Spiritual Infinity

"Spiritual Infinity: Where stories of spiritual awakening inspire your own transformative journey, hosted by Zenzi Sewaah."
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Spiritual Infinity is your gateway to deeper self-awareness, transformation, and connection with the limitless power within. Hosted by Zenzi Sewaah, Through inspiring conversations with guest speakers from around the world, we uncover personal journeys of spiritual awakening, the methods that transformed their lives, and how these practices can empower you. Whether you’re seeking healing, enlightenment, or a greater understanding of the universe, Spiritual Infinity provides wisdom and insights to support your journey. Join us as we navigate the infinite possibilities of spirituality, one episode at a time. zenzisewaah.substack.com

  1. 18h ago

    Beyond “Man Up”: Jason Fierstein on Men’s Mental Health, Identity & Emotional Strength

    In this episode of Spiritual Infinity, I speak with Jason Fierstein, counsellor, psychotherapist and founder of Phoenix Men’s Counselling in Arizona, about the pressures many men carry beneath the surface. Drawing on both his professional work and his own experiences with identity, relationships and depression, Jason explores why understanding who you are—and developing emotional awareness and vulnerability—can be fundamental to a healthier life. Our conversation looks at the stigma that still surrounds men seeking therapy, as well as the changing expectations placed upon men within relationships and family life. Jason argues that the traditional role of provider is no longer enough: modern relationships also require communication, emotional presence, vulnerability and shared responsibility—skills many men were simply never taught. We also explore male friendship, loneliness and the ways depression can sometimes appear as withdrawal or escapism. Jason highlights the importance of creating space for men to speak without feeling criticised or judged, while also encouraging men themselves to take responsibility for their mental and emotional wellbeing. Ultimately, this conversation asks us to reconsider what strength really means. Perhaps becoming a stronger man begins not with enduring everything alone, but with learning to speak, listen, connect and ask for help. Closing Reflection Perhaps we need to retire the idea that a strong man is the man who needs nothing from anyone. Strength can also be the courage to say, “I’m struggling.” It can mean listening to the people who care about us, allowing ourselves to be known, and recognising that emotional awareness does not diminish masculinity—it enlarges our humanity. Jason leaves us with a simple but important message: take the risk and ask for help. A healthier relationship, family or life requires work, but we must first believe that our wellbeing—and we ourselves—are worth that work. — Zenzi SewaahFounder & Spiritual Visionary, Spiritual Infinity Guest Bio & Contact Details Jason Fierstein is a counsellor and psychotherapist based in Phoenix, Arizona, and owner of Phoenix Men’s Counselling, where he works with men and the challenges they face in contemporary life. His work includes individual, marriage and couples counselling, addressing areas such as identity, relationships, depression, emotional awareness and men’s mental health. Website: phoenixmenscounseling.com Jason also offers a blog and a free e-book on men and relationships through the Phoenix Men’s Counselling website. Get full access to Zenzi’s Substack at zenzisewaah.substack.com/subscribe

  2. 5d ago

    You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone | Neil Tricarico on Losing His Son, Grief & Post-Traumatic Growth

