When the f**k did I become old?

Jo Parker
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

When the F**k Did I Become Old? is the no-holds-barred podcast for everyone over 55 who is done being invisible. Co-hosted by Jo Parker and her partner Kev Stockbridge, this is real talk about ageing from 55 onwards. With humour, honesty and a healthy dose of profanity, Jo and Kev tackle everything from hot flushes and shit sleep to grief, reinvention, sex after 55 and dating in later life. Plus menopause, loneliness, retirement, mental health and the art of staying visible when society wants you to disappear. If you’re over 55 and feel like life is shifting fast physically, emotionally, financially and nobody’s talking about it properly, this is your podcast. Each episode blends Jo and Kev’s raw reflections with unfiltered conversations from guests who have lived a little (and learned a lot). Jo and Kev’s mission? To break the silence around ageing, smash the stereotypes and make getting older something we can laugh at, cry through and fully own….together. It’s ageing, without the airbrushing   Season 1 - The Journney Begins... Season 2 - The Search for a Co-Host Season 3 - A new Co-Host; my partner Kev Stockbridge Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify   Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/whenthefkdidibecomeold/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/WhenthefkdidIbecomeold/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@whenthefkdid_i_becomeold YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@WhentheFdidIbecomeold Email us whenthefkdidibecomeold@gmail.com  

  1. 3d ago

    Why You're Not Sleeping (It's Probably Not Your HRT): A Deep Dive with Hormone Geek Kate Thompson

    Jo finally gets answers about her chronic sleep issues and it's not what she (or most women) would expect. Hormone and nutrition specialist Kate Thompson joins to unpack why so many midlife women are misdiagnosed, overtreated for oestrogen, and completely missing the real culprit: cortisol burnout. From the Dutch test to dopamine depletion, this episode connects dots that most GPs simply don't have time to. Key Takeaways: Sleep problems in midlife aren't always hormonal. Chronic high cortisol can suppress melatonin and tank your neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin) long before your HRT needs adjustingThe Dutch test (dried urine comprehensive hormone panel) reveals cortisol patterns, neurotransmitter impact and sex hormones together, giving a far clearer picture than standard blood workHigh-intensity evening exercise spikes cortisol right when your body needs to wind down. Swap it for strength training or yogaYour first hour after waking matters: skip immediate coffee, get natural light and eat before you exerciseProgesterone is chronically underprescribed in the UK. Low progesterone means low GABA, which means an overactive brain at 3amFatty liver disease affects an estimated 70% of midlife people and largely goes undiagnosed. Ask for markers at your next blood test or request a look during any abdominal ultrasoundWomen spend roughly 25% of their lives in poor health. Decisions made in your 40s and 50s directly shape your health spanTimestamps: 00:09 Introducing Kate Thompson, the Hormone Geek01:10 Kate's backstory: city career, fertility, perimenopause, and retraining02:24 What a first consultation looks like; why women present with weight gain but leave with a fuller picture03:30 The Dutch test explained: cortisol, sex hormones, and neurotransmitters in one panel04:45 Jo's case: blood sugar monitor ruled out, Dutch test ordered05:45 What Jo's results actually showed (spoiler: it wasn't the HRT)07:20 Progesterone, GABA and the 3am wide-awake brain09:16 Four weeks in: real-world results amid a genuinely stressful period13:00 Why midlife changes everything: oestrogen drop, visceral fat, cortisol receptors, muscle mass14:10 A male CEO case study: what late-stage burnout actually looks like16:00 The exercise problem: why HIIT addicts are often the most cortisol-depleted17:30 Strength training for women and men: testosterone, decision-making, and longevity18:32 Success stories and the 12-week programme philosophy19:45 Simple morning habits: light, smoothie, then coffee; no phone as your first screen21:30 Evening routine: dimmed lights, early eating, no late cardio23:09 8,000 steps and why walking without your phone is stress medicine25:00 The Diet Coke trap: why artificial sweetness makes you crave the real thing26:00 New research on food texture and post-lunch sugar cravings28:00 Longevity vs health span: women live longer but spend more years unwell29:30 Fatty liver disease: the silent midlife epidemic and how to check for it https://www.instagram.com/thehormonegeek/ https://www.thehormonegeek.co.uk/

