How To Relate

Brittani Procknow
  • 5.0 (9)
  • Relationships
  • Weekly

Many people try to answer what makes relationships work. This podcast aims to answer how do we work relationships? I’m Brittani Procknow, a relationship therapist working with individuals and couples to deepen intimacy and live relationally. I’m taking insights from behind closed doors to you, a listener seeking to improve your relational wellbeing. I’m talking to people about everyday concepts including mental health, work, dating, families, friendships, and hobbies to give insights and actions towards living relationally. I’m grateful to have you here. Let’s dive in.

  1. 4h ago

    Couples, Money & the Myth of “Communication Problems” with Caleb Birkhoff, LMFT

    Caleb Birkhoff, LMFT, is a couples therapist based in the San Francisco Bay Area who also works extensively with men and with people navigating their relationship to drugs and alcohol. With over a decade in recovery work, Caleb brings the goal-setting and accountability of treatment into the couples room. In this episode, we talk about: How recovery work shaped his approach to couples therapy Why “communication problems” usually means the same words carry different meanings What being an identical twin taught him about assuming you know your partner Intention vs. impact, and his favorite question: “How much is your help helping?” Differentiation, and why separateness makes room for intimacy Sliding vs. deciding through relationship milestones Why there’s only one wrong way to talk about money (not talking about it) Low-stakes ways to start money conversations, from home reno shows to dream-life planning Why couples therapy is increasingly about growth, not a last stop before divorce Connect with Caleb at Golden Gate Counseling Services: https://goldengatecounselingservices.com/  Website: https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow Intimacy Workbook: https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219 Newsletter: https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc Sponsor: Larry’s Coffee — https://larryscoffee.com/relate

  2. Oct 22

    Therapists Behind the Scenes: An honest conversation about being therapists with Drew Klobuchar

    Brittani and Drew take an honest look at what goes on beyond the therapist’s chair: the business side, the emotional side and the parts no one talks about. Paternity and maternity leave when you’re a therapist at a small practice (no FMLA, no disability, paying your own insurance) Why the fee-for-service model breaks down when the therapist is the product Insurance, AI therapy bots and where the field might be headed How AI is changing what clients want from therapy (“tell me what’s wrong with me”) The “empathy bowl”: running low on empathy, over-empathizing and checking yourself Inner child work, IFS and the line between insight and staying stuck Phone tracking, teen autonomy, and parents at college grads’ job interviews Dodgeball with Drew: a seasonal, playful idea for young men’s group therapy Website: https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow Intimacy Workbook: https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219 Newsletter: https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc Sponsor: Larry’s Coffee — https://larryscoffee.com/relate

  3. Oct 13

    Purity Culture, Faith & Sexual Wholeness with Bridgett Blood

    Bridgett is a sexual storywork coach, speaker, and cohost of the Dating and Desire Podcast. She helps Christian singles, dating, and engaged couples engage their sexual desire in a way that aligns with their values and cultivates deep self-trust—proving you can live a life that’s both hot and holy. In this episode, we cover: Bridgett's journey from a conservative Christian upbringing to becoming a pastor — and the cost her family paid for that decision What "sexual story work" means and how past narratives shape adult relationship patterns Why Bridgett calls purity culture a pendulum swing that overcorrected from the sexual revolution How control and fear (not malice) drove purity culture's rules — and the harm that followed The link between purity contracts, lost bodily autonomy, and later vulnerability to abusive relationships Sexual joy vs. sexual loneliness — two forces that shape how we move toward connection Why abstinence-minded couples still need to build sensual and emotional intimacy, not just avoid sex The "art of sharing your skin": slowing down physical escalation to build real relational safety How grief and rage are part of deconstructing purity culture's promises Jay Stringer's framework: sex as designed to reveal, provoke, and heal   Connect with Bridgett: bridgettblood.com | Instagram | Dating and Desire Podcast (Tuesdays) ⁠Guide to Value-Based Boundaries in Dating⁠ ⁠Instagram @bridgetblood⁠ Dating and Desire Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5ktRQ8WGSw5xXc6XFVjiw9?si=33c382fc67f04a1f  Bridgett's Website⁠  Website: ⁠https://www.brittaniprocknow.com⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow⁠ Intimacy Workbook: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219⁠ Newsletter: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc⁠ Sponsor: Larry's Coffee — ⁠https://larryscoffee.com/relate⁠

