Confessions of a Facilitation Artist

Monica Joy Krol, Creative & On Purpose!
  • 0.0 (0)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

A short, unedited audio supplement to my week newsletter on substack! facilitationartist.substack.com

  1. 1D AGO

    The One Thing - Part 5: The Question You're Avoiding

    Note: Hey all. The blog version is back this week. All of it is derived from the podcast — which goes deeper if you're so inclined. This week we’re diving back into part two (chapters 10-12) of “The One Thing” by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan. This post stands alone — no book required, no previous episodes needed. “There is an art of clearing away the clutter and focusing on what matters. It is simple and transferable. It just requires the courage to take a different approach.” — George Anders Whether I’m facilitating a design sprint, trying to run a business, or just attempting to not completely fall apart as a working mom — clearing away the clutter is the work. Physical clutter. Digital clutter. Mental clutter. All of it. And this section of The ONE Thing gets right to the heart of how you actually do that. It’s three chapters — the Focusing Question, the Success Habit, and the Path to Great Answers — and they all point to the same truth: How we phrase the questions we ask ourselves determines the answers that eventually become our life. Chapter 10: The Focusing Question Before I tell you what the focusing question is, I want to make the case for why the question itself matters so much. When I work with teams — in workshops, in design sprints, in any kind of discovery session — one of the very first things we do is get crystal clear on the questions we’re actually trying to answer. We don’t go straight to solutions. We go to the question first. That’s because if you ask the wrong question, you’ll get the wrong answer. If you’ve ever read or watched The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, you know exactly what I mean. They ask the supercomputer the ultimate question about life, the universe, and everything — and the answer comes back: 42. Completely useless. Why? Because they asked the wrong question. The question wasn’t specific enough. The question didn’t contain the right intent. Sound familiar? So — what IS the focusing question? What’s the one thing I can do, such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary? Deceptively simple, right? But there’s a lot packed in there. The book breaks it into three parts, and so will I: Part 1: “What’s the one thing I can do?” This is your commitment. You don’t get three things. You don’t get a short list. You have to choose. One thing. Not two, not three. That discipline — that act of choosing — is where the real work begins. Part 2: “Such that by doing it...” This is where you have to dig deep. What you pick isn’t just a task — it’s a domino. It’s the first domino in a line of dominoes. And when you push it, it starts knocking everything else over. That’s why it’s so important to get clear on the one thing that actually starts the chain reaction. Part 3: “Everything else will be easier or unnecessary.” This is your payoff. When you find the right thing, you’re not just checking a box — you’re creating momentum. It’s not one task. It’s the onset of a whole path clearing in front of you. Big Picture vs. Small Focus The book maps this out visually — a big outer circle for your big-picture question, and a dot at the center for your small focus question. (I’ll include a visual of this.) The big picture question sounds like: What’s my one thing for growing my business this year? The small focus question sounds like: What’s my one thing right now, today? I actually use both — and I’ve added a third layer. I set a big-picture intention, then I work in monthly cycles (sometimes aligned to the lunar calendar, because yes, I’m that person) to check in on whether I need to adjust my direction. And each morning, I ask myself: What’s my one thing today? A quick confession: I technically have two “one things” each day — one for my health, one for my business. And I think that’s okay, because they are completely distinct areas of my life. The book actually validates this, which brings us to chapter 11. Chapter 11: The Success Habit This chapter is about making the focusing question a habit — not a one-time exercise, but a foundational daily practice. The research they reference says it takes about 66 days to truly form a habit. I’ve been doing this consistently for about 30 days, so I’m halfway there. (And yes, every time I say “halfway there,” Bon Jovi starts playing in my head. I can’t help it. It’s a whole thing.) The book introduces something here that I’ve talked about before: the Wheel of Life. It’s a framework for mapping out the different areas of your life — spiritual, health, personal, relationships, job, business, finances — and applying the focusing question to the ones that matter most right now. You don’t have to ask the focusing question in every area every single day. But you do want to be intentional about which areas you’re prioritizing, and honest with yourself about which ones you can let slip for a season. Right now for me, it’s business and health. I have goals pulling me forward in both, and I’ve learned the hard way that I can’t let the health ball drop. The success habit also comes with a rule that someone in one of my Deep Work Days Q&As really needed to hear — and honestly, maybe you do too: Your one thing should be the first thing you do. Everything you do before it is a distraction wearing productivity as clothing. If something is truly your number one priority, why are you waiting until the end of the day to do it? Do the one thing first. Then let the rest of the day happen. (Full disclosure: I recorded this podcast before doing my own one thing for business today. I contain multitudes. Progress, not perfection.) Chapter 12: The Path to Great Answers This is my favorite part — because this is where productivity meets facilitation meets my work as a product leader. It all comes together here. The Four Quadrants The book introduces four quadrants to help you figure out what kind of question you’re actually asking: * Small & Broad — weak question, low bar, won’t stretch you * Big & Broad — better, but too vague to act on * Small & Specific — targeted, but not ambitious enough for extraordinary results (this is where a lot of us get stuck — we’re basically just writing a to-do list) * Big & Specific — the sweet spot Here’s their example: “What can I do to increase sales this year?” That’s small and broad. Fine, but not exciting. Now change it to: “What can I do to double sales in the next six months?” That second question forces you out of your normal playbook. You can’t just do more of the same and get there. You have to actually think differently. The specificity creates urgency. The ambition creates stretch. That’s what a big, specific question does — it makes ordinary answers impossible. The Three Horizons Once you have a great question, the answer you reach for matters just as much. The book frames this in three levels — and if you’re in product management, this is going to sound very familiar. Doable → Horizon 1 (Defend the Core) Small, incremental improvements. Feature enhancements. Keeping the lights on. These are valuable — they compound over time and keep clients happy. But they are not going to get you extraordinary results. They’re not designed to. Stretch → Horizon 2 (Emerging Offerings) This is where you start thinking beyond what people asked for, and into what they actually need. If you start noticing themes in problems your product didn’t intend to solve or workarounds in your product, this can be a flag to consider to think about an emerging offering. Suddenly you’re solving a completely different, and sometimes more meaningful problem. Possibility → Horizon 3 (Innovation) This is where most people get scared and retreat back to the doable. And I get it. I see it constantly with the product managers I coach. So many PMs start out as Horizon 1 thinkers — they’ve been rewarded for that, they’ve been trained for it. My whole goal when I work with people is to help them stretch into Horizon 2 and 3 thinking. But here’s what I see happen: we get into possibility space together, people get genuinely excited, and then the sprint ends and they retreat right back to safe. Safe things and certain things will absolutely move the needle. In small ways. But if you want extraordinary results — for your product, your business, your life — you have to be willing to go beyond the doable. As the book puts it: “a possibility answer exists beyond what is already known and being done.” Search for Clues Here’s what I love about how the book approaches this: before you even try to solve a problem, there’s a step that often gets skipped. It’s one of my favorite things we do in design sprints — Lightning Demos. I give teams 15–20 minutes to go out into the world and look for examples of how similar problems have been solved — not just in their industry, but everywhere. Because copying what a competitor did is only useful if that competitor was thinking at the right horizon. If they were playing small, you’re just inheriting their limitations. The richest inspiration often comes from completely different contexts. I was recently working on something in the higher education space, and one of the most generative insights we found came from health monitoring apps. Completely different industry — but the way they help individuals make decisions about their health gave us a whole new framework for thinking about our problem. That’s what cross-industry research unlocks. Don’t limit yourself to the obvious sources. Look for clues. Ask bold questions. And don’t retreat to Horizon 1 when things get uncomfortable. The Big Takeaway Chapters 10, 11, and 12 all point to the same truth: The quality of your question determines the quality of your results. Ask a small, vague question — get a small, ordinary answer. A

