When the f**k did I become old?

Jo Parker
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When the F**k Did I Become Old? is the no-holds-barred podcast for everyone over 55 who is done being invisible. Co-hosted by Jo Parker and her partner Kev Stockbridge, this is real talk about ageing from 55 onwards. With humour, honesty and a healthy dose of profanity, Jo and Kev tackle everything from hot flushes and shit sleep to grief, reinvention, sex after 55 and dating in later life. Plus menopause, loneliness, retirement, mental health and the art of staying visible when society wants you to disappear. If you’re over 55 and feel like life is shifting fast physically, emotionally, financially and nobody’s talking about it properly, this is your podcast. Each episode blends Jo and Kev’s raw reflections with unfiltered conversations from guests who have lived a little (and learned a lot). Jo and Kev’s mission? To break the silence around ageing, smash the stereotypes and make getting older something we can laugh at, cry through and fully own….together. It’s ageing, without the airbrushing   Season 1 - The Journney Begins... Season 2 - The Search for a Co-Host Season 3 - A new Co-Host; my partner Kev Stockbridge Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify   Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/whenthefkdidibecomeold/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/WhenthefkdidIbecomeold/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@whenthefkdid_i_becomeold YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@WhentheFdidIbecomeold Email us whenthefkdidibecomeold@gmail.com  

  1. 1d ago

    The seven psychological habits that will keep you young - after 50!

    What happens when one partner retires and the other doesn't? This week we get real about the unspoken expectations that collide when life rhythms fall out of sync, before diving into seven psychological habits that research shows can keep us biologically and mentally younger after 50. Spoiler: it has nothing to do with wrinkles. Key Takeaways Retirement without a prior conversation is a recipe for a collision of unspoken expectations, especially when one of you is still working. The biggest drivers of how old you appear to others have nothing to do with genetics or grey hair. They are psychological. Treating your age like a number on a driving licence rather than a medical diagnosis matters more than most of us realise. Nostalgia is fine in small doses, but overdosing on the past tells your brain the best days are behind you. Comfort is a slow, silent killer of youth. The brain thrives on novelty, so doing things that make you feel like an idiot is actually the point. Playfulness is not childish; it is a genuine marker of psychological youth. And complaining about ailments is fine in private, but turning it into a competitive sport only reinforces the idea that you are in decay. Perhaps most powerfully: carrying a grudge is drinking the poison yourself and hoping someone else drops dead. Packing light emotionally is not weakness. It is the strategy. We have all seven of these habits somewhere in us. The question is which ones we are actively choosing. Timestamps 00:50 - Two weeks of retirement: what we thought would happen vs. reality 04:57 - What we learned about unspoken expectations when partners retire at different speeds 06:44 - Introducing the seven psychological habits (credit: The Human Hack on TikTok) 09:06 - Habit 1: Stop letting your age be a medical diagnosis 15:53 - Habit 2: Stay curious and stop living in the past 18:08 - Habit 3: Free yourself from external validation and others' judgment 22:51 - Habit 4: Actively destroy your comfort zones 27:18 - Habit 5: Refuse to become a chronic complainer 31:55 - Habit 6: Maintain a relentless sense of playfulness 35:00 - Habit 7: Practice selective memory editing, pack light 39:09 - Wrap-up: ageing is a choice you make every day Human Hack https://www.tiktok.com/@thehumanhack1/video/7662053029448863006

  2. Aug 13

    What we would tell our younger selves - How to prepare for retirement in your 40s