    35 min

  2. May 29

    Why Everything in Your Wardrobe Is Ageing You (And How to Fix It After 50)

    We sit down with personal stylist Emma Davison to tackle one of midlife's most overlooked confidence boosters: knowing how to dress for the body and skin tone you have now, not the one you had 20 years ago. Emma brings refreshingly honest advice on colour, capsule wardrobes, wardrobe edits and why getting dressed in the morning doesn't have to feel like a crisis. Key Takeaways Black isn't always your friend. As skin softens with age, black absorbs light and creates shadows around the face, accelerating the appearance of aging. Navy blue is the universal alternative that works for virtually everyone. Know your undertone. The key question is whether your skin tone is warm or cool, which determines whether you reach for ivory or pure white, olive green or teal, warm reds or cool blues. A capsule wardrobe is simpler than you think. Aim for 25 to 40 core pieces built around 4 to 5 investment colours that all work together, then layer in statement pieces on top. About 70% of most people's wardrobes go unworn. A wardrobe edit cuts the noise, reveals what you actually have, and often generates more outfits from fewer pieces. Smart casual is where people struggle most. Most people can do formal and casual, but the middle ground is where a stylist adds the most value. Fit and fabric matter more than trends. As men age cut and quality of fabric become the priority. A well-tailored classic piece will outlast any trend. Clothes are a confidence tool, not a vanity project. Particularly through menopause and major life transitions, what you wear directly affects how you carry yourself and how others respond to you. Start with the basics, literally. Underwear, bra fit and t-shirt weight are the foundation everything else is built on. Timestamps 00:11 Introduction and why we all love black 02:32 The ageing effect of black and why navy wins 04:47 How knowing your colours shortcuts the shopping experience 07:09 Starting a wardrobe edit: body shape, underwear, and investment pieces 09:29 Kevin's colours, warm vs cool skin tones, and the role of hair colour 11:54 Jo's colour palette and why navy is the most versatile neutral 13:30 How clothes transform confidence, especially post-menopause 16:35 Dressing your age vs dressing for your body now 18:29 Common mistakes men make and where style tends to slip 20:49 Smart casual as the trickiest category and how to nail it 23:10 How a wardrobe edit actually works, start to finish 27:47 The emotional weight of clothes and how Emma handles it 32:19 The ripple effect of a style transformation on those around you 33:30 How many pieces make a capsule wardrobe 34:45 Go-to high street brands for men and women 37:09 Why shopping in person still matters and where to find Emma  https://emma-davison.co.uk/

    39 min

  3. May 21

    Mental Health Awareness Week - WTF Does That Have To Do With Snowboarding & Motorbikes?

    We mark Mental Health Awareness Week (11–17 May, UK) by sharing our own very on-brand actions: a black-tie charity ball in London, donations to two youth mental health charities, and a group ride with near-strangers for the Distinguished Gentleman's Ride in Guildford. Along the way we get honest about male friendship, vulnerability, and why it's weirdly hard to make mates in your 50s and 60s. We close out with the Mental Health Foundation's Top 10 practical tips and score ourselves on how many we're actually doing. Key Takeaways Activity creates connection; men in particular open up when united around something physicalMaking friends as an older adult is awkward, and that's normal; push through it anywayThe Top 10 aren't a checklist; pick what works for you, and use them to support others tooShared experience > proximity; it's not having friends, it's actually spending time with themTimestamps 00:09 — Welcome & intro: Mental Health Awareness Week 2025 theme is Action 00:45 — The charity ball: Stop Breathe Think; free, instant counselling for under-21s who can't afford it 02:10 — Snow Camp: using skiing & snowboarding to build life skills and support young people's mental health 02:36 — What is the Distinguished Gentleman's Ride? Retro bikes, vintage threads, raising funds for prostate cancer research and men's mental health (Movember) 04:53 — The Guildford ride by numbers: 1,392 riders, ~£100k raised, second biggest ride in the world this year 06:00 — The friendship backstory: why socialising with people your own age gets complicated over the decades 09:40 — Making new friends in your 60s: the vulnerability of putting yourself out there and why it's worth it 13:00 — What the ride unlocked: deep conversations, a WhatsApp group, and plans for future rides together 14:30 — Top 10 Mental Health Foundation tips begin 14:30 1. Plan something to look forward to16:45 2. Eat well, avoiding sugar spikes and cortisol crashes18:00 3. Get closer to nature, daily walks, woods vs pavements19:13 4. Get good sleep, told straight20:00 5. Get creative, a guitar deadline and a hired drummer at the ball21:36 6. Move regularly, steps, yoga, Pilates, high-intensity cycling22:30 7. Try mindfulness, hot yoga, barefoot on grass, being present24:01 8. Make time for friends, shared experiences vs an unused contact list25:00 9. Be kind, gratitude and appreciating small moments25:45 10. Talk things over;  courage, survival mode, and the friends who've sat through it all https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/public-engagement/mental-health-awareness-week https://gentlemansride.com/ https://www.stopbreathethink.org.uk/

