No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women

Mary Rothwell
  • 5.0 (15)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

No Shrinking Violets is all about what it truly means for women to take up their space in the world – mind, body and spirit. Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist and certified integrative mental health practitioner, has seen women “stay small” and fit into the space in life that they have been conditioned to believe they deserve. Drawing on 35 years in the mental health field and from her perspective as a woman who was often told to "stay in your lane," Mary discusses how early experiences, society and sometimes our own limiting beliefs can convince us that living inside guardrails is the best -- or only -- option. She'll explore how to recognize our unique essential nature and how to use that to empower a new narrative.Through topics that span psychology, friendships, nature and even gut-brain health, Mary creates a space that is inspiring and authentic - where she celebrates the intuition and power of women who want to chart their own course and program their own GPS. Mary's topics will include sleep and supplements and nutrition and how to live like a plant. (Yes, you read that right - the example of plants is often the most insightful path to knowing what we truly need to feel fulfilled). She’ll talk about setting boundaries, communicating, and relationships, and explore mental health and wellness: trauma and resilience, how our food impacts our mood and the power of simple daily habits. And so much more! As a gardener, Mary knows that violets have been misjudged for centuries and are actually one of the most resilient and ecologically important plants in her native garden. Like violets, women are often underestimated, and they can even mistake their unique gifts for weaknesses. Join Mary to explore all the ways the vibrant and strong violet is an example for finding fulfillment in our own lives.

  1. 1d ago

    REPLAY: Expect the Expected: Managing Disappointment

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! You can love someone and still feel worn down by the same predictable disappointment. When a relationship keeps giving you the same outcome, hope can start to feel like a trap, especially when you’re doing all the emotional work and waiting for the other person to meet you there. I’m revisiting a mini episode that listeners kept coming back to because it names a pattern many of us live with: doing the same thing in a relationship and expecting a different result. I call it “expect the expected,” and it’s one of the clearest tools I know for relationship expectations, boundaries, and emotional self-care. We walk through a client example where a big achievement gets shared with a parent, only for the conversation to flip back to the parent’s needs within seconds, and we unpack why that hurts so much. From there, we talk about what you can do that actually helps: looking at consistent behavior through a clear lens, deciding how you want to show up going forward, and avoiding the trap of trying to change someone with tactics like the silent treatment. Whether the dynamic is mildly disappointing, chronically one-sided, or truly toxic, there’s a continuum of choices you can make to protect your mental health while staying grounded in reality. If this hits close to home, listen through and reflect on where you’re still negotiating with who someone “should” be. Subscribe for more short, practical insights and share this with a friend who needs it. Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    REPLAY: Expect the Expected: Managing Disappointment

  2. 5d ago

    Contraception, Hormones and Women's Cycles: Understanding Whole Body Impacts

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! Your body isn’t betraying you. A lot of what feels like “random” fatigue, heavy periods, mood swings, migraines, or midlife weight changes starts to make sense once you understand how hormones actually work together. We sit down with women’s health educator, author, and longtime coach Tierra Duncan to talk about hormone literacy and why so many of us reach adulthood knowing almost nothing about the system running the show. We dig into the menstrual cycle phases beyond “the bleed,” including why ovulation matters and how estrogen and progesterone rise and fall to support far more than fertility. Tierra also explains what hormonal birth control can do to natural hormone rhythms, why the pill, ring, implant, and IUD are not interchangeable, and which side effects and risk factors are worth discussing with a provider. We talk about inflammation, nutrient needs, mood changes tied to serotonin and dopamine, and why a one size fits all answer rarely holds up. Then we shift into perimenopause and menopause, where irregular ovulation can mean less progesterone and more emotional volatility, sleep disruption, and that unsettled “I don’t feel like myself” experience. We also cover HRT basics, the difference between synthetic and bioidentical hormones, and how to choose support that considers testing, deficiencies, and your whole life. We close with practical lifestyle strategies that actually move the needle: better sleep hygiene, steady blood sugar, stress management, and strength training for long-term metabolic and bone health. If this helped you connect a few dots, subscribe, and share it with a friend. You can find Tierra HERE https://www.tierraduncan.com/ Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    Contraception, Hormones and Women's Cycles: Understanding Whole Body Impacts