    26 min

  2. MAR 1

    The One Thing - Part 4: The Big Bad Lie about Work-Life Balance

    Right now, my priority is the podcast over polished Substack posts due to time constraints as a busy working mom—listen for the full, unedited conversation! In this episode of Confessions of a Facilitation Artist, I dive into chapters 8 and 9 of The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan, busting the myths of “a balanced life” and “big is bad.” What I Talked About I share raw reflections on shifting from full-time work to part-time (25 hours/week) to build The Meeting Kitchen while prioritizing family time with my boys (ages 6 and 10). I navigate tensions amid personal losses—my sister’s terminal cancer, a neighbor’s death, a friend’s illness, and my former CEO’s passing—highlighting life’s fragility at age 47. Despite seeking balance, I grind harder in AI product innovation and business growth, questioning my path. Key Insights * Counterbalancing over balance: Ditch static “work-life balance” for intentional swings—like a ballerina’s micro-adjustments or a pendulum—leaning into extremes seasonally for extraordinary results, without neglecting health or relationships long-term. * Glass vs. rubber balls: Prioritize irreplaceable “glass” balls (family, health, integrity); work balls bounce back, so focus trade-offs within work for high-impact priorities. * Big is bad myth: Small actions yield small outcomes; fearing big dreams sabotages success—I confess my pull to “safe” AI skill-building might avoid bolder moves for The Meeting Kitchen. Questions to Ponder * Where am I staying “safely in the middle” instead of leaning into an extreme for a season? * What are my glass balls that can’t be dropped? * Where might fear whisper “big is bad,” and what would doubling one goal look like? What’s next? I’ll be back next week with part two of The One Thing, and perhaps I’ll bring back the blog version, but let me know if you miss it. Thanks! Confessions of a Facilitation Artist is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Confessions of a Facilitation Artist at facilitationartist.substack.com/subscribe

    30 min

  3. FEB 22

    The One Thing - Part 3: Breaking News: Discipline & Willpower Are BS!