    29 min

  4. May 14

    Menopause & Men: Navigating It Together

    This week we get candid about one of the most overlooked relationship dynamics, what it's actually like when a woman is going through menopause and her partner is trying to keep up. Having been through it with two partners, Kev is something of an accidental expert and this episode is an honest, warm and sometimes hilarious look at what that journey really involves for both sides. Key Takeaways ·       Menopause is technically one single day, 12 months after your last period. Everything else is peri or post, and post-menopause can last decades. ·       HRT can be life-changing but getting the balance right takes time. Oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone all play a role and the combination matters enormously. ·       Symptoms are not always obvious as menopausal. UTIs, anxiety, heart palpitations, poor sleep and mood swings can easily be mistaken for stress or personality. ·       Men who educate themselves make a tangible difference. Kev's prior experience meant he recognised the signs, suggested HRT and coached Jo through the worst of it without shame or blame. ·       Feeling chosen and emotionally safe allowed Jo to open up about what she was going through. Security matters as much as knowledge. ·       Only 26% of men in a recent survey attributed their partner's symptoms to menopause rather than ageing. 11% did nothing at all. ·       The responsibility should not fall entirely on women to explain what is happening to them. Timestamps 00:09 Introduction and what menopause actually is 01:30 What we learned from a previous relationship going through menopause and HRT 03:30 Weight gain, libido, mood swings and separating stress from symptoms 05:00 Was she able to voice what was happening? 06:00 How Jo felt entering the relationship post-menopausal and low in confidence 07:45 The emotional chaos of menopause and not knowing who you are 09:00 The catfishing incident and the rocky early months 10:30 The blind date in Covent Garden and the moment a choice was made 12:30 How that moment changed what Jo felt able to share 14:00 Jo's symptoms: UTIs, palpitations, anxiety and sleep disruption 15:30 Suggesting HRT and why prior experience made that possible 17:00 The driveway tantrum, the forgotten laptop and two weeks off the patch 19:00 A previous relationship stops being a threat and becomes a gift 21:00 What changed after HRT: confidence, mood, sleep and playfulness 23:00 Louise Newson's 10 tips for partners and how we had already lived them 27:00 What men get wrong about menopause 28:30 The MATE survey and some sobering stats on men's attitudes and inaction 30:00 Why post-menopause is a long road and can actually be great   Louise Newson https://www.newsonhealth.co.uk/ MATE Mens attitude to menopause https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31188286/

    31 min

  5. May 7

    Who Needs Friends Anyway? Why Midlife Can Feel Lonely & How Reclaiming Friendships Can Change That!

    KEY TAKEAWAYS Quality over quantity. Research suggests 4–5 deep friendships is all you needLoneliness isn't about being alone — it's the gap between the connection you want and what you haveMidlife is the hardest time to make friends, but also when they matter mostIntentionality is everything — good friendships don't happen by accident anymoreDon't interpret silence as rejection — everyone is busy and overwhelmedAudit your circle: use the Friendship MOT to decide where to invest your timeStart now. There's no better moment to reach out