  4. Oct 8

    It’s Not About the Money: Shame, Fear & Your Money Story with Nathan Astle

    Welcome to How to Relate! This episode is all about money with financial therapist Nathan Astle. Nathan Astle is based in Kansas City, with a background in couples and family therapy. He founded the Financial Therapy Clinical Institute, where financial therapists, counselors, and planners work together in a collaborative care model. Nathan has been featured in numerous outlets like The New York Times, Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, CNBC, USA Today, TD Ameritrade, Money Geek, and more. In this episode, we talk about: Why money is more like a language than a number, and how it shapes identity Fear and shame, the two biggest emotions people bring to money The money timeline exercise for uncovering your money story Why couples fighting about money are often fighting about different things (freedom vs. safety) Intergenerational money trauma, from Depression-era scarcity to Boomer collections to Millennial minimalism Why money conflict doesn’t cause divorce, and what actually does “Who’s at the controls?” and keeping fear from driving your financial decisions Nathan's Website: financialtherapyclinicalinstitute.com  Resources: https://www.financialtherapyclinicalinstitute.com/resource-library  Brittani's Stuff Website: https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow Intimacy Workbook: https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219 Newsletter: https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc Sponsor: Larry’s Coffee — https://larryscoffee.com/relate

  5. Oct 1

    Should I Stay or Should I Go? with Katherine Cullen, LCSW

    Too good to stay, too bad to leave is a scenario many people find themselves in. When the relationship could be better, when do you know it's time to leave or love the one you're with? We're here to answer. Katherine Cullen, LCSW, is a therapist in Nashville, Tennessee. Katherine co-authored The Truth About Exercise Addiction, and was an editor at Psychology Today before she became a therapist. Check out her Instagram for comedy, therapy, and relatable entertainment.  In this episode: - "Avoidance culture" in dating, and how getting fixated on the ick can protect us from intimacy - Mimetic desire: where our icks come from in the first place - Going back to your senses (an idea from inference-based CBT) to tell whether you're in the right relationship - Red flags that look pink, and spotting patterns over 6–12 months - Gottman's "dream within conflict," with the dishwasher fight as the example - The doughnut hole exercise for sorting out what you can and can't compromise on - How to find your relational needs - The Four Horsemen and their antidotes, plus making the scripts sound like you Books mentioned: Fight Right by John and Julie Gottman, Should I Stay or Should I Go? by Lundy Bancroft, and Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum Find Katherine: IG: https://www.instagram.com/kcullentherapy/  Website: https://integrateself.com  Website: https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/  IG: https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow  Intimacy Workbook: https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219  Newsletter: https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc  Sponsor: Larry's Coffee — https://larryscoffee.com/relate

  6. Sep 7

    Therapists, AI, and Money: Who will Control the future of mental health care? with Dr. Brian Dixon

    Dr. Brian J. Dixon, MD is a board-certified psychiatrist based in Fort Worth, TX, and founder of Field Guide, a referral and networking platform built by clinicians, for clinicians. Why mental health reimbursement is broken — and how a 1965 Medicare decision still shapes what therapists earn today The case for charging your worth, and how to get comfortable talking about money with clients Where AI helps (and where it falls dangerously short) in mental health care — plus the liability wave he sees coming Inside Field Guide: the referral board, the "rapport score," and why he built the platform therapists actually need What a decade of building (and rebuilding) taught him, and why business coaching and accountability groups matter Navigating clients who trust influencers and supplements over their provider Why now is the best time to be a mental health clinician entrepreneur Connect with Dr. Brian Dixon: ⁠LinkedIn⁠ Therapists Join FeelGuide: https://www.feelguide.network/   How to Relate: Website: ⁠https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow⁠ Intimacy Workbook: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219⁠ Newsletter: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc⁠ Sponsor: Larry's Coffee — ⁠https://larryscoffee.com/relate

