The Secure Start® Podcast

Colby Pearce

In the same way that a secure base is the springboard for the growth of the child, knowledge of past endeavours and lessons learnt are the springboard for growth in current and future endeavours.If we do not revisit the lessons of the past we are doomed to relearning them over and over again, with the result that we may never really achieve a greater potential.In keeping with the idea we are encouraged to be the person we wished we knew when we were starting out, it is my vision for the podcast that it is a place where those who work in child protection and out-of-home care can access what is/was already known, spring-boarding them to even greater insights. 

  1. #37: From Chaos To Calm: Routines, Relationships, And Real Change In Residential Care, Tom Ellison

    12H AGO

    #37: From Chaos To Calm: Routines, Relationships, And Real Change In Residential Care, Tom Ellison

    Send us a text What if the most powerful “intervention” in residential care isn’t a therapy model at all, but the quiet predictability of daily life held by thoughtful adults? We sit down with social care consultant Tom Ellison to dig into what actually moves the dial for children who’ve lived through adversity: simple, stable routines, a clear primary task, and relationships that feel parental, enriched, and safe. Across a candid, story-rich conversation, we challenge the idea that progress begins with jargon or the latest training. Tom shares how reflective spaces keep teams aligned and emotionally grounded, so staff can swap firefighting for understanding. A striking case unpacks why a boy melted down around bath time, and how one missing detail from his history instantly changed the team’s feelings, responses, and outcomes. When we know a child’s story, behaviour starts to make sense; when life becomes predictably “boring,” anxiety fades and connection grows. We also explore admission as a major intervention in its own right. Claiming a child into the home, assigning a bridging key worker, and shaping the environment to feel warm and homely lay the foundation for belonging. From there, therapy finally has the right “dose” and context to work. Tom frames the residential role as parental but extraordinary, blending consistent authority with trauma-informed nuance. We talk boundaries, phones, and the hard edges of care, including how legal measures can blur authority and inflate costs without improving outcomes. What do alumni remember? Love, belonging, and the small, joyful rituals that said “you are ours.” If you’re building or leading a children’s home, or you work the front line, this conversation offers practical, human guidance: start with routines and roles, protect reflective time, learn one child deeply, and use authority like a good parent. Subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review to help more practitioners find tools that actually help kids heal. Tom's Bio: Tom is an accomplished Consultant and leadership trainer with over 30 years in children’s residential care, specialising in innovative leadership and mental health support for young people. Through Elevate Professional Development, launched in 2025, he delivers UK-wide workshops to strengthen care leadership. With 20 years of boardroom experience, Tom has consistently driven strategic leadership and service transformation. Holding a BPS-approved Psychology degree, a Master’s in Psychoanalytic Observational Studies, and postgraduate qualifications in Management and Strategic Management, he blends academic and practical expertise. Currently, he serves as Non-Executive Chair at AMMA Childcare Ltd, Non-Executive Director at Cedars Childcare Ltd and Empathy CIC, and advises the leadership teams of a number of organisations in the third and independent sectors. Links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/ Secure Start Site: https://securestart.com.au/ Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Support the show