    40 min

  6. Apr 30

    The Generation Gap

    Every generation thinks it had it hardest. Jo and Kev dig into a Sunday Times article taking a multidimensional look at how Boomers, Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z have fared across five key areas: housing, wages, consumer goods, relationships, and retirement. As parents of four Gen Z kids, this one is personal. Spoiler: the Boomers did have it better — but the picture is more nuanced than the kids would have you believe. KEY TAKEAWAYS Housing: By 30, 50% of Boomers owned a home. First-time buyers today pay £73,800 in their first five mortgage years vs £41,500 for Boomers. The price-to-salary ratio has gone from 4.2x in 1975 to 7.6x today. Boomers had high rates but MIRAS tax relief softened the blow. Jo's 1988 Silvertown flat cost £85k — it's now £400k. Wages: Under-20s are up 20% in real terms thanks to minimum wage rises. Ages 20–27 are flat. Above 27, wages are down. 45% of unemployed 24-year-old Gen Z have never held a job, and graduate oversupply is squeezing entry-level roles. Consumer goods: Milk took 8 working minutes to earn in 1975, now 2. LCD TVs dropped from £4,500 to £279. But lifestyle creep absorbs the gains — one daily Starbucks is £225/month, and subscription stacking adds hundreds more. Relationships: UK marriages fell from 400,000 in 1973 to 224,400 in 2023. Average marriage age has risen a full decade in two generations. Birth rates dropped from 2.93 in 1964 to 1.41 in 2024. Silver divorce is also on the rise. Retirement: Boomers with final salary pensions had it best. Gen X were first to face defined contribution schemes — only 54% have adequate savings. Gen Z need £1,600/month to reach a £3m retirement pot. Their lifeline: the biggest intergenerational wealth transfer in history, if it survives inheritance tax changes. Verdict: Boomers won. Gen X feel the pension pinch. Gen Z face delayed milestones but may inherit on an unprecedented scale. The generation game is not over. TIMESTAMPS 00:09 Welcome and intro to the generation debate01:30 Defining the four generations: Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z02:28 Housing: mortgage costs compared across generations05:30 MIRAS, stamp duty wars and the race to complete in the 80s07:14 Wages vs house prices: the salary multiple then and now08:00 Jo's real-world test: his first flat in 1988 vs today10:30 Low-skilled workers and homeownership rates by generation11:30 Gen Z, university degrees and the graduate jobs squeeze14:00 Wages by age group: who's up, flat and down in real terms15:30 Consumer goods: the milk test (8 minutes vs 2 minutes)17:10 Tech prices: LCD TVs from £4,500 to £27919:00 Eating out: genuinely cheaper than 35 years ago20:30 Coffee culture and the £225-a-month Starbucks habit22:30 Subscriptions: the hidden drain no generation faced before24:30 Marriage stats: volume halved, age risen a decade in two generations26:00 Falling birth rates and the drift toward a one-child family28:00 Silver divorce, no-fault legislation and changing social norms30:31 Retirement: final salary pensions vs the defined contribution cliff edge32:30 Auto-enrolment from 2012 and the savings gap it exposed33:50 Gen Z's retirement challenge: the £3 million pot35:20 Inheritance as Gen Z's potential lifeline and the IHT threat37:13 Final verdict: who wins the generation game?

    39 min

  7. Apr 23

    Stop Snoring, Start Sleeping: What You Need to Know About Sleep Apnoea and Ageing

    Timed to coincide with National Stop Snoring Week (27 April to 3 May).  Episode DescriptionJo sits down with sleep psychologist Dr Maja Schaedel to unpack everything nobody tells you about snoring, sleep apnoea and ageing. From why women approaching menopause are increasingly at risk, to whether sleeping in separate bedrooms might actually save your relationship, this conversation covers the practical, the awkward and the surprisingly funny.   Key Takeaways•        Snoring disrupts partners more than snorers themselves. Sleeping apart is not the beginning of the end. •        Women approaching menopause are increasingly likely to snore and develop sleep apnoea due to hormonal and physical changes in the throat. •        Sleep apnoea in women often looks different to men. Watch for fatigue, lethargy, dry mouth and broken sleep rather than obvious snoring. •        Alcohol worsens snoring. Move your drinks earlier in the evening so your body has time to process it before bed. •        There are multiple types of snoring. The BSSAA free interactive sleep test can help identify which type you have before you see a GP. •        A CPAP is still the gold standard for sleep apnoea. Less severe cases may be treated with a mandibular advancement device. •        Magnesium might improve sleep by about 15 minutes. CBT for insomnia (CBT-I) is far more evidence-based. Apps like Sleepio and Sleepful are a good starting point. •        Power naps work best at 15 to 20 minutes. Beyond 30 minutes, you risk sleep inertia and feeling worse than before. •        Sleep quality naturally declines after 55 for both men and women. •        Poor sleep costs the average person around £5,000 a year.  Timestamps00:00  Welcome and introducing Dr. Maja Schaedel and the problem of snoring 01:15  Why partners suffer more than snorers 03:07  Why people snore, menopause, hormones and the snoring link 04:06  Sleeping apart: stigma, reality and relationship benefits 07:04  Sleep apnoea symptoms in women versus men 07:50  How insomnia and sleep apnoea feed each other 10:02  National Stop Snoring Week and the BSSAA 11:05  Sleep position, alcohol and easy lifestyle tweaks 12:35  Types of snoring and the BSSAA sleep test 14:56  What to do if you suspect sleep apnoea 16:30  CPAP, mouth guards and treatment options 18:30  Perimenopause, hormones and disrupted sleep 20:58  Why sleep declines after 55 for everyone 22:16  The perfect power nap (and when it backfires) 24:02  The hidden £5,000 a year cost of bad sleep 25:29 Magnesium, melatonin and what the research actually says 26:10  CBT-I, sleep apps and where to get real help   LinksBritish Snoring and Sleep Apnoea Association: britishsnoring.co.uk The Good Sleep Clinic: goodsleep.clinic/ sleepio.com sleepful.me

