Send us Fan Mail LinkedIn Influential Women Verified What if the thing you’re calling care, responsibility, or high standards has quietly become control? Control can be incredibly sneaky. Sometimes it looks like anxiety or constant checking. Sometimes it looks like being the responsible one who makes sure everything gets done. Sometimes it looks like high standards, perfectionism, parenting, leadership, protecting the people we love—or trying to optimize our health and our lives. And sometimes, control looks a lot like love. The problem isn't that we want to have agency over our lives. Healthy agency matters. We can make choices, prepare, communicate, set boundaries, take responsibility, and influence what happens. But there is a line between doing our part and believing we have to control the outcome. In this episode, we explore that line—and what happens when we loosen our grip. We’ll look at: Why uncertainty can make us reach for controlHow control can hide inside responsibility, excellence, and high standardsThe difference between healthy agency and trying to guarantee an outcomeWhy parenting can make our own fears, expectations, and unresolved emotions surfaceHow control can show up in romantic relationships through checking, monitoring, and technologyWhy successful leaders can struggle with delegation and letting other people do things differentlyThe surprising ways control can show up in our relationship with our bodies, aging, health, and longevityWhy more information doesn't always create more peaceThe difference between letting go, surrender, and resignationHow to create the conditions for growth without trying to control the growth itselfAnd perhaps the biggest question of all: What is actually mine to do?One of the ideas I keep coming back to is this: Care creates the conditions for growth. Control tries to guarantee the outcome. We can create the conditions for a child to grow. We can create the conditions for a healthy relationship. We can create the conditions for a thriving business. We can care for our bodies and make choices that support our health. But we cannot control another person's choices, guarantee a particular outcome, stop aging, eliminate uncertainty, or make life unfold exactly according to our plan. And that doesn't mean we are powerless. It may mean we're finally putting our power where it belongs. A few questions to take with you: What am I afraid will happen if I loosen my grip? Where have I confused caring with controlling? Where have I confused high standards with needing everything done my way? Where am I gathering more information when what I actually need is trust? What am I trying to control that actually belongs to someone else? And finally: What is mine to do—and what am I willing to release? Surrender isn't giving up. It can be the decision to do your part fully, with love, integrity, and intention—and then trust yourself to meet whatever comes next. Care—but don't clutch. Guide—but don't dominate. Lead—but don't micromanage. Love—but don't possess. Prepare—but don't demand certainty. Then loosen the grip. Because maybe surrender isn't losing your power. Maybe it's finally learning where your power belongs. Listen to this episode if you're ready to explore control, trust, surrender, relationships, parenting, leadership, and the freedom that comes from releasing what was never yours to control. Facebook-Just Count Me In Instagram- Just Count Me In Thank you for joining me! If this episode resonates, please share it with a friend who needs a little inspiration today!
