The Parenting Lab (Help for the Healing Parent)

Brittney Gonzalez
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Join the conversation as we explore the art and science of parenting! As a Master-Certified Parent Coach, I'm here to guide you in your parenting - to heal, connect, regulate, and move forward with intention. You don't have to be stuck in a loop of yelling, conflict, and frustration! Yes, parenting is hard - but WHY? Let's dig into what's really going on, and transform your parenting from the inside out.

  1. 22H AGO

    47. Head, Heart & Hands: The Secret to Healthy Communication

    Have you ever felt unheard in your relationship - even when you’re trying so hard to communicate clearly?Do arguments escalate quickly, leaving you wondering why your partner (or your child) just doesn’t seem to get it? You’re both in the same conversation.You’re both in the same room.But you didn’t come through the same door. In this episode of The Parenting Lab, I’m sharing one of the most practical relationship frameworks I use with clients: Head, Heart, and Hands. Every relationship operates through three foundational channels: The Head (logic, understanding, perspective) The Heart (emotion, attachment, connection) The Hands (action, follow-through, repair) Most conflict doesn’t happen because we don’t love each other.It happens because we’re entering the moment through different doors. We’ll talk about: Why problem-solving can feel invalidating Why emotional reactions escalate conflict How attachment patterns shape your default response What happens when thinking, feeling, and action aren’t aligned Practical ways to improve communication in marriage and parenting This episode blends the science of attachment and nervous system regulation with the art of communication and connection - so you can stop fighting the wrong battle and start building trust instead. If you’ve ever thought, “Why do we keep having the same fight?” - this framework will change how you see conflict, connection, and the people you love most. ♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney Find Lab 6 HERE - Wired: Making Behavior Make Sense Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠! For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠ Follow on Instagram / TikTok / YouTube  ⁠@TheParentingLabPodcast⁠ Email Brittney: ⁠theparentinglab101@gmail.com

    29 min
  2. 46. The Problem With Love Languages (And How to Actually Connect)

    FEB 13

    46. The Problem With Love Languages (And How to Actually Connect)

    You’re speaking their love language.So why isn't it working? If you’ve read the books, taken the quizzes, and tried to love your partner or child “the right way” - but something still feels off - this episode is for you. In this thought-provoking conversation, we take a deeper look at one of the most popular relationship frameworks in pop psychology - The 5 Love Languages - and explore why speaking your partner’s or child’s love language might not be enough to create real emotional security. With Valentine’s Day around the corner and love language quizzes everywhere, it’s the perfect time to ask a harder question: What actually makes love feel safe? We’re diving into the powerful difference between love languages and attachment theory, especially in parenting and long-term relationships. You’ll learn why you can “get the behaviors right” - acts of service, physical touch, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation - and still feel disconnected. Because while love languages focus on what we do, attachment shapes how safe we feel. In this episode, we explore: The hidden limits of the 5 Love Languages framework How attachment styles impact marriage and parenting Why emotional safety matters more than grand gestures The role of nervous system regulation in secure relationships How unresolved childhood patterns shape how we give and receive love What kids are really learning about love by watching your relationship Three practical anchors that build secure attachment at home If you’re interested in attachment parenting, emotionally healthy relationships, nervous system regulation, breaking generational patterns, or building deeper connection in marriage, this conversation will challenge and encourage you. Because secure attachment isn’t built in the highlight reel.It’s built in the hard moments - through responsiveness, repair, and regulation. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing “all the right things” but something still feels off, this episode will help you understand why — and what actually grows roots that last. 🎙️ Let’s go deeper than love languages. ♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠! For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠ Follow on Instagram / TikTok / YouTube  ⁠@TheParentingLabPodcast⁠ Email Brittney: ⁠theparentinglab101@gmail.com