    There are some losses for which language will never be enough. In this deeply moving episode of Spiritual Infinity, I speak with Neil Tricarico, a father whose 16-year-old son, Anthony, died by suicide after struggling with depression and suicidality alongside his experience of autism. Yet this is not simply a conversation about death. It is about a father’s grief, the emotional conditioning of men, neurodiversity, spirituality, community and what can happen when unimaginable pain gradually becomes a calling to serve others. Neil describes his life before Anthony’s death as one filled largely with joy. He and his wife, Samara, were raising their son Anthony—known as Ant—and their daughter, Belina, when Anthony was diagnosed with high-functioning autism. There were challenges the family had been prepared for. They were told Anthony might struggle socially or experience bullying. Instead, he developed many friendships and worked hard to connect with others. What Neil and his wife had not been prepared for were the mental-health challenges that could emerge. During the COVID period, when Anthony was around 14, he fell into a deep depression and began experiencing suicidal thoughts. Crucially, he told a close friend, who told his mother, who then alerted Anthony’s parents. That disclosure began an intensive two-year journey as the family tried to support him. Anthony himself wanted to live. He was even planning to devote his senior-year project to challenging the stigma surrounding suicide. Tragically, at 16½, Anthony died by suicide. For Neil, the loss is not something that can be neatly described as something he has “gotten over.” He speaks about waking in the morning and, for a few fleeting moments, feeling as though everything has been a terrible dream—before realising that the nightmare is the reality into which he has awakened. But something else began happening within that grief. Neil describes experiencing a profound spiritual or soul awakening and gradually discovering the possibility of transforming—or, as he puts it, transmuting—pain into purpose. His family’s experience led to the creation of The Endurant Movement, a nonprofit dedicated to helping ensure that teenagers, neurodivergent or otherwise, do not feel unseen. The organisation is working towards safe community spaces for young people who may be struggling but have not yet reached the point of crisis—a place where pressure can come down, where they can simply be themselves and where belonging does not depend upon achievement. Neil is particularly passionate about increasing awareness of the relationship between neurodiversity and suicide. He also reflects on Anthony’s ability to mask what he was experiencing so effectively that some of his friends did not even realise he was autistic. That raises an important question for all of us. How much can be happening inside another human being that we simply cannot see? Our conversation also moves into Neil’s experience as a father. He speaks candidly about initially having to grieve some of the expectations he had unconsciously carried about fatherhood—the sports he imagined coaching, throwing a ball together and other experiences he had pictured sharing with his son. When he was able to release those expectations, however, he could begin meeting Anthony as Anthony actually was. His son loved martial arts and rock climbing. Father and son also spent enormous amounts of time camping together, creating memories that Neil now treasures. There is something profound within that. Sometimes love asks us to release the person we imagined someone would become so that we can fully love the person standing before us. Neil’s professional background also gave him an unusual foundation from which to confront what followed. He had spent approximately two decades working within the personal-development world, including work with Deepak Chopra and Tony Robbins, whom he describes as a friend and mentor. Even with all that exposure to transformation and personal development, however, Neil is clear that nothing could prepare him completely for the death of his son. He experienced shame, guilt, devastating pain and questions about what strength and masculinity actually mean. And that is particularly important within this series on men’s trauma. For generations, many boys have heard some variation of: don’t cry, toughen up, be strong. But what happens when life presents something that cannot simply be “toughed out”? Neil challenges the idea that strength means carrying everything alone. During our conversation, I repeated a familiar spiritual saying: God never gives us more than we can bear. Neil offered an important addition. In his lived experience, we are not necessarily meant to bear life’s greatest trials without the help of others. That became one of the most beautiful moments in our conversation. Whether we call that greater presence God, Creator, Spirit or Universe, help does not always arrive dramatically from somewhere beyond us. Sometimes it arrives through another human being. The friend who notices. The person who telephones. The stranger who shares information at precisely the right moment. The community that surrounds a grieving family. The person willing to sit beside us when there is absolutely nothing they can say to make the pain disappear. As Neil beautifully describes it, there may be angels in heaven, but there are also angels here on Earth. We therefore need not only an open heart, but open eyes, because if we become completely focused upon an expected outcome, we may fail to recognise the help already surrounding us. Neil’s second initiative, The Endurant Way, grew from his own experience of post-traumatic growth and now seeks to help adults carrying significant loss find a way forward. Importantly, Neil does not describe growth as replacing grief. He rejects the idea that healing means reaching some final point at which grief is completed and everything is closed. Pain and joy can coexist. Sorrow and gratitude can coexist. You can miss someone desperately and still laugh. You can grieve and still experience love. You can carry terrible pain and nevertheless discover meaning. Neil describes this as the duality of emotions—the capacity to experience both. And he makes an equally important distinction when we speak about turning grief into something positive. We must not use purpose to escape pain. We must first allow ourselves to experience the grief. Sit with it. Cry. Feel the discomfort. Acknowledge the yearning for the physical presence that is no longer there. Only then can something begin to move. Neil challenges the familiar expression that grief is love with nowhere to go. His experience has taught him something different: grief is love that can no longer go to the physical place where it once went. But the love itself still has somewhere to go. He can send that love to Anthony through prayer and through the spiritual relationship he continues to feel with his son. He can pour it into another grieving father. He can give it to a young person who feels unseen. He can place it into the work of The Endurant Movement. He can bring it into a conversation such as this one. And in doing so, the love continues. Perhaps this is one of the deepest messages of our conversation. We do not honour those we have lost by pretending we are no longer devastated by their absence. Nor do we honour them by allowing our own lives to end emotionally when theirs ends physically. There can be another possibility. We can carry them forward. We can speak their names. We can take the love that once had a physical destination and allow it to become compassion, service, connection and purpose. Neil says that if, as he believes, he is reunited with Anthony one day, he does not want to look back upon the years between and see only suffering. He wants to be able to celebrate the people they helped and perhaps the lives that were saved because Anthony lived. That does not make Anthony’s death acceptable. Neil is very clear: if he could exchange everything he has learned to have his son back, he would. But he cannot. And so he chooses to love his son forward. For the men listening who have been taught that grief must be contained, that tears reveal weakness or that they should somehow be able to carry the unbearable alone, Neil leaves a very different message: You don’t have to carry this alone. Open your heart. Open your eyes. Reach out for help. Allow yourself to cry. Allow others to stand beside you. And remain open to the possibility that somewhere within even the smallest pinhole of hope, another way of living may eventually become visible. We are not separate beings expected to survive life’s greatest trials entirely through our own strength. We are community. We are connection. And for those of us who believe in a Creator, perhaps part of faith is recognising that the hand we have been praying for may sometimes arrive through the hand of another human being. Pain does not have to be denied for purpose to emerge. Grief does not have to disappear for love to continue. And asking for help does not diminish a man’s strength. Sometimes it may be one of the greatest expressions of strength he can make. — Zenzi SewaahFounder & Spiritual Visionary, Spiritual Infinity Guest Bio & Contact Neil Tricarico is the founder of The Endurant Movement, a non-profit created following the death of his 16-year-old son, Anthony, to help ensure that neurodivergent and other young people struggling with their mental health do not feel unseen. Neil also created The Endurant Way, drawing upon his lived experience of profound grief, spiritual awakening and post-traumatic growth to support adults seeking a way forward following significant loss or pain. His professional background spans approximately two decades in personal development and transformation, including work with Deepak Chopra an