    Quick Note: This Week is Podcast-OnlyHey everyone. I’ve decided NOT to create a blog version in Substack because writing that is just not my one thing right now. If you really want to follow along, definitely I encourage you to listen to the podcast. Maybe I’ll bring back the full Substack, but I’m just giving you the cliff’s notes today. In this episode, I share how I’m applying The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan—turning to-do lists into success lists and focusing on my “one thing” to promote my upcoming training. I walk through my real example: battling LinkedIn events (which I hate) to set up registrations that flow straight into my CRM. Shoutout to Jakub from Pont Studio and his Webinar Sprint course for the tip—it worked, with two strangers signing up right away. Key Insights from Chapters 6-7 Chapter 6: A Disciplined LifeI don’t see myself as “disciplined” everywhere (evenings? Nope). But the book nails it: success isn’t about total discipline—it’s a short sprint to build the right habits. It takes about 66 days on average. You only need targeted discipline for what matters most. (Mark Manson example: messy life, but laser-focused book-writing.) Chapter 7: Willpower Is Always On Will-CallWillpower is like a phone battery—peaks early for me, gone by evening (hello, snacking defaults). Do your ONE Thing when charged, before decision fatigue hits. Personal Updates & Takeaways * The blog version of this substack (even with AI helping) isn’t my top priority right now. * Action steps: Build tiny habits (66 days/reps), track your energy peaks, schedule your ONE Thing first. Free Training! Join my free training Your Meetings Don’t Have To Suck next Thursday (90 min: 60 min content + Q&A). Steal my recipe for killer meetings—perfect for facilitators or anyone fed up with bad ones. https://mk.themeetingkitchen.com/meetingsworkshop See you next week for the last two lies from Part One. See you then! Get full access to Confessions of a Facilitation Artist at facilitationartist.substack.com/subscribe