    Inspired by a question from one of our listeners, this episode is dedicated to the financial side of retirement planning and what we wish we had known and done sooner. From understanding what a retirement lifestyle actually costs in real money, to working out your savings ratio, to dry-running your retirement budget before you actually need it, we get into the practical detail that nobody tells you until it is too late. Key TakeawaysThe defined benefit pension era is over. Unlike our parents' generation, most of us are responsible for funding our own retirement and have had almost no guidance on how much that actually costs.3 retirement living standards exist as a benchmark. Pensions UK and Loughborough University's Centre for Research in Social Policy launched these in 2019. For a couple, the minimum is £22,500 a year, moderate is £45,400, and comfortable is £62,700.Most people are not saving enough. Only 23% of the working population is on track to reach the moderate standard. Just 9% will reach comfortable.2 things to focus on. Know what lifestyle you are actually targeting and work out your savings ratio.The 4% rule and compounding are your friends. If you invest in equities over the long term, history suggests a 5% real return. Withdrawing only 4% annually means your portfolio should not run out. And £1,000 invested today, plus £115 a month over 20 years at 5% growth, becomes roughly £50,000 from a £27,600 total contribution.Lifestyle inflation is a quiet killer. Pay rises and bonuses that get absorbed into bigger cars etc are the single biggest thing working against your savings ratio in your 40s.Dry-run your retirement budget. Live on your target retirement income for a year. Split it into monthly buckets andtrack the variance.Timestamps00:09 The listener question that shaped this episode 02:33 Why the rules changed: from defined benefit pensions to figuring it out yourself 04:52 The retirement living standards introduced 07:09 The 3 lifestyle levels: minimum, moderate and comfortable, with headline figures for singles and couples 09:36 Inside the minimum budget: what £22,500 a year actually buys a couple 11:34 Inside the moderate budget: £45,400 and what changes 13:52 Inside the comfortable budget: what £62,700 covers including holidays and activities 16:14 Why the state pension alone leaves you below the minimum standard and what the PLSA is doing about it 18:38 The 2 things you need to know: your target lifestyle and your savings ratio 21:02 Tools to help: the James Shack graph on financial independence and the Net Worthify retirement calculator 23:28 Why spending less beats chasing higher returns, every time 25:51 Lessons from Early Retirement Wanderlust: eliminate debt, avoid lifestyle inflation, and harness compounding 32:56 The dry-run: how to live on your retirement budget for a year before you need to, and why it is the most useful thing you can do https://www.retirementlivingstandards.org.uk/details   Retirement IFA – James Shack: https://www.youtube.com/@JamesShack   Retirement Calculator: https://networthify.com/calculator/ea...

  3. Aug 6

    Healthspan v Lifespan - What if you run out of time before you run out of money?

    Most of us spend years planning for a financially secure retirement, but how often do we stop to ask whether we'll actually be well enough to enjoy it? In this episode, we dig into three interconnected timelines that shape how we age: lifespan, health span, and work span. The gaps between them are bigger than most people realise, and understanding them might just change when, and why, you decide to stop working. Key TakeawaysThe health gap is significant. In the UK, average healthy life expectancy is just 60.7 years for men and 60.9 for women, yet average lifespan stretches into the mid-80s. That leaves a potential 15+ years living with chronic illness, reduced mobility, or cognitive decline.Where you live matters. Health span varies dramatically by region. Surrey averages 65 (men) and 66 (women). The Orkney Islands top the UK charts at 73 and 74 respectively.Work span is the one you can change. The traditional model assumes you work from roughly 22 to 67, sacrificing your healthiest, most energetic years. But the labour market is already pushing people out after 50, while governments are pushing the pension age up. That gap has to be funded from somewhere.Redefining wealth is the shift. If wealth only means money and assets, you're not ready to change anything. But once you redefine it to include time, freedom, energy, and health, different decisions start to make sense.You can time travel. Aging is not a fixed decline. Lifestyle choices around movement, food, sleep, stress, alcohol, and social connection genuinely influence how fast your body ages at a cellular level. Genetics accounts for only 10 to 30% of lifespan variation.Practical levers for your work span. Max out employer health cover now. Build savings outside of pension vehicles to bridge the gap. Consider flexible working, which you have a legal right to request in the UK. Invest in transferable skills if a career change is on your radar. And if a separation is possible, get independent asset valuations before any decisions are made.Timestamps00:09 Introduction and framing: why we focus too much on money and not enough on health in retirement planning 02:31 Defining the three clocks: lifespan, health span, and work span 04:57 UK and US lifespan statistics, and the sobering health span data from the ONS 07:24 What good health span actually looks like in daily life, according to Harvard Medical School 09:50 Introducing work span, the 45-year trade of time and energy for economic security 12:16 Why the deal is getting worse: rising pension age, a hostile job market for over-50s, and no state support to fill the gap 16:54 The light bulb moment: flipping the trade and redefining what wealth means 21:35 Time travel is real: how lifestyle choices influence the hallmarks of aging 28:31 Practical steps to shorten your work span and fund the gap on your own terms https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthy-aging-and-longevity/lifespan-vs-healthspan-why-how-you-age-matters-more-than-how-long-you-live

  4. Jul 30

    What Do You Want Your Retirement To Be & Are You Ready?