    24 min
  3. 45. Trauma-Bonding: When Pain Feels Like Connection

    FEB 6

    45. Trauma-Bonding: When Pain Feels Like Connection

    Have you ever felt closest to someone during conflict, crisis, or emotional intensity - and strangely disconnected when things finally calm down?This episode explores trauma bonding through a nervous-system lens, looking at why stress, urgency, and emotional activation can feel like intimacy - and why peace can sometimes feel empty or unsettling instead of safe. Trauma bonding is what happens when connection forms under chronic stress. When closeness only shows up during hard moments, the body learns that pain, unpredictability, or emotional intensity equals love. Over time, calm can start to feel unfamiliar - or even threatening. In this episode, we unpack:• What trauma bonding really is (and what it isn’t)• How stress-based connection forms in families, friendships, and romantic relationships• The difference between secure attachment, enmeshment, and trauma bonding• Why calm can feel boring, empty, or disconnecting after years of intensity• How these patterns are passed down across generations• Why so many adults are creating distance from family - and what’s actually happening underneath• How to heal trauma bonds without cutting people off or abandoning relationships We also explore how trauma bonding shows up in parenting - especially with adult children - and why being needed can quietly become part of identity. If pain has been how love was proven, healing can feel like loss, even when it isn’t. This episode isn’t about blame or labels. It’s about awareness, nervous system regulation, and learning how to stay connected without pain being the glue. Healing doesn’t mean losing depth or passion - it means redefining intimacy so it no longer costs your peace. If you’re navigating complicated family dynamics, intense relationships, or the discomfort that can come with emotional calm, this conversation will help you understand what your body learned about connection - and how to gently update it. ♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney Download Lab Five: Regulation & The Nervous System Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠! For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠ Follow on Instagram / TikTok / YouTube  ⁠@TheParentingLabPodcast⁠ Email Brittney: ⁠theparentinglab101@gmail.com

    27 min
  4. 44. Stop Trying to Stop Yelling: How to Quit Yelling at Your Kids (Without Willpower)

    JAN 30

    44. Stop Trying to Stop Yelling: How to Quit Yelling at Your Kids (Without Willpower)

    If you’ve ever promised yourself you’d stop yelling - only to find yourself doing it again hours (or minutes) later - this episode is for you. Yelling isn’t happening because you’re a bad parent, undisciplined, or doing something wrong. And the solution isn’t more self-control, better scripts, or “just staying calm.” In this episode, we’re unpacking the truth most parenting advice misses: yelling is a nervous system response to overwhelm, not a behavior problem... You’ll learn: Why yelling feels automatic - even when you desperately want to stop Why willpower and “trying harder” actually make the cycle worse What’s really happening in your body before you yell The hidden relational cost of yelling (and why it works in the moment but damages connection over time) How to regulate earlier so yelling no longer feels necessary Practical tools for noticing triggers, pausing without abandoning, repairing after rupture, and building nervous system capacity day to day We’ll also talk about healing generational patterns, releasing shame, and why control without healing is just survival - not transformation. This episode isn’t about fixing yourself.It’s about understanding your nervous system, creating safety inside your body, and learning how to respond in ways that actually align with who you want to be as a parent. If you’re exhausted from trying to stop yelling…If you’re stuck in the yell→apologize→promise cycle…If you know there has to be a deeper way - This conversation is for you. ♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney Lab Five: Regulation & The Nervous System Join The Parenting Lab ⁠Facebook Group⁠! For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit ⁠theparentinglab.org⁠ Follow on Instagram / TikTok / YouTube  ⁠@TheParentingLabPodcast⁠ Email Brittney: ⁠theparentinglab101@gmail.com

    22 min
  5. 43. Parts Work for Parents: Meeting the Different Versions of You

    JAN 24

    43. Parts Work for Parents: Meeting the Different Versions of You

    Ever lie awake after a hard parenting moment thinking, Why did I react like that when I know better?If part of you wants to be calm and connected, but another part wants to shut down, snap, or walk away - you’re not broken. You’re experiencing inner conflict, and there’s a reason it shows up so powerfully in parenting. In this episode we explore Parts Work for Parents - a compassionate, research-informed framework rooted in Internal Family Systems (IFS) that helps make sense of why parenting can pull out versions of ourselves we don’t recognize or like. You’ll learn how different “parts” of you - protective Managers, reactive Firefighters, and tender Exiles - work together to keep you safe, even when their strategies create disconnection or shame. We talk about: Why parenting activates old emotional wiring, even when you’re doing “all the right things” How inner conflict is a nervous system response - not a parenting failure What Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles actually look like in real-life parenting moments How parts work reduces shame and helps you respond with more intention Simple, practical ways to start noticing and working with your parts - without overanalyzing or fixing yourself This episode isn’t about becoming perfectly regulated or never getting triggered. It’s about learning how to understand yourself with more clarity, curiosity, and compassion so you can repair without self-attack and parent from a place of steadiness, not fear. If you’ve ever wondered why you can want two opposite things at once as a parent… this conversation is for you. ♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney Join The Parenting Lab Facebook Group! For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit theparentinglab.org Follow on Instagram @TheParentingLabPodcast Email Brittney: theparentinglab101@gmail.com

    21 min
  6. 42. You Know Better… So Why Is It Still So Hard to Change?

