“I’d rather be understood than forgiven” is an unusual sentiment, but one that many modern people can relate to. Forgiveness as a concept and as an aspiration has lost its allure in contemporary society. However, in more religious societies of the past, it was an obvious thing to aspire toward. Unfortunately, when we do not see forgiveness as a moral value in society, our relationships with each other become weak. What would be the reason to forgive someone who harms you, when you can’t see how your relationship fits into the bigger picture of human society and human existence? If I know that I am weak and make mistakes and need God’s forgiveness, then I will be much more able to forgive someone else when they do wrong to me. But if I don’t recognize my own human weakness—and that I am eventually going to answer to God myself—then it becomes very hard for me to see any reason to overlook someone else’s wrongdoing. To be able to forgive, one must personally have the desire to be forgiven themselves. As we see in the famous story of “Ifk” in the sirah, where our Mother Sayyida Aisha was falsely accused of a horrendous sin, the greatest figures of Islamic history were able to forgive some of the worst transgressions, because they recognized the weakness of their own humanity, and how much they themselves were in need of Allah’s forgiveness and favor. It was after this incident that Allah told us: “But let them pardon, and pay no mind to the slight: Would you not all love Allah to forgive you? And Allah is all-forgiving, all-compassionate” (Quran, Surah al-Nur, 24:22). Another thing that helps us forgive and overlook each other’s mistakes is having a common set of rules for what is right and wrong. We are losing sight in modern society of a shared moral standard. With no shared rules, our society is hurling toward greater immorality, but because we don’t agree on what is right and wrong, when a transgression does occur, we are less able to agree on the fact that something wrong has happened. If we can’t even agree that wrongdoing has occurred, the seeking and giving of forgiveness become even more remote. This episode invites us to consider the great value of forgiving others for the sake of Allah. As a prerequisite to this, it also asks us to consider rebuilding within and among ourselves a shared sense of morality, so that we as Muslims maintain a clear idea of what kinds of wrongs should be forgiven and why. By rekindling a desire to repair and maintain our bonds with each other for a higher purpose, we can help our families and societies become healthier on many levels: emotionally, spiritually, and in the practical aspects of our daily lives. TEXT IN FOCUS: وَلْيَعْفُوا۟ وَلْيَصْفَحُوٓا۟ أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَٱللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ “But let them pardon, and pay no mind to the slight: Would you not all love Allah to forgive you? And Allah is all-forgiving, all- compassionate.” Quran, Surah al-Nur, 24:22 TAGS: JOIN US thesilainitiative.org Telegram Youtube