    20 min

  4. FEB 15

    The One Thing - Part 2: The Lie That Everything Matters Equally

    Hello, everyone! If you are reading this in real time, Happy Valentine’s Day. Last week I kicked off a series on The ONE Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan. We discussed the first three chapters. This week we are talking about chapters 4 and 5, which is part of Part One: The Lies: They Lead Us and Derail Us. Don’t worry, you don’t need to read the book unless you choose, and you don’t need to listen to all episodes. Each podcast/blog is meant to stand alone with its own insight and small experiments you can try. New here? Subscribe to follow the full ONE Thing series. It’s all FREE here! Lie #1: “Everything Matters Equally” Chapter 4 opens with a line I’m going to quote directly from the book: “Equality is a lie. Understanding this is the basis of all great decisions.” The chapter asks one deceptively simple question:When you have a lot to do in a day, how do you decide what to do first? Most of us don’t really decide. We react. We start with email, meetings, messages, or whatever is loudest. For me, the roles pile up quickly: I’m a mom, I run a home (hello, endless laundry), I cook most of our meals, I’m growing a business, and I have this podcast I’m still trying to understand in relation to my “one thing.” If you’re on an entrepreneurial path, you probably know that feeling that the work never ends and you’re always behind. The authors talk about how “achievers” operate differently. They write that: “Achievers always work from a clear sense of priority.” They pause long enough to ask what actually matters most, and then they let that answer drive their day. They’re willing to delay or drop things that aren’t essential. To explain this, they bring in the 80/20 Principle (the Pareto Principle): “A minority of causes, inputs and effort usually lead to a majority of results, outputs and rewards… A small amount of causes create most of the results.” If roughly 20% of what you do creates 80% of your results, the real work is to identify that vital 20%. Next, you narrow even further to your one most important thing. The book makes a really helpful distinction: * Your to‑do list is everything you could do. * Your success list is the tiny set of things you must do to move forward. I’m excellent at the “checkoff game”—even writing things down after I’ve done them just so I can cross them off. It feels good, but it doesn’t always move what actually matters. One of my favorite questions, from Michael Bungay Stanier’s The Coaching Habit, is: “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?” You are always saying no to something. The power comes from choosing those nos intentionally. The book sums it up simply: “Regardless, doing the most important thing is always the most important thing.” Lie #2: “Multitasking Works” The second lie in this part of the book is multitasking. I’ll admit: in some contexts, I do advocate a gentle kind of “layering”—like walking during a meeting, where your brain is focused on the conversation and your body is just doing something supportive. I talk about that in my Deep Work Days micro‑course and in what I call “brown meetings.” But when it comes to real focus work, I’m firmly with the authors: multitasking is a trap. They say it bluntly: “Multitasking is a lie. It’s a lie because nearly everyone accepts it as an effective thing to do.” We borrowed the idea from computers, but humans don’t work like that. We’re not truly doing two demanding tasks at once; we’re switching back and forth, and every switch costs us time and energy. The book explains that: * Task switching has a real cognitive cost, even if it doesn’t feel that way in the moment. * The more we switch away from a task, the less likely we are to come fully back to it. * Multitasking doesn’t actually save time; it stretches the time it takes to finish anything. I see this constantly at work. People answer Slack messages in one‑on‑one meetings where full presence really matters. When someone does that while I’m speaking, what I feel is: this time isn’t valuable to you. It also quietly erodes trust. As a manager, my one‑on‑ones with direct reports are their time. If I kept Slack open “just in case,” I’d be robbing them of my attention. This is part of why I care so deeply about workshops and design sprints. One engineering lead once told me that what he loved most about a sprint week was that, for once, he wasn’t constantly context switching. He could just focus with his team on solving a problem. That’s rare—and powerful. The book’s message here is: * Distraction is human. Don’t shame yourself. * But multitasking always takes a toll, on both your results and your relationships. * Trying to do too much at once often leads to doing nothing well. To really live out the principle of The ONE Thing, you can’t keep believing that doing two important things at once is a good idea. You might be able to attempt it, but you can’t do it effectively. Two Tiny Experiments for This Week You know I love moving from insight to action, so here are two simple experiments you can try: * Create a mini “success list.” * Write down everything on your mind for the day. * Circle just a few items that truly matter most. * Then star the one most important thing—and do that first, before email, Slack, and reactive work. * Protect one block from multitasking. * Choose a 30–60 minute window. * Close Slack and email, silence your phone, and decide: “This is my one thing for this block.” * Notice how it feels and what you get done compared to your usual scattered time. If finding that block feels impossible right now, that’s a signal in itself. It might be time to rework your calendar, which is exactly what I help people do in my Deep Work Days micro‑course. One More Lie (About Meetings) Since this episode lands around February 14th, I also want to mention a free, interactive workshop I’m running soon: Your Meetings Don’t Have to Suck (Sign Up)Date: Thursday, February 26Time: 12:00 PM ET/ 11 AM CT/ 9 AM PT It’s not a slide-heavy webinar; it’s a hands‑on session where you’ll learn how to make meetings shorter, more purposeful, more effective, and more engaging, even if you’re not the one officially “running” them. I’d love to hear what you choose as your one thing this week, and how your no‑multitasking block goes. Share in the Substack comments so we can learn from each other’s experiments. Thank you for spending part of your one life working on your one thing with me. Get full access to Confessions of a Facilitation Artist at facilitationartist.substack.com/subscribe