  3. Aug 31

    Getting Unstuck: Using Scaling to Create Change

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! Stuck can look like a hundred different things, but it usually feels the same: spinning, second-guessing, and waiting for clarity that never arrives. I share a simple tool I use when life feels mired, a 1 to 10 rating scale that turns a vague problem into something you can actually move. No complicated worksheets, no perfection, just an honest number and one practical next step.  We walk through how to pick a situation that is not going the way you want, rate it based on gut instinct, and then ask the question that creates momentum: what would it take to get one point higher? If you are at a 5, what makes it a 6, or even a 5.5? That small shift is where motivation comes back online, because it focuses you on change you can influence instead of outcomes you cannot control.  I also apply the rating scale to two common real-life pain points: relationship stress and overwhelm. We talk about communication that makes home or work dynamics more equitable, and why “they need to change” is a dead end if you have not named what you need. For stress management, I share examples like a daily 10-minute walk and setting a boundary with someone who keeps taking more than you can give, along with language you can borrow to say no without being cruel.  If you want to support the show, I’m running a National Wellness Month special: order my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive Through the Wisdom of Plants, through my website and you can choose a free No Shrinking Violets t-shirt as your gift. Listen, try the one-point question today, then subscribe, share this mini episode with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find it. What situation are you ready to move one point higher? Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    Getting Unstuck: Using Scaling to Create Change

  4. Aug 27

    Seeing The Pattern: Love Bombing and the Abuse Cycle

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! Someone can tell you they love you while quietly teaching you to doubt your own mind. That is the part we wanted to name out loud, without buzzwords and without blame. I sit down with artist, author, and speaker Carine Van Hee to unpack how toxic relationships and emotional abuse actually work in real life. Carine shares the moment her mother’s death in 2023 exposed a pattern she could not unsee, and how that discovery also reframed her own past relationship. We talk about why so many people hesitate to use the word “abuse,” especially when there are no visible bruises, and why that reluctance can keep us trapped in confusion. Together, we tease apart toxic vs unhealthy relationships, including the biggest tell: a repeated pattern of power and manipulation. We get practical about what your body may already be signaling, like rumination, exhaustion, and feeling like you’re walking on eggshells. We also dig into love bombing, isolation, gaslighting, smear campaigns, and financial control, and why the question “why doesn’t she just leave?” misses the reality of trauma bonding, nervous system overload, and the way abuse escalates over time. We close with what real support can look like from the outside, and how Carine uses art and her book, “Is It Me, The Hidden System Behind Toxic Relationships,” to replace shame with language and clarity. If this helps you put words to something you have felt, subscribe, share this episode with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find it. You can find Carine https://www.carinevanhee.com/ Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    Seeing The Pattern: Love Bombing and the Abuse Cycle

  5. Aug 24

    Breaking the Negative Thought Loop: Find The Exception

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! Your mind can turn one bad moment into a whole worldview, and it usually starts with two words: always and never. Today I’m sharing a simple way to interrupt that spiral by looking for “exceptions,” the real-life moments that prove the harsh story in your head is not true 100% of the time. It’s a small shift, but it can change how you experience anxiety, depression, disappointment, and even everyday stress. I also start with a quick National Wellness Month note and a special offer tied to my book, Nature Knows, because I genuinely believe nature-based wellness and tiny daily practices are some of the most accessible mental health supports we have. Then I get candid about being in a liminal space professionally. I’m doing more keynote speaking and training in higher education and nonprofits, I’m working on another book, and I’m taking a hard look at what takes the most time, money, and energy. If this podcast matters to you, I need to hear that. From there, I walk through a real example from city life: moving for community and walkability, then struggling with noise, disrespectful driving, and how that impacts my dog Alfie on our walks. The reframe is not denial. It’s noticing the exceptions, the kind barista, the neighbors who stop to connect, the crosswalk moments where people actually do the right thing. We end with practical ideas for building more calm on purpose, from sunshine to a workout to a tiny joy like that first sip of coffee. If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s stuck in a negative thought loop, and leave a review so more people can find us. What’s one exception you can name today? Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    Breaking the Negative Thought Loop: Find The Exception

  6. Aug 20

    People-Pleasing "Nice Girls": How High-Functioning Women Learn To Abandon Themselves

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! You can be confident, competent, and deeply self-aware and still find yourself saying yes when you mean no, smoothing things over, and quietly disappearing in your own life. That contradiction is exactly what Mary Rothwell explores with Ludovica Colella, a CBT-trained psychotherapist and confidence coach who specializes in people pleasing, fawning, and self-abandonment for high-functioning women who are exhausted from overgiving. We dig into the real roots of “being nice,” including gender socialization, the good girl role, and the fear that comes up when you stop shrinking and step into the spotlight of your own needs. Ludovica breaks down the continuum between selfishness and people pleasing, why the middle feels so charged with guilt, and what happens to relationships when you finally set boundaries that hold. We also talk about fawning as a survival response: hypervigilance, disappearing preferences, and trying to control how you’re perceived just to feel safe. Then we get practical. If boundaries feel terrifying, we walk through CBT-informed, low-stakes experiments that build confidence without detonating your life, plus why anger is not a character flaw but a vital signal that something matters and a boundary has been crossed. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep repeating patterns you can name but can’t change, you’ll leave with language, clarity, and next steps. Subscribe for more conversations that help you take up space and share this with a friend who needs it. You can find Ludovica HERE. https://lu-cole.com/ Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    People-Pleasing "Nice Girls": How High-Functioning Women Learn To Abandon Themselves