  7. Aug 28

    Remarry Your Spouse Over and Over Again: The Remarriage Roadmap with Galit and Assael Romanelli

    What if the question isn't whether your marriage will end, but when — and whether you'll remarry the same person? On this episode of How to Relate, Galit and Assael Romanelli — couple therapists, real-life partners, and the minds behind the Remarriage Roadmap — discuss how long-term relationships actually survive change. In this episode: The "ABCs" that signal a marriage is heading for a rupture: thirds/affairs, boredom, and change What a "third" really is — anything pulling your attention, libido, or energy outside the relationship (a career, a PhD, the kids, a phone, even a "work spouse") The 95/70 dynamic: the unconscious hierarchy every couple shakes hands on early, and how to soften it into equality The four muscles of the Remarriage Roadmap — Play ("yes, and"), Let It Land ("tell me more"), Say the Thing ("part of me..."), and Own Your Shadow ("the truth is...") Why couples confuse being understood with being agreed with, and how differentiation changes that Practical tools you can use tonight: rating a disagreement 1–10 (no fives or sevens allowed), taking hard conversations on a walk, and using playfulness to defuse conflict Their book Feel Free Together and the 8-week Remarriage Roadmap program   Connect with Galit and Assael: Website: https://potentialstate.com/ Free toolkit: https://potentialstate.com/toolkit Instagram: @thepotentialstate Brittani's Resources Website: https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow Intimacy Workbook: https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219 Newsletter: https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc Therapist Threads: https://howtorelate.kit.com/069297fffb   Support the show and drink coffee! Proud to have Larry's Coffee as a show sponsor. Keep caffeinated with quality coffee. https://larryscoffee.com/relate

  8. Aug 14

    Patriarchy, Oppression & Insidious Trauma with Erica Smith

    Erica Smith returns to How to Relate for a light conversation (haha) on the patriarchy, insidious trauma, and what oppression does to our closest relationships. Why "the patriarchy" surged in cultural vocabulary post-2020, and how it intersects with racism and the need to re-center attention away from marginalized communities Defining the patriarchy: from a "wealthy white men" lens to Terry Real's framework on masculinity, invulnerability, and emotional suppression Boundaries vs. control — how boundary language gets weaponized to manage other people's behavior instead of one's own exposure "Insidious trauma" and death by a thousand paper cuts: the cumulative nervous-system toll of everyday dismissal, code-switching, and hypervigilance Family strategies for safety — advocating in medical settings, "the talk" before a breakup, staying alert in unfamiliar spaces Performative allyship vs. authentic accountability, and why announcing your values isn't the same as living them Affinity spaces: when they help, when they isolate, and why the burden of initiating hard conversations should shift toward the group causing harm Individual-level change as the starting point for structural change — noticing your own nervous system, choosing regulating relationships   Erica's Resources: Whole Mentality: https://www.wholementality.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsericakendra/   Website: ⁠https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow⁠ Intimacy Workbook: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219⁠ Newsletter: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc⁠ Sponsor: Larry's Coffee — ⁠https://larryscoffee.com/relate⁠

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
9 Ratings

About

Many people try to answer what makes relationships work. This podcast aims to answer how do we work relationships? I’m Brittani Procknow, a relationship therapist working with individuals and couples to deepen intimacy and live relationally. I’m taking insights from behind closed doors to you, a listener seeking to improve your relational wellbeing. I’m talking to people about everyday concepts including mental health, work, dating, families, friendships, and hobbies to give insights and actions towards living relationally. I’m grateful to have you here. Let’s dive in.

Information

  • Creator
    Brittani Procknow
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    86
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2024 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    How To Relate