    18 min

  5. FEB 8

    The One Thing - Part 1: Searching for My One Thing

    Happy February! I started Confessions of a Facilitation Artist and this Substack as a simple practice: show up for what I’m curious about. Over time, it’s become a place where my worlds of facilitation, art, and product leadership intersect with my love of self‑development and purposeful productivity. Lately, I’ve been in a bit of an identity wobble with this podcast and newsletter. I love showing up here every week, but I’m still figuring out where it fits in my larger business, The Meeting Kitchen. Is this my one thing—or a beautiful side project? I don’t know yet, and I’m okay figuring that out in public with you. Confessions of a Facilitation Artist is a reader-supported publication. Subscribe to follow this ONE Thing series. Why The ONE Thing, and Why Now For February and March, we’re walking through The ONE Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan together. This isn’t a strict book club—you don’t have to be reading along—but each week I’m: * quoting a few short passages from the book, * sharing how they’re landing in my own work and life, and * inviting you to experiment with them in your context. The first three chapters set the foundation: * The ONE Thing / Start Small * The Domino Effect * Success Leaves Clues I first read the book two or three years ago and loved it. Its ideas quietly shaped how I think about focus, and then I drifted (as we do). Coming back now, I feel impatient because I know there’s deeper wisdom later in the book—but these early chapters answer a crucial question: why does a “one thing” even matter? The book opens with this line: “Be like a postage stamp—stick to one thing until you get there.” —Josh Billings Most of us live in an idea‑rich, opportunity‑rich world. We have long lists of things we want to do, create, launch, and experience. That’s beautiful—and it also makes it hard (and a little scary) to decide what truly deserves our full focus. The Power of Going Small At one point, Gary Keller hit a breaking point and decided to go as small as possible with his focus. He writes: “Finally, out of desperation, I went as small as I could possibly go and asked, ‘What’s the ONE Thing you can do this week such that by doing it, everything else would be easier or unnecessary?’ And the most awesome thing happened: results went through the roof… Where I had huge success, I had narrowed my concentration to one thing, and where my success varied, my focus had too.” That’s Chapter 1 in a nutshell: the power of going small. He defines “small” this way: “Small is ignoring all of the things that you could do and doing what you should do. It’s recognizing that not all things matter equally and finding the things that matter most. It’s a tighter way to connect what you do and what you want. It’s realizing that extraordinary results are directly determined by how narrow you can make your focus.” Two phrases I keep coming back to are “extraordinary results” and “how narrow you can make your focus.” We tend to assume that doing more will create more results. This book invites us to flip that: what if doing less and going all‑in on one meaningful thing actually leads to deeper, more satisfying outcomes? In my Intention to Action Workshop I led last week, I borrowed directly from this. I invited participants to list everything that’s holding them back from acting on their intention. Then I asked them to choose one blocker—the one that, if addressed, would make many of the other obstacles easier or irrelevant. That becomes their “one thing” for the season. People often say that simple step suddenly makes their next move feel obvious. The Domino Effect Chapter 2 introduces the domino effect as a visual for how focused action compounds over time. Each domino contains a small amount of potential energy. When you line them up, that potential multiplies. But you still only need to push the first one. In workshops, I’ll often ask:“What’s your first domino?”What is the one action that, if you did it first or did it consistently, would start knocking down a row of other tasks, fears, or excuses? Here’s how Keller and Papasan describe it: “When you think about success, shoot for the moon. The moon is reachable if you prioritize everything and put all of your energy into accomplishing the most important thing. Getting extraordinary results is all about creating a domino effect. Every day you line up your priorities, find the lead domino, and whack away at it until it falls. Over time, success is built sequentially. It’s one thing at a time.” When I look at this Substack and podcast, I can see that domino effect. I started the newsletter in fall 2024 and told just a few friends and family. I committed to posting whether or not the audience was big. In January 2025, I added the podcast to challenge myself to speak more freely and show up consistently. I haven’t had explosive growth. But I do have around 400 people who open, read, and listen regularly. That didn’t happen from one magic moment; it came from one post, one episode, one weekend at a time. If you’re reading this and you’re not subscribed yet—but you’re curious about this book and this “one thing” experiment—maybe subscribing (or forwarding this to a friend) is your first little domino today. Success Leaves Clues Chapter 3, “Success Leaves Clues,” is about noticing the patterns underneath success. Once you understand the idea of a one thing, you start to see it everywhere. The book points out that if a company doesn’t know its one thing, then its one thing is to figure that out. Those are the questions I’m actively sitting with in my own work right now, and that I build into my new micro-course Deep Work Days: * What’s energizing me? * What’s draining me? * Where could focus create a compounding effect instead of burnout? The chapter also reminds us that no one is self‑made. It talks about mentors and role models—the “one person” whose influence is outsized in our story. Sometimes it’s the person who believes in you at the right time; sometimes it’s the one who lovingly challenges you to act. Some of you have told me this podcast/ blog feels like a sort of mentorship space for you. That honestly means so much. I don’t see myself as a capital‑M Mentor, but I love the idea that this can be one steady, supportive voice in your growth—one domino, one episode, one post at a time. The chapter ends with this line: “The ONE Thing shows up time and again in the lives of the successful because it’s a fundamental truth. It showed up for me, and if you let it, it will show up for you too. Applying the ONE Thing to your work and in your life is the simplest and smartest thing that you can do to propel yourself towards the success you want.” I’m here for that. I want more focus, more alignment, and more intention in how I spend this one life. Your One Thing This Week I’ll leave you with the question the book keeps bringing us back to: “What is the ONE thing you can do this week such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?” Name it. Write it down. Treat it like your first domino. And if meetings are one of the places where your energy leaks out the fastest, you might enjoy my upcoming FREE workshop: Your Meeting Don’t Have To Suck! (Sign Up Here!) When: Thursday, February 26th at 12 pm ET / 11am CT / 9am PTDuration: 90 minutes LIVE (interactive)Platform: Zoom (link sent upon registration)What to Bring: Your awesome self! In the next post and episode, I’ll dive into the first two “lies” from Part 1 of The ONE Thing: “Everything Matters Equally” and “Multitasking.” Until then, keep asking: “What’s the ONE Thing I can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?” Confessions of a Facilitation Artist is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Confessions of a Facilitation Artist at facilitationartist.substack.com/subscribe