    Here are the show notes: When the Fk Did I Become Old? | Episode: What Do You Want Your Retirement To Be?** Are you actually ready for retirement, or just ready to stop working? In this episode we dig into those questions live on mic, using exercises from Early Retirement Wanderlust by Richard and Jackie Pickles. With one of us weeks away from leaving a 12-year estate agency role and the other mid-redundancy, the timing could not be more personal. Key Takeaways Retirement is not a day, it is a life phase that could run 20 to 30 years. Going in without a plan for what you are moving towards, not just away from, is a mistake. The life check-in scorecard from the book surfaces things you already know but have not said out loud. Curiosity and learning scored lowest for us, which was not a surprise but was a useful prompt. Four exit criteria signal when you are genuinely ready: kids raised and empty-nested, parents no longer needing support, mortgage paid off, and enough of work. We are close on all four. The three phases, go-go, slow-go and no-go, will compress or stretch depending on your health and finances. Everyone wants the go-go years to be the longest, so front-load the big adventures. Concrete plans for the go-go years: a motorcycle tour across Morocco in September and three months training as a snowboard instructor in the Alps this winter. Starting strength training now, not later. For the slow-go years, local community matters more than we have planned for. Most of our close friends are geographically scattered. Building a local peer network is a goal we are starting now. On end-of-life care, we are both firmly in the Dignitas camp. At least one of our kids knows. The others have been told several times. Timestamps 00:10 Introduction and where we both are right now in our working lives 02:36 Why the book frames retirement as a new life chapter, not an escape 04:33 Running through the life check-in scorecard: time, money, energy, connection 06:00 Curiosity and simplicity scores, and why the guitar is still untouched 08:05 The deeper reflection questions: richest areas, what feels out of balance 10:38 Our four personal exit criteria for knowing when the time is right 15:05 Where the go-go, slow-go and no-go framework came from (Michael Stein, 1998) 17:31 Go-go years: what they look like and why spending peaks here 19:59 Slow-go years: slower pace, grandchildren, package holidays and listening to your body 22:24 No-go years: connection, legacy, accepting care and end-of-life planning 24:23 Live exercise: what experiences feel most important while energy is high 29:44 What would you genuinely regret not doing in the go-go years 32:03 Slow-go years: where we want familiarity, routine and a sense of belonging 33:35 Adventures that could still work in the slow-go years (skiing in your 70s, absolutely) 36:00 No-go years: what a life well-lived looks like and who to protect 38:12 Stories we want to pass on, and how we want to be cared for at the end Sources: Early Retirement Wanderlust

  5. Jul 23

    A New Man in Number 10 - What Difference Does it Make...to me!

    Britain has a new Prime Minister. Andy Burnham walked into Number 10 on Monday 20 July, making him the seventh PM in a decade. We recorded this on his first day in office, so some of this may already be history by the time you're listening. We break down what his first 24 hours actually looks like behind the scenes, and then get into the financial policies being floated that could hit our wallets hard. Key Takeaways The first day as PM is far more dramatic than anyone tells you. Before lunch, Burnham had to handwrite four letters of last resort for Trident submarine commanders and draw up a nuclear bunker shortlist. The mansion tax threshold may drop from £2m to £1.5m, which would pull in 146,000 more London homes almost immediately. Inheritance tax could be scrapped and replaced with a health and social care levy. We still do not know whether that would leave us better or worse off. The 25% tax-free pension withdrawal remains in play as a target. It was nearly cut to £100k under Reeves and could be on the table again. The triple lock on the state pension looks safe for now, but the OECD is already pressuring the government to reform it given an ageing population. Mortgage holders on fixed rates expiring soon are facing a painful jump. We are personally looking at a fivefold increase when our 1.4% fix ends in six weeks. Annuity rates are the best they have been in a decade. Legal and General were quoting 7.37% last week for a 65-year-old, which makes them worth looking at again. The honest advice: do not panic, and do not make big financial moves until the autumn budget lands in November. Timestamps 00:00 Introduction and context: why we recorded on day one 02:30 The James Bond schedule: nuclear briefing, letters of last resort, bunker shortlist 07:18 Setting up Number 10 North and the Manchester security problem 09:38 Mansion tax: the £1.5m threshold and what it means for the housing market 12:00 Inheritance tax: scrapping it and the social care levy alternative 14:20 Income tax thresholds and a possible wealth tax 16:47 Stamp duty, council tax reform, and the north/south divide 19:04 State pension, the triple lock, and OECD pressure 21:28 Private pensions: the 25% tax-free cash withdrawal and what might change 23:49 Interest rates rising and our very personal mortgage problem 26:17 Annuities: why we are suddenly paying attention 28:36 Final thoughts: hold steady until the budget