    JAN 16

    42. You Know Better… So Why Is It Still So Hard to Change?

    You know better - so why is it still so hard to change? If awareness was supposed to make things easier, why does healing sometimes feel more frustrating than before? In this episode, we’re talking about the part of growth no one prepares you for: the discouraging middle, where you know what isn’t working but don’t yet feel different. The stage where you’re more aware, more intentional, and somehow still struggling. I’ll walk you through the four stages of competence and show you how this learning framework maps directly onto the healing process - especially in parenting and relationships. We’ll talk about why growth isn’t linear, why effort doesn’t mean failure, and how real transformation actually unfolds over time. If you’ve ever thought:• “I should be further along by now”• “Why do I still get triggered if I’ve done so much work?”• “What am I missing?” This episode will help you understand where you are in the process - and why it makes so much sense. Click HERE to access Lab Three: Setting Your Intentions as An Empowered Parent! ♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit theparentinglab.org Follow on Instagram/TikTok/YouTube @TheParentingLabPodcast Email Brittney: theparentinglab101@gmail.com

    15 min

  7. JAN 9

    41. Your Parenting Vision: A Different Way to Begin the Year

    What if the new year didn’t begin with pressure to fix yourself - but with permission to return to yourself? In this episode of The Parenting Lab, we explore a different way to begin the year by shifting from parenting resolutions to a deeper, more meaningful parenting vision. Instead of focusing on behavior change or perfection, this conversation invites you to slow down, release “fixing” energy, and reconnect with what you truly long for in your family and relationships. Together, we talk about why healing doesn’t happen on a calendar, why awareness is not a burden but an opening, and how vision - like physical sight - changes and refines as we gain clarity. You’ll learn how to access your parenting vision through regulation, emotional awareness, and intentional practice, rather than control or self-judgment. We’ll also introduce the guiding themes for the year ahead: regulation, clarity, relationship, safety, and healing. This episode is not about motivation or self-improvement. It’s about creating safety, honesty, and intention as you move forward - one gentle step at a time. If you’re feeling tired of striving, overwhelmed by “shoulds,” or unsure where to begin, this is a place to land. ♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit theparentinglab.org Follow on Instagram & TikTok @TheParentingLabPodcast Email Brittney: theparentinglab101@gmail.com

    17 min

  8. 12/13/2025

    40. My Vision For You

    As we close out 2025, I wanted to offer something different - not goals, not resolutions, not another list of things to fix - but a vision. In this final episode of the year, I want to share my vision for you as a parent and as a person. A vision rooted in healing, awareness, and the belief that meaningful change happens in small, gentle, everyday moments. We talk about what it looks like to release inherited parenting patterns, create deep felt safety for your children, trust yourself more fully, parent with confidence and clarity, access calm and regulation more often, and set boundaries that feel peaceful instead of heavy. We explore how parenting doesn’t just shape our kids - it shapes us - and how this journey becomes part of our own healing over time. This episode is reflective, grounding, and hopeful. It’s an invitation to pause, to notice how far you’ve already come, and to carry a softer, steadier vision of parenting into the new year. Thank you for being part of The Parenting Lab this year. I’m so grateful for this community - and I can’t wait for what we’re building together in 2026. ✨ If you are enjoying The Parenting Lab, please follow the podcast and leave a review - it helps more parents find this space, and the healing and help they are looking for. ♥ Your Parent Coach, Brittney For free resources, online courses, or to join the mailing list, please visit theparentinglab.org Follow on Instagram/TikTok @TheParentingLabPodcast Email Brittney: ⁠theparentinglab101@gmail.com

    19 min
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Join the conversation as we explore the art and science of parenting! As a Master-Certified Parent Coach, I'm here to guide you in your parenting - to heal, connect, regulate, and move forward with intention. You don't have to be stuck in a loop of yelling, conflict, and frustration! Yes, parenting is hard - but WHY? Let's dig into what's really going on, and transform your parenting from the inside out.

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