    32 min

  8. Apr 16

    The Boomerang Years -we right-sized for two and then the kids came back!

    This week, we cover the full ride from single parenting to empty nesting, downsizing, and now... the kids are back. Spoiler: the Aston Martin didn't help. Whether you're in the thick of solo parenting, watching your kids slowly stop needing you or about to open the front door to a 22-year-old with a suitcase, this one will hit home. IN THIS EPISODE •        The brutal pragmatics of setting up as a single parent: schools, commutes, custody logistics and money •        How your identity quietly disappears when you're the primary carer and how long it takes to get it back •        The surprising emotional gut-punch of empty nesting, even when you thought you were prepared •        From two houses to one: the financial and emotional decision to downsize and move in together •        The week we bought a two-seater Aston Martin... and both kids said "Can I come home?" •        Why we wrote actual house rules before the kids arrived and what made the list KEY TAKEAWAYS •        Nearly 58% of 21-24 year olds and 34% of 24-35 year olds currently live at home with parents. The boomerang effect is real and growing •        Every life stage feels permanent until it suddenly isn't •        The shift from parent to host is a genuine identity challenge •        Setting expectations upfront (yes, in writing) can save a lot of friction •        Short-term stays: skip the rent conversation. Longer-term: consider saving contributions as a deposit fund TIMESTAMPS 00:09  Intro & why this episode is happening right now 02:32  Single parenting after divorce; logistics, finances, identity 09:44  Rebuilding yourself outside the parent role 14:21  Empty nesting: when it hits, even when you saw it coming 19:06  Downsizing from two houses to one life 26:53  Life as a couple with zero kids at home 29:12  The boomerang call… and the Aston Martin timing 31:33  The house rules document 36:15  How to handle money when adult kids move back in

    40 min
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About

When the F**k Did I Become Old? is the no-holds-barred podcast for everyone over 55 who is done being invisible. Co-hosted by Jo Parker and her partner Kev Stockbridge, this is real talk about ageing from 55 onwards. With humour, honesty and a healthy dose of profanity, Jo and Kev tackle everything from hot flushes and shit sleep to grief, reinvention, sex after 55 and dating in later life. Plus menopause, loneliness, retirement, mental health and the art of staying visible when society wants you to disappear. If you’re over 55 and feel like life is shifting fast physically, emotionally, financially and nobody’s talking about it properly, this is your podcast. Each episode blends Jo and Kev’s raw reflections with unfiltered conversations from guests who have lived a little (and learned a lot). Jo and Kev’s mission? To break the silence around ageing, smash the stereotypes and make getting older something we can laugh at, cry through and fully own….together. It’s ageing, without the airbrushing   Season 1 - The Journney Begins... Season 2 - The Search for a Co-Host Season 3 - A new Co-Host; my partner Kev Stockbridge Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify   Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/whenthefkdidibecomeold/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/WhenthefkdidIbecomeold/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@whenthefkdid_i_becomeold YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@WhentheFdidIbecomeold Email us whenthefkdidibecomeold@gmail.com  

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