribe while you are here 💛

  5. Jul 2

    Why Everyone Else's Summer Looks Better Than Yours

    The summer comparison trap is one of the most diabolical things we do to ourselves, and it bites hardest when everyone else's summer looks better than ours. One minute you are scrolling through other people's summer escapades, the next your own summer feels insignificant, grey, and just not enough. This episode is about what is really going on in that moment, and the small shift that brings you home to the summer you are living. This is not about where we are or are not going this year. It is about how fast a screen can lift us right out of our own life and place us in the middle of someone else's. And the longer we linger there, the more of our own summer slips by while we are looking the other way. I share one simple question you can reach for the next time the scroll starts to sting, a piece of Mental Fitness that gently calls you back to your own life. And yes, there is a caftan involved. It makes more sense than it sounds. To me, this is where Self-Love begins, in coming home to the summer you are standing in and deciding to enjoy the hell out of it. These summer episodes are short, honest, and this one made me laugh more than most. If comparison has been running off with your summer, join me to find a lighter way to hold it. IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN How an ordinary scroll can talk you into believing your whole summer is a write-offThe slightly absurd thing we all do the moment someone else's summer looks betterWhat it truly costs us to go and live in someone else's summer instead of our ownOne simple question that gently calls you back when the scroll starts to stingSmall, gloriously ridiculous ways to celebrate the summer you are actually inWhy coming home to your own summer is something you do, not something you wait forConnect with Lulu:Website: https://www.luluessey.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.esseyThis is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

  6. Jun 25

    Summer Body Image: What Really Hurts

    Summer body image is a powerful struggle so many of us carry without always acknowledging it. Warmer weather, smaller clothes, and it can be so much harder to feel beautiful in our own skin, so easy to feel measured against everyone around us. This episode is about what's really going on underneath that feeling. The pain so many of us feel about our bodies in summer may not be about our bodies, but rather how we constantly measure them, weigh them, size them. How we compare and size ourselves up against the people and the images around us. The measuring is the part that hurts. This is not a new conversation. But consider holding beauty differently. Not as something we have to earn or put on show. As something we already are. I share a simple question you can carry into any moment this summer, one that helps you tell a choice that's caring for you from a choice that's working against you. To me, that's where Self-Love begins. These summer episodes are short and honest, and this one's close to my heart. If summer has ever left you feeling measured and somehow not enough, I'd love for you to join me in this conversation, and to find a kinder place to rest your eyes. IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN Why summer body image can be one of the hardest things to make peace withWhy the deepest pain here may not be about your body at allWhat the constant measuring costs us, and how often we do it without even noticingHow to hold beauty as something you already are, rather than something to earnOne simple question that shows you whether a choice is on your sideWhat to do with all the noise, without fighting it or making it wrongConnect with Lulu:Website: https://www.luluessey.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.esseyThis is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

  7. Jun 18

    Feeling Invisible As You Age? How to Feel Seen

    Feeling invisible as you get older is something a lot of women experience and it's complicated and doesn't feel good or fair. In this episode I discuss how I approached this during a recent experience that shifted things in a meaningful way. It usually happens somewhere ordinary. You ask for help, or you say how something made you feel, and you get a disinterested shrug and sometimes the person even looks straight past you. And it is easy to decide that this is just what aging is going to feel like, and that there is no point trying to shift it. I don't think it has to be that way. And I feel we can all do better. This episode is about being seen as something you can claim instead of wait for, and how much it matters when women decide to really see each other. It is short and honest, the way I intend these summer episodes to be. It's hard to feel like you're not seen, it's painful and I invite you to join me in this conversation to find another way. IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL DISCOVER Why feeling invisible as you age is so common, and why it does not have to stay that wayWhat it means to claim being seen, instead of waiting for someone else to give it to youWhy what you choose to do next can matter more than whether anything changesWhy seeing each other, woman to woman, is a choice we get to makeWhat to do when you feel overlooked, without firing off something you will regretWhy being unseen is a moment, not a life sentenceConnect with Lulu:Website: https://www.luluessey.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.esseyThis is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

  8. Jun 11

    How to Ask for Help and Get What You Need

    How to ask for help and get what you need is a skill most of us were never taught. Asking for help is hard, and the way you ask for help changes what comes back to you and lifts the weight off the person you are asking.When many of us reach out, we often unknowingly hand over the whole problem and a silent hope that someone will give us a solution. It is heavy to carry and heavy to receive. There is a different way, and it is smaller than you think.This week I share what happened when I reached out to three friends on three different continents and asked each of them for one simple thing. Not advice. Not a solution. Just a few words. What came back did not take the tiredness away, and was never meant to. It did not "fix" the situation, and was never meant to. What it did was remind me that none of us has to carry it all alone, and that support does not have to be in the room to reach you.For anyone who finds asking for help hard, or who has never stopped to think about how they do it, this is a small and practical place to begin. It is a short, concentrated episode on purpose. It is summer, and many of you are out living the full, fabulous lives we keep talking about building, so take it on a walk or in the quiet between everything else, and carry one question with you. What does my heart need right now? IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL DISCOVER The one small thing I did differently that changed how it felt to ask for help, almost immediatelyWhy a broad, open ask quietly lands as a burden on the person you are reaching out toThe exact request I made to three friends, and the two things I made sure to leave outWhy being specific when you ask for help is a gift to the people who love you, not a weight on themWhy solutions feel impossible to find when you are overwhelmed, and what to reach for insteadThe single question to ask yourself before you reach out, especially when you do not know what you need Connect with Lulu:Website: https://www.luluessey.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.esseyThis is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

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4.6
out of 5
10 Ratings

About

The Lulu Essey Podcast helps you build Mental Fitness, my way of talking about mental health, together with Self-Love, and emotional resilience from the inside out. I'm Lulu, and each week I share honest, unedited conversations, practical tools, and personal stories to help you grow and deepen your confidence, build self-worth that stays firm during your hard days, and find more joy and freedom in the life you already have. Take what's true for you, make it your own, and let the rest fall away. Here we adapt, not adopt so you can do this glorious, messy thing we call life, your way.

Information

  • Creator
    Lulu Essey
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    90
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Lulu Essey
  • Show Website
    The Lulu Essey Podcast