  7. Aug 17

    Shake It Off: What Nature Teaches Us About Nervous System Reset

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! Your body is carrying more than you think, and a puppy can prove it. After seven weeks of raising Alfie and trying to decode his signals, I noticed something that changed how I look at stress: the full-body “doggy shake.” Yes, dogs shake to dry off, but they also shake after a stressful moment as a way to reset their nervous system. Once I learned that, I started seeing it everywhere on our walks, especially after sudden city noise and sensory overload. He shakes, then he trots forward. No rumination. No story. Just release.  That tiny behavior opens up a bigger conversation about nervous system regulation and stress relief. I break down the sympathetic nervous system (the part that ramps you up for danger) and the parasympathetic nervous system (the part that brings you back down). If you have ever felt shaky after a near miss or a scary moment, you have experienced the body’s natural way of discharging stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. The challenge is that modern stress is rarely a short burst followed by safety. Work pressure, hard relationships, caregiving in the sandwich generation, social media, and nonstop news can keep us stuck in high alert, which can show up as headaches, stomach issues, indigestion, and that constant keyed-up feeling.  We do not need a perfect routine to feel better, but we do need a way to offload stress physically. I share simple, realistic “human resets” you can do in minutes: a brisk walk with music to interrupt rumination, standing up and shaking, a one-song dance break behind a closed door, and a playful technique I used with college students called chicken breathing. It sounds silly, but it is effective active mindfulness because it brings you back into your body and back into the moment. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who’s been carrying too much, and leave a quick review so more people can find the show. Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    Shake It Off: What Nature Teaches Us About Nervous System Reset

  8. Aug 13

    Emotional Regulation Doesn't Mean "Calm": The Path through Burnout, Anxiety and Shame

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! Emotional regulation isn’t “stay calm and never fall apart.” It’s being able to feel anger, grief, joy, fear, and everything in between while staying connected to your body and in control of what you do next. That single shift changes how we understand burnout, anxiety, and the shame so many high-achieving women carry when they can’t “just handle it.” Mary Rothwell sits down with Felicia Brown, LPC, a trauma-informed therapist, speaker, and emotional regulation coach who helps high performers break free from overthinking and productivity-based self-worth. Felicia shares the real-life catalyst behind her work: the post-COVID surge in student anxiety, the lack of rural mental health resources, and the life-altering experience of adopting three children with complex PTSD. Together we talk about why love doesn’t magically erase trauma, why healing is messy, and why your nervous system can keep scanning for danger even when your life is now safe. We also get practical. Felicia explains what “trauma-informed” actually means, how true triggers differ from everyday frustration, and why rewiring starts with safety and tiny body-based steps, not a perfect plan. We dig into guilt and rest, the myth that ambition equals burnout, and the truth that you can’t self-care your way out of a broken system. You’ll leave with simple, doable ways to start regulating today, including stacking two-minute practices into moments you already have and experimenting with doing 20% less without losing your edge. Subscribe, share this with a woman who needs permission to breathe, and leave a review with the biggest takeaway you want to remember. You can find Felicia HERE https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/felicia-brown-streator-il/1461420 Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    Emotional Regulation Doesn't Mean "Calm": The Path through Burnout, Anxiety and Shame
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About

No Shrinking Violets is all about what it truly means for women to take up their space in the world – mind, body and spirit. Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist and certified integrative mental health practitioner, has seen women “stay small” and fit into the space in life that they have been conditioned to believe they deserve. Drawing on 35 years in the mental health field and from her perspective as a woman who was often told to "stay in your lane," Mary discusses how early experiences, society and sometimes our own limiting beliefs can convince us that living inside guardrails is the best -- or only -- option. She'll explore how to recognize our unique essential nature and how to use that to empower a new narrative.Through topics that span psychology, friendships, nature and even gut-brain health, Mary creates a space that is inspiring and authentic - where she celebrates the intuition and power of women who want to chart their own course and program their own GPS. Mary's topics will include sleep and supplements and nutrition and how to live like a plant. (Yes, you read that right - the example of plants is often the most insightful path to knowing what we truly need to feel fulfilled). She’ll talk about setting boundaries, communicating, and relationships, and explore mental health and wellness: trauma and resilience, how our food impacts our mood and the power of simple daily habits. And so much more! As a gardener, Mary knows that violets have been misjudged for centuries and are actually one of the most resilient and ecologically important plants in her native garden. Like violets, women are often underestimated, and they can even mistake their unique gifts for weaknesses. Join Mary to explore all the ways the vibrant and strong violet is an example for finding fulfillment in our own lives.

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