    21 min

  6. FEB 1

    The ONE Thing I’ll Never Forget From This Week

    Hey everyone! What a week! I’ve been facilitating my second design sprint of the year, putting the finishing touches on my Deep Work Days micro‑course, and riding the energy of an incredible From Intention to Action workshop on Friday. Thank you so much to everyone who showed up, engaged, and trusted me with your time. Even with all of those bright spots, there was ONE quiet moment this week that completely rocked my world—and that’s what today’s post is about. Today you’ll learn: * How fear can suddenly show up like a “veil” and steal the color from an ordinary moment * Why my default response to fear (taking action) was actually keeping me from being present * The tiny inner script that helped me say “no, thank you” to panic without changing a single external thing * How a simple gratitude practice made it possible to notice fear and choose again * A practical way you can experiment with this the next time you feel paralyzed by risk If you’d rather listen to the full, unedited story, you can always catch this episode of Confessions of a Facilitation Artist on Substack, or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts for the more human, non‑AI version. The Veil of Fear Earlier this week, during a very normal Monday night ravioli dinner with my husband and boys, I had a not‑so‑normal inner experience. One minute, everything felt bright and in full color—kids talking, plates clinking, the usual chaos. The next, it was as if a gray veil of dread started sliding down over everything. Inside that veil was familiar panic:What if my business doesn’t work?What if these workshops don’t land?What if I’m not doing enough, or I am enough, but it still fails? My default pattern with fear is to take action. I usually cope by doing: tweaking an offer, sending another email, planning the next thing so I don’t have to feel the knot of anxiety in my chest. It’s productive, but it quietly pulls me out of the life that’s happening right in front of me. On this particular night, I couldn’t (and didn’t want to) spring into action. I was sitting at the table with my family. One of my kids was mid‑story. The veil was dropping, and I could feel it trying to drag me away from that moment and back into my head. Then a very clear thought cut through the noise: “There is no point in feeling this way right now. This fear is not serving me.” And instead of leaping into doing, I tried something different. I answered the fear, in my mind, with three simple words: “No, thank you.” I didn’t mean, “Fear, you’re banished forever.” I meant, “You don’t get this moment.” I stayed in my chair. I stayed in the conversation. I didn’t change a single external thing. And the best way I can describe what happened is this: the gray veil lifted. The room was in color again. Same dinner. Same business risks. Different relationship to the fear. People sometimes say I’m overly optimistic, like I’m just walking around with rose‑colored glasses, assuming it will all work out. But that choice didn’t feel naive or fluffy. It felt deeply grounded. Letting fear consume the evening wouldn’t have made my business safer or stronger. It just would have stolen one more ordinary, irreplaceable moment with my family. Gratitude as the Quiet Backbone That moment didn’t come out of nowhere. Over the last month, I’ve been intensely building a simple gratitude practice: noticing and naming what I’m thankful for in real time. My family. My health. The clients and leaders who trust me. The people who show up for free workshops. The tiny, imperfect signs that this work is gaining traction. Because gratitude has been in the background, I could feel the contrast when fear tried to take over. Gratitude said, “Look at what’s here.” Fear said, “Look at what could go wrong.” Being rooted in gratitude didn’t erase the risk, but it gave me enough stability to see the fear clearly and decide not to hand it the microphone. That, I think, is why I could witness the veil, pause, and choose again—rather than automatically obeying the panic and racing off to “fix” something. What This Season Is Teaching Me I’ve done scary things before: skiing a hill that intimidated me, saying yes to opportunities that stretched me. But entrepreneurship is a different flavor of fear. The stakes feel higher—time, money, reputation, identity all tangled together. There are no guaranteed outcomes. And yet, that Monday night realization confirmed something important: I am exactly where I want to be. Even when results don’t look the way I imagined, I’m getting this unexpected curriculum in: * Noticing when fear is making everything go gray * Separating “this is risky” from “I am not safe” * Choosing presence and trust before I have proof that everything will work out The work that lights me up—like the From Intention to Action workshop, and launching the Deep Work Days micro-course—comes from this more grounded, trusting version of me, not the frantic one who is trying to out‑work her fear. Try This the Next Time Your Fear Shows Up If you recognize your own patterns in any of this, here’s a simple way to experiment with your next “veil of fear” moment: * Notice the veilWhen everything suddenly feels heavier and more hopeless, name it: “Oh, this is fear dropping in.” * Thank it for trying to helpQuietly acknowledge: “You’re trying to protect me. I see that.” * Ask what it’s stealingIn this exact moment, what is fear pulling you away from? A conversation? Deep work? Rest? Play? * Set a gentle boundaryTry my tiny script: “No, thank you. You don’t get this moment.” Then, resist the urge to immediately “fix” or “do.” * Ground in gratitudeName three specific things you’re grateful for right now—in the same room, in the same minute. Let them bring the color back. It’s a subtle shift, but it’s powerful: moving from “I must act to stop this fear” to “I can feel this fear and still choose to stay.” That’s the muscle I’m building, one dinner, one workshop, one risk at a time. What’s Next? Next week, I’m bringing back a book focus that I personally need in this season: The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan. I’ll be centering a few episodes around it, starting with chapters 1 and 2 next week. You don’t have to read along, but if you’re juggling a lot and craving focus, you might want to. And if this story resonated, I’d love it if you’d share it with a friend or colleague who’s also learning to notice their own veil of fear—and choose again. Get full access to Confessions of a Facilitation Artist at facilitationartist.substack.com/subscribe