  3. Oct 6

    Losing Her Sight, Finding Her Strength | Laura Bratton on Grief, Courage & Gratitude

    What happens when the life you imagined for yourself begins disappearing before you have even reached adulthood? In this episode of Spiritual Infinity, I speak with Laura Bratton, speaker, author and coach, whose personal journey is an extraordinary exploration of grief, adaptation, courage and learning how to move forward when life changes in ways we never expected. As a young person, Laura was diagnosed with a very rare eye disease and gradually began losing her sight. By the time she finished high school at around 18, she had only very limited light perception. But the physical loss of sight tells only part of her story. While her friends were learning to drive, Laura was learning how to use screen-reading technology. While they were getting their first jobs, she was learning to navigate safely with a cane. At precisely the age when young people are normally gaining independence, Laura found herself having to depend upon other people in ways her friends did not. She speaks candidly about the grief, anxiety, panic attacks and debilitating depression that accompanied that transition. She was not only grieving her eyesight. She was grieving parts of her youth—the basketball, dancing and activities she loved, the independence she expected to have and the future she had imagined for herself. And because her sight disappeared gradually, the grieving process happened repeatedly. Her vision would deteriorate, plateau for a period, and then deteriorate again. Each change required another emotional and practical adjustment. One of the most important aspects of Laura’s story is that she does not pretend courage means never feeling afraid. Quite the opposite. She believes we need to acknowledge when something is painful. Her understanding of grit is not simply: push through, be strong and get over it. For Laura, grit means recognising that something is incredibly difficult and choosing to continue moving forward even while it remains difficult. That distinction is important. We live in a culture that can sometimes turn positivity into another pressure. We can feel that we should immediately find the lesson, be grateful, recover and move on. But human beings do not always heal that way. Laura’s journey reminds us that sometimes we first need permission to say: this hurts. This frightens me. This was not what I planned for my life. And then we ask: What do I need now? Laura credits much of her ability to move forward to the support surrounding her, particularly during those difficult teenage years. The people who loved her did not pretend that blindness was easy. Nor did they communicate that her life was somehow over. Through their everyday actions, they helped her understand that this was her new reality—and that together they would work out how to live within it. One piece of advice from her parents was beautifully simple: you only have to figure out today. Not next month. Not next year. Today. That philosophy helped Laura continue into education, adulthood and eventually a professional life built around helping other people navigate their own unexpected changes. Today, through her speaking and coaching, Laura teaches what she calls Experiencing Grit & Gratitude®. And her definition of gratitude is equally important. Laura is not grateful for blindness. Gratitude, in her understanding, does not mean pretending that something painful is wonderful. It means recognising what remains available to us and what has supported us while we walk through the difficulty. There can be grief and gratitude in the same life. Pain and purpose can coexist. Fear can be present while we continue moving. And perhaps that is where genuine resilience begins. Laura’s experience eventually became the foundation for her book, Harnessing Courage: Overcoming Adversity with Grit & Gratitude, as well as the speaking and coaching work she now shares with individuals, corporations and organisations. Towards the end of our conversation, I asked Laura to leave us with something practical for those facing change or adversity. She gave us two messages that belong together. First: acknowledge and validate your emotions. We often want to jump immediately from adversity to the solution. Something happens and almost instantly we ask ourselves, How do I fix this? How do I get over it? How do I get back to normal? But Laura reminds us that healing sometimes requires us first to recognise what we are actually feeling. When she could acknowledge the severity of her anxiety and panic rather than telling herself simply to be strong and positive, she could then begin asking what resources she needed to help herself. Her second message is equally powerful: You are enough. Adversity can change our circumstances without diminishing our value. Losing something does not make us less human. Needing help does not make us less capable. And having moments when we are frightened, overwhelmed, anxious or grieving does not mean we have somehow failed at being strong. Listening to Laura, I was reminded of something we return to again and again on Spiritual Infinity: life does not always follow the path we expected. There are moments when the road changes completely and we cannot see where it is taking us. Sometimes we cannot change what has happened. But we can learn how to meet what has happened. We can allow ourselves to grieve without making grief our permanent home. We can accept support without believing that needing support makes us weak. We can practise gratitude without denying our pain. And we can take the next step without needing to know every step that will follow. Laura lost almost all of her physical sight, yet she continued creating a life of purpose. She became an author, speaker and coach, and she continues learning from the very people she seeks to empower. Perhaps that is courage. Not pretending the darkness does not exist, but discovering that even within it, life can continue to unfold. So wherever you may be in your own journey today, remember Laura’s message. You do not have to solve the rest of your life today. Acknowledge what hurts. Accept the help you need. Find what remains worthy of gratitude. Take the next step. And above all, remember: You are enough. You are capable. And your circumstances do not determine the fullness of who you are. — Zenzi SewaahFounder & Spiritual Visionary, Spiritual Infinity Guest Bio & Contact Laura Bratton is a keynote speaker, author and coach whose professional work grew directly from her experience of progressively losing her sight while growing up. Having experienced profound grief, anxiety and the enormous practical adjustments required to live with blindness, Laura now helps others navigate personal and professional change through the principles of grit and gratitude. Her signature work, Experiencing Grit & Gratitude®, teaches people to acknowledge the reality of difficult circumstances while developing the perseverance, perspective and practical tools needed to continue moving forward. Laura is the author of Harnessing Courage: Overcoming Adversity with Grit & Gratitude, in which she shares her personal journey and explores how grit and gratitude can coexist with adversity. Website: LauraBratton.comLinkedIn and email contact: Available through Laura’s websiteBook: Harnessing Courage: Overcoming Adversity with Grit & GratitudeSpeaking & Coaching: Individual coaching, corporate and organisational speaking engagementsLaura identifies her website as the central place for her book, speaking, coaching, LinkedIn and email contact; her current official site also lists Harnessing Courage: Overcoming Adversity with Grit & Gratitude. Laura Bratton’s official website Get full access to Zenzi’s Substack at zenzisewaah.substack.com/subscribe