    1h 32m
  2. #36: What If Behaviour Is Just Armour For Hurt? Vicki McKeown

    JAN 25

    #36: What If Behaviour Is Just Armour For Hurt? Vicki McKeown

    Send us a text What if the behaviour that drives you up the wall is actually armour against shame? We sit down with psychotherapist and author Vicky McKeown to unpack how shame and attachment shape everyday life for children, parents, and the professionals who support them. From adoption and fostering to classrooms and case reports, we trace the subtle ways shame shows up and how a shift in language and stance can transform outcomes. Vicky shares her journey from criminology to trauma therapy and makes a strong case for working with the whole caregiving unit, not just “the child.” We break down Lisa Etherson’s shame containment theory in plain language: why shame fires when connection feels at risk, how people build protective strategies like perfectionism, aggression, or withdrawal, and what adults can do to respond without piling on more shame. We also challenge common behaviour tools in schools — public colour charts, red cards, and time-outs that silence kids but feed their inner critic — and offer simple, shame-aware alternatives that preserve dignity and teach skills. You’ll hear how Jake and His Shame Armour opens safe conversations at home and in therapy, plus practical exercises Vicky uses to map triggers, slow tricky moments, and help parents “own their stuff.” We talk frankly about child protection and adoption disruptions, why report language matters, and how moving from blame to context supports real change while holding responsibility. If you care about trauma-informed practice, attachment, adoption, or behaviour in schools, this is a grounded, hands-on guide to seeing the mind behind the behaviour and building safety that lasts. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a colleague or friend, and leave a quick review — what’s one shame-aware change you’ll try this week? Vicki's Bio: Vicki McKeown is a qualified social worker, psychotherapeutic counsellor, and trauma-informed practitioner with over 15 years of experience supporting children, families, and professionals around attachment, shame, and relational trauma. She is the co-author of Jake and His Shame Armour, a children’s book underpinned by Lisa Etherson’s Shame Containment Theory. Through her work with VLM Therapy Ltd and Better Me Better Us Ltd, Vicki provides specialised training, consultation, and therapeutic support, helping individuals, families and organisations build safer, more connected, and emotionally attuned environments. Links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/ Podcast site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.buzzsprout.com Secure Start Site: https://securestart.com.au/ Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Further, any advice discussed is general in nature and does not replace clinical advice from a treating clinician. Support the show

    1h 1m
  3. #34:  Making the conscious unconscious, with Peter Blake

    JAN 18

    #34: Making the conscious unconscious, with Peter Blake

    Send us a text I am very excited to release my conversation with Peter Blake on The Secure Start Podcast. We explore how children communicate through behaviour and play, why containment matters, and how to balance understanding with practical management. We share tools to notice meaning, time conversations well, and use a child’s passions to build safety, trust, and growth. • why being relaxed and steady allows containment  • inner and outer worlds shaping behaviour  • OTT method: observe, think, talk in good time  • early anxieties, attachment, and security needs  • unrepressed unconscious and right-brain attunement  • play as the medium for change  • joining passions to say “your mind matters”  • naming thinking without therapy-speak  • projective identification and holding strong feelings  • signs therapy can wind down responsibly Across a warm, grounded conversation, Peter explains how to Observe, Think, and Talk in a way that children can digest, and why the right moment and tone matter more than the perfect words. We dive into early anxieties, attachment security, and the “unrepressed unconscious”—experiences from infancy that live in the body and spill into relationships. You’ll hear practical examples of responding rather than reacting, repairing ruptures, and using ordinary moments to create extraordinary change. Play takes centre stage as the engine of therapy. From computer games to surfboards and movie obsessions, passions carry emotional truth; joining them says “your mind matters.”  We also explore endings: how to recognise steadier behaviour, more integrative play, and a more ordinary, balanced bond as signals that therapy can wind down, with other relationships now carrying the holding. If you’re a parent, teacher, therapist, or carer, you’ll leave with a clearer map: keep boundaries firm, language simple, curiosity open, and focus on creating a felt experience of being known. That’s where change settles in.  Peter's Bio: Peter is a Clinical Psychologist and Tavistock trained child and adolescent psychotherapist. For 25 years Peter worked in child and family teams in Community Health Centres in England and Australia. For the last 25 years he has worked in private practice in Sydney. He was the Foundation President of the Child Psychoanalytic Foundation, a charity  based in Sydney. He is currently Director of the Institute of Child and Adolescent Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy ( ICAPP). This is a training body offering child and adolescent psychotherapy, based in Sydney but offered online.  He has lectured in a number of Australian Universities and has given workshops to professionals across Australia. The third edition of his book, “Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy: Maaking the Conscious Unconscious” (2021, Routledge), is now useed as a textbook in a number of different countries. It has been translated into Georgian and Mandarin. He has contributed to numerous publications and Journals. Links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/ Secure Start Site: https://securestart.com.au/ Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Further, any advice discussed is general in nature and does not replace clinical advice from a treating clinician.  Support the show