    17 min

  7. JAN 25

    I Was Almost Too Scared to Hit Publish

    Before you read…This post is the short, tidy version of this week’s Confessions of a Facilitation Artist episode. If you want the full emotional arc—including why I was genuinely afraid to hit publish this week—go listen to the episode for the raw, unedited story behind the words. Today’s Topic: Workshopping Yourself Today I’m talking about workshopping yourself: using the same tools we bring to groups to gently reset your own story, state, and next steps. In this post, you’ll: * Learn why “strategy” isn’t enough when you feel stuck. * See how I used a simple self-workshop on a very wobbly night in my business. * Get a tiny framework you can use this week to move from intention to action. The Core Insight When we’re stuck, we usually ask, “What’s my plan?” instead of, “What’s my story?” Here’s the simple trio I use that I learned from Tony Robbins (yes, Tony Robbins): * State: How you’re showing up right now (nervous, numb, energized). A two-minute reset—walk, stretch, shake, dance—helps you actually arrive in your own life. * Story: The narrative you’re telling yourself about who you are and what’s possible (“I’m behind,” “I’m not cut out for this,” or “I can do hard things”). * Strategy: The concrete steps you’ll take next. Strategy works after you’ve tended to state and story, not before. When I recently launched a new offer and found myself obsessing over email stats and fantasizing about retreating back to safety of a full-time job. I realized I didn’t need one more tactic. I needed a new story about who I am while I do hard things. My Own “Workshop Yourself” Moment On the last night of my Deep Work Days email campaign, I sat down and asked myself: “What do I actually want here—and why?” I started with:“I want to be a successful artist, facilitator and speaker.” Then I asked “Why?” a few times until I hit the real stuff: * I want people to stop sleepwalking through their days. * I want my family and clients to see what’s possible when we live by design, not default. * I want to reclaim time and joy for myself and for the people I serve. From there, I rewrote my story as:“I am strong, I am steady, and I am successful.” Strong: I can do hard, stretchy things…emotionally, mentally, physically, etc.Steady: I choose groundedness over emotional whiplash.Successful: I measure success by integrity and impact, not just metrics. That one sentence didn’t solve everything, but it changed how I showed up: less frantic, more present, and more willing to keep going. How To Workshop Yourself (In 10 Minutes) Here’s a super simple version you can try this week: * Pick one areaChoose a single area of your life that’s calling for attention—work, health, creativity, money, relationships, or fun. You can use this wheel of life tool to help. * Name what you wantWrite one clear line: “I want to…” (launch the thing, feel less overwhelmed, move my body, reconnect with friends). * Ask “Why?” five timesUnderneath your sentence, write “Why?” and answer it. Then ask “Why?” again. Do this about five times until you hit a reason that feels honest and almost tender. * Rewrite your story in the presentTurn it into an “I am…” statement that feels like your next, truer version: * “I am healthy and energetic.” * “I am focused and spacious with my time.” * “I am strong, steady, and successful.” * Choose one tiny actionAsk: “If this story were true today, what is one small step I would take in the next 24–48 hours?” Make it so small it’s almost impossible not to do. Pro Tip: Working with your LLM (e.g. Perplexity, ChatGPT) of choice can really help in step 4! Your Next Step If you’re craving a little structure and companionship for this, I’m hosting a FREE LIVE “workshop yourself” session where I’ll guide you through this process and help you turn your story into a short, doable action plan. Between now and then, your invitation is simple:Pick one area, ask yourself “Why?” a few times, and write one present-tense story you’re willing to practice believing. Then take a single, tiny step that aligns with it. Get full access to Confessions of a Facilitation Artist at facilitationartist.substack.com/subscribe