  4. Oct 4

    When Pain Becomes a Pattern | Bentzy Goldman on Male Trauma, Addiction & Rebuilding Masculinity

    What happens when a boy grows up without the freedom to express his emotions—and carries that disconnection into adulthood? In this episode of Spiritual Infinity’s series on male trauma and men’s emotional wellbeing, I speak with men’s coach Bentzy Goldman about emotional suppression, addiction, destructive relationship patterns and the courage required to change. Growing up in South Africa, Bentzy experienced a culture of traditional masculinity alongside a controlled religious upbringing that, in his particular environment, left little room for emotional expression. He speaks candidly about how his inability to understand and process his feelings contributed to bullying during adolescence and harmful behaviour towards women in his twenties. His turning point came during a period of troubled relationships, addiction and business difficulties. Joining a men’s group gave him something he had been missing: positive male role models, honest accountability and examples of men who could express emotion while treating themselves and others with integrity. Prayer and spiritual practice also became important sources of support throughout his recovery. Today, Bentzy helps men examine the relationship between emotional pain, pornography, compulsive sexual behaviour, intimacy and identity. His 12-week programme, From Consumption to Connection, focuses on changing destructive patterns, developing self-mastery and building healthier relationships with women. At the heart of our conversation is a powerful message: healing male trauma requires more than changing behaviour. It means understanding the pain beneath it, taking responsibility for the harm caused and learning a different way of being a man. One of the most important moments in this conversation is Bentzy’s acknowledgement that his pain did not affect him alone. It affected the people around him, particularly the women with whom he formed relationships. Trauma can help us understand harmful behaviour, but it does not excuse it. Healing asks us to recognise both our suffering and our responsibility. Bentzy also reminds us that facing difficult emotions requires courage. A man does not become less masculine when he acknowledges shame, sadness or fear. He gives himself an opportunity to understand what is happening within him rather than allowing those feelings to govern his actions. And healing is not a race towards perfection. Bentzy describes learning self-compassion as an ongoing practice, recognising that constant self-criticism cannot remain the only fuel driving a man’s life. As we continue this series on male trauma, I want us to remember that boys need emotional understanding before they become men, and men need safe spaces where they can speak, seek help and be accountable without being stripped of their humanity. Let us raise boys who know that feelings are not weaknesses, and support men who are willing to face their pain and choose a different path. — Zenzi Sewaah Founder & Spiritual Visionary, Spiritual Infinity Guest Bio & Contact Details Bentzy Goldman is a men’s coach originally from South Africa. Drawing on his personal journey through emotional suppression, addiction and difficult relationships, he now focuses on helping men develop self-mastery, emotional awareness, integrity and healthier relationships with women. He previously worked in executive coaching before concentrating on men’s personal development. His 12-week programme, From Consumption to Connection, explores identity, intimacy, pornography use and relationship patterns. Website: thefree-man.com Coaching: One-to-one sessions and a 12-week group programme. The website is the contact route Bentzy provides in the interview. Get full access to Zenzi’s Substack at zenzisewaah.substack.com/subscribe