    1h 27m
  4. #35: What If Children's Safeguarding Began With Love? Carla Keyte

    JAN 11

    #35: What If Children's Safeguarding Began With Love? Carla Keyte

    Send us a text What if the most powerful safeguarding tool isn’t another form, but a steady adult who shows up with love? That’s the heart of my conversation with Carla Keyte, founder of Lighthouse and a leading voice in UK residential care, as we unpack how safe, stable, loving homes are built—and measured—through relationships, not fear. We explore how love-led practice, not fear-based compliance, creates safe, stable, loving homes in residential care. We trace the sector’s language shift from behaviour management to relational healing, and ask the tough question: how do we evaluate what children actually feel? Carla makes a compelling case that compliance is essential but should be the floor, not the ceiling. She explains why incident counts miss the lived experience of safety, and how psychologically safe teams create environments where children can play, connect, and grow. We dive into the Lighthouse model—safeguard the child, stabilise adults through supervision and reflective practice, and strengthen the home’s culture and governance—so that regulation supports, rather than stifles, love-led care. We also challenge the idea that professional boundaries mean emotional distance. Drawing on attachment and neuroscience, Carla shows how attuned relationships rebuild trust and reduce fear. We explore how inspections could function as safeguarding partnerships, bringing multi-agency expertise to design therapeutic interventions instead of handing out labels. From Scotland’s Promise to extending support beyond 18, we highlight the policies that protect the human connection that truly changes lives. If you care about residential care quality, trauma-informed practice, and practical ways to create homes where children feel they matter, this conversation offers a clear, hopeful path forward. About Carla: Carla is the Founder and Director of Lighthouse, bringing extensive expertise in quality, compliance, and safeguarding across the residential childcare sector in the UK. With a background spanning Registered Manager, Head of Care, and Head of Quality & Compliance for an organisation operating over 30 homes rated Good and Outstanding, Carla has deep, practical insight into operational leadership, regulatory compliance, and governance.   Carla has a proven track record of resolving complex compliance issues and supporting organisations through challenging regulatory actions. Her specialism lies in developing and embedding Quality and Governance frameworks that drive sustainable improvement and ensure the highest standards of care.   Passionate about love-led practice and the power of meaningful relationships, Carla champions approaches that create safe, nurturing, and stable environments where children and young people can truly thrive.   Carla founded Lighthouse to provide expert guidance and tailored support to providers navigating an increasingly complex regulatory landscape. The name Lighthouse reflects Carla’s vision: to act as a guiding beacon for organisations, illuminating the path through complexity toward excellence in care, safeguarding, and relational practice. Links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/ Secure Start Site: https://securestart.com.au/ Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Support the show

    57 min
  5. #33 Care Leavers To Care Leaders - with Surja (Udayan Care Alumni)

    12/24/2025

    #33 Care Leavers To Care Leaders - with Surja (Udayan Care Alumni)