  6. Jul 16

    I Know What You Did Last Summer Part 2 - Trains, Cars, Bikes & Boats

    In this episode we pick up where we left off on our epic French road trip, covering everything from a stolen jumpsuit and a runaway camera, to an Aston Martin covered in warning lights and gale force winds on the Harley. We also open up about a major life change that landed the day before we left for holiday and what it means for the next chapter. Key TakeawaysHolidays rarely go to plan and the chaos is often what makes the story worth telling.A packed itinerary can feel like several holidays in one, but it comes at the cost of rest.Overbooking dinners (even brilliant ones) can leave you needing to slow down halfway through a trip.Redundancy hits differently depending on your age and stage of life. What felt manageable in your 30s and 40s feels far heavier as retirement age approaches.Even when you've been mentally preparing for a life transition for years, the reality of it still catches you off guard.Many close friendships form through work, so a career ending can quietly reshape your social circle. It's worth thinking early about which relationships you want to carry forward.Planning for retirement isn't just financial. It's emotional too, and it's worth asking what you want your time, purpose and relationships to look like next.Timestamps00:00 – Recap of the trip so far: Aston Martin to the south of France, collecting the Harley, days of motorbike touring, and a boat trip to the Porquerolles islands 01:00 – The missing jumpsuit saga: an alterations shop mix up, a stranger walking off with it, and a promise to replace it 04:00 – The Insta360 camera disaster: it falls off the bike and gets run over 05:30 – The Aston Martin's rocky return from the garage: a cracked windscreen, warning lights, and a locked door drama in a car park 07:30 – A last minute scare when the booked Harley is involved in an accident before pickup 09:00 – Reflecting on an ambitious route with long driving days and constant movement 11:30 – Extreme weather on the bike: sudden rain and dangerously strong winds 13:00 – Too many booked dinners and the reality of five course meals night after night 14:00 – Highlights from the route: Saint-Rémy de Provence, Fréjus, Bandol, and more 16:00 – Arriving at the villa and finally slowing the pace down 18:00 – A luxury dinner at a hotel used as a filming location for a well known TV series 19:30 – Sharing the news of redundancy the day before the holiday began 21:00 – Looking back on previous redundancies at different ages and why this one feels different 23:30 – Thinking about retirement after a 39 year career and the habits that come with it 24:30 – A book on early retirement and a favourite quote about designing a more deliberate life 26:00 – A discussion on friendships built through work and how they can shift after retirement 29:00 – What retirement might mean for time spent together versus time spent apart 30:00 – Wrapping up and looking ahead to future episodes on this journey

  7. Jul 9

    Old is cancelled - The Ageing Myths, Money and Marketing Special

    About This EpisodeBy 2050, 2.1 billion people on Earth will be over 60. That is one in four humans globally, and one in three in Europe and North America. So what does that actually mean for how we live, how we are perceived, and how brands are (badly) trying to sell to us? In this episode we dig into some genuinely surprising survey data on aging stereotypes, generational attitudes, and the enormous economic power that the over-55 cohort holds -- power that marketers are largely still failing to tap into. Key TakeawaysEvery generation thinks "old" starts just far enough away from their current age to feel safe -- Gen Z puts it at 61, boomers put it at 72Boomers are statistically more progressive on gender roles and trans rights than Gen Z males, which runs completely counter to the narrative we are fedOnly 8% of global ads feature a mature adult in a primary role, and when they do, it tends to be elasticated trousers, funeral plans, or Saga cruisesOver-55s are highly brand loyal and driven by quality, customer service, and peer reviews -- not advertisingThe silver economy is worth $330 billion now and heading to $680 billion by 2035, yet brands are still largely ignoring itRetirement is no longer a single life stage -- researchers are now segmenting older adults into four behavioural tribes: Simple Contentment, Strivers, Strugglers, and Chill IndulgenceTimestamps00:09 – Opening stat: 2.1 billion people over 60 by 2050 00:45 – When did you first think someone was "old"? And when do you think it starts now? 03:30 – The Ipsos Attitudes to Aging survey: 24,000 people, 32 countries, and what each generation actually said 05:30 – Millennials think old age starts at 65; Gen Z puts it at 61 06:30 – No age is too old to get married or start a degree -- what the data says about perceived capability 08:00 – What would you still be doing at 80? Driving, mobility, and why stopping the car shrinks your world 11:56 – Exercising into your 80s and what functional fitness actually looks like 13:00 – The Silver Marketing Association survey and a preview of their July report 14:20 – AI and technology: older adults are less scared of it than younger generations 15:30 – The gender roles surprise: boomers more supportive of stay-at-home dads than Gen Z males 18:40 – The Andrew Tate manosphere effect and what it might be doing to Gen Z survey data 20:00 – If you had to work until 70, what would you do? (Record shop gets a mention) 22:30 – The silver economy: $330 billion now, $680 billion by 2035 24:42 – The midlife men and brands survey: how over-55 males actually make purchasing decisions 27:03 – Only 1.5% of TV characters are over 65, and 92% of ads cast younger adults 29:26 – Brand loyalty, what makes men switch, and why customer service matters so much 31:47 – Why retirement is no longer one life stage and age is a poor segmentation tool 33:30 – The four tribes of the silver economy: Simple Contentment, Strivers, Strugglers, and Chill Indulgence -- which one are you? https://www.ipsos.com/en/ipsos-generations-report-2025 https://www.ipsos.com/en/golden-years-golden-opportunities https://www.ipsos.com/en-us/ipsos-ai-monitor-2024