  5. Oct 1

    When Anger Is Carrying the Pain | Daniel Gospodarek on Male Trauma, TBI & the Courage to Seek Help

    What happens when a young man’s life changes in an instant and the emotions that follow become almost as difficult to navigate as the physical recovery? In this episode of Spiritual Infinity’s continuing series on male trauma and men’s emotional wellbeing, I speak with Daniel Gospodarek, a licensed clinical social worker in Wisconsin who works extensively with men, first responders and military personnel. Daniel’s professional understanding of trauma is deeply connected to his own extraordinary experience. At just 17, Daniel was involved in a devastating car accident that caused a traumatic brain injury. He required brain surgery, suffered a collapsed lung and fractured skull, spent ten days in intensive care and seven days in inpatient rehabilitation, followed by months of physical therapy and 17 months of speech therapy. At an age when independence is normally expanding, Daniel suddenly needed help to walk, shower and carry out the most basic parts of daily life. Although he was determined to graduate alongside his classmates, recovery brought losses that were not immediately visible. Extreme fatigue meant missing much of the social life his friends were enjoying. His concentration had changed, his independence had been disrupted, and the effects of his brain injury continued into college. He also experienced intense irritability and anger, compounded by difficulties with sleep and further concussions. Daniel speaks openly about how that anger sometimes landed on the people closest to him—not because they had caused his pain, but because they were there when everything he was carrying finally came out. Eventually, he recognised that exercise and the support of the friend who had survived the accident with him could only take him so far. He needed a neutral person with whom he could safely explore what was happening inside him. Therapy became part of learning to understand and intentionally express the anger that had become so powerful he could physically feel it building in his body. That experience ultimately helped shape his vocation. Daniel went on to study social work, completing his master’s degree at the University of Denver, and today works with people carrying many different forms of trauma. His work with men has shown him how often anger or the seemingly simple statement “I’m frustrated” can conceal something deeper: anxiety, stress, grief, shame, guilt, addiction, relationship difficulties or years of emotions that have never been expressed. This is particularly significant in his work with first responders and military personnel—cultures in which people may repeatedly witness distressing events while being expected to continue functioning. Daniel explains that emotional numbing may help someone cope in the short term, but shutting down painful emotions can also interfere with the ability to experience love, gentleness, forgiveness and connection. One of the most moving parts of our conversation concerns the safety required for a man finally to let down those protective layers. Daniel describes the importance of creating a therapeutic relationship in which the nervous system begins to sense that it is safe. Sometimes healing begins with something as simple as a man discovering that he is not the only person experiencing what he has kept hidden for years. And sometimes it means allowing a 50-year-old man to cry without rushing to stop his tears, judge them or make them disappear. Daniel also talks about spirituality as one possible source of grounding. Raised Catholic, he drew strength during his own recovery from the thought, “I come as one, but I stand as 10,000” ,remembering the generations who came before him and the adversities they survived. In his professional work, however, he respects each person’s own spiritual or religious framework and also recognises that religion itself can sometimes be associated with trauma. Towards the end of our conversation, I asked Daniel what he would say to the man who knows he is carrying pain but remains hesitant to seek help. His response begins with one question: “Is what I’m doing working?” It is such a simple question, but it requires honesty. Is the way you are coping bringing you closer to the person you want to be—or further away? Is it affecting your partner? Your children? Your relationships? Are you genuinely living according to what you value? Because healing one man does not end with that man. Daniel reminds us that our emotional state affects those around us. When a nervous system remains caught in anger, fear, fight, flight or collapse, that dysregulation can reach into a marriage, a partnership and a family. In the same way, healing can create its own ripple effect. Perhaps that is something we need to remember when we ask men to seek help. It is not weakness to acknowledge that what you have been doing is no longer working. It takes courage to look at yourself truthfully. It takes courage to sit opposite another human being and say, this is what I am carrying. And it takes courage to allow yourself to feel what you may have spent years trying not to feel. To the men watching, listening or reading: your anger may be telling you something. Your frustration may be carrying something deeper. You do not have to wait until everything falls apart before you listen. And to the rest of us: we must continue creating spaces where men can speak without shame and where a man’s tears are not interpreted as the absence of strength. Sometimes strength is precisely what allows the tears to come. Zenzi Sewaah Guest Bio & Contact Details Daniel Gospodarek, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of Revitalize Mental Health, a private practice based in Kenosha, Wisconsin. He works extensively with men as well as first responders and military personnel, and provides individual and couples therapy alongside some group work. Daniel’s interest in social work emerged following the severe traumatic brain injury he sustained as a teenager. After completing his bachelor’s degree, he earned his master’s degree from the University of Denver and developed a professional focus that includes trauma, emotional regulation and helping people move beyond the protective mechanisms that can interfere with connection to themselves and others. Website: Revitalize Mental HealthEmail: daniel@revitalizementalhealth.comBusiness telephone: +1 720-295-6703 Get full access to Zenzi’s Substack at zenzisewaah.substack.com/subscribe