    Send us a text What happens when belief meets opportunity and doesn’t let go? We sit down with Surja—care‑experienced leader, LIFT alum, and global advocate—to trace a path from a village in Uttar Pradesh to a seat at international tables, and to unpack what real aftercare looks like when lived experience leads. With Dr Kiran Modi offering context on Udayan Care’s model, we explore how mentoring, peer networks, and co‑creation turn care leavers into care leaders. Across the conversation, we map the mechanics of the LIFT Fellowship: a one‑year journey that blends mentoring, life skills, and project design to strengthen aftercare systems. We talk about failing early and thriving later, about teachers who stayed late and house mentors who stay for life, and about the shift from telling hard stories to proposing practical solutions. When alumni return as coordinators and network builders, advocacy stops being an event and becomes an ecosystem. That’s where policy changes—when people closest to the gaps design the bridge. We also step into the Global Care Leavers Community. From Africa’s aftercare gaps to language barriers in Latin America, cross‑regional learning sparks better ideas and fairer access to platforms. The network acts as a hub for research, conferences, and leadership development, making sure participation includes pay, preparation, and ongoing support. The biggest lesson? Short‑term fixes rarely change a life. Long‑term mentoring, multi‑year pathways, and true partnership between experience and expertise are what anchor success. If you care about child protection, aftercare, youth leadership, or how to build systems that don’t let people fall through the cracks, this story will stay with you.  Surja's Bio: Surja is a care leaver from Uttar Pradeshm who spent nine years in a Udayan Care Childrens home. In 2022, she joined the LIFT (Learning in Fellowship Together) Fellowship, where she raised awareness about care leavers through impactful blog writing, and mobilized care leavers in Uttar Pradesh to form Care Leavers Unite, a growing state network. Since BICON 2023, Surja has been part of the BICON Reference Group, contributing her ideas and experiences to strengthen global care leaver advocacy. In 2025, she became a member of the BICON Coordination Group, taking an active role in the BICON Committee to help shape future gatherings with her insights and leadership. Surja is a core member of the National Care Leavers Network since 2023 and an active part of the Global Care Leavers Community, where she has been advocating for care leavers on national and international platforms for over three years. In 2023, Surja also became the Coordinator for LIFT – the National Care Leavers Fellowship at Udayan Care, where she guides care leaders to design and implement innovative, personalized projects that strengthen care and aftercare systems while bridging gaps in support for young people transitioning out of care. Her work reflects a deep commitment to building strong connections, amplifying care leavers’ voices, and shaping better policies for aftercare across India and beyond. Links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/ Podcast site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.buzzsprout.com Secure Start Site: https://securestart.com.au/ Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast ow Support the show

    1h 5m
  6. #32 It Takes A Network, Not A Superhero - with Robbie Gilligan

    12/14/2025

    #32 It Takes A Network, Not A Superhero - with Robbie Gilligan

    Send us a text What if lasting change for young people in care comes not from a single attachment, but from a web of “many good adults” who open doors to the wider world? We sit down with Emeritus Professor Robbie Gilligan to trace how schools, mentors, hobbies, and work links create belonging that survives the transition out of care. Drawing on four decades of research and vivid stories—from a nun buying Sinead O’Connor’s first guitar to a baker mentoring a teen before dawn—we map an outward-facing practice that turns values into opportunities. Across the conversation, we challenge the narrow gaze that reduces a child’s world to placements and case files. School rises as a daily engine of recognition and routine; groups and residential communities offer regulation and growth; and community networks carry young people beyond age eighteen, when statutory support often fades. Robbie makes the case for social capital alongside attachment theory, showing how curated networks of teachers, coaches, employers, extended family, and former carers reduce reliance on luck and buffer life’s inevitable ruptures. We also unpack what meaningful participation really looks like: keeping young people in the loop, protecting their face among peers, and showing visible influence from what they say. Certainty lowers anxiety; small, consistent actions build trust. The takeaway is practical and hopeful—scaffold repair, protect talents and interests through moves, and design services that help each child enter the world with more connections than they had yesterday. If you care about child protection, residential care, foster care, or the journey of care leavers, this is a grounded, humane roadmap for change. Robbie’s Bio: Robbie holds a Professor Emeritus appointment at the School of Social Work and Social Policy, Trinity College Dublin. He previously served as Professor of Social Work and Social Policy at Trinity from 2001- 2022, and in total was a full time academic there for 40 years. He has worked in the area of children in care, care leavers and marginalised young people in many roles over his career including as: youth worker, social worker, policy advocate, foster carer, board member of residential and community services, adviser, social work educator and researcher.  He has published widely in relation to the experiences of children and young people in out of home care and care experienced adults (with a strong focus on their work and education journeys). He has recently published with Vietnamese colleagues a study of care leaver experiences in Vietnam. He is currently Co-Principal Investigator of Ten Years On - a national study of care leavers in their late twenties/early thirties in Ireland.  He has also served as an adviser (2021-22) to the Organisation for Economic Coooperation and Development report on care-leavers - the first such intervention by OECD on this topic: Improving care leavers’ socioeconomic outcomes | The OECD Forum Network (oecd-forum.org).  See https://orcid.org/0000-0002-4150-3523 for a full list of his publications and outputs Links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/ Secure Start Site: https://securestart.com.au/ Disclaimer Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions Support the show