  8. Jul 2

    Stop Scrolling, Start Living: How Behavioural Intelligence Could Change How You Age

    Jo sits down with entrepreneur and behavioural intelligence expert Daniel Akutt, who just a year ago was exhausted, foggy, and feeling like life was passing him by. He shares the turning point that changed everything, and reveals the tool he is building with us to help people stop drowning in health information and start making decisions that actually work for them. Key Takeaways Chronic stress can masquerade as hormonal or age-related decline. Brain fog, physical fatigue, and poor sleep are often signs of years of accumulated stress rather than simply getting older.Nobody is coming to save you. Change only happened for Daniel when he stopped waiting and started creating the conditions for it, beginning with a spontaneous 30-minute meditation in Bali inspired by Dr Joe Dispenza.The world does not have an information problem, it has an understanding problem. We are bombarded constantly, but rarely given tools to filter what is actually relevant to us personally.Social media is not relaxation. Scrolling feels passive but it is controlled, addictive, and designed to keep you buying. Becoming conscious of that is the first step to taking back control.Personality shapes your health journey. Two people given the same health plan will get different results if it does not account for how they individually think, make decisions, and stay motivated.We are building a diagnostic tool together rooted in behavioural intelligence that creates a personalised health roadmap based on who you are, not just what you should do.Meditation gave Daniel the answer to a business problem he could not crack logically. Quieting the mind creates space for solutions that thinking harder never will.Timestamps 00:09 Introduction and how Daniel felt a year ago 01:15 Chronic stress, brain fog and waking up exhausted 02:30 Realising nobody is coming to save you 04:41 The Bali moment and discovering Dr Joe Dispenza 06:10 Jo's experience at a Joe Dispenza retreat in Dallas 08:00 Heart rate, measurement and the value of meditation 09:30 The world's information problem vs understanding problem 11:00 How social media controls what you see and why 13:00 Introducing profiletest.ai and behavioural intelligence 16:30 The frightening reality of ill health in later life 17:15 The diagnostic tool we are building together 21:00 Why personalised pathways beat generic advice 24:00 Measuring progress and predicting outcomes over time 26:30 Social media as false relaxation and the dopamine trap 29:00 How meditation unlocked a major business breakthrough 31:00 What is coming next and where to follow the podcast

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About

When the F**k Did I Become Old? is the no-holds-barred podcast for everyone over 55 who is done being invisible. Co-hosted by Jo Parker and her partner Kev Stockbridge, this is real talk about ageing from 55 onwards. With humour, honesty and a healthy dose of profanity, Jo and Kev tackle everything from hot flushes and shit sleep to grief, reinvention, sex after 55 and dating in later life. Plus menopause, loneliness, retirement, mental health and the art of staying visible when society wants you to disappear. If you’re over 55 and feel like life is shifting fast physically, emotionally, financially and nobody’s talking about it properly, this is your podcast. Each episode blends Jo and Kev’s raw reflections with unfiltered conversations from guests who have lived a little (and learned a lot). Jo and Kev’s mission? To break the silence around ageing, smash the stereotypes and make getting older something we can laugh at, cry through and fully own….together. It’s ageing, without the airbrushing   Season 1 - The Journney Begins... Season 2 - The Search for a Co-Host Season 3 - A new Co-Host; my partner Kev Stockbridge Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify   Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/whenthefkdidibecomeold/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/WhenthefkdidIbecomeold/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@whenthefkdid_i_becomeold YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@WhentheFdidIbecomeold Email us whenthefkdidibecomeold@gmail.com  

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