  6. Sep 29

    Can’t Break Me | KAYR on Poverty, Grief, Male Vulnerability & Transforming Your Life

    What do we really know about the person behind the success we see? In this episode of Spiritual Infinity, I speak with Kevin “KAYR” Robinson, author of the USA TODAY bestselling memoir Can’t Break Me: How I Shifted My Mindset and Overcame the Odds. Today, KAYR is an entrepreneur, investor, speaker and successful real-estate operator. He has worked on Wall Street, studied at some of America’s leading institutions and spoken at universities and organisations across the United States. But behind those achievements is a story of poverty, instability, grief, loss and the conscious decision to create a different life. KAYR grew up in Philadelphia as one of eight children raised by a single mother on welfare. His family moved 18 times before he reached 18. At times there was no electricity or heat. In one studio apartment, 15 people shared a space with a hot plate instead of a stove and a sheet instead of a bathroom door. By the age of nine, KAYR was smoking marijuana and cigarettes and drinking alcohol. Surrounded by older siblings whose lives included school dropout, teenage pregnancy and drugs, he initially believed that this was simply the path available to him. Then came a conversation that changed something within him. His stepfather, whom he calls Father Charles, warned him not to repeat the choices he and others in the family had made. KAYR remembers seeing the exhaustion and hopelessness in his eyes. At 13, he looked at the direction his own life was taking and decided that he wanted something different. But what makes KAYR’s story particularly important is that he does not describe himself as “self-made”. He describes himself as community-made. He deliberately sought mentors, teachers, after-school programmes, church communities and people who could expose him to possibilities he had never experienced. He even sought help with the way he spoke because he recognised that his communication was holding him back. Gradually, the boy whose school performance had once reflected the chaos surrounding him became valedictorian, class president, school president, debate captain and an athlete. He earned a scholarship to Bowdoin College, interned on Wall Street, worked at Goldman Sachs and a hedge fund, and later earned his MBA from Dartmouth’s Tuck School of Business. KAYR describes that journey as moving from survival, to structure, to stability. And spirituality was part of that transformation. Having become disconnected from church as his family circumstances changed, at 13 he made the decision to return by himself. Faith became one of the resources he drew upon alongside education, mentors, discipline and community. His philosophy includes what he calls the Three Ds: Desire, Discipline and Determination. Desire may ignite the wish for something different. Discipline creates the habits necessary to pursue it. Determination carries us when circumstances make giving up easier than continuing. Yet this conversation is not simply a celebration of achievement. That is precisely why I wanted to take KAYR behind the visible success. Because while one young man was receiving scholarships and entering prestigious institutions, members of the family he loved were travelling very different roads. His brother, one year younger and his childhood best friend, was sentenced to prison for attempted murder. By the age of 29, KAYR had experienced the deaths of two siblings, both sets of grandparents and his biological parents. More recently, an older sister died following an overdose. Behind the professional success were grief, questions of identity and what KAYR describes as survivor guilt. Why did his life take one direction while people he loved took another? How do you continue succeeding while simultaneously grieving? How do you forgive? How do you prevent what has happened around you from consuming you? This is where KAYR’s understanding of masculinity becomes especially important to our continuing conversations on Spiritual Infinity about men, trauma and emotional wellbeing. For KAYR, masculinity is not simply about being hard. He sought professional counselling alongside pastoral and spiritual support. He learned that his family could love and nurture him while not necessarily possessing all the tools he needed to process what he had experienced. And he challenges the message so many boys and men receive: don’t tell anybody, don’t cry, don’t show what hurts. Instead, his message is strikingly different: It is okay to pray. It is okay to cry. It is okay to get help. It is okay to write down what you are feeling. It is okay to admit that you do not have all the answers. That vulnerability did not prevent KAYR from becoming successful. It became part of how he learned to survive success, grief and everything occurring behind the public image. His story also challenges our understanding of wealth. KAYR speaks not simply about generational wealth, where assets are eventually inherited, but what he calls transformational wealth: using what you have built to begin changing other people’s circumstances now. That has meant creating opportunities for relatives, employing family members according to their abilities, sharing ownership and helping people develop their own means of supporting themselves. Importantly, he does not expect them to become versions of him. His message is: run your own race at your own pace. And perhaps that is one of the deepest lessons in our conversation. We live in a world in which we can look at somebody’s wealth, education, career, home or public profile and assume we understand their life. We do not. We see the front. We rarely see the grief behind it, the family members they could not save, the nights when they questioned themselves, the therapy sessions, the prayers, the people who held them up, or the decisions made when nobody was watching. KAYR’s story reminds us that resilience does not mean never hurting. Being strong does not mean doing everything alone. And becoming successful does not somehow exempt us from being human. His final message is one I hope stays with everyone who watches, listens to or reads this conversation: Your past may explain who you are, but it does not get to define your future. Where we begin matters because it shapes us. But it does not have to become the boundary around everything we can become. Sometimes transformation begins quietly—with the moment we decide that the life we have known does not have to be the only life available to us. Then we reach outward for the teachers, mentors, counsellors, community and spiritual guidance that can help us walk another road. Because perhaps none of us is truly self-made. We are shaped by those who love us, challenge us, pray for us, teach us, open doors for us and sometimes simply believe in us until we learn to believe in ourselves. And as KAYR’s journey demonstrates, when we finally rise, perhaps the greatest expression of success is not simply how far we have travelled—but how many opportunities we create for others to rise in their own way. Zenzi SewaahFounder & Spiritual Visionary, Spiritual Infinity Guest Bio & Contact Kevin “KAYR” Robinson is a USA TODAY bestselling author, entrepreneur, real-estate investor and operator, speaker and co-founder of KAYJAY Consulting. Raised in deep poverty and instability in West Philadelphia, he went on to graduate from Bowdoin College, build a career that included Wall Street and Goldman Sachs, and earn an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth. KAYR has built a multimillion-dollar real-estate portfolio with ownership in more than 160 rental units and speaks to universities, businesses and community organisations about resilience, discipline, financial independence, leadership and creating opportunity. He is the author of Can’t Break Me: How I Shifted My Mindset and Overcame the Odds, published in May 2026, which explores his journey from instability and survival towards structure, stability and ownership. His work emphasises that achievement is not simply individual: KAYR describes himself as “community-made” and advocates what he calls transformational wealth—using success to create opportunities for others. Website: KAYR MotivatesSocial media: @KAYRMotivatesEmail: info@kayrmotivates.comBook: Can’t Break Me: How I Shifted My Mindset and Overcame the Odds Get full access to Zenzi’s Substack at zenzisewaah.substack.com/subscribe