    26 min

  8. JAN 16

    Steal This 1 Daily Trick to Make Time & Joy Daily

    Hey everyone, I’m releasing this podcast episode and companion post early because I didn’t want you to miss a special announcement coming Sunday the 18th. Just fill out this quick founding member form, and you’ll get an email straight to your inbox with the first look at Deep Work Days, including a massive discount and exclusive bonuses. Also, while this blog version distills the key insights into a tight why/what/how format, but for the full experience—with all the quirky, vulnerable stories with memorable insights—listen to the pod. I intentionally keep episodes around 20 minutes or less so they fit right into your day. Alright, onto today’s topic! Choosing one daily Highlight has quietly changed how I work, parent, and move through my days. Instead of treating my calendar like an endless to‑do list, I now give myself one tiny green box—a Highlight—that says, “If I do this, today counts.” Why I choose a daily Highlight Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky , authors of Make Time, explain that the sweet spot for satisfaction is in activities that sit between long-term goals and tiny tasks. They write, “We believe focusing on activities that fall between long-term goals and short-term tasks is the key to slowing down, bringing satisfaction to your daily life, and helping you make time. Long-term goals point us in a direction, but they can make it hard to enjoy the work along the way. Endless tasks keep us busy, but without a focal point, “they fly by in a forgettable haze.” Their invitation—and now mine—is simple: begin each day by asking, “What do I want the highlight of my day to be?” What a Highlight looks like for me In my Google Calendar, I pick one activity and color it emerald green, because green means growth to me. Sometimes it is deep focus on a project or lesson I’m creating; other days it is a walk with friends (hello Abby Marin and Leanna), a kids’ concert, or game night. Often, it’s gloriously ordinary. Recently, my Saturday Highlight was cleaning out my fridge, which had been quietly stressing me out for months. No one is clapping for that on the internet, but the wave of peace I feel every time I open the door and can actually see what’s inside is real. That one act removed a layer of background anxiety I hadn’t fully noticed. When the real Highlight surprises me Not every Highlight is planned. I’m currently doing a 28‑day gratitude practice using The Magic by Rhonda Byrne, where each night I review my day and choose the one moment I’m most grateful for. One night, despite having a couple of “calendar highlights,” the moment that broke me open was helping my six‑year‑old with his reading. It was messy and emotionally hard, not a cozy storybook scene. I’ve wondered if he might have a learning disability like me, and that question can make every phonics lesson feel heavy. That night, though, I realized how grateful I was to be in it with him—to be his person in the struggle—and I cried. I usually don’t often feel that kind of gratitude in tough parenting, and I’ve long believed parents who do are unicorns and that I’m an inferior species by comparison. That moment showed me that a Highlight isn’t always pretty; sometimes it’s the moment you stayed present in the mess and loved someone through it, including yourself. How you can start your own Highlight practice Knapp and Zeratsky suggest beginning each day by asking what you hope will be the “bright spot.” “If, at the end of the day, someone asks you, ‘What was the highlight of your day?’ what do you want your answer to be? When you look back on your day, what activity or accomplishment or moment do you want to savor? That’s your Highlight.” Here’s a simple way to try it: * Look at your day and choose one thing that will make life feel lighter, more joyful, or more meaningful. * Put it on your calendar and mark it visually (green, if you like the growth symbolism as much as I do). * At the end of the day, notice: Was that truly the highlight, or did an unexpected moment steal the show? Let that inform tomorrow’s choice. Deep work, at least for me, isn’t about squeezing more in; it’s about choosing what matters and giving it the best of my attention. One small green block at a time. Experience Highlights in Deep Work Days If designing your days around one meaningful Highlight resonates, I invite you to join Deep Work Days, my upcoming micro-course that turns this practice—and other calendar-shaping tools—into a repeatable rhythm for busy leaders like you.​ The presell opens Sunday the 18th with founding member pricing (a massive discount) plus exclusive bonuses. Fill out the founding member form today, and you’ll get the invite straight to your inbox on the 18th—before anyone else. One green block at a time, let’s make space for what actually matters. Get full access to Confessions of a Facilitation Artist at facilitationartist.substack.com/subscribe

    19 min
See All (65)

About

A short, unedited audio supplement to my week newsletter on substack! facilitationartist.substack.com

Information