Escape the Paradox

Helena Hickman

Covering: Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma | PTSD | C-PTSD | Trauma Recovery | Emotional and Psychological Abuse Welcome to Escape the Paradox, where I expose the hidden reality of coercive control and domestic violence including psychological, emotional and physical abuse.  I’m Helena, a survivor of childhood abuse. I'm a mental health nursing student and advocate, here to support you in breaking free from the confusion, fear, and isolation that abuse creates.  Home should be the safest place, but for many, it becomes the most dangerous.  In each episode, I share my personal story and dive into my own experiences, as well as survivor experiences, trauma-informed insights, and expert research to help you understand the mechanisms of abuse and begin your healing journey. We’ll explore tactics such as gaslighting, and how abusers wield and seek power and control, not to diagnose, but because naming abuse is the first step in reclaiming your reality.  If you're ready to reconnect with your truth and rebuild your self-worth through clarity and understanding, you’re in the right place.  Follow Escape the Paradox on Threads, Instagram, and TikTok: @escapetheparadox. 

  1. Jun 30

    Psychopathy - Diagnosis

    Send us Fan Mail Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma This will be a two-part episode on Psychopathy. I have used a lot of research on this episode, so this isn't as juicy as you might be hoping! It's very technical and focuses on the diagnostic criteria from a forensic psychiatry perspective. Hopefully you won't find it too boring. References (Mis)understanding Psychopathy: Consequences for Policy and Practice with Offenders, Psychiatry, Psychology and Law.  http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/13218719.2014.960033  Reducing psychopathic violence: A review of the treatment literature. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5868429/  The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson BTK: A Study in Psychopathy. https://scholar.smu.edu/jour/vol7/iss2/5  Differentiating psychopathy from antisocial personality disorder: a triarchic model perspective. doi:10.1017/S003329171300161X  Examining The Associations Between Dsm-5 Section Iii Antisocial Personality Disorder Traits And Psychopathy In Community And University Samples. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24689766/  (Mis)understanding Psychopathy: Consequences for Policy and Practice with Offenders. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/13218719.2014.960033  Psychopathy as a Clinical and Empirical Construct. 10.1146/annurev.clinpsy.3.022806.091452  Psychopathy: A confusing clinical construct. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18387007/  PSYCHO-OLOGY: Killer Mindsets and Meditations on Murder. Psychopathy_and_the_Will_to_Power_Ted_Bundy_and_Dennis_Rader_In_S_Waller_Ed_Serial_Killers_and_Philosophy_Oxford_Blackwell_Publishing  Psychopathy: Assessment and Forensic Implications. https://doi.org/10.1177/070674370905401202  Psychopathic Personality: Bridging the Gap Between Scientific Evidence and Public Policy. DOI: 10.1177/1529100611426706  The Evidentiary Introduction of Psychopathy Checklist-Revised Assessed Psychopathy in U.S. Courts: Extent and Appropriateness. DOI 10.1007/s10979-006-9042-z Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships. Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact. My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support. Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process. E-Mail me! escapetheparadox@outlook.com Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts! Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

    34 min
  2. 12/22/2025

    Borderline Personality Disorder - Diagnosis, Women, and Trauma

    Send us Fan Mail Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma I think you are worth the effort of healing. In this (long) episode, I examine the diagnostic criteria of Borderline Personality Disorder, focusing on how the diagnosis is disproportionately applied to women and deeply intertwined with histories of trauma. It explores how trauma responses are often pathologized, the gendered assumptions embedded in diagnostic practices, and the consequences of mislabeling and stigmatizing distress. References Structural Violence and the Effects of the Patriarchal Structure on the Diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BDP): A Critical Study Using Tools on BPD Symptoms and Social Violence https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/22/2/196   Borderline Personality Disorder and Childhood Trauma: Exploring the Affected Biological Systems and Mechanisms. https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-017-1383-2   Childhood Trauma and Axis I Disorders In Borderline Personality Disorder: A Correlational Study. https://mecp.springeropen.com/articles/10.1186/s43045-025-00511-3   DSM-5 Made Easy. Dsm-5-Tr-Made-Easy-Clinicians-Diagnosis New Professional Practice Guideline for Adults with Complex Trauma Histories https://www.ctipp.org/post/new-professional-practice-guideline-for-adults-with-complex-trauma-histories  Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships. Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact. My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support. Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process. E-Mail me! escapetheparadox@outlook.com Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts! Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

    48 min
  3. 09/12/2025

    Challenge Negative Thoughts about your Worth | During and After Coercive Control, Abuse, Domestic Violence, Childhood Trauma

    Send us Fan Mail Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma I think you are worth the effort of healing.  Worthlessness speaks in absolutes, but that doesn’t make it true. In this episode, I explore what happens when you stop taking the voice at face value and begin challenging the thoughts that try to define you.  This episode isn’t about strategies to overcome negative thoughts. It’s about acknowledging that these thoughts are unhealthy and hold back healing. Acceptance of this as a truth is the first step before any deeper work on changing them can begin.  References: The Bobo Doll Experiment Learn about DBT Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships. Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact. My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support. Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process. E-Mail me! escapetheparadox@outlook.com Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts! Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

    24 min
  4. 06/22/2025

    Smear Campaigns | What They Are, How to Spot Them, and How to Cope

    Send us Fan Mail Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma When you leave an abusive relationship, especially one marked by coercive control, it’s not uncommon for the abuser to launch a smear campaign. This is a deliberate attempt to discredit you, isolate you, and control the narrative after you’ve left. In this episode, I break down what a smear campaign is, the red flags to watch for, and how you can protect your peace without exhausting yourself trying to prove your side.  Together, we will also explore why people often believe the abuser, and how to respond when they do. Whether you're navigating family fallout, social betrayal, or character assassination, this episode offers clarity, validation, and useful tips to help see this through. Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships. Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact. My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support. Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process. E-Mail me! escapetheparadox@outlook.com Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts! Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

    26 min
  5. 05/18/2025

    Feelings of Guilt After Leaving Abusive, Coercive Relationships

    Send us Fan Mail Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma "I feel guilty"  If you’ve escaped coercive control or domestic violence, you’re probably no stranger to guilt. Feeling responsible for the pain your abuser claims to suffer after you leave is common. In this episode, I explore what guilt is, why it's not always trustworthy, and how guilt can also be used by abusers to manipulate.  Your safety and healing come first. You’re not alone, and that guilt doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice.  References The psychophysiology of guilt in healthy adults - This study explored the neurobiology behind the feeling of guilt, and I mention it in the episode. Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships. Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact. My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support. Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process. E-Mail me! escapetheparadox@outlook.com Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts! Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!

    21 min

About

Covering: Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma | PTSD | C-PTSD | Trauma Recovery | Emotional and Psychological Abuse Welcome to Escape the Paradox, where I expose the hidden reality of coercive control and domestic violence including psychological, emotional and physical abuse.  I’m Helena, a survivor of childhood abuse. I'm a mental health nursing student and advocate, here to support you in breaking free from the confusion, fear, and isolation that abuse creates.  Home should be the safest place, but for many, it becomes the most dangerous.  In each episode, I share my personal story and dive into my own experiences, as well as survivor experiences, trauma-informed insights, and expert research to help you understand the mechanisms of abuse and begin your healing journey. We’ll explore tactics such as gaslighting, and how abusers wield and seek power and control, not to diagnose, but because naming abuse is the first step in reclaiming your reality.  If you're ready to reconnect with your truth and rebuild your self-worth through clarity and understanding, you’re in the right place.  Follow Escape the Paradox on Threads, Instagram, and TikTok: @escapetheparadox.