  7. Sep 22

    The Burden Men Carry | Mark Demain on Male Trauma, Ancestral Healing & Finding the Strength Within.

    In this deeply personal episode of Spiritual Infinity’s series on men and emotional wellbeing, I speak with Mark Demain, a South African now living in Panama, about the burdens men can carry when they are taught from childhood that strength means suppressing fear, vulnerability and emotion. Mark describes growing up within a highly disciplined environment, later serving in the military, where the message was reinforced: push through, solve the problem, stay strong and put feelings aside. Mark’s story is also a spiritual one. From childhood, he recalls experiences he could not explain and a persistent sense that there was more to life than the world he could physically see. Yet as a young man, these were experiences he largely carried alone. His search for understanding eventually led him beyond military and corporate life into energy work, shamanic practice, metaphysical studies and his own exploration of ancestral trauma. One of the most powerful themes of our conversation is the difference between appearing strong and becoming inwardly strong. Mark describes how men can learn to carry responsibility, solve everyone else’s problems and continue moving forward while their own emotional pain remains unspoken. For him, genuine change began when he stopped focusing solely on the outside world and turned towards himself: if I want to change the outside world, I must begin with the inner world. Mark went on to study metaphysical science and undertake a PhD in philosophy focused specifically on ancestral trauma. His approach combines his spiritual beliefs with his exploration of patterns that he believes can pass through generations. In particular, he discusses the pressure many men feel to provide, carry the burden and always find the solution—and what can happen emotionally when work, purpose or the role through which a man has defined himself suddenly disappears. But this is ultimately a conversation about healing rather than carrying. Mark encourages men to recognise their patterns, find a safe person or space in which they can speak, acknowledge when they need help and begin listening to what is happening within themselves. Closing Reflection There is a particular kind of strength that the world has traditionally asked of men: endure it, fix it, carry it and keep going. But perhaps another kind of strength is needed now. The strength to say, “I’m struggling.” The strength to recognise a pattern rather than automatically repeat it. The strength to ask for help. And the strength to sit quietly enough to hear what has been buried beneath years of being told to soldier on. Mark’s practical advice to men is simple: find your safe space. Find somewhere you can speak without judgement. Begin noticing the patterns that repeatedly trigger you, and recognise when something is too much to carry alone. He also suggests something beautifully simple: five minutes of silence each day. Before the telephone, before the demands of the world, sit quietly, breathe and return to yourself. And spiritually, our conversation returned to something central to Spiritual Infinity: we are not alone. There is a Creator, a Higher Being, and when the burden becomes overwhelming, we do not have to believe that human strength requires us to carry everything by ourselves. So to the men reading, watching or listening: please talk. And to those of us who love them: let us create spaces safe enough for them to do so. — Zenzi SewaahFounder & Spiritual Visionary, Spiritual Infinity Guest Bio & Contact Mark Demain is a spiritual practitioner whose journey has taken him from a regimented upbringing and military service through corporate life and into the study of energy healing, shamanic practice and metaphysical science. He holds a master’s-level qualification in metaphysical science and undertook a PhD in philosophy focusing specifically on ancestral trauma. His work is centred on helping people recognise and address patterns they may be carrying and empowering them with tools they can use for themselves and their families. Website: SoulJourneyWisdom.lifeEmail: mark@souljourneywisdom.lifeBook: Mark also revealed that he is currently working on a book, with further details to be announced when it is ready. Get full access to Zenzi’s Substack at zenzisewaah.substack.com/subscribe