    1h 7m
  7. #31 Truth First: Caring Beyond The System, with Louise Allen

    12/03/2025

    #31 Truth First: Caring Beyond The System, with Louise Allen

    Send us a text Some conversations burn slowly and then glow for days. Sitting down with Louise Allen, we trace a line from a childhood rewritten by others to a life spent restoring names, dignity, and futures. Louise grew up in care, became a long‑term foster carer, and now writes bestsellers that refuse to look away. She talks candidly about forced adoption, the quiet children who go unseen, and the neighbour who saved her by offering what the system couldn’t: warmth without conditions and a place to just be a kid. We get practical, not theoretical. Louise shows how to keep a child’s dignity intact in a world of notes and meetings: put their photo on the table, say the answer instead of asking the painful question again, and write logs to the child because they will read them. We explore why dogs often do what adults can’t, acting as co‑regulators and night watch when self‑harm risks rise. And we challenge the culture of “minimum standards,” arguing for training, support, and respect that match the complexity of foster care. Warm welcomes, eye contact, a kitchen that smells like biscuits—these are not small things. They are the work. Louise also opens the door to Spark Sisterhood, the charity she founded after visiting girls who’d fallen off the cliff edge of care. We unpack how inconsistent allowances, isolation, and learned dependencies collide at 18, and how Spark’s Care‑to‑Career program builds life skills, confidence, and pathways into real jobs in construction, engineering, and tech. It’s a blueprint for post‑care support that trades pity for agency and short‑term fixes for paid futures. Along the way, we touch on her Thrown Away Children books, the power of telling the truth with humour, and the new Foster Care Uncovered podcast she co‑hosts with Sarah Anderson. If you care about children’s mental health, foster care, trauma‑informed practice, or the transition from care to independence, this one will stay with you. Listen, share with a colleague, and leave a review to help more people find these stories—and the hope inside them. Louise’s Bio: Louise is the award-winning author behind the bestselling Thrown Away Children series. Her stories draw from the lived experiences of being part of a foster family. Her brand-new series, Slave Girls, continues her mission to share the real, often unheard stories of children and young people—with courage, honesty, and hope.   Through Spark Sisterhood, Louise is building a community where girls from care are met with friendship and essential life and employment skills, and where they are encouraged to believe in themselves and their futures. One of the charity’s most exciting projects is Care to Career, a two-week programme that offers girls jobs, apprenticeships and work experience by working with employers. The programme supports young women aged 18–25. It’s about more than just finding a job, which they do, it’s about creating space for young women to thrive.    Having grown up in care and now fostering children herself, Louise understands the care system from the inside out; she has a unique 360˚ understanding. She is a respected and leading voice.  Links: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/ Secure Start Site: https://securestart.com.au/\ Disclaimer Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Support the show

    1h 15m

About

In the same way that a secure base is the springboard for the growth of the child, knowledge of past endeavours and lessons learnt are the springboard for growth in current and future endeavours.If we do not revisit the lessons of the past we are doomed to relearning them over and over again, with the result that we may never really achieve a greater potential.In keeping with the idea we are encouraged to be the person we wished we knew when we were starting out, it is my vision for the podcast that it is a place where those who work in child protection and out-of-home care can access what is/was already known, spring-boarding them to even greater insights.