  8. Sep 20

    When Success Isn’t Enough | Ali Christos on Male Trauma, Depression, Identity & Spiritual Awakening.

    In this deeply personal episode of Spiritual Infinity, I speak with Ali Christos, a former successful real-estate broker who is now a quantum hypnosis practitioner and spiritual teacher. From the outside, Ali appeared to have achieved the life many men are encouraged to pursue—professional success, money, property and family. Yet beneath those achievements was a persistent feeling that something was missing. His experience raises an important question within our continuing exploration of male trauma and men’s mental health: what happens when a man builds his identity around achievement, providing and outward success, only to discover that none of it can heal what is happening within? Ali speaks candidly about the events that dismantled that identity: a serious car accident that left him bedridden for eight months and unable to work or lift his children, depression and despair, near-death experiences, and later the breakdown of a 15-year marriage. He describes being forced to ask, “Who am I beneath those roles and accomplishments?”—and came to understand his breakdown not as the end of his strength, but as the beginning of a more honest kind of strength. His story is particularly relevant to the emotional pressures experienced by men. Ali says that when he now encounters younger men, he recognises his younger self: some appear arrogant or driven on the surface, while underneath he sees insecurity and a sense of being lost. His experiences eventually led him towards meditation, yoga, spirituality, mentoring and quantum hypnosis, and towards a very different understanding of fulfilment—one rooted less in material achievement and more in connection, love, purpose and inner peace. The conversation also enters the difficult territory of despair. During the interview, we reflect on a period following Ali’s accident when he was deeply depressed and crying out for help, and on the unexpected telephone call from spiritual teacher Lorna Byrne that gave him encouragement at a particularly dark moment. His journey reminds us why conversations about male depression, trauma, identity, loneliness, emotional pain and asking for help matter. A man can appear successful to the world and still be struggling profoundly within. Closing Reflection There is something especially important in Ali’s question: Who am I beneath my roles and accomplishments? Men are so often measured by what they can provide, achieve, build or endure. But when those external structures disappear—a career, a marriage, physical strength, financial status—what remains? Ali’s story reminds us that a breakdown does not have to be the final chapter. Sometimes the identity that is falling apart is making room for a more authentic one to emerge. And his final message is beautifully simple: whatever yesterday contained, this moment is still ours. Even when life feels painfully low, he encourages us to return to the present and find something, however small, for which we can be grateful—our breath, our heartbeat, the fact that we are still here. For men carrying trauma, depression or despair, perhaps one of the most important messages we can continue to share is this: your worth is greater than your achievements, and reaching out for support is not a failure of masculinity. — Zenzi SewaahFounder & Spiritual Visionary, Spiritual Infinity Guest Bio & Contact Details Ali Christos, based in Toronto, Canada, is a former real-estate broker who subsequently followed a spiritual path and became a quantum hypnosis practitioner. His journey has encompassed meditation, yoga, spiritual study, mentoring and quantum hypnosis, following profound personal experiences that changed his understanding of success, identity and purpose. Ali also produces spiritual content, books and music and speaks in the interview about an Urdu-language spirituality podcast reaching an international audience. Quantum Hypnosis & Coaching: QHHTwithAli.comBooks & Music: MySpiritualTeacher.ca Ali says his main website includes blogs, free resources, in-person Quantum Hypnosis Healing Technique sessions, remote Beyond Quantum Healing sessions and one-to-one coaching. Get full access to Zenzi’s Substack at zenzisewaah.substack.com/subscribe

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About

Spiritual Infinity is your gateway to deeper self-awareness, transformation, and connection with the limitless power within. Hosted by Zenzi Sewaah, Through inspiring conversations with guest speakers from around the world, we uncover personal journeys of spiritual awakening, the methods that transformed their lives, and how these practices can empower you. Whether you’re seeking healing, enlightenment, or a greater understanding of the universe, Spiritual Infinity provides wisdom and insights to support your journey. Join us as we navigate the infinite possibilities of spirituality, one episode at a time. zenzisewaah.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    "Spiritual Infinity: Where stories of spiritual awakening inspire your own transformative journey, hosted by Zenzi Sewaah."
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    142
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Zenzi Sewaah
  • Show Website
    Spiritual Infinity